Dan the Fan

thank you guys for playing blogs with me

Imagine how difficult of an adjustment it will be for Shane and Ilya to not only be on the same team but to never actually share the ice (except on the power play). They're stuck watching their man be far and away the best player out there without the distraction of being mid-play themselves and they've lost their outlet for channelling all of their sexual tension into something reasonably acceptable for audiences. Imagine the fan edits of them just sitting on the bench, chewing on their mouthguard, while shooting obvious fuck-me-eyes at the other. Ilya's urge to check Shane into the boards is unreasonable. As soon as Shane gets on the ice he shoots off like a bat out of hell to burn off his excess energy. They can't even fucking look at each other in the locker room. As soon as they're home Ilya is throwing Shane up against the wall as hard as he would have done if they were both wearing pads. Those first few months they both acquire more bruises off the ice than on it.

A pretty good day with Shane Hollander on the Ottawa Centaurs: he's slapping your back and telling you you'll get 'em next time (the form is there, you just gotta get the reps in), he's complimenting your stick taping technique, he's giving you specific feedback on what you did well so you can replicate it, he's punching the air when you score a goal, he's saying "Fuck that was pretty, fuck yes, that's hockey, boys," he's having one to two (1-2) Molsons in the bottle out at Monks later, he's walking around with his arm around Rozanov's waist and gesturing wildly while he gushes about the power play, he's slapping the table and saying "this is what I'm SAYING" when you make a good point about Philadelphia's defense, and most importantly he's on cloud nine, practically snarling and shaking Rozanov's shoulder and saying crazy shit like— "We're going to the playoffs baby, we're going all the way. Don't give me that superstitious crap, this team can get it!"