my terracotta heart

I do get you. Because we’re bro soulmates. Bromates. If they ever do make a full on horror movie about him, I feel like we should have the starring roles. Just because all of our childhood trauma over him basically makes us a shoe in. Plus it will be the perfect outlet to let go of our fears and finally face him. Sure just bust in any time of the day. Just be cautious because I don’t know what kind of things you’ll see and I don’t want to scare you forever. So at least knock first. We’ve officially become crazy dog parents. It’s gotten to the point where Saoirse was in Target shopping for one of our friend’s children for a birthday party and she actually came home with baby clothes for the dog. Yes, you do. You’re officially the Joey to our Monica and Chandler. We’ll even build a special Joey room for you. 

alright, alright. you’re definitely right. someone needs to make this happen. horror movie about slappy starring you and me. let’s get this into production asap. though, can’t guarantee i won’t jump into your arms like a giant baby. i’m definitely, definitely going to knock. and text several times. and call. because i do not want to be walking in on something i wish i hadn’t seen. and i don’t doubt that i would if i didn’t call ahead. she would though. tell her to stop spoiling her because her uncle timmy has to spoil her. i’m alright with being joey. no need for a whole room either, i’ll just chill in the corner as long as i have a blanket and some snacks.

Taron: i sure hope so

Taron: of course, love. i'm thinking of dressing her up soon. any requests?

Timothée: she definitely loves you

You guys, I simply cannot believe how time flies! Captain Marvel is about a month away, and I remember the first day of filming and production as if it was yesterday. This has been such a blessing, and press tours are coming, and everything’s happening so fast, it’s hard to keep up! Anyway, what’s something that you’re all looking forward to this year? Anything counts! Tell me everything, I wanna know.

films go by so fast. it always feels like yesterday, honestly. and it’s like, you don’t even have time to process it because usually by the time everything is said and done with, you’re already working on another project. but just gotta do your best to stay on that grind. super excited for you, by the way. i can’t imagine the excitement behind being in something that big. it’ll be amazing, no doubt. can’t wait to see it!

Candice: That's my dream right there. I'll even frame it and proudly display it. But of course I'll take it out and walk around with it whenever I want to feel like a badass.

Candice: PLEASE! We all miss you so much and we all need a little vacation as a cute little family.

Candice: I would love to go to Hawaii again. We can definitely talk to Armie and see what his schedule is like and see when the best time to go is.

Timothée: i can envision this perfectly

Timothée: it really suits you

Whenever I have children, I’m going to name my first son Barrington. He’ll probably hate me for it, but he’ll learn the meaning behind his name once he gets older. Of course. Barrington and I couldn’t have our romantic night together without our best pal Timmy. You just need your own adorable nickname for your bear and we can totally make this a double date.

barrington “the bear” posey. i think that really works. he’ll understand his roots soon enough. i might need your help with that one though... i’m like the least creative when it comes to nicknames. i couldn’t even come up with a good nickname for myself. maybe... grizzlee? grizz for short? that’s kind of cute, right?

Aw sweetie, how come you’re not sleeping? Oh no I just want to hug you! It makes me sad seeing you sad. I’m good, yeah! It sounds like we have a lot to catch up my love. I hope you do, i miss that face of yours! Quit sweet talking me, I’m already obsessed with you.

sleep? what is sleep? i never sleep. i’m not sad! i’m okay, i promise. it’s just been a lot of traveling and stuff lately. i’m really glad you’re good! we definitely have to catch up though. call me whenever you want and you can gush and i’ll gush. we’ll have a gushing party. i’m not sweet talking you! i’m just being real with you. you know how i am.

Oh, I feel that. I think I use winter as an excuse, but I’m always feeling a little bit sluggish. And at award shows I kinda finding myself zoning out a lot, it definitely can get repetitive. Exactly, all that work to get ready and be there but I’m just thinking about being home in pjs. You’re right, it is apart of the job and I always do love catching up with friends and meeting new people. 

winter makes the sluggish feeling worse, for sure, but it’s a year-round feeling. bring a book! that’s what i do sometimes. if you need to research for a role, or if it’s just for leisure. it helps in those weird empty moments. sometimes it’s fun though! after you sit down and get settled in, it’s nice to just chat with some other amazing actors and actresses. other times, the pjs are constantly on my mind.

Hello you beautiful snowflake! I missed talking to your cute self. How are you? What’s the hot goss? Tell me everything! And where in the world are you because if you’re in LA, we’re meeting up soon before I leave on Wednesday for London, my darling!

hey, i’ve missed you! things are good! things are busy. i’m trying to keep my head on my shoulders and get at least a 2 hour nap in every day because i haven’t been sleeping most nights. doing my best though. how are you?! how’s everything?! i can definitely try and make it back to LA by wednesday if it means i get to hang with you.

Kiernan: it’s ok! I told her you’re too busy and cool right now to even look at your phone. I mean.. hanging out with Kanye West, making award nominated films… 🤷🏻‍♀️

Timothée: that’s not true! i’m always cool enough for your mom. i’d rather be hanging out with your mom

Timothée: don’t tell anyone i said that though, might ruin the image

Armie: nah. you already called me a loser and there’s no taking it back. that hurts, tim. i’m HURT.

Armie: you work way too much, but like, i get it. being friends with you is proving to be more and more difficult with the longer you remain the it boy. let everyone know i knew you first and to give you some time off. kidding, don’t do that. yeah, facetime’s cool. well, it’s enough for now. we do expect you to come through and catch up with us in person soon enough!

Timothée: that's tragic, also tragic that i don't feel bad. i'm kidding ! i feel really terrible, actually... please forgive me

Timothée: i have to! i'm pretty sure no one knows who i am still, so

Timothée: don't call me that... "it" boy... i'm not the "it" anything, i'm just me

I don’t know if anybody else feels this way but award season is just exhausting me this year. Like, sure it’s exciting. I don’t mind putting on a pretty dress and supporting fellow friends, but I just can’t stop thinking about my bed when I’m not home. Maybe it’s because it’s winter? Or maybe I’m just lazy? Who knows. All I know is that when I’m smiling on the red carpet, all I can think about is being buried under the covers at home with a pizza and Netflix. Guess I’m in serious need of an espresso shot or a stiff drink before going out, lol. What about you? Do you ever feel sluggish at this time of year?

i always feel sluggish, if i’m honest. not going to lie, i’ve been finding ways to distract myself at these award shows. i totally respect everyone and everything that’s been nominated, but it gets repetitive sometimes. pizza, netflix, and a nice warm blanket sounds totally better than a tight suit and some champagne, but y’know. you gotta do what you gotta do and it’s always amazing to meet new people you admire.

Taron: she has finally sniffed every object in the house

Taron: you know you can just come over whenever you want to, right? i mean, we can definitely facetime but like,,,, the offer is open

Timothée: i bet she's so happy !

Timothée: you know i would if i wasn't running around the world right now 😔😩

Seb: I lost touch with the world. What is everyone up to? Who’s engaged, single, had a baby, moved into a new house, on tour, bought a fish? Update me with your lives.

Oh my god, don’t say that. Worse than them seeing my ugly selfies and other pictures nobody should see, they can’t possibly have read it. I feel very ashamed.  It’s too late, I’m traumatized now! I know, but because are stupid, should I also be stupid? It was pretty stupid, you can say I’m an idiot, it’s alright, I can be one. You’re being way too nice with me.

they’ve definitely seen all your ugly selfies. just like they’ve seen all my ugly selfies. it’s okay! it happens. nothing is private in 2019. don’t be ashamed, especially when they’re probably looking at someone doing something 10 times more stupid than your theory. you’re not stupid, you’re not an idiot. you’re amazing and talented and wonderful and don’t ever think otherwise, alright? i’m not being nice, just being honest. don’t doubt yourself.

Emma: i had to ,i had just gotten to that part of the book

Emma: i'm good! back home in london just relaxing and catching up with some mates. how are you?

Timothée: oh man, that book never gets old though. you find new things to appreciate about it each time. andré is such an amazing writer

Timothée: i miss you already ! i'm doing alright, a lot of work stuff going on and i'm trying to balance everything and usually just end up taking a nap

I think This is Us hits home for a lot of people. We tell so many stories and it relates to everyone. But also you can feel like you know the family and if you know them you feel for them. I never thought I’d be good enough for work like this…but I am glad I am.  But it is very crazy since we all know it’s not real but everyone can cry about it. 

i get that, especially playing a family on a television. people get to watch you grow from the comfort of their own homes and they feel like they really know the characters. it’s been a while since i’ve done anything tv related, but i’d love to go back and do something like that now, especially because it’s not as fleeting as making movies is.