Westley

This is good, the rain will help soothe you to sleep. Maybe this time you'll have a night of rest without nightmares.

You go about your routine, showering with patchouli scented soap; scrubbing the day off your skin, ready for a fresh start. There's skincare products lining the bathroom counter, each one recommended by Bella.

One by one, you apply each product; feeling yourself become whole once more.

Preparing for bed, you light some spearmint incense- turning off all lights except for a single dim lamp.

After all the nightmares you've been having, waking up to pure darkness in the middle of night is no longer something you're comforted by. Sou bought you a dimmable lamp, one to provide support when he is unable.

Just the thought of Sou caring for you so much brings a smile to your face. He truly is the sweetest.

You climb into bed, soft fluffy blankets engulf you, providing warmth in contrast to the cold, sharp air.

This is nice, being so warm and comfortable. Especially after such a content day talking with your family. Enjoying the everyday things.

There's a spike of adrenaline in your veins, something is calling to you outside. You can't resist it any longer.

Rushing towards the front door, you slip your shoes on, barely getting them on correctly before running down the hall towards the outside.

It's so cold out, the rain soaking your clothes in an instant. Plastering your hair to your face. This weather is so different from your dreams.

Instead of suffocating and feeling pure agony in your joints. It's cold and clear. You can breathe clearly, the ice cold air burning your lungs.

It's oddly comforting.

Maybe Bella was right. There was something you were holding onto without realizing- you simply just need to let it go. Let life take it's course, allow you to move on from it's clutches.

You close your eyes. Taking a deep breath.

You remember now...

That quote, the one Bella couldn't remember in its entirety.

"I want to live while I wait for you, painted for me in the color of rain." By Pablo Neurda

All the pain you tried to forget comes rushing back. Opening your eyes, you take in your surroundings, overwhelmed by how vastly different it is.

Buildings are crumbling, bricks falling off the walls- threatening anyone who dares to enter. Windows are boarded up and graffiti covers every surface in the area.

You remember the blood on your hands, the smile on Bella's face- teeth stained with blood. Her blood.

You got them killed, everything is all your fault. Bella, Clint... Sou... They're all gone.

You ran and ran, hoping to get away from everything. Eventually finding yourself in an abandoned neighborhood.

You should've known better than to ignore the signs to turn back. The signs that stated the neighborhood is off limits. Poisoned by the joker toxin. A poison near impossible to rid of if it's roots are planted too deep.

This entire time you've been living a lie.

It's currently 4:30pm, as of right now shops and cafes will be busy as people get off work, getting pick me ups before heading home. It would be best If you started getting ready and head out early to get the best table for the two of you.

It doesn't take you long to get ready. Swapping your pajamas out for some jeans and a t-shirt, keeping Sou's sweater on for comfort and warmth.

You swing your bag over your shoulder, slapping on some sunglasses and begin to head out. Making sure to lock your front door.

The walk is calm and oddly cool. Despite the sun beating down, there's a chilly wind whipping about- playing with your hair and cooling your skin.

Children laugh and run down the streets, backpacks on their backs as they head home from after school activities. Oh to be a child once more, only having to worry about making it to the school lunch line on time. Or if your friends will be there or at home sick again.

You shake your head, being an adult isn't all that bad. Everyday is a sleepover with the love of your life, and living as neighbors with your best friend is pretty great as well.

Lost in your thoughts, you almost walk past the cafe. It's a cute couple owned cafe, the walls painted a sage green, with velvet couches and oak tables. Plants line the walls and ceiling, the scent of the flowers mixing well with the coffee in the air.

5:08pm, Bella won't be here for another few minutes due to the length of the walk. Maybe you can order drinks for the two of you, that way it's all prepared and ready for her.

She tends to be picky about her drinks, not too keen on experimenting, especially with the way prices are going nowadays. As of late, she's been exhausted on coffee, so maybe a sweet drink would be a good choice.

A smoothie would be good, she's been wanting to get Jamba Juice for a while now but hasn't been.

Approaching the counter, you order for both you and Bella. A Mango Strawberry smoothie with peach juice, and a Blended Matcha with vanilla bean powder. Classics for the two of you.

By the time you sit, and drinks have been delivered to the table, Bella arrives in all her glory with a giant grin.

The two of you chat as though it's been years since the last you've seen the other. Swapping stories from work and what has been going on at home.

It turns out that there is some major drama going on regarding the security officers at her job. Tina hasn't been doing patrols, and Mark is having an affair with her (Bella's) managers wife.

In turn, you shared a few stories from work, how Cindy just got engaged and has invited her to the wedding. Asking opinions on dresses and how to prepare vows properly.

At some point, you told Bella about your nightmares. How each one is the same.

Standing in the rain, and how suffocating it is. As though there is something chained to your chest. The monsters lurking in the corner, the stares and blood. That you don't understand any of it, or why it is plaguing your sleep so much.

"Maybe it's a sign" She said, "do you know what rain tends to signify?"

No, you don't, that's why you're confiding in her. She tends to know a lot about these kind of situations. Understanding the hidden meaning.

"The rain washes memories from the sidewalks and from the buildings.' a quote by Yehuda Amichai. Maybe it's a sign that you need to let go of something."

Strange. There isn't any memories, or anything that has been bothering you to result to that conclusion.

With a sigh, you ended up changing the subject to more happier notes. And soon before you know it, it's 7pm, time to start heading home.

The two of you walk together, side by side like old times. Laughing and jumping around as the sky turns dark with clouds.

As you start to say your goodbyes, unlocking your front door, Bella turns to you once more.

"There's another quote, I don't remember how it started but it was something like 'painted for me in the color of rain.' I don't know why but I felt like I should share that with you."

And with that, she disappears through her front door.

Time passes quickly as you prepare dinner, sitting at the dining table all alone, eating by yourself. It hurts.. a lot that you're all alone.

You understand why, Sou is an important figure at his workplace. And yet, you can't help but feel so depressed, an ache in your heart tearing you apart day by day. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Being alone all the time.

As the minutes pass, you slow down, barely holding on to your bearings. Working on autopilot as you clean up the dishes, putting leftovers away into the fridge. Leaving behind a note of your own incase Sou comes home hungry. He won't though.. like usual..

Thunder rumbles outside as lightning lights up the dark sky. It's starting to rain- hard. As though the sky has been holding it's tears and pain for too long. You understand that feeling...

You stare out the window, watching as the streets begin to flood quickly; barely absorbing any of the rainwater. It's inviting, so so inviting...

[ 1 ] Shake your head, slipping your shoes on to go outside

[ 2 ] Sigh and prepare for bed, the rain will soothe you to sleep

There's a particular book that you've been meaning to read for quite a while. One that Sou recommended to you, To The Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf.

It's a classic book, one full of all kinds of meanings, exploring life and death.

You head towards the bookshelves, hands roaming the spines of all the books. Many worn from years of being handled and read, some brand new- rarely touched or yet to be read. Finally, you land on the book you were looking for.

The cover is interesting, dull in color yet somehow radiating such emotion. As though telling you exactly what to expect inside the pages.

Humming, you sit back down in your armchair from earlier. Readjusting to get comfortable, legs thrown over the armrests. This will be good for you, to relax and enjoy a book of another life.

You read for hours, occasionally taking note of particular quotes and page numbers you liked.

There was one quote you adored, for it reminded you of your sweet Sou.

"He smiled the most exquisite smile, veiled by memory, tinged by dreams."

You'll have to share it with him when he comes home.

You stretch your neck and shoulders, readjusting your position after so long. Before you are able to continue your chapter, your phone dings. A particular tune, only used for one specific person. Bella.

As you respond to her texts, another tune dings. Sou is texting you now as well. Your heart surges, god you miss him. It's been so long since you've had any time to yourselves. You hope that it's to tell you he's on his way home. Maybe he got off work early.

Your heart hurts. He's staying at work late. But... at least you have Bella to keep you company. Maybe it's a good thing, that she invited you out.

Cafe date with Bella

You hum, thinking about how happy Bella was when you first performed a song for her. It was a version of her favorite song, Love Like Mine by Stela Cole.

Remembering the memory, you decide to practice the piano- to try out new songs from one of the many music sheets.

You sit on the leather bench, and gently run your fingers across the keys. It's been a while since you've practiced, it would be good to pick it up once more.

Reaching down into the basket, just left of piano, you grab a binder filled of music sheets. Flipping through it you land on a particular one. One that seems quite complicated; rachmaninoff prelude in g minor

A challenge. Could be fun to attempt.

For hours, you practice the song. Playing it over and over again as you make mistakes on keys, missing notes. Yet despite how long you mulled over the song- you not once got bored.

You missed this. You missed the freedom of having control over music, how it sounds, the pressure under your fingers as it glides across the piano.

One last time, one last attempt through. Maybe you'll even ace it, maybe you can perform it for Sou and the others tomorrow.

Before you can even adjust your positioning to begin once more, your phone dings. A particular tune, only used for one specific person. Bella.

As you respond to her texts, another tune dings. Sou is texting you now as well. Your heart surges, god you miss him. It's been so long since you've had any time to yourselves. You hope that it's to tell you he's on his way home. Maybe he got off work early.

Your heart hurts. He's staying at work late. But... at least you have Bella to keep you company. Maybe it's a good thing, that she invited you out.

Cafe date with Bella

After dealing with the chaos whirlwind that is Clint Barton, you decided it was time to finally begin your day.

You slept in late, but the exhaustion was far too much so you took a nap. And now it's noon, with the sun high in the sky- not a cloud in sight.

Slipping on Sou's favorite sweater, you make your way through the quaint kitchen. It's like muscle memory to you, preparing the kettle with 16 ounces of water, just enough for two cups of earl grey tea. Your favorite.

The toaster oven chimes, alerting you that it's all pre-heated and ready to toast your bread. As you prep the bread, buttering it and setting it upon the tray. You notice a sticky note on the side of the appliance, one left behind by Sou. Your Sou.

He wishes for you to have a great day and enjoy the sun. That he will see you tonight.

Sou is always so sweet. Leaving behind little notes around the house for you to find. You can't help the soft smile that graces your lips.

Pocketing the note, you continue your usual morning routine. Relax in the arm chair in the living room by the balcony doors, eating your toast and indulging in specialty earl grey tea with a little too much sugar.

It's nearing 1:30pm by the time you finish cleaning up. You look around, thinking about what you wish to do to kill time.

Your eyes land on the electric piano, a gift from Bella, before trailing to the bookshelves lined with all kinds of genres of media.

What to do... what to do...

[ 1 ] Practice Piano

[ 2 ] Read a novel

Clint stares at you, eyes wide and hand on his chest- clutching imaginary pearls.

He chuckles nervously, "getting.. an egg?"

You can feel a headache coming on from behind your eyes. You're far too exhausted to be dealing with Clints shenanigans.

He shifts his weight before slowly walking backwards towards the kitchen.

"I can explain, I assure you I am not up to anything bad"

"Is that so?"

He stumbles, tripping on the heel of his slides, now standing at the entrance of your kitchen.

"Iiiii am... baking a cake! Yes, baking a cake, for Bella. Yup"

Clint turns around, opening the fridge and rummages through. He moves items around, looking worried when he struggles to find what he's looking for.

"Todays our anniversary and Bella got called into work for an emergency and had no choice but to go and she was sad that we'd have to cancel our plans to go out and i wanted to make a cake to cheer her up because she's been teaching me how to bake lately but i messed up the first attempt and I'm one egg short-"

"So you decide to raid my fridge."

"Well- yeah cause you're my best friend" He pauses for a moment, "ah hah! Yes found it"

Clint turns around, closing the fridge shut. He's grinning brightly as he holds the egg like a precious diamond.

"You don't mind do you?"

You sigh heavily, rubbing your temples to ease the incoming headache. And for some reason, he takes that as a no- that he's free to leave with your egg. Your last egg you were going to use for breakfast.

"Thanks Ven, you're the best!" Clint cheerfully yells out, skipping and stumbling over his feet as he rushes out of your apartment.

Begin your morning routine

"I can explain, I assure you I am not up to anything bad"

Clint stares back at you, increasingly getting uncomfortable by your anger. He shifts his weight before slowly walking backwards towards the kitchen.

"Is that so?"

He stumbles, tripping on the heel of his slides, now standing at the entrance of your kitchen.

"Iiiii am... baking a cake! Yes, baking a cake, for Bella. Yup"

Clint turns around, opening the fridge and rummages through. He moves items around, looking worried when he struggles to find what he's looking for.

"You're baking a cake. So you decide to raid my fridge."

"Well- its- its more complicated than that" He pauses for a moment, "ah hah! Yes found it"

Turning around once more, closing the fridge, you notice he's holding an egg.

"My first attempt didn't go well, and- well I'm one egg short. You dont mind do you?"

You sigh heavily, rubbing your temples to ease the incoming headache. And for some reason, he takes that as a no- that he's free to leave with your egg. Your last egg you were going to use for breakfast.

"Awh man! Thanks Ven, you're the best!" Clint cheerfully yells out, skipping and stumbling over his feet as he rushes out of your apartment.

Begin your morning routine

With a deep breath, you quietly roll off the couch to the floor; and you wait.

You wait for the sound of footsteps to approach, for any sound indication of just where they are moving towards. Your heart beats harshly in your chest, the adrenaline rushing so fast it nearly blinds you; making you ill.

Deep breaths, in through the nose, out the mouth. Focus, you need to focus. Don't let the fear get to you.

They step on a loose floorboard, letting out a quiet curse. That voice.. sounds familiar?

You peak around the corner of the couch, only to notice a pair of pink slides paired with hawk themed socks.

Clint.

What the hell.

You stand up from your position on the ground, staring Clint down as he tiptoes towards the kitchen. He just barely notices you in his peripherals- flinching at the jump scare of you appearing out of no where.

"Ven! Hi! How-.. how long have you been there..."

"Long enough."

Clint chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Soo..." He speaks up, "How are you?"

[ 1 ] "Clint..."

[ 2 ] Disgruntled Stare

[ 3 ] "What the hell are you doing"

You hold your breath, hoping to not make any sound to alert the intruder. And you listen, desperately searching for where they may be.

Footsteps..

They're moving, very slowly, as if trying to avoid any loose floorboards.

Your heart is hammering in your chest, a rising panic of fear and dread of what may be to come. You can't breathe, you've been holding it in for too long. It'll be okay, it'll be okay to let it out.

Oh god, it came out too loud. They heard.

They stopped moving and you can feel their stare towards the couch. They know you're there.

"pssst... Raven that you?"

Clint. It was Clint this entire time.

The fear in your veins cools, leaving behind an anger towards Clint. You quickly sit up, whipping around to glare at Clint. Who just stands there, grinning sheepishly as though nothing was wrong.

[ 1 ] "Clint..."

[ 2 ] Disgruntled Stare

[ 3 ] "What the hell are you doing"

You groan, desperately holding on to what little sleepiness you have left. It's nearing noon and yet you're still so tired. Hopefully whoever is at the door takes the hint and goes away soon.

Yet despite how desperately you wish for them to disappear, it is not granted.

There's another round of knocking on the door, then a pause. The doorknob jingles.

Whoever it is, they're trying to get inside.

There's a click.

They're opening the door, the rust hinges squeaking in protest.

Your heart is beating harshly in your chest, breath caught in your throat.

Another click.. the door is closed shut.

They're inside.

[ 1 ] Don't move, don't breathe

[ 2 ] Slowly get up

You don't even want to know what he's up to this time. Each time you question him you end up getting dragged into whatever chaos it is.

Before he can even speak up to explain, you wander off towards your kitchen and rummage through the fridge looking for the egg carton. It's been a while since you've gone grocery shopping or even needed to buy eggs, so hopefully you find something.

The eggs turned out to be hiding behind a styrofoam container of leftover chili's baby back ribs. There's only one egg left, but if it's to appease Clint then so be it.

Begin your morning routine

Clint perks up as a silly grin spreads across his face. He shrugs nonchalantly as if his mischievousness isn't written all over his face.

"Don't worry about it, Ven"

You can't help but to scoff at that. The shenanigans that Clint gets up to will be the cause of your early graying, of course you're going to worry.

Clint sighs with a light blush on his cheeks, "Okay yeah- uh, I'm trying to bake a cake for Bella. Today's our anniversary and she got called into work and had no choice but to go to work and she was very sad that we'd have to cancel our plans for this morning and so instead of just buying some generic cake from a grocery store and end up with it tasting bad i thought that maybe-"

"Clint."

"...yes..?"

"Do you even know how to bake a cake?"

"It's.. the thought that counts?"

You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head. He's not entirely wrong; Bella wont care if the cake tastes good or not. She's just that kind of person who appreciates the sentiment and care put into something.

"Alright, give me a second"

You walk to your kitchen, and rummage through the fridge looking for the egg carton. It's been a while since you've gone grocery shopping or even needed to buy eggs, so hopefully you find something. Or else you'll have a kicked puppy for a Clint.

The eggs turned out to be hiding behind a styrofoam container of leftover chili's baby back ribs. There's only one egg left, but if it's for Bella's sake, you'll happily pass it off.

Begin your morning routine

Clint stutters, face flushing bright red.

"Me?! Why do you automatically think I did something?!" He yells out, waving his hands around frantically.

You can't help but stare at him, unimpressed. Clint is always up to no good, causing chaos around him. Of course you're going to think he did something.

"You're really asking me that?"

He pauses before sighing, running his fingers through his hair. Clint's stressed and part of you wants to relish in his panic, but another part is concerned. It's been a while since you've seen him like this.

"Okay fine that's fair..." He taps his foot on the ground, "I just need an egg."

[ 1 ] "An egg? Why an egg?"

[ 2 ] "Why are you like this?"

[ 3 ] Sigh and go get an egg

Clint falters and starts nervously fiddling with the hem of his shirt. Odd, it's rare for him to be so nervous in front of you especially after all that has happened over the years.

"Raven! My friend!" He laughs awkwardly, "I uh.. I need an egg. Can I borrow an egg?"

An egg... Clint woke you up for an egg.

[ 1 ] "An egg? Why an egg?"

[ 2 ] "Why are you like this?"

[ 3 ] Sigh and go get an egg