late night angsty jeresquip thoughts from a few days ago,, >< (scroll/block if ya don't like)
thinking about post-squip jeremy missing his squip. i think most days he'd pretend to be fine without it, friends distracting him from the eerie silence in his head. first few days after the play incident he may even accept the feeling of something missing. it was a rather drastic change, after all - to suddenly lose the second voice who'd accompanied him for the past weeks in his head. it would go away - he'd think.
as the months went by the feelings would only intensify. some days jeremy would despise the squip. he'd absolutely loathe it for all the horrible things it did to him.
..yet then again he'd also hate how much he missed hearing its voice. the squip did more wrong than good, he knew that it was bad for him.
that thought didn't stop him from laying in bed, late at night, thinking of how happy, authentic and free rich appeared to be without the supercomputer in his brain anymore. he'd wish it was him who got better rather than obsess over someone who'd hurt him so badly. why couldn't he just forget about it forever?
he'd hate himself for missing the squip's nagging presence. he'd feel confused and disgusted, yet also so miserable without its comforting embrace. the thoughts would turn borderline obsessive and they'd leave him weeping into his sheets, pathetically calling out its name, begging for it to come back..
but he'd always be met with the unfamiliar, eerie silence.
jeremy going out, but getting distracted every time mountain dew is brought up, staring with a look somewhere between loathing and longing
jeremy keeping the clothes the squip had him buy, not because he liked them, just that the thought of getting rid of them makes him nauseous
jeremy talking to himself sometimes, hoping that if he just says something stupid enough, it'll finally respond and end the lonely silence in his head
