but failures always sounded better

And of course the second part of the tragedy, which is: which quadrant did you think you were in vs. which one you were really in

you know what you shouldnt do? constantly tell your child how expensive they are to take care of. because eventually, that child gets scared of asking for money, and doesnt feed themself at school, doesnt go places with their friends that require money, because she doesnt want to be expensive. it really does get into their minds, that theyre too much money and that they shouldnt do anything.

unless you want to teach small kids about a laundry list of sex acts, they're not going to even recognise many acts of CSA as sexual in nature. instead, we need to have children who are raised with an expectation of bodily autonomy and who feel comfortable complaining when they're made or asked to do things they don't feel comfortable with. we need children to have the expectation that those complaints will be taken seriously and that they'll receive backup to make sure situations like that don't continue. if their desires for bodily autonomy are consistently ignored, how can we expect them to speak out when something confusing and uncomfortable happens with their parent, cousin, or babysitter? we've already taught them that what they feel comfortable with doesn't matter

in order to protect the children we have to kill the people who harm them most: dads

i do wonder if the people who go "we have to kill all pedophiles" understand that like most instances of CSA happen between parent and child. like yes let's kill the kid's parents i'm sure this is a great and uncomplicated solution that would not further traumatize the child

to put it succinctly, if "kill all rapists and pedophiles" were to be enacted you will have a system in which victims of sexual abuse will feel (and in part are!) directly responsible for the deaths of their abusers. most people are raped by friends and aquaintances. most children are raped by their parents. it is a reactionary and punitive sentiment that does nothing to help victims of this type of violence.

the older i get the more it's terrifying to me how much child surveillance is normalized. scared for your child's mental health? here's more tools that will make them feel even more watched at all times. child is experimenting with their gender identity while away from you? we made it this other adult's job to surveil them for you. kid is "enjoying" their "free time" instead of doing homework? we've put parental controls on the things that they like so that you can monitor their private time. like can we fucking stop

it took me until 24 to realize that my parents don't deserve to just waltz into my room while i'm asleep and that me thinking this was fucking terrifying behavior wasn't actually unreasonable at all

unrestricted internet access is good for children because the alternative is that their parents are fucking inescapable. surveilling your child is abuse.

you will struggle to say the unsayable thing for five years straight. and then it will suddenly become easy on a Wednesday morning

im in my girl's ear like i feel like something bad is going to happen to me. i feel like something bad has happened. it hasn't reached me yet but it's on its way.