convinced his friends to get married so that they don’t get evicted

lost 20 pounds for job and didn’t end up even getting the job

burned off his eyebrow

spread a rumor that he was dead so that he wouldn’t get beat up for stealing someone else’s girlfriend

made up a twin brother when he ran into the dude who he stole the girlfriend from so that he wouldn’t get beat up

takes said dude to his supposed grave so that he doesn’t get caught in his lie

almost starred in a porno because he didn’t want to ask his friends for money

participated in a questionable medical study so that he could make extra crash

ate the bones from chicken, fish and ox so that he could pay his credit card bill

got his legs, chest and armpits waxed by the sister of his then girlfriend 

was too nervous to ask someone what they meant so he kissed them on the cheek and got fired from his job

dropped instant noodles on his crotch and had to be treated by his then girlfriend’s mom

tore his pants on live television and became a meme

My brain: