Pudge The Fish in disguise

On the technical side I loved the art, animation and music in this one!! Obviously cause it's Ghibili. I loved the voice acting too! I like the muted colours a lot, they make the story feel even more real. Not that you need a realistic style to tell a realistic story but i feel like they really contribute to it here. Makes it feel like an old painting kind of.

On the topic of feelings this movie makes me feel really nostalgic. I used to stay at my grandma's house near some mountains a lot, and it wasn't the countryside but it felt like it. Her house is also very similar to the one of Anna's family, wooden. The scene where Anna I think wakes up in the middle of the night and there's like, the curtains and moonlight is something i have expierienced before. Like exactly. The countryside is a place familiar to me as in i live there (in the countryside i mean not the town in the movie), though i barely leave the house. There also isn't a swamp or a forest near. But this movie perfectly captures my kind of fantasy, this liminal landscape, to rest and to just exist on nature. The atmosphere invokes memories in me idk. I dig the aesthetic so to speak. The vibe. I'll stop now. Maybe It's because this movie feels really like, western for a japanese movie? With Marnie and her family being foreigners to Japan (American? I don't know) and the absence of things specific to japanese culture except for like, the beggining and the festival. The mansion is also very western. Not that It's better because of that obviously it's just more familiar to me. Reminds me of some movies i had on dvd and would watch over and over when i was younger.

Apart from that I love the weird ghost logic too, with Marnie appearing and disappearing, the mysterious abandoned mansion, the rain the swamp, the sea, the silo, I love it. Very liminal. To me.

I also relate to Anna a lot. I am not a foster child nor do i have asthma so I can't speak on that, nor am I mixed race. I believe i do not and did not have depression at any point in my life, but there have been times when i felt like Anna did in the movie. I do relate to being a loner artist kid too. And to feeling misunderstood and alone even when surrounded by joyful kind people. To getting away, sitting alone and drawing. To not talking to my classmates. Also to how she was just expected to meet some girl she's never seen before from the town she just arrived in and hang out with her. Oof. My worst nightmare honestly. Anna seeing that artist lady painting and sketching next to her in like, silent artist solidarity is amazing. And i would also be drawn to a beautiful haunted(?) mansion. There's a scene where Nobuko compliments(?) Annas eyes saying they are blue like a foreigners, which is the last straw for her at that moment, since from what I've read being mixed race in Japan is difficult, but aside from that aspect (Not undermining it. I feel like I'm just not qualified to speak more on it) I also dislike people i don't know/like commenting on my appearance, though i bet everyone does to some extent. It was a really good scene also with Anna channeling that anger at Nobuko and insulting her to shift the attention on her appearance instead. And Nobuko is too forgiving i swear but It's also nice that they acknowledged that this was an emotional reaction and Anna apologized and Nobuko forgave her and all.

I relate to Marnie as well, in being neglected by your parents (not in the same way but still). Her story also reminds me of stories i've read/watched as a child. Like the secret garden kind of. Or barbie even. Bad comparisons but they just feel connected in some way, to me. Also I always love it when characters sneak out of their home to just frolick in nature etc. One of my favourite tropes.

Now there's the thing this movie is really gay, and they don't even hide it like Marnie and Anna literaly say "I love you" to eachother and Marnie calls Anna "Dearest" are you seeing this. Also all of their interactions just read as romantic, hell Anna is constantly blushing and they hug and dance and Marnie teaches Anna how to row a boat, just two girls hanging out in the forest in secret, zero feet apart, hugging and saying they love eachother CAUSE THEYRE GAY. Another thing to add to the relatable list I also want to fall in love with a ghost girl i hang around with in secret on a liminal summer vacation where responsibilities and everyday life and time don't matter PLEASE. I also relate to having like a childhood "best friend" situation. Well Marnie turning out to be the ghost/memory of Anna's grandmother makes it a bit weird. A lot weird. And it's not like the gayness was accidental there's no way. I knew of this twist before watching so i didn't feel utterly betrayed, but i am sad that this movie queerbaits you the whole time with a cottage core lesbian love story but alas. I choose to just accept that Anna has to live with the fact that her gay awakening was the ghost of her grandmother and that is really funny. But when you view their moments in isolation it's really sweet. Besides the story isn't about a romantic relationship, it's about how that relationship helped Anna. Also Marnie is like a ghost/memory thing. Not a real entity. Idk how to explain it. The whole thing was single moment in Annas life really. Not that it didn't matter but you know.

I'm not going to properly analyse the plot and Annas arc and stuff cause this is already too long but i do like it a lot and it was good ok? Again I can't speak on depression and being a foster child. But It was good.