New York City's Honest Truth

SPIDER-MAN SAYS GAY RIGHTS

SPIDER-MAN NEGATIVE INFLUENCE?! Many times it has been stated that the masked menace Spider-Man is a hero. But what is a hero? 

A hero is someone who does good for mankind. One who influences others to do better. Police, Firefighters, The X-Men, Captain America, Newspeople, and the like.

They inspire greatness to the benefit of society?

But what of Spider-Man?

In this photo taken of an urban youth, emblazoned with the visage of Spider-Man upon his shirt, you can see criminal action being inspired by someone who advocates the vigilante.

You’d never see someone who idolizes Captain America doing such heinous acts.

DOES THE CITY EVEN NEED A SPIDER-MAN?!

Newspaper mogul and all around good guy, J. Jonah Jameson has been seen to have been hitting the gym lately. Transforming his body, his arms are now considered lethal weapons. A buddy of mine saw J. Jonah Jameson in the shower, and he said J. Jonah Jameson had an 8-Pack. That J. Jonah Jameson is shredded. With this incredible change in physique, do we even need a Spider-Man? A man that wears a mask, one that we can’t trust? J. Jonah Jameson is a face you can trust. 

MASKED MENACE TO BLAME FOR GUARDIANS OF THE GLOBE?! Recently it has been reported that the superhero group The Guardians of the Globe had been brutally murdered in their home base. Daily Bugle Photographer Peter Parker has gone on record saying that Spider-Man hadn’t been seen during the murders. As Parker is the principal photographer of the masked menace, it can only be correctly assumed that the masked Menace Spider-Man is responsible for such heinous actions. A known loner, the webbed vigilante is not a member of the Guardians of the Globe and has never been seen to even interact with them.

Omni-Man, the most handsome superhero who sounds like many to believe what God would sound like, has this to say.