LIGHTNING TRAUMA.

aomine doesn’t usually bite his fingernails. it’s stupid, right, but he likes his teeth and was always told that biting his nails would wreck them. his mother had had braces, so what if he had to? so he doesn’t usually have the urge to. but when things are bad, everything is extra annoying. he stepped in a puddle and got a wet sock. no, OF COURSE he would step into a fucking dirty puddle in his NEW fucking sneakers and yellow the white fucking leather, and his fucking sock is wet! it’s so uncomfortable to work like this, it’s totally ruined his fucking mood! or he just caught a nail on something and it’s jagged, which just catches on more things. it has currently escalated to the point where, in his irritation at catching one nail on his clothes, he’s chewing them all down. it’s worse now. his mood deteriorates.

the trouble with basketball is that it’s a team sport. it requires interaction. and on these days, when basketball really is the only thing that can keep him from lying down anywhere and staring at the sky until he falls asleep, it doesn't take much to set him off. it's almost like he knows he doesn't deserve to be happy, to feel his effort strained, and he's waiting for someone to prove him right and piss him off.

the teiko lot have met up. since the game against the americans, they’ve been doing this more often. midorima’s being extra himself today, and aomine was sat next to him at the meal. all that bullshit about horoscopes and fate and how much better than everyone else he is. the motherfucker couldn't have been more annoying if he'd wanted to be. they got into an argument. midorima said something that was an attempt at a cutting remark about aomine inflicting his shitty mood on other people. sharing is caring, aomine had said in a half-assed attempt at a joke, believe it or not. he had been trying to keep the peace at that point. the joke didn’t land, and the situation dissolved into an argument. satsuki tried to remedy it with a change of topic, distracting midorima with a question when it was midorima’s turn to say something.

“nobody gives a fuck, satsuki,” aomine had snapped, then she’d retorted something pathetic, and the others told him to shut up himself. all this when akashi was absent from the table, naturally. the arguments didn’t last when he returned. not that akashi has anything like a calming aura about him, but arguments rarely continued when he was there to regulate them. go figure the green-haired ass kisser would explain the tense atmosphere with a pointed, “aomine has decided that his bad mood is everyone else’s problem.” which is super cool! aomine leaves before midofucker can embarrass himself any further.

cut to now, sitting on a wall a good mile away from that restaurant, a little bit lost and a lot miserable. he’s waiting until he’s bitten off the rest of the annoying tips of his nails, flicking discarded shards on the floor. he’s not listening to traffic or passers-by ( until he hears someone talking about roommates and he remembers that one video kagami translated into japanese and now he knows how to say they were roommates in half-passable english ). akashi enters his line of sight and aomine enters the present again. it’s a relief that the company isn’t satsuki, because she’d only want to talk about everyone's feelings and he doesn’t want to. doesn't care.

“satsuki finished talking about how shitty of a person i am?” she wouldn’t. or, she would, but she would temper it with the understanding and compassion of a lifelong friend. midorima would say it and mean it, which is why aomine isn’t joking about that.

"you're not a bad person," akashi replies, "you're just a little lost."

aomine doesn't betray that he even heard. his eyes remain averted as they were before, and his frown doesn't shift. it's sympathy, or empathy, or something like that. it doesn't matter. the teen feels exposed by the phrase, and really fucking tired.

"people say i was a nicer guy in teiko," aomine says eventually, kicking a shard of nail off his sneakers. he examines his muddied shoes as something to do, and lets his hand fall to rest upon the wall. his shoulders meet his ears in a slow shrug. "maybe we all were. 's funny," he knows not to say the following to the likes of akashi, but he does it anyway in search of a rise. aomine looks over at his ex-captain. "everyone says midorima has more of a heart now, so how come he's so fucking insufferable? like, jesus. shut the fuck up sometime."

@peachmuses

it has rained, it has snowed, and subsequently, it is now icy. maybe nijimura’s comment had been a reflex; he can’t help but watch out for the people he loves. ( and aomine knows that nijimura loves him. it may be questioned sometimes, tested, but he knows that the love has resilience because it is nijimura’s. ) aomine, however, also responds instinctively. on his arm is satsuki, whom is brushed off in favour of putting his hands behind his back.

now see, shuu is a big brother - he might not be the best big brother or even a wanted big brother ( suzume, somewhere screams in frustration ) but he is still a big brother. so automatically, his first response mentally is ‘what the hell who am i killing’ while his brain catchs onto the fact that taiga is also doing it. now, that sounds like aomine kinda did something huh ! “ what’d you do for them to gang up on you ? ” 

ryou pauses, stares at aomine for a good three minutes before he makes up his mind and straightens once decision is made , before he’s turning on his heels and walking off “ good bye, aomine-kun. ” 

“ no i am. ” he’s serious, dead serious actually. “ i don’t care about winning against seirin. ” which is wild for ryou to think about because at his core, he’s a perfectionist who only cares about winning and money. it’s what makes him such a good fit for a team full of bastards who also only care about winning. “ i need to be humbled? ” he questions, “ you need to be humbled and get your head out of your ass, aomine-kun! you’re the most selfish person i know and while i usually don’t care about your tendencies at all, i’m not dealing with it this time. show up and stay benched or don’t. and don’t count on my work to help you pass your classes this semester , i’m tired.  ” 

ryou pinches his nose. ( he knew going into this, it would go no where. ) eyes narrow even more and his head tilts as an idea pops into his mind and he rolls with it, “ next time we play seirin, you’re benched. i don’t even care if we lose. ” well, he kind of does, because of imayoshi but also, it’ll be fine. he knows that if he doesn’t show up to that, kagami will whine and complain about how his bf didn’t play. either way, ryou gets his revenge by annoying aomine. switching to korean, he lets out a string of curses in frustration, before switching seaminglessly back to japanese, “ i’d prefer for you to not lie to me actually. if you don’t care about playing, aomine-kun, then don’t play. but don’t expect to only be able to show up to your ex teammates and play them if you don’t put in the work for the players you don’t even notice. ”

ryou’s eyes narrow dangerously on the other’s face ( and if it was a cartoon, steam would be coming out of his ears. ) “ no. no we don’t need you to win but this isn’t freshman year. skipping games just because it’s ‘boring’ or it’s not against who you want to play is childish and i thought you were better than that. ” at least he knows aomine enough to know that shitty games means that it’s boring games and by boring games he means that he doesn’t get the rush unless it’s his old teammates. “ you’re still an integral part of our team. we make plans with you in mind. your substitute doesn’t play like you do and so that leaves us, ( momoi. ryou. wakamatsu. ) having to change the entire gameplay to accommodate the change last minute. ” wakamatsu would have had this talk with aomine, but he burned one of aomine’s porn mags and doesn’t want to go near him. momoi’s already talked to him – but how dare aomine just ‘hey ryou’ him. he breathes in. “ you skip games, you skip classes leaving me and momoi-chan to take notes and scramble to get you to pass and you don’t care ! ” 

yep. he doesn’t care about any of that. sure, it puts them out, but they have to push themselves to succeed. wakamatsu has to loosen up his leadership style, satsuki has to draw on her informant knowledge or whatever the fuck. the others, including ryou, have to focus. truthfully, daiki hasn’t given this enough thought to come to any kind of conclusion close to i’m doing them a favour, but he does think it’s character building not having him around. he can’t think of a single thing anybody can say to him that will make him change his mind on that, either. daiki’s expression confirms that he really, truthfully, honestly, sincerely does not give a shit. he has to laugh at the idea that ryou ever thought he was better than that, though. what’s given him that idea?

@peachmuses

“ shut up don’t talk to me. ” ryou is mad - worse than that he is pissed. actually, no, aomine can hear why he’s mad, he’s going to tell him. he’s changed his mind. he’s twisting around on his feet , and glaring up at the other. “ you got mad at me when i dipped out of a game that led to a fight and then disappeared. ” he’s talking about the fight between touou and kiriidaii, “ but then you don’t even bother showing up for an important game. at least with kiriidaii there was a reason i didn’t play. you just didn’t feel like showing up. ” / @daichansux 

@peachmuses​

you know, daiki thought but didn't say. he wants to let the moments laying beneath plastic stars cement themselves in his mind for a rainy day. if you moved that star a little to the left you'd have a constellation.

it's so quiet here. the aomine family were all night-owls. when dad was on the day shifts, his mother would stay up watching trash tv until he came home. daiki had stopped staying up deliberately. maybe part of why he never falls asleep early is because he was listening for the door to unlock and for tired footsteps to drag through the hallway. or maybe it was because his mom has the tv on way too loud and he can hear the chat shows with almost perfect clarity. in any case, at the sakurai household, he isn't tired. he's relaxed. fully relaxed. like he's lying in a hot bath in an empty house. no sounds. nothing but himself and his thoughts. this is better, though, because at any second he could lean over and kiss his boyfriend.

daiki held ryou's hand between them. he couldn't not be touching him. his thumb brushes thoughtfully across ryou's knuckles. it's been raining a lot recently, but would ryou like to go camping sometime and see the real stars? boy, daiki would love that. it's something they could do that doesn't involve basketball. plus! daiki could fish and ryou could cook up a delicious dinner! what could be better?

these thoughts are abandoned as ryou speaks. daiki did look over, turning only his head on the pillow to watch him speak, but he comes to regret it. he knows as soon as he hears the word mentality that he's about to get read for filth. speaking so sincerely, daiki is in for a ride, he just knew it. his eyes snap back to the ceiling and his hand freezes. tenses. his cheeks heat up. is that true? maybe. he doesn’t feel a firm divide between himself and his basketball skills, so he cannot imagine himself without them. there is no daiki without basketball. doesn’t that mean the argument is void? or is that somehow worse, that if he woke up tomorrow and for whatever reason, could not play again, he would not be aomine daiki? well, what good is he to the team if he can’t play? that’s those friends gone, if indeed they count as friends. satsuki would still be there because she was there before basketball, she doesn’t even really have a choice about it now. but the others? the other ex-generation of miracles? well, he wouldn’t even want to see them. not with their bad attitudes and indomitable skills. for half a second in this scenario, he fully understands the pain of players who he has made quit before. those who played for fun and not seriously-- or, worse, those who played seriously but could never dream of being as good as him. how many people’s dreams has he crushed in his short lifetime? it doesn’t bear thinking about.

daiki has been quiet for some time now. ryou must have known this would trigger some deep introspection. his grip is relaxed, and he realises that all the while he had been thoughtfully stroking his thumb across ryou’s hand still. daiki doesn’t think about ryou’s skill that much. he’s very good, of course, and he loves seeing him play, but if he woke up one day and decided to quit basketball, they’d still go out. he’d be bewildered, but ryou is more than his basketball, and he’s more than his art, and he’s more than his grades. thinking about it like this is easier. ryou is very likeable, whereas daiki is (deliberately) not. he rolls around in place so that he can rest his head on ryou’s chest and listen to his heartbeat, draping his arm across his body.

@peachmuses

he hears tetsu speak before he knows what’s going on, and raises his gaze from his shopping list to see his friend cradling onions. of course his initial reaction is what the fuck, but then he squawks a laugh, disregarding the pitch change in his voice, and thumps tetsu on the shoulder.