the word bed actually looks like one

I guess what I don't understand fundamentally is why when I kiss and grope her tits, she doesn't wanna grope mine back... Like I know she likes it when I grab her hips and trace over her panties but what I'm not getting is why she wouldn't consider I also want to be grabbed a little too. Honestly I think I'm so sweet and agreeable bc I wish she'd be a little meaner and lash out at me some. I'm so dumb and pathetic tbh, like it's astonishing what I'm capable of posting online but not being able to tell my partner of eight years. A world of strangers online can know my business and literally see my asshole but I'm too afraid to tell her about how I want to be fucked. I mean at least I stopped fantasizing about my coworker even though the crush is still fizzling out. Mostly though I just feel lonely, like there's really nobody I can talk to. Tbh I was having more fun when random straight guys were dming me since at least it was somebody to talk to, even if they're all creeps.

I would melt, die and go to heaven if for one night she pretended to be dominant and teased me for a while until I was begging for her to take my clothes off and fuck me. Or honestly even just a moment of dominance like physically moving me to a better position would set me off. Any amount of physical dominance would probably instantly have me soaked but especially if it was restraining somehow.