The Legend of Dagga Groin

On a shy boy’s matric dance day He hoped things would go his way Groin said, “Don’t be afraid, for tonight you’ll get laid. Just stop asking her, ‘Are you okay?’

A hero fighting for humanity with +3 arrows of broccoli Glorious locks of kale Veggie bod like chainmail He puts the “High” in “High Fantasy”

Dagga Groin really loves his test cricket Every year buying a season ticket He meets up with Gibbs Burns Mary Jane twigs Then shows up early to kiss the wicket

While chilling with my favourite rasta I cooked a delicious ragù pasta Adding a Fry’s soya patty and a fatty-boom-batty we played chess while we listened to Busta

Burning zol off his big green phallus He goes to his cloudy mind palace Plays a T.V. game Then forgets why he came Basking in aurora borealis

A miracle of modern botany Living with late symptoms of leprosy Packs spears like an Athenian and blends in like a chameleon if he picks up his own anatomy

A dark and murky origin story Starting life in a laboratory Escaping from home With weed for a dome Bats and bowls like Daniel Vettori

When it comes to care, he gets plenty Slamming monsters till they’re empty For a really thick stem He naps through the A.M. Commencing each day at 4:20

With onion skin that doubles as paper His hands as steady as a watchmaker The best you’ve ever blown Wide as an ice-cream cone Dragon puffing the thickest vapour.

The wife and I couldn’t have a baby The doctor said the problem was me He prescribed me Groin’s goef To Jah bless my spoef And now we have a family of three.

Crafting a clutch from a MTN dongle He’s a modern day rastafari Womble Sifting through garbage For treasure to salvage He pulls bong through a Fanta grape bottle.

Living in sewers like a Ninja Turtle His crotch as spicy as Oregon myrtle But with no ninja skill Besides keeping things ill And knowing that time is a flat circle.

While sharing a bowl of devil’s lettuce Dagga Groin pulled up to bless us He told us “hop in” And with a warm grin Said “This is your Magic Zolbus”

A dark figure approached incognito And slipped a gift through my car window It said “my brother, stay brave, And smoke this to vaporwave” A life saved with that fat joint of indo

My stash of sweet leaf was all but done I wished at night that dagga would come I woke up and found What was almost a pound and heard him whisper “I got you son”

While visiting his favourite client He impressed by rolling a trident Burnt it full throttle Then got horizontal Watching both seasons of Human Giant

Out jolling, and he got my attention By offering bud to break the tension After klapping a bong Crushed off his dong He vanished with no further mention.