JUST LAUGHS. NO STRESS.

If colleges didn’t get paid until their graduates got paid, colleges would work a lot harder to get their graduates high paying jobs.

date me

will there be potato 

7 whole potato

we ride at midnight. bring potato

A while back I heard my friend (male) insult another dude by saying, “You look like the kind of guy who wouldn’t go to Wal-Mart to buy his girlfriend a box of tampons” and I still think about that crowning insult sometimes

My dad once called another guy “someone who thinks loading the dishwasher once in a while makes him less of a man”

I like your dad already

one time my dad’s boss was giving him shit for always leaving work early so he could get home and help my mom with me when i was a newborn and his boss said “i’ve never changed a diaper in my life” really proudly and my dad responded “i’d be ashamed to ever admit i was that worthless of a husband”

oh WOW

This is by far my most popular post.

@indigopersei is the french language just always on the verge of getting someone accused of assault or..?

my friend, if only you knew

It’s a very dangerous language to learn

truly the language of love

i went to the gym today and there was a guy going to TOWN on the punching bags so i asked him “rough night?” and he said “my wife’s on a business trip and i miss her” and if that isnt the most steve rogers thing in the world idk what is

This will always be my favorite gifset. Ever.

im morally obligated to reblog this every time i see it

I REMEMBER LAUGHING SO HARD AT THIS IT’S BACK

I’ve never seen this before until now but it’s going on my blog

[Have some Reese-Level-Puns.]

lmao crabs…. they just go snip

thats his decision and i respect it

Do you know how long I sat here waiting for this to load

y’all saved my smug child