THE CAKE WAS TRUE
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@daemonerik
THE CAKE WAS TRUE
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Loved No Rest for the Wicked! I was wondering if Emilia does something to help her knight through his bad dreams? If it weren't for Otto or Beatrice she would still be unaware that Subaru was in pain while sleeping! She can't have that now.
Initially Emilia would try to take matters into her own hands! Literally. The first few nights she just goes to his room and holds his right hand while Beatrice holds the other. She can get some studying done in the meantime, so it's no biggie.
Emilia quickly finds out she can't stay for too long though, one time... well, she might have gotten a bit too cozy. Subaru woke up to the sight of the most beautiful angel lying right next to him, looking into his eyes and searching for any signs of discomfort. "Are you oh-kie Subaru?" Subaru just closed his eyes and accepted that he had permanently died. Not bothering to think about or listen to anything anymore. Surely this was it, heaven. It took Roswaal whispering in his ear an hour later for Subaru to realize that this was still the hell he had grown so used to.
They needed a more permanent solution, Emilia-sama could not spend so much time just reading next to Subaru. Emilia pouts as her "I could" went ignored. And so, the whole camp starts bringing him things that would help him relax during his sleep: The best blankets and pillows money could buy, a nice collection of relaxing incenses, they ask Roswaal to cast a noise cancelling spell on his room, Petra even comes up with a new clothing concept! Very soft and loose clothes whose only purpose was relaxing on a bed, she would name them- "Hey are those pajamas?!" ...Ok well, they are pajamas now. She also made a cloth that would go on top of his eyes, blocking out any annoying light when Subaru tried to sleep, she would name it- "And is that a sleep mask?!" ... I guess she won't be naming anything then...
The next morning Subaru came out of his room looking reeeeally well rested, it worked! "I slept like a baby yesterday -" That's good, babies with Subaru's illness probably don't sleep TOO long, it should be about the quality of sleep, not the quantity. "- 12 whole hours! That's gotta be a new record".
That night Subaru walked into his room only to find a single blanket on the cold hardwood floor.
(Pay no mind to the not so sneakily added EmiSuba fluff, also ignore the fact that I went back to give it a reread and he apparently already has pajamas, frick)
"—A bedtime story?" Emilia tilts her head, amethyst eyes wide with curiosity. "What's that, and how does it help someone fall asleep?"
The moment the words leave her lips, she straightens her back, resolve sparking in her chest. Whatever it is—she's going to do it! Subaru has done so much for her, for everyone in the camp. If something as simple as a story can ease his sleep, then she’ll give it her all. Pajama parties, extra blankets, fluffier pillows, holding his hand until morning—nothing is too much if it's for her one and only knight.
But then Subaru hesitates before answering and her heart clenches.
He always insists that Otto and she take his comments out of context, but Emilia knows better. If anything, Subaru himself doesn’t realize just how much he’s suffering.
So now he chooses his words carefully, with the continued length of his deliberation making her uneasy.
"...Ah, so that's why you asked," Subaru smiles in understanding after a few seconds before crossing his arms. "A bedtime story is a story read to a child before bed to help them fall asleep. They aren't really for adults so it wouldn't help me, but I really appreciate the sentiment, Emilia-tan."
"... Did you get those when you were younger?"
Subaru nods. "Mom would read me the same dusty book about japa— ah uhm, about folklore from my hometown all the time," he snorts before sighing. "It was such a bore, but I guess that was the point. Sleeping was funnier than listening to the story of Kaguya for the tenth time in a row."
Emilia's lips turn downwards. "And children don't like falling asleep alone because they don't know what they will dream about, correct?"
The word dream tastes bad in her mouth. According to her dictionary, dreams are things you crave—a cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal. To Subaru though, the word is more tangible, and could be used pejoratively. Nightmares are bad dreams, and as they have recently discovered, Subaru has lots of those.
Subaru narrows his eyes. "Yeah but it's nothing that serious, Emilia-tan! Children are afraid of their own shadow. I'm waaaaay past that age."
"Mhm. Your kin's children don't know who can enter their room while they are sleeping. Their fears are reasonable."
"I can't help but fear Emilia-tan is overthinking it—and as I already told Rem, no one is allowed to watch me sleep." Subaru scowls, and his gaze sharpens. “I don’t know what kind of bizarre conclusion you’ve jumped to, but I can guarantee it’s completely wro—”
"It's okay," Emilia forces a smile—a mask of cheerfulness that she now knows Subaru wears quite often too, when he finds himself unable to rest. "When we met, I thought I didn't need to know anything about your culture. You were weird, but nice. Why you were like that was none of my business. I just wanted to enjoy it."
Subaru narrows his eyes. Experience tells her that he is waiting for a metaphorical bomb to explode. Sometimes, even literal.
"—But I guess I'm greedier than I thought I was. Because I want to know everything there is to know about you. Because I want to help you better. Because that's my dream, too."
"Emilia-tan...you…" Subaru’s eyes widen, his breath catching in his throat, as his cheeks also start to redden.
So, even he could be caught off guard. Emilia’s lips turn upwards. "A hundred years is barely a blink of an eye in the eyes of an elf, therefore—I'm barely a child myself!"
And Subaru's delighted smile drops. "That's not... That's not what a man wants to hear his crush say at all!"
But she hasn't finished talking, yet. "—so, will you read me a bedtime story?" She claps her hands together.
Subaru’s lips part, and slowly, they also shift into a smile.
“As usual, I can't just refuse Emilia-tan…”
After that day, a new tradition began at the Mathers Manor. Each night, when the sun dipped below the horizon and darkness settled in, Emilia would sit in Subaru’s room, listening intently as he read her old myths from his homeland—or at least, the ones he remembered.
Then, Beatrice joined. And the next night, Garfiel did too.
And by the end of the week, the entire camp gathered for the reading, though Subaru insisted Ram only did it because she wanted to slack off from work.
If Frederica sees her yell victory in the garden after Subaru goes one entire week without nightmares, she doesn't mention it.
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beta read by @daemonerik
This would've been out like a week earlier if I didn't forget it existed
Fanfics That Altered My Brain Chemistry (In No Particular Order)
(Last Updated Dec. 1, 2024)
these will mostly be multi-chapter fics from ao3 bc if I included one-shots this would be too long and my quotev and wattpad libraries exist from a dark pre-ao3 period in my life and therefore are lawless lands better kept between me and god
note: these will primarily be oc x canon or x reader bc it is my preferred genre of fanfiction so if that’s not your vibe then this may not be for you
i tried to give proper credit to the authors as best i could but not all of them had socials i could find so please let me know if there's anyone i miss!
also make sure you read the tags of these stories as there are definitely some potentially triggering topics in some of them. i'll try and cover some important ones in this list but i may miss a few
Yo, editor for Oregano is for Savages here. The rollercoaster continues, new chapter out
It's back!
Re:Zero Chronological Order
Re:Zero Chronological Order of all Novels and Side Stories. Can be treated like a timeline of events. I probably made some mistakes, so let me know if you spot some. Arc 9+ spoiler warning https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/11e-hZ5pf7FyINDF-GkZiOBoD13lu9mqBW9xm4wE1UB8/edit?pli=1&gid=0#gid=0

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In a certain rerepeating universe... (Rezerofanweek final day)
Warning: some minor arc 9 spoilers at the very end (and obviously what comes before arc 9 lol)
-
“—Hey, test test… Seems to be working well enough.”
With the sound of the Man’s voice echoing across the entire Watergate City, all remaining citizens who were still wandering around ran towards their homes or shelters.
“Alright, so! Hello everyone! This is a message to the Sin Archbishops of the Witch Cult. And to make it clear, I am referring to you, Regulus Corneas, Sirius Romanée-Conti and Capella Emerada Lugunica.”
Moments after the broadcast ceased, the three incarnations of Sins—along with other unrecognizable cloaked figures—surrounded the city hall. Whether they were enraged or intrigued by the Man’s provocations, it didn’t matter. The trap had already sprung.
“I am aware of the reasons you have come to this city. I am also aware of the plans each of you have set to fulfill your desires and personally, so let’s just cut to the chase. The Silver Maiden, Tome of Wisdom and the Witch’s Bones are in my possession. If you don’t come the minute this message ends, I will incinerate the two latter, followed by me eloping with the Maiden away, never to be seen again.” A soft giggle akin to silver bells could be heard at the end of the Man’s ultimatum.
Before the offended Greed had any chance to share his outrage and respond to the disrespect he was forced to suffer on the city hall, the Sword Saint came down like a lightning bolt and kicked Greed into the air; following him shortly right after. A clash between infinite power and immovable force began to echo across Priestella’s skies.
“This is not an empty threat; I couldn’t care less for these mcguffins even if I wanted to. So unless you come and stop me, your lives will keep being unfulfilled and everything you’ve done up to this would’ve been entirely pointless. I’d usually apologize for being so direct, but I think I’ve lied enough for multiple lifetimes.”
Not giving the other Sin Archbishops time to process what had happened, a beam made from the techniques of the Valkyrie, Finest Knight and Court Mage came down on Lust, tearing her form apart into little chunks of flesh. However, before the body could restore itself as it had for decades upon decades, the pavement on which she lay broke apart, sending what remained of her into the deep depths of the Watergate City.
“Some of you might be thinking, ‘Who the hell does this guy think he is’. Well, to put it simply, I’m the one behind the demise of the White Whale, Great Rabbit and the one who personally slayed the Archbishop of Sloth.”
Enraged by all that had taken place, Wrath unleashed her chains to set the City Hall and all that surrounded it ablaze—only for the Sun Princess and her Yang blade to descend from the upper floor and intercept the twin strike, using the chains momentum to launch herself towards the Archbishop.
“I could list more and more, but in the end none of that matters. I’m aware enough to admit that at the end of the day, I’m not that special of a person. Like, if even a single Cultist Grunt got a good hit on me, I’d be dead within seconds. With cards like that I should’ve despaired eons ago… If I wasn’t constantly reminded by someone for whom I continue going on again and again. And unfortunately, I can’t remember a single moment where I was alone long enough for that not to be the case.”
Ignoring or not being aware of how their leaders were blind sided, the other Witch Cultists dashed towards the City Hall, showing not a single care for their empty lives. Unknown to them, Warriors of Lower and Higher standing were already waiting for their arrival—Mercenaries from across the West, Guardians of this very City and even a Disgraced Knight that was forced to fight—they all cut the Cultists down for good.
“To all of you hiding in your homes or shelters, I’m sorry for putting the city at risk. If I could’ve taken this battle to anywhere besides Priestella, I would’ve. I really wish I could’ve. However…”
While the likes of the Sword Demon and Former Sword Saint exchanged a dance reminiscent of the past, as well as the Failed Shield and Finest Knight proving their skill to the Former War God, the temperature surrounding the City Hall dropped by several tens of degrees. Seconds after, a beam of pure concentrated blue and white shot out of the upper floor directly towards the third district of Priestella.
“None of you will die. I, Natsuki Subaru, promise that to all of you. So stay safe, be with those around you, and leave it all to me!”
Yet, instead of hitting the center of the district like anyone would expect, the beam of magic crashed into the Control Tower of the district, instantly freezing the entire structure to its very core… and any life that was within. Five seconds after the deed had passed, above the skies of the raging battlefield, Greed’s heart contorted as the Archbishop gasped for air for the first time in centuries.
"So now, Witch Cult, stop wasting everyone's time. You have taken enough of mine.”
Not suffering from exhaustion or any drunk distractions, the Sword Demon let his blade convey all the love that had festered for 15 years and finally uttered the words he had never been able to say. At the same time, the Failed Shield and Finest Knight managed to find an opening in the Former War God’s technique, proving their skill to the legendary warrior. Guided by the wind, their ashes spread across the battlefield and left this world.
“You hideous disgusting beasts that make me sick when looking at you,”
Being kept in check by the Following Star, Lust was forced to regenerate over and over—while also dealing with advanced magics from the Court Mage above—not being given a chance to retaliate. In the end, thanks to the efforts of the Valkyrie, Blue and Great Merchant, the City Hall’s flooding mechanism activated, drowning the Archbishop with the same method that took another Witch in the past. Only by splitting herself into a nearly infinite number of microorganisms—that managed to pass right through the stone walls of the magically sealed waterlogged chamber—was Lust able to escape her watery prison and left the Watergate City.
“You monsters that no one has ever loved or will ever care for in the future,”
Shrieking about the cruelness and misfortune the world had brought her, Wrath tried igniting the hearts of everyone present ablaze, yet the Sun Princess cut her off at every turn, scorching her every attempt. Disgusted by the Archbishop’s pathetic self, the Sun deemed her existence to have run its course. With a final slash, Wrath’s suffering burned away and left this world.
“You sad miserable people, where the more I learn about you, all I feel is pity.”
With his heart returned and no Silver Maiden to marry in sight, Greed thought of desperate ways to escape his looming fate. Yet even that wasn’t awarded to him. Beyond the sixth second of the Archbishop’s beating heart, the Sword Saint did as he was ordered. With a single punch, rupturing through flesh and bone, the Saint’s arm grabbed hold of the heart and with a single squeeze erased it from existence. Falling down from the heavens to the ash littered field, Greed’s words blew away and left this world.
“Come to me,”
Black Pendant in hand, the Man hadn’t bothered watching the spectacle unfold. With the sequence already perfected 7000 tries ago, his attention was aimed on what lay still ahead. Gazing at the helmet worn by the Following Star—who had emerged from the depths of the Watergate City—their eyes connected for just a moment, as the final act of the Battle for Priestella would commence.
“Your natural enemy!"
-
IITS FINALLY DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE11111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Originally i wanted this thing to be 5 times longer and have more focus on Al, along with it being for day 6... but realized I started too late. Hope this is fine enough. Might one day finish the full one shot and post on ao3
Anyway, SEASON 3 DROP IN LESS THAN 2 HOURS (from when i'm posting this)!!! EXCITEMENT!
Reinhard and Felt Role Swap for @deafknell's fanweek: Day 2
Your brother is your god (a joshua juukulius poem)
You are who you cling to; god
is in the pristine refinement of the knight
where your only claim to family is crafting him, detail by painstaking detail, until he’s a proper heirloom
to make up for the fresh apples you cannot bite,
to make up for your stain on the face of your brother,
you are a forgettable person attached to an unforgettable name.
Did you think that because you were born into this that you’re deserving of that name?
The only existing god
is in the form of your finest accomplishment; elder brother
is the picture perfect knight,
a dog who serves well and does not bite
at the hand feeding him and carving him into an heirloom
fit to join every heirloom
that came before you. Him. Your hands shake as you cough up exertion blood and your name
back into your handkerchief, bite
down the longing for a god
who could make you so good that you have no need for a knight
always leaving you behind for lofty ideals. Your brother
is your hero, your brother
casts a light so stark that all you can do is cower in the darkness that is his heirloom,
his right to the path of a knight
that should have been yours, as your name
decreed, but you were born frail and so your brother picked up your burden for you. Your brother is your god
so this is why apples taste sweet when he picks them for you, but just as bitter when you bite
into the rottenness of being only his brother. You bite
into your brother
like that could make you a god:
Something worth saving, something sword-heirloom
sharp in its acceptable sort of way, a perfect portrait paired with that name
heavy on your shoulders like the armor of a knight.
And yet your brother is the greatest knight
because out of the two of you, who’s the one who saved the family from your bite
marks? You must never forget that as much as you made him, he’s the one carrying the crown of that name,
the one who saved you from being the sad, useless heir, so instead you are the sad, useless second brother
who is only there to stay behind to prop up the true heirloom
because there is no god
without you, and thus your knight is your apple is your brother
is your bite scar is your bed grave is your heirloom
and when the pearly floodgates make way—if you have no name, what is a dog to a god?
—
welp, hello!! wrote this for @deafknell ‘s rezero season 3 part 1 fanweek for the day 1 prompt: Memories / Rivalry / “—Shut up and put on your war face.” (this poem also couldve fit for the Names prompt later in the week but shhh.) joshua is a character ive really come to love especially the more i found out about his story and especially with having people like deafknell as beloved mutuals who enjoy him a lot and portray him beautifully!! so i hope ive done him justice his story hurts my heart 🙏🙏
also if youre curious—this is probably so juukulius coded of me to say this wjdnd—but this poem is a sestina poem which has a really unique structure of repeating six words (though i did repeat a few others but yes i stuck closely to the sestina structure) in certain places!! here i used god, knight, heirloom, bite, brother, and name!! really recommend googling about sestina poems if youre curious!! ive really grown to be fond of poetry as well. <3
Does a god die when no more believers remain
Following on from my previous poll, and in the wake of the season 3 air date announcement, I've decided to push back the fanweek to welcome in the new season!
From 26th September to 2nd October, you'll have a series of prompts to choose from for each day up to the first episode release. Feel free to participate in as many or as few days as you like! Character analysis, fanart, fic drabbles, poetry---anything is welcome.
Fanweek prompts and rules down below:
It's here.
After months of our diligent work together, Re:Zero zine is finally finished — and free to download for everybody.
43 art pieces. 10 pieces of fanfiction. 157 pages. All can be found right here, at your tap of your finger.
Thank you, everyone. Feel our love from the pages.

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Echidna
Satella and Subaru
Satella and Subaru
Joshua Juukulius’ Careful Fourth Encyclopedia
The day Reinhard crossed Julius' path it was the most important day of his life. For Reinhard it was tuesday
The one hated by the world VS The one loved by the world
AL VS REIN! ART IS SO GOOD I COULD DIE!

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If you thought arc 8 ending was sad already...
EMILIA-TAN!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You put your hand on the book near you, on its old leather cover. It's warm — astoundingly so. The words inside tickle your fingertips, begging your mind to listen, and you can sense the deepest sorrow in every line of ink. Be cautious! It's Zeivira!