Since You've Been Gone

at Colorado Springs, Colorado https://www.instagram.com/p/CWzpcGEsaD9/?utm_medium=tumblr

Happy Thanksgiving, Little Bear. I love you so much. Thinking about last year's Thanksgiving. Everything was really the greatest version when it was with you. I'm trying my best everyday. It's just really hard being alone. I'm really lost without you. I have nobody. My neighboring building caught fire. I lost Ye-Tah. I fell down today and hurt my leg. My Uber Eats meal broke through the bag and broke on the sidewalk. I'm training an idiot at work. I've been dissociating a lot in the shower , panicking at night, and spiraling in depression before work. Can't get in to see a doctor. People have been really cruel to me lately, honey. It's so hard to keep holding on. Fix You started playing on a commercial during the football game, and I literally started crying at work. I'm never gonna stop loving you for as long as I live. I really hope you're free and happy. I think about how much better I could've been everyday, and it kills me that I lost you. There truly will never be another. I know that. It's abundantly clear to me that nobody will ever love me again. I pray for you every night, my love. Wish you were here. Wish I could go back. #ILoveYou #IMissYou #IForgiveYou #DoYouEverThinkOfMe 💚💚💚 (at Colorado Springs, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWuqL1mrJxX/?utm_medium=tumblr

Happy Halloween, sweetheart. #LittleBear #ILoveYou #IMissYou (at Colorado Springs, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CVty8Iysjd7/?utm_medium=tumblr

Happy birthday, babygirl... (at Colorado Springs, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CVSgDSIrfJx/?utm_medium=tumblr

Proud of you, baby... Miss you so much. (at Colorado Springs, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CVOmG47M3HH/?utm_medium=tumblr

Ill always love you. (at Colorado Springs, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CVCnjXxLwaP/?utm_medium=tumblr

This COVID is really kicking my butt. I hope that you're healthy and safe, my love. I'm sorry that Daddy's not there to take care of you, like I should be. Really sorry that I wasn't enough for you. I really tried my best. Not a moment goes by where I don't wish I could make everything right for u. Really pray that whomever's arms your in rn, you're happy and well. Please, be okay. Please.... That's all I want from life. (at Colorado Springs, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CVCnUxgLAtP/?utm_medium=tumblr

I'm sorry that I never built you a treehouse, Little Bear... (at Colorado Springs, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CVCTyz4MHml/?utm_medium=tumblr

Sunny #Family (at Colorado Springs, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CUZgqGar_-b/?utm_medium=tumblr

Chlora #Family (at Colorado Springs, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CUUfhKkrgFv/?utm_medium=tumblr

i miss u so much sweetheart. Ill always love you. Nothing can cope with the absence of the joy of being yours. I should be taking care of you. Feels like yesterday I was cooking for you. Never not thinking of u. I see ur name on the mail everyday, but its always just car insurance ads, debt collectors, or real estate junk. You're still on the checking account we set up. I miss you and your strong stubbornness. I miss your knives. What id do for u to even be angry at me rn--to even think of me. (at Colorado Springs, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CT9OzfdL5nP/?utm_medium=tumblr

I miss u so much. (at Colorado Springs, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CT1ciEaL4A7/?utm_medium=tumblr

#ILoveYou #LittleBear #IMissYou #ToDreamTheImpossibleDream #Poem (at Colorado Springs, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTbphgbLB83/?utm_medium=tumblr

Miss u so much (at Colorado Springs, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTU9hWqlTho/?utm_medium=tumblr

I know there's a universe where all is alright with babygirl and me. All I pray is that--when I drift off momentarily--I get to see through the lens into that universe and bathe in that bliss, if only just for a moment... #ImSorry #IllAlwaysLoveYou #IDontWantToDoThis #WhyDidYouGo #ImScaredMommy #WouldYouBeProud #Please (at Colorado Springs, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTPQ8anLgf5/?utm_medium=tumblr

why did u go honey (at Colorado Springs, Colorado) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTK6K_vgaeM/?utm_medium=tumblr