Jo

one time in high school my french teacher told the class that his grandmother died and a kid in the class said “je regrette :(“ and the french teacher burst out laughing and was like “you’re gonna wanna say desolé in this context because je regrette means like…. my bad”

You're laughing, he confessed to your grandmothers murder and you're laughing.

It’s my grandpa’s birthday next week and he said “I don’t want to be 85” and my grandmother, his wife of 59 and a half years, said “well your only alternative is to die”, I can’t believe how affectionate they are

I was having lunch with them today and my grandpa started throwing napkins at my grandmother, and she balled it up and looked all set to throw it back but then she put it down and said “I will not throw it because I was brought up properly, you were dragged” she has spent ¾ of her life with this man

Bless your grandparents, maximum relationship goals

this is a giraffe

The only bitterness you need today is the delicious bitter taste of red wine and dark chocolate

what if i was evil and ran torwards you at very fast speeds

My arms are strong, I would catch you ands hug you

sorry for not responding i just dont have the mental capacity to hold a conversation anymore

[[adopting a baby]] “aww she’s so adorabl— wait when was she born?” “may 30th” “a gemini? hell no. what are my other options ??”

i want a soft connection. i want to be asked how my day went and if i need anything. i want forehead kisses. i want the back of my hand kissed at red lights. i want to be asked how i’m mentally feeling. i want to hold hands everywhere we go. i want romantic gestures. i want my hair played in at the most unexpected moments. i want silent eye connections that lead to smiles. i want to take random walks.

I love saying “of course” instead of “you’re welcome,” like of course I’m helping you that’s what I do, you were foolish to even consider an alternate dimension in which I’m not helping you. you idiot. you absolute buffoon.

hi sorry for ghosting you im being tormented by psychic horrors beyond your wildest comprehensions