instead of a brain there is a mini haunted house in my head

i hate the “watch a movie” suggestion when i say im bored b*tch shut up i have adhd 😭😭😭😭😭😭 i need to drink motor oil

date a girl who teleports around the room erratically when she gets anxious

Bitch that’s an enderman

date an enderman

haven’t done anything stupid yet today but i’m sure i’ll think of something

(clears my throat and stands at a podium) cock

big bang theory is awful for obvious reasons but honestly shout out to them for inventing “bazinga” so i have a word i can drop into any conversation for a one-hit kill

“Bazinga” and “everypony” are the closest we will get to real-world dragon shouts.

*secretes radioactive sludge*

Please don’t I just cleaned the floors :(

Oh sorry *leafs*

Leafs and sludge? Why are you doing this?

There's something wrong with me