Cydnie-Naomi

Answering a Few Worries

I’ve heard worries from people regarding my non-binary identity, seeing the GIC, etc… And I want to answer those worries, because I actually find they hurt me. A lot. (more…)

The Day Before… It’s 28th February, around 11:00… I’m debating making a cup of green tea, when my mobile starts ringing.  To my surprise, it’s someone from the Gender Identity Clinic.  At first, I expect bad news (yes, yes, I’m a pessimist!) – but moments later I’m told there’s “a short notice appointment available… Tomorrow at 2PM”.  Naturally, I said I would be delighted, and started sobbing.…

I've been meaning to write for a little while (and to do a vlog), but I've been caught up in quite a number of things.

But anyway, as of the 14th January, I've been on HRT for eight months. There have been a number of changes over the months, including changes in medication.  For me, the most important part is how I feel - and I feel wonderful.

Recently I had blood taken, to check various things such as liver function, serum testosterone, serum oestradiol, CBC, etc.  I nearly cried when I read the following results:

Serum Testosterone: 0.7 nmol/L (female average: < 2.0)

Serum Oestradiol: 183 pmol/L

Naturally, I want the Serum Oestradiol levels to be higher (around 300 pmol/L). But that Serum T level is fantastic.

My medication has been quite a variety.  I started on 100mcg EVOREL oestradiol patches with 5mg Finasteride as an anti-androgen via GenderGP.co.uk (private GP service for transgender individuals).  Within two weeks, I moved to 2mg Climaval tabs (still on Finasteride as AA).  Around September 2016, I switched to DIYing.  This took the form of 100mg Spironolactone, coupled with 4mg Progynova.  DIYing lasted around 2 months, before I went back onto private HRT (this time Sandrena gel [3x1mg sachets daily] and Finasteride).

In December, I managed to get my GP to put me on a bridging prescription.  Currently I am on 3x1mg Sandrena gel sachets, with 100mg Cyproterone Acetate a day.  Given my bloodwork, I will be looking to push my Cypro dosage down to 50mg, Sandrena gel to 4x1mg.  I'm also debating asking to be put on a trial prescription of 5mg Provera (or other brand of Progesterone).

My mood has improved a lot.  Sure, I have mood swings, and I still deal with depression - but one of the biggest elements of that (not being out as non-binary, being comfortable with myself and my gender, etc) has gone.  Well, I say that, but I am still misgendered constantly (and physically, I'm still disgusted with myself).  But my family know about me, as do my friends - and they're all wonderfully supportive.  I've also started swimming again - I go every two weeks, on a Wednesday.  It's ran by Trans Swimming Brighton.  I made more friends there too, and I throughly enjoy being able to swim without the worry of being perceived as something I'm not.  Plus what's not fun about water dodgeball, right?

Physical changes are slowly creeping in too.  I believe fat distribution is under way (though I've yet to see any difference in regard to my face - but that could be due to subtlety).  Breast development/growth is also happening - part of the reason I'm going to ask to trial Provera is mostly due to what I've heard from others I talk to that it's made a difference there.  It seems to be similar to Vaniqa cream in regard to effectiveness: Works for some, not for others.  Worth a go though, right?

As much as I feel pretty low in regards to turning 31 soon (the realisation that I'll be definitively on the unstoppable march toward middle age, and being reminded that I've only truly been living as/being myself for the last year - that for a quarter of my life, I've been essentially an imposter to myself, stuck in a world where I suppressed myself, hid away, etc.), I'm also happy because I'm on the right path now.  And as more progress is made (getting my first GIC appointment, and so on), the happier I'm going to get.  I may get to see myself how I should do by the time I hit 40. I can but hope.