~Elizabeth~

medieval peasant walking into a cathedral: okay wig

remember when lady gaga designed the official cover for judas in microsoft word and then took a picture of the screen with her blackberry for texture

if ur dealing to the people on the left you’d just say “$45 a gram” and theyd be like “yeah bro sure dude i gotchu thats legitness ur the man” but the ppl on the right u gotta finesse like “my normal price is $15 a g but this stuff is called Cosmic Throat Cum Squirt Haze so the lowest i can go is $50″ and theyd b like “wow… so cultured… i cant wait to smoke this out of my native american themed bong…”

finally some accuracy on this post

not to sound too millennial here but it annoys me so much when I’m at a restaurant and someone I’m with will complain about the service being slow like buddy pal it’s fine it’s not that important

You didn’t waited 40 minutes for a dinner before haven’t you?

i have but i also have, like, real problems

I waited well over an hour for food once at IHOP, because it kept coming out inedible. We finally asked what was going on, and it turns out that the ONLY cook had been working for 36 hours straight with only a short nap. I ordered the easiest thing to make, tipped the waitress heavily, and sent her back to the cook with a $10 tip for them, too, AFTER watching the 24-hour restaurant close the doors so that they could send the cook home for some rest. Yeah, I’ve waited 40 minutes for my dinner, and I didn’t ask for a discount, we tipped VERY well, and sent the cook our best wishes. If something goes wrong with your restaurant experience, consider that there are real people back there, working under god knows what conditions.