we're lionhearted

first of all, i hope everyone is staying safe and taking care of themselves. the beginning of the year has already started off very... interesting, so make sure you’re prioritizing yourself and your well-being.

NOW, i have been pretty on and off with this blog for a while, disappearing for months at a time. that’s due to a few reasons, so i’ll try to list them:

probably the biggest one, ~my mental health~. my mental health has been all topsy turvy for a few years now. it’s affected my mood, my productivity levels, etc etc. it’s only recently that i’ve started regularly seeing a psychologist, got diagnosed with adhd and depression, and have been trying out some medications and all that good stuff.

i guess this is kind of a consequence of the first one, but my motivation to write/my muse has been dwindling a lot recently. after i joined a group rp that i’ve been in for a while now, though, that has gotten a lot better, which is why i wanna try and be more active again here.

i haven’t been very motivated with the rp community as of late. i could make a whole post about that, but in general, it’s very different from when i started writing on tumblr (given, that was like... what, 5+ years ago?) , which makes me more hesitant to reach out to write with new ppl. it’s also just... really hard to find ppl who want to write with me? especially as a multi-muse blog? especially as a multi-muse blog with only female oc’s?? yikes. however, i’m perfectly happy if i’m just writing with the ppl i already write with now, so i don’t mind it that much.

uni is stressful!! and thinking about the future is stressful! i’m in my final semester of my bachelor’s degree! aaaahhh!!!

i DO want to be more consistent on this blog, tho, bc i’ve missed writing with people here, and i’ve missed all my girls. in order to do that, i’m first gonna be moving into a new blog in the following days. no major changes-- i just feel like i need to switch blogs and start fresh, plus i want to try a better tagging system so everything is a bit more organized. i might make a promo post once i move, but i haven’t made graphics in a WHILE (plus i’m not really that good at them to begin with), so we’ll see how that goes.

i also want to explore more of my characters outside of their regular verses (bc there’s only so much you can do in a normal modern verse) so i want to explore au’s more! i don’t know if i’ll necessarily do fandom verses (like marvel, star wars, etc., bc i feel like i don’t know enough about any fandom to feel comfortable writing in those worlds lol), but i’d love to play arund with different au’s, whether it’s royal au’s time period au’s, etc etc. i might also make some of my muses that i don’t use that often (either bc people just don’t interact with them that much or my muse for them is finicky), and maybew new characters?? but that’s a hard maybe.

accepting

accepting

she remembers the half-finished sketch of her hidden in one his books, and the painting of a detailed eye he had showcased at the museum that was undoubtebly hers. hurley has drawn her before, but it’s always been in secret, not something that was ever meant for her to see outright. yet he shows her the painting, and that is unabashadly her, and unabashadly him, and unabashadly them. it makes something stir in her chest, warm and all-encompassing.

accepting

there is a moment where cory is almost confident she can save this. the house itself is fine; it’s easy enough to follow the instructions. however, it’s the moment she starts applying the frosting that everything starts to -- kindly put-- fall apart. the consistency of the frosting is droopy, sliding off the sides of the house instead of hanging elegantly, and whatever fancy roofing she was trying to accomplish looks less like carefully placed shingles and more like bird shit. 

accepting

“i didn’t know it had alcohol.” cory whispers conspirationally, having tugged ben into a corner of the steele kitchen. there’s a wide-eyed look to her, like a kid who’s just been caught trying to peek into the presents under the tree too early. she’s cradling a cup of water in her hands, tipping it up to her lips to take a big gulp. once the cup is placed down on a counter, she brings her hands up to her cheeks, feeling for the gentle warmth showing up in a hue of pink on her skin. “is it noticeable? because i’m a really good actress. i can just-- i’m, you know-- i’m totally sober.” her back straightens, lips setting into a straight line that doesn’t last long before she dissolves into a quiet fit of giggles.she feels silly, but she doesn’t really mind it here.

  “DON’T ASK ME WHY, BUT I HAVE THE FEELING your first option will work out. Call it a hunch.” It’s not as if she’s known her since forever, but something about her tells him that she’s too dedicated and passionate about her goals. He decides to say this without hand movement, with his vivid voice, for her eyes seem too distracted looking at her own hands. He doesn’t know if it is because she relies on them to communicate, or if she’s being SHY…or just both. Either way, he makes sure he can hear her, even if he has to WHISPER due to the place they’re in. 

  “Fair enough.” A smile settles on his lips, because that ANSWER is better than a plain negative. At least the idea of GOING to the event is dancing in her head and, if she ends up not going, he’s not going to blame her or be upset by it. He’s aware others have things to do rather than just attending these sorts of activities. “Don’t think about it for too long, though. Tickets might sell out.” Playful tone gets wrapped up in his words; bright, green eyes looking up to address her. 

   “The saxophone.” This time around, he uses his hands to reply, for he can see the librarian from the corner of his eye. He can’t risk getting banned from the library, right? Especially not after meeting her. It’s obvious he wants to keep on talking with her. “I just started playing it, about one or two years ago, so you could say I’m still a rookie. Still, it’s fun to play it.” A pause. “Do you like jazz? What kind of music do you prefer when dancing? Classical? Any other genre?” 

Call it a hunch. Estelle isn’t sure how to react to that. Sure, whatever confidence she has lies mostly in her dancing-- she knows she’s talented-- but he has no reason to believe so. Yet he tells her, and she doesn’t know what to respond with other than a furrow of her brow, an exhale of a nervous chuckle as her gaze flits quickly between his eyes and her hands.

  HE LISTENS TO HER WITH A TIGHTENED SMILE, as on the inside, he feels like fainting right there and then. Somehow, he considers it’d be easier to just get swallowed by EARTH than continue lying, because he KNOWS he’s so awful at spitting lies and attempting to make them CREDIBLE. He can already tell she’s being suspicious; his heart THUMPING wildly in his chest as he hides his shaky hands behind his back. 

  “Oh, oh–ye-yeah! Places with high altitude have a better sky-view, that’s a fact. Also distant places that are far away from tall buildings and factors of smoke for, uh, for obvious rea-reasons.” Brows rise at Cory’s observation, looking behind his shoulder to stare at the MOON…that’s not a full one this time around. Darn it. “Oh…huh? I could’ve…sworn it was…fu-full a few minutes ago—maybe, the-the clouds—” He sighs, placing a hand on his forehead, almost SMACKING himself. “I’m just, this is–uh, I—” And then, he lets out a long sigh, trying to gather himself, before saying:

  “Do you…believe in…in supernatural th-things, miss Cory?” 

She doesn’t want to put any unneeded PRESSURE on the boy. Wilder has never been anything but kind to her whenever she’s stopped by the bookstore; he seems like a nice person. Then again, Cory also knows better than to place her trust in someone just because they’re nice. Still, she plays along with the conversation that seems mostly driven by his nerves, a pursed smile on her lips. “Right, yeah. The buildings around here probably don’t help much.” The park seems like one of the few places to get a clear enough view of the sky.

  HE PRETENDS TO BE OFFENDED AT HER WORDS, pressing a hand to his chest whilst frowning. Depends on if you have money for that big of a favor. 

  “You think I’d come here to ask this empty-handed? That hurts my pride.” It doesn’t, really. He just likes to be DRAMATIC at times. He ( usually ) tends to be a man of his word…if all goes well, that is. Because when things go south, he goes as far as leaving people on their own devices. Depending on who it is. He can get quite selective. Félix pays loyalty to NO ONE unless it’s been earned. 

  “I can…pay you with a drink?” Now, he’s just teasing; a little smirk on his lips. “Look, I’ve been hired by a very wealthy man, and he’s willing to pay anything for this. So, if you’re worried about the money, that’s covered.” His tone gains seriousness, because that much is true. “Say a number and you’ll have it as soon as we successfully finish this.” Brows rise. “How does that sound?” 

Her raised brow only heightens as she pretends to take offense, an amused smirk tickling at the corners of her mouth. She finds that presenting confidence, even if it’s not all REAL, goes a long way in convincing people that you KNOW what you’re doing. And while she knows she’s skilled, she knows shit about negotiating or putting a price tag to her work.