mwah

just one of those things I have to grow up and deal with.

I hope you’re proud of me for learning to give myself psrmission.

there is not a day that goes by wherein I don’t forget to wish for hope for my life on this dying planet. Perhaps this is a request that may be too much to ask, but I just want for someone to find me truly and unconditionally beautiful. Unlike the men in my life who’ve seen me as nothing more than a hollow doll with an ephemeral purpose.

the moment I knew I had to let you go.

I have to hold it in simply because I know there is absolutely no way I could avoid feeling nothing other than embarassment and ridicule. this is not forever.

3:04 - we are sure to return to each other in time, my love. do the thoughts of our reunion cross your mind in the same delicate and blissful way they do mine? perhaps one day I will have the courage to speak for myself and tell you how dearly i adore you.  i can only hope to hear you return the words of affection that i oh so dared to say aloud that night before you left in september.

12:05a - away from home yet again, and once again its on my own terms as it should be. i haven’t spoken to my mother since christmas, my sister’s high school graduation is right around the corner, and i’m here having booked a professional contract with a world-renowned agency. I truly could not be more grateful for the countless blessings Mother Universe has provided and will continue to provide in my lifetime. - my dearest, it has felt like i have missed you an entire lifetime. Yet, you are always with me, always present, and always love. thank you for ten months of a life i never thought i’d live. Thank you for protecting me from the darknesses of this world with your light.

you are repulsive.

-

I wish you knew how much I care about you. I hope you haven'f moved on already.