. ۫ ꣑ৎ .

     getting besides herself ? maybe . micah didn't do anything without completely thinking it over first . that included getting into relationships . she was terrified of them . she's throwing her inhibitions to the wind when it came to koda though . she had to . she knew that he'd protect her heart because that was just the kind of guy he was . so it didn't make her stomach flip at the idea of baring herself to him . it didn't worry her giving her all to a man that didn't even ask her to be his girlfriend yet . moans , arching into his touch . she's eager for it . cunt practically dripping at the way he teases her . thankful to hear the door to his suv open , giving her man one last sultry kiss before climbing inside –– working the fabric of her dress up to her hips for good measure . she's too giddy . never done anything like this before . not even when she was younger . the poster child for doing things the right way . so prim and proper . “ it's so hot when you get all desperate for me . you don't even know how wet it makes me . ”

watches her ass when she crawls into the backseat of his car , unable to help himself as he reaches forward to grab a palmful of her pert cheek . he licks his lips . god damn . how can such a woman exist ? a living , breathing goddess , and she's all his . " i'm about to find out , " murmurs , mouth watering as she talks about how wet her pretty little cunt is for him . every second he's not slurping on her clit feels like a damn crime . koda takes a single look behind him before he hops inside after her , shutting the door . finally alone . tinted out windows providing them to the privacy they both are desperately feigning for . one hand tangles in micah's hair as he tugs her forward , mouths colliding together in a deep , messy union whilst opposite appendage moves between her legs . groans out loud ⎯⎯ wasn't lying , she's fucking soaked , digits rubbing between her folds , " oh baby . damn . this pussy is practically cryin' for me ... " situates himself , moving to lay on his back across the leather seats , reaching for his girl as he pulls her forward to straddle his face , " c'mere , lemme taste you . lemme make you feel good . "

     she's watched him with other women . always thought they weren't good enough for him . now that micah's in the thick of it , she definitely can realize it was jealousy . feelings that she tried not to pay attention to . feelings that she buried deep beneath the surface . they were great friends .. ––- until they weren't . until the drinks were flowing and the lines blurred . until she made that move and he reciprocated . the rest was history . now she sees that the way he was with other women was nothing like how he was with her . it was better . so attentive . so loving . so full of admiration for her even in moments where she doesn't think she necessarily deserves it . seen the good , bad and the ugly . through it all koda stays . never had someone as fiercely loyal as him . “ me , ” she whimpers . “ me . –– i'm all yours . ” her nipples were hard , brushing against the fabric of her dress and his chest . she's soaked to the point where even her thighs are slick . a leg curls at his waist , eagerly allowing him access to explore her mouth in any way he wants . all while grinding her cunt against the bulge in his jeans . she couldn't help herself . she's never felt more alive than she did right now .

can't fight the smirk that twitches against his lips when she says that she's all his . it's music to his fucking ears . makes him feel secure that this attachment isn't one sided , that he wasn't the only one actively falling in love . hand moves to roughly grip her thigh as she tangles a leg around him , rolling his hips into her's . hard . can feel the heat and wetness radiating off her cunt , driving him wild . making his mouth water even as he's got his tongue wrestling her's . opposite hand cups her breast , thumb brushing over the stiff outline of her nipple , growing frustrated with the fabric that separates them . needs to feel her , really feel her . skin on skin . appendage finally finds the door handle , opening it with a click as he tugs micah flush against him to step back and open it for her to get inside . " i need that pussy in my mouth right fucking now , baby ⎯⎯ get in there . before i decide i'm making you cum against this car instead . "

     won't lie about the way the pace of her heart picks up in her chest at the mention of love . knew he was saying it casually , but they haven't said it at all outside of when they were friends . that was when things were strictly platonic between them . so now with the obvious shift , it does mean a bit more to her . it excites her . does that mean he loves her ? is too hesitant to ask , so she chooses to beam through his words , smile stretched across her face . focuses more on the way he presses a kiss against her neck , rather than the words i love you hanging from the tip of her tongue . just begging to be said . “ i know you're greedy so i had to leave some things just for you . ” does her best keeping up with his pace . just as eager as him to get to his suv . she's itching to get her hands on him . to moan out his name . to swallow those shallow breaths he releases any time he's inside her . he wasn't the only one that was completely smitten with being so close together . arms immediately wrap around his neck as koda's hands find her hips . this man was so perfect . so tall . so big . so fine . and completely hers . she couldn't imagine this with anyone else . he didn't have to worry about her inviting him to her proposal because she just knew he'd be the one down on one knee and no one else . “ i can always take it , ” nods , tongue slipping from between her lips to meet his .

always falls in love too fast . that was his biggest problem , the ultimate downfall of nearly every single one of his relationships . micah is different . couldn't even put her in the same category as the women he's be with before ⎯⎯ the mother of his child included . it's an eye - opening experiencing , thinking he knew what it's like to be in love only to find himself face - to -face with a girl he's known for years humbly informed that he never knew shit . this was love . intense , passionate , consuming , inspiring ⎯⎯ all of those things and more . she fills him with the kind of strength only his daughter has ever instilled in him . that's how he knows it's the real deal . " what else is all mine ? " homme queries , timbre throaty and low . hands on her hips slide around to grab a hold of her ass , squeezing and kneading her cheeks eagerly through her dress . with his cock pressed up against her like this , can't resist grinding against her as they kiss . nice and slow . appendages eventually travel to cup her face , using his thumbs that curl into her mouth to pry it open wider as koda lewdly slips his tongue inside for a sloppy , sensual taste . the door handle is right there , but he can't take his hands off of her .

     “ honestly the realest . ” her cheeks hurt from how much she smiles around him . has never felt so safe and secure with a man like she did with koda . always been so guarded , but now she felt loved enough to let those walls down . one night that turned into many and now they don't know how to let go of each other .. -–- it's like something she wished for out of her romance books . most of her friends warned her not to get involved . not only was she not used to things like this , but also she was very work focused . koda was an athlete .. with a child at that . it was a lot on her plate considering the fact that she's never dated someone in either of those groups . so far , though , so good . even if she had a complaint , it went out the window as soon as they ended up tangled in bed together where she could barely even remember her own name . “ you're the worst influence on me . ” she agrees , nodding her head . hand slides down into his , following his lead as they slip outside . the chilled night air instantly sends a shiver down her spine . goosebumps pricking at her skin . “ you love doing a lot of things to me . we can just add that to the list , i suppose ... take it easy on me . i'm new here . ”

can't resist the way he stares . she's just so damn cute when she's smiling like that . and it makes it extra better knowing that smile is all for him . wants to be the reason she's this happy forever . koda can't believe they've been right in front of each other's faces this whole time . she's the one . he's been aware of it for a while now ⎯⎯ well , since their first fucking kiss , really . it just clicked . being with her in all capacities just made sense . " i fuckin' love that , baby , " homme murmurs , leaning over as they walk to press an open - mouthed kiss against micah's neck , " i love you saving all those bad things just for me . " his car is close ⎯ perks of being best friends with the host , optimal parking . he doesn't think he'll be able to keep his affections pg -13 limited for much longer . his dick is throbbing in his pants , his mouth watering for a taste of his girl's sweet cunt , just as he promised . as they approach his suv , koda's hands find her hips , pivoting her body to pin her back against the nearest backseat door , leaning against her her ⎯⎯ wanting her to feel him . his hands cup her face , thumbs gliding along her lesser , " i never give you anything i know you can't take . and you always take it , don't you ? ⎯ my good girl . " gives into close proximity then , crashing his mouth against her's fully . deeply .

can't   fathom   that   his   girlfriend   keeps   him   satisfied   —   not   when   she's   seen   him   all   worked   up   ,   unspooling   like   a   thread   for   her   .   knows   how   easy   it'd   be   to   do   even   now   ,   make   him   forget   all   about   the   bottle   blonde   skank   he's   parading   around   on   his   arm   .   but   he   doesn't   deserve   it   ,   not   when   he's   making   a   complete   and   utter   fool   out   of   her   ,   and   painting   her   the   villain   in   the   process   .   laugh   that   emits   her   lips   is   the   blunt   edge   of   a   very   sharp   knife   ,   "   i   had   a   fucking   job   to   do   ,   bear   .   what   would   you   have   had   me   do   ?   did   you   really   want   to   do   long   distance   for   months   —   better   yet   ,   could   you   have   kept   it   in   your   pants   that   long   ?   "   eyes   shift   to   his   girlfriend   across   the   room   ,   her   jaw   ticking   ,   "   from   the   looks   of   it   ,   you   would've   lasted   ..   "   pretends   to   count   before   she's   lifting   her   hand   ,   holding   up   three   fingers   ,   "   three   months   total   before   you   found   somebody   to   take   my   place   .   i   just   pulled   off   the   band   -   aid   first   .   correction   :   you   didn't   give   up   on   me   until   it   was   convenient   for   you   .   "   at   this   point   ,   isn't   bothering   to   hide   her   bitterness   .   why   should   she   ?   he   had   no   problem   making   her   uncomfortable   shoving   his   new   relationship   down   her   throat   ,   may   as   well   shove   her   fist   down   his   .   brows   scrunch   at   his   sudden   movement   ,   a   breath   stilling   in   her   throat   that   she's   quickly   swallowing   and   rolling   her   shoulders   back   ,   as   if   preparing   for   battle   .   each   step   makes   organ   tick   a   beat   faster   but   keeps   face   poised   ,   refusing   to   allow   him   the   upper   hand   .   he's   so   close   ,   she   could   stick   her   tongue   out   and   lick   him   ,   and   she   hates   that   the   underlying   growl   in   deep   timbre   makes   her   want   to   .   "   you   have   a   paper   and   a   pen   ?   scratch   that   ,   i   could   always   use   a   napkin   ..   "   eyes   him   ,   a   smile   tugging   at   her   lips   .   he   may   not   be   doin'   this   here   ,   but   she   certainly   is   .   "   i'll   start   with   carter   .   most   memorable   ,   huge   cock   ..   almost   split   me   in   half   .   we   went   for   hours   .   "

jaw clenches , pushing his tongue to the roof of his mouth as expression hardens . he's insulted . no bother trying to hide it ⎯⎯ isn't sure he wants to anyway . even if he can't change her mind , bear hates that she's clinging onto that perception of him even more . long distance was never an issue for him , never a deterrent . told her he's resilient and he meant it . wasn't the type of man to forget the good thing he's got when his girl is out of eyesight . " actually that's exactly what i wanted to do , what about it ? ⎯ i might be a lot of things , but a fuckin' cheat ain't one of them . if there was a part of you that genuinely questioned my loyalty , then you never fuckin' knew me in the first place . and that's all i'm gonna say on that . " thumb flicks against the tip of his nose , inhaling sharply . femme's words have more of an impact over him that he wants to show , let alone admit to himself . " ⎯⎯ you mean until you gave me no other fucking choice ? " bear tried ; he fought for her . something about her overlooking all of that is almost worse than the break up itself . like taking a sledgehammer straight to his balls . it fucks him up that much . doesn't help that she knows just where to hit him where it hurts , the mere notion of another man experiencing nikita in all the ways he used to makes bear feel sick to his stomach . how long did it take her to welcome someone else between her legs ? did she ever think about him ? miss him ? his head is swarming , filled with thoughts and images he wishes he could erase his brain of . so close her perfume invades his nostrils , the familiarity of her body within touching distance of his has fingertips on fire . itching to feel if her skin is as silky smooth as he remembers it . " don't need one , " insists sharply , pointer digit jabbing against his temple , " got a memory like a fuckin' elephant . " doesn't conceal the disgust , the raw , palpable jealousy that courses through him as she describes her tryst , facial features tensing . " so you mean to tell me you're sittin' here , givin' me shit for one girl . one fuckin' girl while you got yourself a fuckin' roster ? " tongue clicks , leaning in ⎯⎯ no such thing as personal space , the tension surrounding them thick . foreboding . " and i still bet none of 'em felt as good inside you as i do . you still think about it , don't you ? because i know i do . "

isn't   sure   how   much   longer   he   can   keep   this   up   —   listening   and   talking   about   this   boyfriend   of   hers   ,   pretending   that   it   doesn't   kill   him   inside   to   think   of   her   with   somebody   else   .   isn't   sure   how   to   face   that   she   chose   another   man   over   him   :   after   months   of   being   intimate   ,   getting   to   know   a   person   in   all   the   ways   one   can   without   there   being   a   title   .   he   thought   it   was   leading   somewhere   —   until   it   wasn't   .   "   i   ..   i   don't   want   you   to   stop   .   "   groans   ,   fingers   tearing   through   his   hair   .   knows   that   he's   being   confusing   but   he   doesn't   want   to   push   her   away   with   the   truth   .   the   risk   of   losing   her   is   too   prominent   and   he   can't   handle   that   .   wouldn't   .   however   ,   as   she   speaks   ,   her   words   cutting   through   the   air   ,   his   lips   are   parting   and   there's   a   punch   wedged   in   his   gut   that   leaves   him   breathless   for   a   second   .   two   .   "   what   -   what   does   that   mean   ,   thena   ?   you're   with   him   .   you   chose   him   .   you   can't   ..   you   can't   say   shit   like   that   to   me   .   it's   -   fuck   ,   thena   !   it's   confusing   .   it's   fucking   with   me   .   "   he   doesn't   get   it   —   it   doesn't   make   sense   .   if   she   means   that   ,   if   she   really   feels   that   way   ..   why   the   fuck   is   she   with   this   douchebag   ?   why   waste   her   time   when   he's   right   fucking   here   ?   his   throat   works   around   a   swallow   as   her   fingers   wrap   around   his   wrist   like   a   shackle   :   ironic   ,   considering   that's   how   this   arrangement   is   starting   to   feel   .   he's   a   prisoner   to   her   ,   to   his   feelings   ..   isn't   sure   there   ever   going   away   ,   isn't   sure   he   even   wants   them   to   .   he's   becoming   a   masochist   .   absentmindedly   ,   fingers   shift   to   entangle   in   hair   as   she   hides   her   face   in   his   chest   and   his   head   is   ducking   ,   pressing   his   lips   to   the   top   of   her   head   .   "   what   ?   "   her   words   are   muffled   ,   and   he's   freezing   ,   the   thunderous   thumping   of   his   heart   definitely   audible   with   how   close   she   is   .   he   heard   her   wrong   ..   right   ?   uses   his   grip   on   her   hair   to   pull   her   head   back   ,   tilting   it   towards   him   so   she   has   no   choice   but   to   look   at   him   ,   "   all   i've   ever   wanted   was   to   be   with   you   ,   athena   .   are   you   ...   are   you   kidding   me   ?   "   stares   at   her   in   disbelief   ,   eyes   threatening   to   bug   out   of   his   head   ,   "   you   broke   my   fuckin'   heart   getting   with   this   guy   .   but   i   ..   what   was   i   supposed   to   do   ?   i   didn't   think   you   felt   the   same   !   so   i   -   i   let   you   go   without   sayin'   shit   because   i   thought   that's   what   you   wanted   .   are   you   -   are   you   being   serious   ?   are   you   fucking   with   me   right   now   ?   how   could   you   not   see   how   i   felt   about   you   ?   "

the erratic beating organ in athena's chest longs to close the distance between their bodies , to hold onto him tight ⎯⎯ so tight , nobody would ever be able to pry her away . let's see what her boyfriend has to say about that . ugh . it's not fair . none of this is . homme's burst of frustration takes athena by surprise , anxiety twisting and tangling through her body with red - hot intensity . can't understand why her truthful reassurances didn't land . she only seems to be fucking this up worse . deep blue hues stare up at him through thick lashes , features softening , voice small , " i'm sorry ... i wasn't trying to confuse you , gio , i swear . " doesn't understand it , how she's fucking with his head ⎯ what did she say that was so wrong , anyway ? it's not the same , how it feels with her current beau than how it feels with gio . emotionally . physically . the truth . nevertheless , would rather placate than dig any deeper . it'd only hurt her even more , she's sure of it . instead , she'll bury her head in the sand ⎯⎯ or against his chest , rather , where she can pretend having him this close will last forever . it won't . a girl can dream , can't she ? tempted to stain his shirt with her lipgloss in the shape of a kiss just to prove she was here . immediately regrets opening her mouth to ask him that . between gio's bafflement and his heart taking off like a long - distance sprinter , she's sick to her stomach . his digits tangle in her hair , tugging her head back to force wide - bambi eyes to link with his . " ow , " athena whimpers out loud ⎯ completely unhurt , just dramatic . the way he's staring down at her makes her feel so small ; the disappointment , the hurt that lingers there not something she fully understands but feels guilty over just the same . she broke his heart . that stings , stumbling back out of reach , her expression aghast , " what ? ⎯ no , i ⎯⎯ you never said anything ! it was months ! i waited and i waited and i waited for you to ask me to be your girlfriend and you never did ! " sentiment hangs in the air momentarily between them whilst athena tries not to cry . doesn't like how stupid he's making her feel ⎯ like it was all so obvious ; she just had to read between the lines . it didn't seem fair . " it took vic one week to ask me , one week ! and i only said yes because when i told you , you still didn't say anything ! "

"don't." the word came out sharp, almost reflexive. she caught herself, smoothed it back down. the thing was, doll used to sound different coming from him. she wasn't about to examine that too closely right now. she shifted her weight, recrossed her arms. without her phone she felt stripped down in a way that had nothing to do with her job. no lifeline, no out. just her and whatever she could work with, which right now was nothing but her mouth and the one card she actually had left to play. might as well play it. "you're wasting your time." she let her eyes drag slowly around the room before settling back on him, unbothered. bored, even. "abel already has everything he needs. i made sure of that." a beat. she let it breathe. "so keeping me here doesn't actually do anything for you, tony. the damage is done." she held his gaze and kept her face perfectly still and waited to see if anything behind those eyes shifted even a fraction.

" if that's the case , then there's no point in keepin' you alive . is there ? " anthony challenges , timbre cold . straight - to - the - point . isn't the move he wants to make , but she's forced his hand . the ultimate betrayal . should just get it over with . send her back to her people in a pretty coffin . if it was anybody else , he wouldn't need to think twice . it'd be a done deal already . can't believe he exposed himself like this , that he let a woman make such a damn fool of him . vulnerability has never been his strong suit . had such a visceral reputation for a reason ⎯ shoot first , ask questions never . " you can't possibly think this is gonna end any other way . you knew the risks . don't see anyone comin' to save you . " he flashes her a wolfish grin , " not like it'd do 'em any good . i'll just kill them too . "

i'm not worth it. he pulls back just enough to look at her properly. something moves across his face — not anger, not quite. something more like a man who has heard the wrong thing said about someone he loves and cannot let it stand. "don't say that," firm. no room in it, "don't ever say that to me again." his hands have moved without him deciding to — framing her face now, thumbs brushing the tracks her tears left on her cheeks. holding her like something he intends to keep. the what do we do hangs in the warm air between them and he doesn't have a clean answer. doesn't have a map or a timeline or a guarantee. he's honest enough not to pretend otherwise. "i don't have it all figured out," admits it quietly, forehead nearly back to hers. "i'm not going to stand here and sell you a plan that doesn't exist yet." a beat. his eyes moving across her face like he's memorizing it. "but i've got people. resources. and so do you, even if you don't want to use them." he swallows. "we don't move fast. we don't do anything stupid. we just — start looking for the door. together," his thumbs still against her cheeks. "you've been in there alone trying to find a way out. let me look with you."

lesser quivers as homme's hands move to either side of her face , compelling their gaze to meet and cosima feels like her heart's being forced through a paper shredder . it's absolutely excruciating . lover's thumbs swipe away freely flowing tears , more quickly taking it's place cascading down porcelain cheeks . " you could have a really great life ⎯⎯ with - with someone else , " she whimpers as hand moves to reside on top of his . fingers lacing together , holding onto him the only way she can . breaks her heart thinking about it , envisioning his future with another woman by his side . at least he'd be free ⎯ free of her bullshit and deadly baggage . releases a shaky sigh as austin rests his forehead against her's , pitiful in the way she slips off the lounger and into his lap instead . doesn't give a fuck it's awkward , just needs to be held . can't say she's surprised that he doesn't have a plan fully fleshed out . she's asking the impossible out of him . that's how cosima sees it anyway . " it's not that i don't want to , they're all loyal to my dad , i can't ⎯⎯ i can't trust them , austin . i can't . only you . i only have you , that's what you don't understand . i don't have anybody else . "

those   fucking   tears   ...   all   for   him   ,   all   his   goddamn   fault   .   why   couldn't   he   just   leave   her   be   ?   "   what's   it   matter   ?   the   answer   isn't   gonna   change   anything   ,   hayden   .   so   let's   just   leave   it   .   "   she   said   it   herself   ,   she   hadn't   spoke   to   her   dad   lately   —   so   ,   their   relationship   ended   for   nothing   .   he   jeopardized   everything   :   his   happiness   ,   a   chance   at   something   good   out   of   fear   that   had   nowhere   to   go   .   jaw   tenses   at   her   concern   ,   the   burn   of   her   fingers   along   his   wrist   branding   him   worse   than   any   of   her   words   ever   could   .   "   i'm   fine   .   "   mutters   ,   digits   twitching   with   the   urge   to   reach   out   again   ,   to   wipe   the   tears   from   her   cheeks   ,   but   then   she's   pulling   away   ,   and   he's   reminded   all   over   again   that   taking   care   of   her   isn't   his   job   anymore   .   just   like   it   isn't   hers   .   "   what   was   i   going   to   say   ,   hayden   ?   you   fuckin'   hated   me   .   i   saw   it   in   your   eyes   —   nothin'   i   said   would've   made   you   look   at   me   any   differently   .   i   fucked   up   ,   i   shouldn't   have   fed   into   any   of   the   shit   your   dad   said   to   me   but   —   "   voice   cuts   off   abruptly   and   he's   emitting   a   dark   chuckle   ,   shaking   his   head   ,   "   let   it   go   .   "   isn't   sure   whether   he's   telling   himself   or   her   that   ,   and   he   doesn't   clarify   it   any   further   .   doesn't   think   the   clarification   would   do   them   any   good   anyway   ,   not   when   they're   both   on   the   verge   of   burning   down   the   building   .   doesn't   say   anything   back   to   her   ,   all   he   can   do   is   stare   at   the   back   of   her   head   with   those   deep   ,   blue   eyes   ,   and   wonder   why   she   had   really   come   tonight   ,   why   the   universe   was   torturing   him   .   the   familiarity   of   her   shampoo   burns   his   nostrils   ,   fingers   flexing   against   the   door   as   palm   remains   pressed   to   metal   ,   restraining   her   there   —   between   him   ,   and   the   rest   of   the   world   on   the   other   side   .   it's   a   form   of   self   -   inflicted   torment   :   being   this   close   to   her   ,   and   not   being   able   to   do   anything   about   it   .   the   air   is   weighted   ,   blanketing   them   and   wrapping   like   a   tight   ,   thick   rope   around   his   neck   with   every   passing   second   that   she   doesn't   answer   .   until   she   does   .   his   teeth   click   ,   his   nostrils   flare   ,   and   she's   looking   up   at   him   with   those   sweet   ,   doe   eyes   ,   and   he's   a   goner   .   "   good   .   "   before   he   can   think   it   through   ,   he's   moving   forward   ,   body   pressing   her   firmly   to   the   door   ,   a   hand   wrapping   around   her   jaw   and   tilting   it   towards   him   ,   until   mouth   is   sealing   itself   against   hers   .

eyes search his desperately . mind reeling , thoughts hardly coherent , her body physically vibrating . shaking . " it matters ! you don't get to decide what matters to me and what doesn't ! " hand claps over racing heart , how it squeezes in her chest , red hot agony that sears from the inside out . what if's taunt her like a school yard bully . lesser trembles , pads of her fingers delicately tracing the dips and cracks of homme's battered knuckles . guilt sits like a led brick in her gut . " you're not , you're not fine ... " neither is she . furthest thing from it . rattled to her fucking core . doesn't help that getting cliff to divulge anything of use to her , a crumb , a nugget , any - fucking - thing was just like pulling teeth . excruciating and brutal . " no , no , no , before you broke up with me , cliff , you should've said something ! you should've told me about my dad when it happened , when it fucking happened ! i made him promise to me that he wouldn't ⎯⎯ " voice cracks , she breaks , " ⎯ he wouldn't try to scare you off . but i never thought ... i never thought you actually leave me . " can't dwell on gut - wrenching thought long , as cliff eviscerates her on the spot with just three simple words . let . it . go . has half a mind to slap him , god does she want to . god knows he deserves it . and god knows she never would . she loves him . " no ! fuck you , i won't let this go ! you need to talk to me , you need to tell me everything ! ⎯⎯ right now , cliff ! ... please ? i need to know . i really do . " hayden loathes this version of herself . the girl who ends her insults with lip quivering , teary - eyed begging . just can't feign her indifference for a second longer . can't look him in the eye and say none of it matters to her , it'd be a lie . her boyfriend accused her of setting him up , that she let him go into that fight with cliff underprepared . maybe , in the back of her mind ... that's exactly what she did . she can hardly breathe as his smoldering gaze lingers , wishing she could read his mind . doesn't need to wonder for long , towering physique pressing her's against the door . it's metal , cold , but his body isn't . " he's not you , " whispers softly as he's gripping her jaw , leaning in close . time slows , sense on override as mouths collide in long over - due frenzy .

he's   acting   like   she's   the   one   that   broke   his   heart   :   that   left   him   hollow   and   devastated   for   weeks   —   nay   ,   months   .   it   was   the   most   foolish   and   stupidest   she's   ever   felt   ,   longing   for   somebody   that   betrayed   her   without   thinking   twice   about   it   .   neglected   the   warning   everyone   gave   her   to   not   involve   herself   with   another   musician   ,   but   she   thought   that   he   was   different   ..   that   they   could   survive   anything   ,   including   the   months   of   being   apart   .   oh   ,   how   wrong   she   fucking   was   .   but   ,   judging   by   the   way   she's   whipping   around   to   face   him   fully   ,   she's   had   enough   of   his   act   .   "   what   are   you   trying   to   pull   here   ,   london   ?   you   don't   get   to   act   like   you're   the   forlorn   ,   wounded   ex   .   you   want   to   get   pity   from   someone   ,   want   me   to   lick   your   wounds   for   you   ?   pass   .   you   have   a   whole   ass   girlfriend   waiting   for   you   in   your   bed   —   one   that   you   chose   to   drag   along   on   our   tour   .   don't   think   that   i'm   overlooking   that   detail   .   "   figures   he   did   it   on   purpose   :   to   rub   it   in   her   face   that   he   moved   on   ,   that   she's   easily   as   forgettable   as   she   is   replaceable   .   so   ,   the   way   he's   behaving   ,   isn't   adding   up   with   his   actions   .   just   like   lyrics   ,   words   are   equally   as   meaningless   .   something   he's   proved   time   and   time   again   .   "   then   what   did   you   mean   ?   i'm   all   ears   .   "   those   icy   blues   of   hers   fix   on   him   expectantly   ,   awaiting   his   grand   reveal   .   "   because   twenty   minutes   ago   ,   you   were   quick   to   dismiss   that   the   song   was   even   about   me   .   "   when   they   both   know   it   is   —   she   was   there   when   he   wrote   it   ,   curled   into   his   side   when   he   strum   it   on   the   guitar   ,   slipped   him   inside   of   her   after   and   pressed   him   into   the   mattress   as   she   came   all   over   his   cock   ,   too   .   scoffs   ,   a   roll   to   her   eyes   when   he's   searching   like   a   feral   addict   for   something   a   bit   stronger   than   the   beer   he'd   been   chugging   .   isn't   surprised   by   his   craving   for   liquor   to   wash   down   this   bitter   interaction   ,   but   she   is   surprised   when   he   pauses   and   stuns   her   into   brief   silence   .   brows   inch   up   her   forehead   ,   and   then   fall   back   ,   her   throat   working   around   a   tight   swallow   .   "   is   that   what   you   think   —   that   i'm   a   robot   and   can   just   turn   it   off   that   easily   ?   you   broke   my   fucking   heart   .   you   ripped   it   out   ,   stomped   on   it   ,   and   then   spit   on   it   .   i   wrote   a   whole   album   about   you   .   i   sang   it   on   every   tour   ,   i   choked   back   tears   —   i   went   on   press   tours   and   had   to   pretend   that   you   didn't   haunt   every   fucking   song   .   so   ,   fuck   you   .   you   have   no   idea   what   you're   talking   about   .   "   she's   abruptly   standing   to   her   feet   ,   her   chest   so   tight   that   every   breath   feels   sharp   ,   and   painful   ,   "   you   don't   love   me   —   you   don't   do   something   like   that   to   somebody   you   love   .   "   she's   leaning   over   the   bar   and   snatching   the   bottle   of   jack   ,   and   shoving   it   into   his   chest   ,   "   there   .   maybe   that'll   help   you   turn   that   switch   off   .   "

" would you prefer it if i didn't give a fuck at all ? ⎯⎯ if i didn't feel badly for it , if i didn't regret what i did ? " a lose - lose situation and london feels like his sanity is next on the chopping block . debates if he should grin and bear it , but eating shit has never been his forte . " didn't know this would be our fuckin' tour when she asked to come along . nice try though , love . ⎯⎯⎯ is havin' her around gonna be a problem for you , then ? she can be on the first flight home in the morning ! i don't care ! fuck it ! she's nothing , nothing to me ! " a dog at jade's beck and call ⎯ can't she tell ? awaiting her command like a four - legged companion , feening for his owner's approval . feels like he's coming a part at the seams , emotion bleeding out , pooling around him . her expectant glare wearing him down to the bone . " i meant nobody else knows what those songs really mean aside from the two of us , maybe i worded it wrong ⎯ forget it , sentiment's gone to shit anyway . " sounded better in his head . more romantic . clearly it didn't land . didn't change how he felt . those songs didn't mean a damn thing when he sang them to anyone else . how could they ? as if every lyric he's ever curated is encoded ⎯⎯ an intimate message intended for one , not millions . no . those songs don't mean shit to anybody else . scoffs , releasing a dry , humorless snicker , " i was bein' fuckin' coy . blue eyed girl . no bloody shit i wrote that song for you . " at this point it feels purposeful , the onslaught of misunderstandings driving this conversation straight to hell . one right after the other . no truce flag in sight . almost like a car crash in the making . nobody can do a damn thing to stop it , but nobody can bring themselves to look away either . fist slams down against bar top , confrontation winding up for it's grand finale . " i know i did ! fuck ! but you broke mine too , don't you get that ? you know what that was like ⎯⎯ feelin' you slip away from me ? i'm not sayin' it's an excuse , it's not , but jesus christ i felt like you were already gone ! every single thing i did wasn't good enough , and i fucked up but i loved you . " stare is intense , chest rising and falling , " i love you ! still ! right fuckin' now , i love you ! " violently chucks bottle of jack against the wall , glass and liquor scattering the floor . " fuck this tour , how's that for turning it off ? "