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You're talking over me and suddenly I'm 12 again trying to tell dad how my day was. Your day was more interesting, clearly.

You're talking over me and suddenly I'm 9 again, tearfully trying to explain what I'm finding difficult about the maths I'm learning as you yell at me.

They call us the most spoiled of the family

Its true, to an extent

Yes i got the newest gadgets

or toys when I asked

Nevermind the hand me down clothes

or expired makeup staining my skin

They call us the crybabies of the family

I was too immature to handle the adult conversations

Topics of things I had no business knowing

An age gap between me and my sister

That meant I learned things much too soon

I just wanted her to like me

It's always about the eldest sibling

The ones who raised the others

That's fucking bullshit

I raised my goddamn self

No parents, no siblings, just me

My parents say "you're so responsible"

they say "you're so mature"

But I had no choice

I was six years younger

yet we were treated like we were the same

I learned not to talk back before my sister did

I learned the consequences early

The difference in footsteps

the inflections of tones

so I wasn't a problem

i tried to speak up for years

But it was always the same

"You're so young'

"You don't understand"

"It will make sense when you're older"

Well, i am older

And I understood then

Because you gave me no choice

They say the youngest are the most spoiled

Except I was a kid too. And I would have never done that.

“I bullied you because I was bullied too”

Except I never would have bullied anyone. I never wanted anyone to feel that way

I don’t get everything I want, instead I get everything my siblings wanted and now don’t want.

I’m not my parent’s favorite, instead my parents rarely say anything about me to anybody.

My siblings don’t “love me the most”, instead I’m seen as their problem little sister that needs to be taken care of.

My siblings don’t care what happens in my life as long as it doesn’t affect them, instead my parents have to remind half of them to tell me happy birthday.

Im not innocent and small, instead I know more than I should for my age and a lot taller and stronger than half of them.

I’m not quiet and obedient, Instead I’m “loud and annoying” which makes me self-conscious every time I talk because I’m afraid they don’t want to be there.

I’m not adored, instead I’m loathed.

I’m not care free, instead I worry about asking for things I want because I’m afraid we don’t have enough money for it.

I’m not spoiled, instead my Christmas lists are filled with wishes of socks and hoodies because everyone else still needs stuff, right?

I don’t have problems, instead I downplay my issues to small bits of sadness because my siblings and parents have it worst and I probably deserve it anyways.

I’m not a hoarder, instead I just want to hold on to my childhood because at least I felt loved.

I’m not thankful for my siblings babysitting me when I was younger, instead I’m guilty because I was the reason they couldn’t go out with friends when they were teenagers.

Be nice to your younger siblings, because right now, all I want to do is grow up and move out.