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sentences from amrit brarβs shitty horoscopes series.Β you may adjust as needed.
BOOK I: SUCH TERRIBLE THINGS
β holy fucking shit. just. holy shit. what the fuck. β
β nobody really knows the nuances of what you get up to in your spare time, and honestly theyβre probably better off that way. β
β busy yourself with the affairs of the living, for once.. β
β the answer is no. β
β ohhh boy. you. fuck you. yes, you specifically. β
β delete your search history. β
β please practice blinking as others can be unsettled by your inhuman ability to maintain an unbreakable stare during casual conversation. β
β what did you ever do to deserve this? in all probability, something terrible. β
β you are a crayon. get out of the toolbox. β
β none will love the butcher. donβt take it too personally. β
β some relationships, like warts, can be handled with the tactful application of liquid nitrogen. β
β take a long shower. wash your hair. wash the clothes you were wearing. wash the memories from your mind and body. β
β frostbite is considerably difficult to heal from. β
β there is poetry in brutal efficiency. β
β HELLFIRE HELLFIRE HELLIRE. β
β people would take your raging far more seriously if you werenβt crying the entire time. β
β what made you so vindictive? β
β some bodies may be temples, but all are ruins at your feet. β
β your contempt will always taste like grief. β
β in the process your body is subsumed piece by piece. β
β you are the bone-deep fury of an abscessed tooth. β
β you are notorious for rubbing salt in the wound. cheap vodka in the wound. battery acid in the wound! β
β vehicular arson is not the answer. β
BOOK III: PETTY EXISTENTIAL CRISES
β the sooner you accept your impending expiration, the sooner you can stop trying to swallow the sun. β
β embrace the inevitable. snuggle with the inevitable. take the inevitable out to a nice, candle-lit dinner. β
β there are forces outside of your control. most of them donβt care for you. β
β when it all goes to hell just remember itβs whatβs inside that counts (though many would not find you very appetizing). β
β not all things have significance, which is scary. the things you overlooked tend to have the most, which is scarier. β
β your teeth are only porcelain, your ribcage simply glass. like all delicate things, they can know no permanence. β
β in time youβll learn that βjustβ and βrightβ only mean the same thing when theyβre coming from very specific people. please donβt cry. β
β you may not want to change, but the world is unforgiving and will do it for you anyway. β
β sometimes we put our hearts in the wrong places (what the fuck is it going between your teeth). β
β nothing can stay. β
β you can put all the flowers in your mouth that you fucking want, but dying is dying and rot is rot. β
β loneliness is the fracture that never heals quite right. β
β lay them to rest. β
β they are there, hovering nervously. you will watch the skies. you will wait. β
β there will be scrapes and sutures: viciousness and victory. β
β a cacophony of awe and joy and terror. β
β an eye for an eye. a tooth for a tooth. a knife for the ribs. β
β you will not be swayed by the morally destitute. β
β decay will feed the bloom. β
β devour death like crows, for all the feathers between your teeth. β
β twisting/screaming/uncompromising. every inch. every iota. β
β once, answers were found in mouths, bathtubs, and bottles. this time around, get inventive. β
β lies you have told yourself: your humanity is the largest burden you will bear. β
β decorating your meltdowns is all well and good, but a trainwreck is a trainwreck and it might be time to get a paramedic. β
β they tell you βthere i nothing to fear but fear itself,β but you have seen yourself in the mirror. β
β you may have been gutted but you mouth is soft, your tongue is silver, and your teeth are gemstones cut to size. β
β itβs less like biting off more than you can chew, and more like dislocating your jaw. β
β even spectres can tire. β
β seeing yourself for who you really are would be great if you knew where to start looking. β
β it pays to kill with kindness when youβre your own worst enemy. β
β youβre only armed to the teeth because youβre more brittle than youβd care to admit. β
β your ego cannot afford cremation or caskets. β
β frequent tastes of your own medicine can get poisonous real quick. β
β self reflection is important! whether you like what you see is up for debate. whether it can be contained in a dark basement is another matter entirely. β
β you are a quiet god, and your hunger is cavernous. β
β at times your body is simply a prison laid in gold. β
β death, dust, party, repeat. β
β devour the monsters and you can call any place home. β
β youβre only as lucky as your expectations are low. β
β worse than having too many secrets is having no secrets at all. β
β if seeing is believing you might be in some trouble. β
β suspend belief. expel fear. throw reason into a frigid cell, never to be seen again. β
β killing the monsters is the easy bit. itβs finding them thatβs the hard part. β
β there exists a tipping point between gods and monsters. β
β a mouthful of ashes bested by a life of smoke and mirrors. β
β whatβs to be gained from the keeping the heaviest of treasures behind your teeth? β
