Bangin' on the Dashboard

Hey, @ysojellis, you remember that time at our first ball when you chugged my magnum of vintage 1995 #DomPerignon? That's the sort of price tag. 😉 #poppinbottles #bougie https://www.instagram.com/p/BppEcXfg8dWQGOUInDza3I7OLWNYuq1XlwBh140/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=qe02yiv6imbp

Don't forget to tell your friends about my shitty Tumblr blog, #justfudgeciclethings.

I'd never buy a #Phantom, 28s don't fit. #rollsroyce #goldroyce #seewhatididthere

The bruise on my elbow (#justdrunkpeoplethings) is coming in very nicely. I've decided to henceforth refer to this part of my body as a "yellbow." Because it's yellow. And it's an elbow. #yellbow #checkoutmyscab

You won't even see the heart disease sneaking up on you... #camocheese #easycheese #cheeseinacan

In two months, I will be running the Dallas Marathon in support of a wonderful organization, #TheWingmanFoundation. Inspired by the support they provided to #HMH463, I want to lend my feet to lift their wings. Please take a moment to read the info at the link below and consider donating if you can. https://www.crowdrise.com/dallas-marathon/fundraiser/elizabethellis1 #rundallas #allheart #runforgood #marathon #charity #usmc #aviation

#engineering #seriesoftubes #usyaypart2

My most sincere gratitude to the unknown Australian soldier who lost this epaulette so that I may have a most useful kitchen tool. Your lack of being squared away had passively influenced my life. #potholder #camouflage #whydoexpensiveasspotshavehothandles? #copperpot #blessed

Which side are you on? #thetracks #wrongsideofthetracks #wandering

That sign says nothing about feeding squirrels... #leftoverquesadilla

#Google is a powerful tool. #factcheck #themoreyouknow

Dear My Ex-Boyfriend, Robert - I trusted you. You were my musical divining rod. You were in charge of planning our time in the UK together during the summer of 2000. You were the one who always knew about all of the cool concerts. We went to so many concerts. You were the one that first turned me on to @anidifranco. And you know how I have loved #bloodhoundgang since their first album. But you failed me. While we were in the UK, there was a concert in Spain. Spain. Where your grandparents live. Spain. Right there. And this concert featured both Ani and BHG - a combination so rare I make jokes about it happening. But it happened. And you didn't tell me. We could have gone. I trusted you. You failed me. For this, there is no forgiveness. Your Ex FOREVER, Elizabeth PS, if we were still together today, we would not be tomorrow.

Finished my latest book on #oceancurrents and found the poem I'd like etched on my biodegradable sea-urn. #burialatsea #curtisebbesmeyer

@realjerseyrob has #pigtails! I repeat, ROB HAS PIGTAILS.