kannol

to forgive yourself, you have to take accountability first. apologise to your past, present, and future self; your body, your mind, and your soul. this can be done by writing a letter to yourself, detailing your shortcomings. instead, you could also look in the mirror and apologise to the person staring back at you; the person you didn't take care of.

apologise for the times you didn't tend to your body; the times you didn't shower, brush your teeth, skipped meals, etc.

be accountable for the hours you spent on your phone instead of working on school or hobbies.

admit that you have put your feelings aside, forgotten your desires, your future, and so on.

now, vow to treat yourself better than that because you deserve better treatment.

that's it; you've forgiven yourself! you should be so proud of yourself.

your body forgives you. your mind forgives you. your soul forgives you.

2 - check in with yourself

ask yourself the following questions:

your body

are you hungry or thirsty?

when was the last time you used the bathroom?

did you brush your hair and change your clothes today?

do you have enough time/energy to take a shower or brush your teeth today?

your mind

what is your screen time?

did you finish at least 1 task you wanted to finish today?

what content did you consume today?

did you take actual breaks today?

scrolling on social media doesn't count!

your soul

are you worried about something?

when was the last time you talked to a loved one?

have you had at least 5 minutes to unwind today?

are you overwhelmed?

after answering these questions, you can understand what triggers you into having an unproductive and agitated mood. keep track of these. write them down in your journal, your notes app - somewhere you'll look at every day. this will make you aware of a dark time in the early stages.

3 - move on

you are now a changed person. you've not only taken accountability and forgave yourself, but you've also promised to change. in fact, you've already made progress by reflecting on your triggers.

you should be incredibly proud of yourself. look at you go!

to really solidify the redefinition of yourself, describe this new version of yourself. how does the reinvented you:

act?

speak?

dress?

tackle difficult situations?

persue your education, career, and relationships?

4 - check your habits

what's stopping you from success could be your own ambitions. you don't expect an untrained horse to win a race. similarly, you don't expect a horse that hasn't trained in a while to win either.

sometimes, instead of setting habits, we set end goals, but nothing we can accomplish right now. but to reach those goals, you have to create realistic steps first. these are not too difficult to do, and the more you are consistent with that habit, the more you can gradually increase its difficulty.

for instance, if you wish to complete an hour-long workout every day but don't have the energy, you have to start small. instead, you could opt for a 15-minute low intensity workout. after a whole week of consistency, you could increase this to a 20-minute high intensity workout. in a few weeks, you'll hit your target.

5 - be disciplined

you may think this is the most difficult part. in 2 weeks of consistent action, you can stick to a habit. the easiest ways to maintain a habit are by being proactive, habit stacking, and reasoning it out.

be prepared

create reminders or alarms if you're forgetful.

set up the items you need from the night before. if you wish to read first thing in the morning, leave the book on your bedside table so you see it as soon as you wake up.

have an accountability buddy. find someone that you care about and who will cheer you on. you'll be too embarrassed to not finish the habit.

alternatively, have an accountability blog. post a daily log detailing your success and your shortcomings of the day.

be proactive

you're not always going to have the energy to do 100%. to counter this, you can set a minimum that you are able to do even when you're exhausted.

let's say you wish to study for an hour every day. when you're not feeling like yourself, aim for half an hour.

similar to this, i also work with "habit menus." let me know if you're interested in learning more about this!

habit stacking

habit stacking is grouping particular habits to form a routine. this grouping is made due to the convenience of doing these tasks.

let's take a simple morning routine:

you use the bathroom after waking up.

since you need to change anyways, you might as well take a shower.

while you're showering, you can easily brush your teeth and wash your face since you're using the water.

during the time you take to dry up, you can quickly use moisturiser.

reason it out

what's really the point of doing it? you might ask yourself. take a deep breath and a step back. let's look at your habits from another perspective.

imagine yourself not doing the habit at all. what are the short term benefits?

more time to relax

less responsibility

however, what are the long term effects?

not reaching your goal

never bettering yourself

less experiences

less responsible

do the short term benefits really outweigh the long term effects? of course not. you're better than that.

conclusion

don't be your own saboteur. in life, you can only be sure that you'll have yourself. be your own cheerleader, your biggest fan. remember: your future self will appreciate it!

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