guy number one: the hamster face. he was funny but he just wanted to have sex with me, even tho he actually never asked me out and he stood me up three times when i made clear i wasn't interested in something casual

guy number two: the russian. he seemed a great guy to be friend with, so we ended up going out one single time and after that he disappeared. he ghosted me within a week and i still don't understand what was the problem

guy number three: the writer (he's russian too actually, maybe i've a pattern). oh he destroyed me. we started texting and he seemed so interesting, so bright. i liked him instantly but i was suuuper careful, he had just come out of a long relationship. he really seemed to have a pure interest in me, he wrote poems about me, he dedicated me stuff and we started to share music and everything. we called everyday for like hours. hours!!! i told him i was afraid he was just projecting on me, that i thought he just missed feeling loved and that i was the fist person that popped up. he assured me he really cared about me and i trusted him. just to be dumped a few days later cause "i feel this is not the best thing for me at the moment, i need to focus on myself" blabla. i cried so hard. i felt so stupid but i agreed on remaining friends. it lasted a few more months and then he just stopped searching for me. so yeah, it sucks.