curiouser and curiouser...

❛    dunno if there’d be any, but let me know if you find them - or it - i guess.     ❜

will do! i’m christopher, by the way.

All the struggles these two have gone through in the matter of months after this war was enough to make someone’s spirits drop to the lowest. If Ricky had given up on trying to reach the little happiness he had when he was a kitten with a full family, he may not have fallen in the path of Christopher. The small encounters at home were enough to peak interest, but being the same species as him fully gave him the ( little ) confidence to interact more. Seeking for a friendship, he gained something more. Something that felt better.

i feel it’s only right for me to ask you to be my boyfriend then, huh ?? [ the words made christopher giddy inside, the thought of ricky being his boyfriend. When Christopher was little, his mother had soothed him with all the ideas about people who would love him for who he was.It was all he dreamt about as he grew up, and  Christopher had been able to find acceptance in friendships outside of Wonderland. After the separation of the different Wonderlanders, Christopher had never expected any of them to be his friend, let alone be his boyfriend. ]

A warmth filled Ricky as he smiled widely, hiding his face in Christopher’s shoulder again. “T-this is great..” He said softly, pulling the other closer in a tighter hug. A hint of sadness was still there, but he was overtaken with so many other positive emotions that it didn’t seem to matter. “I love you.. I-i love you, I love you, I love you!” A string of i love you’s came rushing out his mouth cheerfully as he shifted his body so he was laying on top of Christopher. Resting his chin on his chest, he looked up at the blue eyes and chuckled softly. “I love you.” He whispered for what felt like the hundredth time. Was he going overboard? Probably. Ricky didn’t care though. If he could yell from the rooftops, he would. 

[ a wide smile crossed his face. christopher thought that when this moment came, he would be overwhelmed, or spitting out random facts as he tends to do when nervous, but that wasn’t the case. everything felt right, as if this is what was meant to happen all along. yes, it took a war on their home planet, a drunken kiss, and a lot of sneaking around to get here, but it was worth it. ]

❛    i don’t … understand the point of april fool’s day. what’s the deal?     ❜

well, it seems a bit unfair april is the only one who gets a fool’s day. why isn’t every first day of each month a fool’s day ??

Ricky didn’t respond, letting out the remaining tears. He cried for what seemed like forever until he finally calmed down enough to focus on his breathing and the light touches he felt on his back. At first, he thought of it as aimless; just trying to bring forth a feeling to focus on besides the hurt. Ricky furrowed his brows, face still against Christopher’s chest as he tried to make out each movement. Confused at first, he silently spoke each letter in his mind trying to make sense of it until it clicked. The three words he didn’t know he was waiting for came about. In a way, they justified his existence and made it a sure thing that Christopher wouldn’t be going anywhere any time soon. Shifting slightly after wiping his face with his inner shirt again, he looked up at him with puffy features. “Y-you too.. I.. I l-love you too.” He said softly, eyes closing as he met his forehead with his.

[ there was a sort of awe that fell over christopher as ricky spoke those words to him. no, there was no nervousness as before, before he let him know it was mutual. normally in these types of situations, christopher would be flustered, rattling off random facts as before. but NOW, everything seemed r i g h t. there was no fear from before, only LOVE. ] i love you [ he leans forward to peck his lips ] i just wanted to saw it out loud so you knew for sure.

Ricky let out a shaky breath as he pulled Christopher’s arms closer to him after he had felt the kiss on his shoulder. “ I-i’m s-sorry. I.. I sho-should’ve said something earlier and not h-hide things f-from you. Y-you d-don’t deserve that.. I don’t d-deserve y.. yo..” His sobs grew louder as he tried getting out the last word, turning quickly to bury his face in Christopher’s chest. The tears began rolling down his face again as he wrapped his arms around the blond boy that he cherished so much, that he adored so much, that he loved so much.

hey--- [ he whispered soothingly ] you don’t need to apologize, love. that was before everything, before... us. this changes nothing. just because you were with someone else before we became what we are now, doesn’t mean you don’t deserve happiness or whatever you want. you deserve the WORLD, ricky.[ christopher had been tracing the words ‘ i love you ‘ delicately upon the boy’s soft skin, expressing words he was afraid to let spill ]

You have me. Until every last star in the galaxy dies.  You have me.

we’re in love during the war. does it make each moment more precious, or does it make each moment more difficult?

( a mess. that’s what he was, is, and always will be ) Ricky was crying silent tears, refusing to open his eyes. He sniffled loudly as he heard humming by his ears. ( christopher was so g o o d to him. he wasn’t worthy enough to be with someone as AMAZING as christopher ) Ricky used the inside of his shirt to wipe away the excess snot and the hot tears running down his cheeks. Ricky breathed shakily as he tried to focus on his breathing and Christopher humming, opening his eyes slowly to stare at the blank wall. 

[ christopher heard ricky sniffle, and his heart hurt. ricky was so SPECIAL, to him and the world, and to see him like this ?? ricky didn’t d e s e r v e to ever feel this kind of sadness. christopher wished he could do something more { or maybe even find a way where people got levels of emotions based on their character-- that way ricky would always be happy because he deserved that much }. christopher paused his humming to plant a kiss on ricky’s shoulder, hoping that would mean more than words at the moment. ]

Ricky quickly hung up the phone and curled into the comfort of his duvet. He heard his phone vibrate which only caused him to shut his eyes tight and curl into the safety of his bed more. ( to think that christopher would still want to be with him after hearing that ) He knows that he was the many firsts for Christopher; and it pained him to know that Christopher wasn’t his. Hearing a knock on his door, he shook his head as he practically buried himself into the mattress. Tears were threatening to fall when he heard the door creak open. ( why was he even crying? he doesn’t d e s e r v e to feel sorry for himself ) To his surprise, he felt the arms he loved wrap around him and he held his breath as the tears leaked out through his tightly shut eyes. 

[ christopher wasn’t mad, or upset at ricky { although there was a part of him deep down that felt jealous that he was not the first for ricky, that there had been someone else } his concern was FOR ricky, and his state of mind. maybe he shouldn’t have pried, maybe it was good this was out in the open now rather than later, christopher wasn’t sure. he hummed quietly in ricky’s ear, having read that sometimes calmed people. ]