a kind of sick desperation in your laugh.

“ Sucks, really, because Tuesday used to be my poker night. I had the worst face out of everyone though, so maybe it’s for the best! As long as I get used to the slight jolt of pure terror and adrenaline, huh? I’m just kidding, it’ll be grand. Maybe I’ll get so good at running away, because I’m the worst at assimilating, that they’ll ask me to join the track team. Hey, stranger, don’t downplay yourself on my watch, you got it? I know it was top secret work. That’s why you’re the best for helping me out. I owe you my life as a death-threat-free-man.  “

❛    please don’t owe me your life. i’m not sure i’d know what to do with it.     ❜

“ Yeah, no, m’fine. Just small cuts this time, no blood or ‘nything … gotta clean it up, make sure I don’t get anyone else hurt is all. “

hm, that seems like a really good question. perhaps i should go try and find a book on the origins of april fool’s day. 

❛    dunno if there’d be any, but let me know if you find them - or it - i guess.     ❜

“ Probably? Um. I dunno what happened to it. T-this one, though — I almost tripped, and didn’t, but the cup fell. S’nothing serious. “

       “ Well, I would never participate in April Fool’s Day stupidity, if that’s any consolation. The people who get really, scarily into it are usually creeps who use the holiday as an excuse to unveil their creep identity to the world. I admit every year I wait in anticipation, hoping one of the secret creeps’ll try something on me so I can flip them bodily into the floor. ”

❛    that’s good to hear. ... have you ever had the chance to flip anyone ‘cause of a prank, or are you still waiting for the chance?     ❜

“ …You’re kidding me! No, I’ve gotta believe you’re just pulling my leg here. Right? You’re not telling me the death threats and the high speed hallway chase are just a regular Tuesday. Aw, man! I’m the worst at blending in long-term. And also at not talking to people. Well, thanks. I’m sure it was very important but top secret, but thank you for halting in your business to grant me my last chance to be a permanent-death-threat free man. “

well, it seems a bit unfair april is the only one who gets a fool’s day. why isn’t every first day of each month a fool’s day ??

❛                   why are any of them?     ❜

        “ I am nearly positive that the sole purpose of the holiday is to make other people look like fools. A nice, family-friendly, light-hearted, mean-spirited day of celebration. ”

“Let me cut to the chase: how much d’you want to switch rooms with me?”

“ …So, do you mind if I sit here? I sort of tripped and ran into someone and as I was saying sorry they were making death threats and it just turned into this whole ordeal and I made a run for it. Ran into a wall. I’m trying to blend in right now. “

“Then let’s see it! You got a bow and arrow lying around somewhere?”

❛                        no lets go find one!     ❜