She is my Evangeline.

to the casual observer it may look like i'm trying to summon a demon but anyone who knows me will realize that i am simply calling my wife

The wife and the demon are the same person

The fact that these replies would mean wildly different thing had they been said on a different platform, such as Facebook, is absolutely hilarious

white person acts like a decent person for once, and the crowd goes wild!!!!

Look at this fucking chad

Damn.

I don’t want to hear what you have to say unless it’s both stupid and absurd

jesus had his palms gauged 

Tooth fairies are a smaller and friendlier subspecies of the larger and much more hostile bone fairies.

Thank you for this bespoke nightmare

bro forget that how much money do i get for a femur under my pillow

Roger is the bad bitch of the galaxy

oh… the tea is hot

this post has brought me nothing but suffering since it has entered my life