PLACE FOR ME TO BE SELF-CENTeRED! FUCK YOU!

the fact there is no socially acceptable way to put your life on pause when all you can think about is wanting to commit will never not baffle me. like, wow, you'd rather me commit and grieve about how pitiful of a life i lived rather than give me like a week long vacation to keep me around? seems very self-serving if you ask me.

why haven't you killed me yet?

rot in hell bitch!

you did not become a bad person, you always have been. ✪

very nice to see that both of my exes succumbed to drug use. like yeah, that thing that made you cut me off, and that thing i tried to warn the other you to use less of? glad you're still having fun with it on a daily basis. i'll be happy to read your obituaries soon.

i think i'm starting to get tired of masking irl again. not really masking my mental health but masking my thoughts and feelings spurred on by it (i see them as seperate). i masked for so many years irl and now i'm back at a breaking point and help is happening so slowly sometimes i just want to scream about how much i want to commit rn and see if they finally listen.

i used to go to bed scared i would die in my sleep but now i hope for it.

i hate being so insecure. i wish i was more confident in simply existing.

i don't know how i have had so much self control this entire time. years have passed and yet i have barely done anything for my own benefit. i am tired of catering to the others within this vessel. i am tired.