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my love language is not having to ask

lately when i've been going to bed i've been trying to imagine a darker shade of red than i did the night before

rothko sleep

i keep thinking about how it feels as if we have developed ourselves an obsession with "healing" these days – and a friend said something that really stuck in my head – "if you're part of a community where you're always trying to heal, then that means that you always need to be sick". like i think that we're all taking this ideal of healing too far saying that everybody needs therapy all the time and resetting your gut biome or surrounding yourself with positive energy or whatever it is that you can come up with. you're always focusing on something that is "wrong" and that needs to be eliminated, after which everything will be okay again. it all sounds like just another way of maintaining an illusion of control over your life and i don't think it's doing us any good

I think i met an angel on the train

This older man moved my skirt aside and I absent-mindedly said "oh sorry" for being partially in his seat and he said "dont be sorry, this is new york" and then showed me all his poetry about observing the world and living as a restaurant worker during the pandemic and we talked about how i worked in a grocery store and as a bartender so i resonated with his work and he told me "i may never meet you again but it's nice to meet someone worth talking to. I might sound like a world class idiot sage, but you can't be afraid. That's no way to live. You have to trust your humanity." Then he shook my hand and got off the stop before me. Hello. Hello . Hello.

painting of joan of arc but she's got a lil carabiner. is this anything.