'tis the damn season
features: hajime iwaizumi x gn!reader (no pronouns used, written in 2nd person)
submission for: @woahsamu’s “It's Always Been You” Collab | song: ’tis the damn season - taylor swift | type of writing: oneshot | trope: slice of life, exes to lovers | wc: 2530
summary: when you come back to japan for the holiday season, while walking along the sidewalk enjoying the snow, a chance encounter with your ex reminds you how much you miss and still love him.
content warnings: partial haikyuu timeskip spoilers, suggestive themes, hurt/comfort, talks of the breakup, talks of commitment-phobia, the reader's being called baby, love
beta reading: @mxonigirimiya @portfolio-of-dreams @mrskenmakozume (ily all thank you so much <333) | networks: @hanayanetwork @tokyometronetwork
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a/n: when i first chartered my list of fics i was going to write for tumblr, i had a fleeting idea for this song along with iwa, and when the collab came into existence, i knew what i had to do: bring the idea to fruition. taylor swift's one of my favs (y'all know this lol), so it's no surprise that my writing's based on one of her songs. plus, I thought of creating a moodboard instead of the usual banner. also, this is based on a two-year relationship i'd had with my ex in uni before i left for the states and he decided to stay in india and prepare for civil services exam. as always, likes, reblogs, and comments, especially reblogs are appreciated.
It had been a cold, chilly winter in Miyagi. The temperatures were almost unbearable. Taking a deep breath, you rubbed both of your mitten-covered hands together while blowing a warm breath in between them. While listening to calming music with your hands in your pockets, you walked along the sidewalk enjoying the snow. Suddenly, you paused along the tracks and took out your earphones, when you recognized a familiar face. One that you know all too well. While his familiar dark brown spiky hair was covered by a dark green beanie with dinosaurs on it, your gaze caught the man's olive-green irises. You took a step back in surprise, your breath caught in your throat, placing one hand on your chest as you realized who it was.
A soft smile spread across his face as he walked toward you. At that moment, you closed your eyes and took deep breaths as you tried to conceal your flushed cheeks, with all the memories you two shared flashing through your mind. From making fun of his best friend, Tooru Oikawa, to pranking the pranksters of Aoba Johsai, Matsukawa and Hanamaki, to going out on different dates: for coffee, for movies, for volleyball matches, for karaoke. The way you used to text each other, passing around secret notes, exchanging love letters, having clandestine encounters in the corridors, everything. He was your first kiss, your first love, and the one to whom you chose to lose your virginity, and as they say, “you never forget your first love.” You also felt a tug on your chest as you remembered the day you broke up with him.
You had seen many long-distance relationships break, and while you were amazed at how your parents could manage when they were apart for so long, with your father being in the merchant navy, nevertheless, you were scared that you would end up in the same situation. As a result, you dropped the bomb on Hajime Iwaizumi and told him why you had to end the relationship when he revealed that he was moving to the United States to study sports sciences and eventually work for a person he looked up to, Utsui Takashi. The truth is, you loved him too much to let him go. You loved the way he stood by your side whenever things weren’t going so well. You loved being engulfed in his embraces, and more so, you loved being lost in his kisses, every touch of his sending shivers down your spine. You knew he always treated you right; you especially experienced it, but you were afraid your relationship wouldn’t stand the test of time. In addition, he could see there was something wrong with you from miles away, but he never knew what it was until you revealed it to him.
When he heard what you felt, he was very upfront with you, albeit his gaze at you was laced with melancholy. “You know, baby,” he responded, with his shoulders drooping, “I’m actually hurt that you would think that our relationship would fade away as we meet different people, because trust me, what you and I have, I don’t think I can ever have that with anyone. However,” he reached out for both of your hands and held them, saying, “I’ll always be grateful for the memories we had together. I strongly believe that we’ll still find a way to each other, no matter what.” He then cupped your cheeks and planted a farewell kiss before leaving your house, concluding, “That’s because it’s always been you, my love. Always and forever.”
As you opened your eyes, you noticed him standing in front of you. He always had a great sense of fashion, wearing a pair of dark blue jeans with an oversized dark blue denim jacket over a grey hoodie. He was known to make things look good on him. He smiled at you, ever so softly, with his gaze never leaving yours. Unbeknownst to you, a warm smile crept upon your face, as you muttered your first word to him in years: “hey.” He also replied with a single word: “hey,” as you two stopped talking for a while, oddly finding comfort in the silence you two were sharing. You tilted your head and asked him, “It’s been a hot minute, Iwaizumi. When did you come back?” He let out a small chuckle, responding, “You know that you can still call me Hajime, right? I came back a couple of days ago for the holidays. I’ll be here until the second week of January.” Nodding, you weren’t sure as to how you could continue the conversation until an idea popped up in your head. “So, um,” you hesitated, before continuing, “Let’s walk together, to Sakanoshita and get some pork buns. What do you think?” He grinned at you, responding, “I thought you’d never ask.”
The walk to the store was not a silent one; instead, you two handled small talk well. You learned that Hajime was about to complete his senior year in undergrad in sports sciences and will be interning under Utsui Takashi, his role model, after college. He then reveals that Takashi turned out to be the father of his and Tooru Oikawa’s high school nemesis: Wakatoshi Ushijima. You both shared a light-hearted chuckle as he continued, saying that after the internship was over, he intended to work as a full-time athletic trainer and that he was attempting to become the trainer for the Japan National Volleyball Team for the upcoming Tokyo Olympics. For some reason, this gave you a glimmer of hope.
As you two bought a couple of pork buns from Keishin, nodding at both of you before leaving the store, he was about to ask you whether you were currently seeing anybody when you interrupted him by telling him that you were pursuing your final year in your college studies in Tokyo with Tetsuro Kuroo, an alumnus of Nekoma High School, and you were set to work alongside him in the Japanese Volleyball Association. While his enthusiasm seemed to have died a little bit, thinking that you were probably seeing the former Nekoma captain, you then cleared your throat and confessed to him, something that he found oddly assuring.
“I don’t know where you stand, relationship-wise, but you were right, Hajime. I dated other guys, not Kuroo, because I told him about you, and we just became friends, but I dated other guys, and they weren’t you. They could never be you.”
As he held your hands in silence, a single tear drop streamed down his cold cheeks as he smiled in response to your confession. While you were confused as to what that meant, he asked you in a soft voice, “Do you still stay with your parents, or did you get an apartment of your own?” With a tint of blush hitting your cheeks, you nodded, replying, “I do stay on my own in Tokyo, but here I stay with my parents. However, they’ve gone to Bangkok to visit my relatives, and I told them that I'd be joining them soon, so until then, I live alone. Did you want to come over and spend some time?” He shook his head in denial, replying, “Not until you truly are ready to be with me again.”
Furrowing your eyebrows at him, he continued, “If I do end up coming over, the good memories will return, and I'll want you to commit to me. There’s no middle ground anymore, (y/n). It’s either we get back together, or we stay as acquaintances.” You were taken aback at his confidence. For a moment, you pondered and realized that he had never stopped having feelings for you. Respecting his opinion, you nodded, and suddenly, an idea popped into your head. “So,” you said, “I’ll not be here for long. Maybe a week or so. Until then, would it be okay if we hung out at your place with Mattsun and Makki, and during that time, we can see whether the feelings still exist, and we can, um, give it a go.” Smiling, he nodded in agreement. “Alright, seems fair. We can do that.”
He then called Mattsun and Makki and urged them to come to his house with a couple of board games and to set up video cameras to surprise someone that was coming home after a while. As you two ate your now lukewarm pork buns while walking to Hajime’s house, you started talking about the crazy moments that happened to the both of you while you were away working on your goals. Upon reaching the house, your memories come back as to how you met him in the first place. You then opened the door to find the boys shocked that you had come back, and as you looked at the video camera to their right that caught their expressions, you and Hajime laughed at them, much to their chagrin.
As the days went by, you four hung out often at Hajime’s house, playing different kinds of board games,exercising, watching movies, and catching up with each other. You would even video call Oikawa to surprise him, and he’d whine with a pouty face, “Why am I not there now?” to which you’d reply, “because someone chose to fly to exotic places over us,” with the rest of you cackling and laughing at the milkbread-loving setter. What was seemingly oblivious to Mattsun and Makki was that there were stolen glances exchanged between the both of you, you found your hands brushing against each other often, and you would mistake other people’s names for each other. One day, someone had dropped cutlery, and while you’d kneeled to pick some spoons and forks up, you noticed Iwaizumi kneeling to pick up the same, causing your faces to be a couple of centimeters apart, and as you two realized that the tension between you was so strong that you could use a knife to cut through it, you gulped a little bit of air down your throat.
The day before you were about to leave for Bangkok, you called him and started cajoling him, “Hajime, I need to talk to you. Would you be able to come over, please?” Exhaling a deep breath, he replied, “Okay, fine. I’m on my way.” You were pacing around the living room for fifteen minutes, confused as to why you were feeling this way until the doorbell rang and you rushed to open the door. When you unlocked the door, Hajime was standing on the front porch, shivering. His hands were in the muff of the dark blue hoodie, with his hood down so that you could see him clearly. His hair was disheveled as if he had run his hands through it one too many times. You let him in, a panting mess, looking as if he had just been jogging in the chilly weather. As you two sat on the warm couch near the fireplace, you knelt down.
This time you were the one holding his hands, causing him to widen his eyes. “Hajime, when I told you that all those people that I dated could never be you, I meant it. Sure, I was commitment-phobic as hell, and you know that, and I was scared that that would disturb our relationship should we go long-distance, because I’d be doubting you constantly, be jealous, and have all kinds of negativity in my head, but the truth is, I love you, Hajime. I always have, and I want you to be my boyfriend, and me to be your partner. I want to go ahead and fully commit myself to you, come what may. Always and forever, right?”
Smiling at you, he then cupped your cheeks, brought your face forward, and kissed you on your lips. No sooner did that happen than you enveloped yourselves in a deep kiss, eventually causing the two of you to peel the clothes off each other’s bodies. Every touch, every kiss, every action had the power to convey how much you still loved each other at this very moment more than words ever could.
An hour had passed since you two made love after four years, and you had wrapped yourselves in a blanket, sipping on some hot chocolate in front of the fireplace, nuzzling against each other. Suddenly, either one of the phones buzzes as Hajime kisses your forehead as he goes to the strewn pile of clothes and not only gets out his phone, which just had his alarm ringing, but also a small box. As you narrowed your vision to the small box, a number of thoughts spawned in your head. “Wait, is he asking me to marry him already?” You think to yourself. “Isn’t that too soon?” However, as Hajime brings the box to you and opens it, it didn’t seem like an expensive diamond ring, but it was one of those even more expensive platinum bands that must have been bought from a jeweler’s shop.
He then tells you, “(y/n), I’ve been aware of your fear of commitment ever since your cousin had a messy divorce, and your best friend’s eleven-year old relationship ended. When you broke up with me, while I was sad and heartbroken and you were citing your inability to commit, I imagined something: that years later, you'd tell me that you wanted to commit to me, and whenever you did so, I’d give you this ring. It’s not an engagement ring, it’s a promise ring. With this, baby,” He slides the ring onto your left ring finger and says, “I promise to love you and cherish you whenever you’re ready to take the next steps in the relationship, and I promise to walk alongside you, because baby,” he then holds both of your hands while saying, "There wasn’t anyone else in my life that I dated other than you, especially when I went to the States because I couldn't imagine anyone else but you by my side. It was always you, (y/n). Always and forever.”
Tears streamed down your cheeks as your gaze met with his. You then cupped his cheeks and kissed him on the lips, with both of your “I love you”s reverberating throughout the whole house. The next day, the quarter of the Seijoh 4 helped you pack your bags, and Hajime drove you to the airport. As he stopped in front of the airport, he saw you twiddling your thumbs while subconsciously biting your lower lip. He took one hand and intertwined his fingers with yours as you turned in his direction. He smiled at you, saying, “I promise you, love, this is not the end of us. In fact, it’s just the beginning.” Both of you were then engulfed in a warm embrace for what felt like an eternity. As you got out of the car and got your belongings, you then gave Hajime a kiss before leaving for Bangkok. If you learned anything from this trip, it was that ‘tis the damn season’s fault for bringing you two back together, because that kiss wouldn’t certainly be the last.
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