It’s been a while since I wrote in this journal. Things have gone… backwards, somehow. John Frusciante left the band in 1992, and we got a guitarist, guitarist… and another guitarist, Dave Navarro. Honestly, I didn’t know much about him when he joined. I only know him from the band ‘Jane’s Addiction', who once performed in our shop, and from Perry. I don’t know how Anthony managed to recruit him, but he’s here, helping us as a guitarist and as a barista. I’m super grateful for his appearance, but, at the same time, I really miss John.
These years have been rough. Anthony has been using drugs more often than before. He was literally gone for 2 weeks until Dave found him. Everything is just falling apart. With AK going back to drugs, I feel like I’m losing connection with him. I tried to convince him to stop, but nothing worked. Even so, Anthony still writes a couple of songs, and the coffee shop is still open every day. Chad is still in the band, though, he’s more quiet now… He would talk to Dave but rarely spoke with us. Dave is trying to fit in even though I try to avoid him, like I'm keeping my energy for someone. I’m still going through a heartbreak. I let Anthony speak with me because he is my best friend, so I always have time for him… Maybe that’s why the coffee shop was awfully quiet.
We started playing our new album to our customers. We called it ‘One Hot Minute'. To be honest, not a lot of people like it. I don’t like it that much either. Dave is unique. I love his guitar playing and how he made our songs different in a good way. He is trying to be unique and has great taste overall. But Dave made some riffs that didn't match my bass play, which made it harder to work on. Took us nearly a year to finish it, but hey, it’s finished.
The reason I opened this journal back at exactly 22:00 and wrote all of this is because something happened today. I’ve been seeing Anthony and Dave being strangely close these past few weeks. There’s something between them I can’t quite understand—but, to be fair, he always acted this way whenever we had a guitarist, but Dave acts differently. Anthony trusts him more than I expected. He would occasionally go over to Dave’s house to get high together. I would’ve thought Dave would try to stop him from doing drugs, especially when he was the one who found Anthony back then. Whenever Anthony gets sick, Dave is always there, taking him to the hospital. In the coffee shop, Anthony constantly teases Dave, though every now and then, they would be fighting in the middle of the shift. Both me and Chad were really confused.
But I have this weird feeling coming out of me. I never thought I would say this, especially knowing Anthony also had a jealous feeling towards me and John’s relationship, but I did feel that way. God, this is stupid. I should’ve been the one by his side, and all I got was him ignoring me most of the time, even on shift. It feels like we’re just co-workers now when we’ve been friends for ages. I feel like I lost a half of myself. I have nothing against Dave. He’s one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met if he’s sober, but I don’t want to blame Anthony either.
Enough of me talking about ‘Flea and Anthony’. We’re talking about ‘Anthony and Dave’ today! In the end, I don’t mind their relationship. I’m glad Anthony found someone to be comfortable with instead of being friends with a stranger who he used them for drugs.
Today, we had a show since all of us needed some money. I need it so Clara and I can have a vacation. While the others probably did it because they need the money to get high. We started off by playing Warped in front of the audience, and everything went smoothly. Chad and his crazy drums were hard to ignore. Love his lil’ improvisation. Dave was rocking with his guitar, and Anthony was just having fun like usual.
We almost finished the song until Dave stepped closer to Anthony and started kissing him! My jaw dropped so hard I’m surprised it didn’t roll away! I know we aren’t that famous. I mean, c’mon, we're just a coffee shop… I just realized one of the songs in our album is called Coffee Shop too. No one’s going to blow our business out of proportion. But the crowd was pretty big tonight. I kept looking back at them and at the audience.
Clarification: I like homosexual people. Heck, I once wore a drag before. What have you got on me?! But I’m just worried. This is the 90s. It’s not like people are going to accept queer people later too.. Surprisingly, people were cheering when they kissed. Of course, I saw someone being disgusted. Grown-ass man couldn’t handle love. I will never be disgusted. I like homosexual, but I’m not them. I like them but I’m not them.
I tried to continue until we were finished, but then, as I tried to get closer to Chad’s drum, Anthony sat on the floor, legs straightened. Dave sat beside him and slowly laid down his head on his lap. I raised my eyebrows, and slowly, I looked at Chad. His expressions were… Empty, nothing on his face, but his hands were still smashing the drum. He then looked at me and shrugged. I can tell from that expression—well, I don’t want to get into people’s business unless they tell me about it. But, there’s got to be something happening between Chad and Dave. Have you seen them talking together? Hey, you know what? I don’t care!
Anddd, the song ended… But that’s the first song, our opener for the show. I can’t believe that happened immediately when the show started. I didn’t know how to feel at that moment. What if they start fucking? No, right? But, nah, they didn’t do much after that. Dave is still acting a bit clingy toward Anthony. Anthony was smiling so wide, it’s been a while to see him this happy in a while. In the end, that show is the best tip we got haha!
After the show, we all went back to making coffee, and I asked Anthony, what was that about.
And Anthony just chuckled, “It’s just a performance. We planned on it. I kissed loads of guys anyway—and that doesn’t mean I’m gay. Besides, even if rumours start, it won’t be too serious. People know that I’m a straight dude and Dave is too. We don’t have any romantic relationship, trust me.”
When I was listening to that, I only nodded along. That guy is always being truthful about his dating and sexuality. So, I trust him on that. I’m not sure I trust the whole Dave part, though. Perry told me Dave kissed a lot of men before. That guy gotta be bisexual, at least.
“Hey, Michael Balzary here. There’s actually a rumor about him being flamboyantly gay who was dying of AIDS. AK was shocked about it and the rumor might have come from that kiss in ’95. I told him about this and he didn’t listen!”
