I used to be so fucking bitter over our relationship and now I'm just thankful I got to date my best fucking friend. Idk mind shifts are really cool

i’m going through some really weird stuff right now, not really bad or good just weird i dont know but i went to reach out to you last night but panicked and deleted the message instead and i just miss my best friend and i keep thinking about all the things we had planned to do once i got here and i havent even done any of them yet because i guess theres no one i really want to do them with other than you and i just idk you pop into my head every day and i really hope youre doing okay. i really wish i knew what i know now because life is weird without my best friend. 

Yo guys I'm just super happy? I'm finally moving on with my life, I got a super cool girlfriend and she's so funny and I feel safe and she's just really great and schools going pretty well and I'm not stressing about money anymore and I get to see all my family soon and everything's just coming back together again idk life is happy ya know

You know every time I would start talking to someone and have a crush, I'd always think of you in the back of my mind and think maybe one day you'd come around and I knew I would drop everything and everyone if you did. and now like I met this fucking girl and like....there's no what if you come back anymore. I don't care if you come back now, you know? I really fucking like this girl. I can't remember the last time I went multiple hours without thinking about you every single day and within the past three days, your name has only crossed my mind a couple times. Yesterday was the first time I kissed someone since you and I felt my whole fucking heart light up. I'm going to do everything I can do to have this girl around me. She's good. She's really fucking good for me and I haven't been able to really ever confidently say that. For the past year and a half I would talk about how "happy" I was because I didn't want you to know I was really fucking sad. I would pretend I was fine without you. But fuck, I'm actually fucking happy. I'm so happy. This girl is fucking special. And now you're just fading into the past, you're no longer my present and I'm no longer hopeful for a future with you.