Jules 🚬🔪

Jihyo seems to understand that contradicting you only makes you cry harder, so she tries a different approach. “Well, you could always date Mingyu? You’ve known him for so long—“

“Mingyu?!” Your eyes nearly pop out of their sockets at the suggestion. “He’s ridiculously out of my league! He’s literally the last person on Earth who would date me.”

“Ok, scratch that,” Jihyo appeases you. While she could argue that your chances were high considering how close you and Mingyu were, she doesn’t think you’re in the mood to listen. “Ask Mingyu for help instead.”

You think about it. Mingyu’s been your friend even before either of you could walk or speak full sentences. He’s seen you at your highest and your lowest, and if anyone can give contextualized advice to help you finally score a boyfriend, it’s him. Not only that, but Mingyu’s got an eye for fashion, is a gym rat, and happens to co-own a gym with Seungcheol. The man could give you advice, a glow-up, and maybe he can even set you up with his friends.

Genius!

Your crying stops, lips now stretched wide in a smile as you start going through your options. “I think you’re onto something…”

“Exactly!” Jihyo’s glad she’s finally getting to you. “Go get hot as fuck and maybe find some hotties there too, problem solved.”

“And I could even ask Mingyu for advice!” You sit straight up. Drunken hope fills you as you start strategizing. “He’s a man so he knows how men’s brains work. Jihyo, you’re a genius!”

“I get it from you,” Jihyo winks, clearly just as drunk as you. “Cheers to not dying alone!”

“Cheers!”

Tomorrow, you would start on your journey to become a whole new person, and the world won’t be ready for it.

-

“No,” is the only thing that comes from Mingyu’s mouth, and the entire foundation of your plan comes crashing down.

Without sparing another second, Mingyu goes back to slurping the Chapagetti you cooked for him–that was totally not meant to bribe him–and watching some stupid variety show playing on your TV. You had invited him over to your apartment and detailed your master plan of getting a boyfriend with his help. Hell, you even had an entire PowerPoint slide open on your laptop just so Mingyu had a visual aid for your pitch, and the only thing he says after humoring you for the past 15 minutes is… No?

You’re almost tempted to grab his chopsticks and eat the Chapagetti, but you don’t. You had to be strategic about this.

“Yah, are you not going to help this damsel in distress?” You mute the television, which forces Mingyu to look at you, clearly annoyed. “Wasn’t that your entire image in college?”

Mingyu sport a mischievous grin as he replies, “Yeah, but you’re hardly a damsel–”

At the speed of light, your sofa pillow goes flying towards Mingyu’s face, but the man only laughs, unfazed by the force (or the lack of it) of your throw.

“Yah! Kim Mingyu, don’t come to me for a consultation when you get sick.” You huff out, plopping down beside him on the floor and stealing his chopsticks before taking the bowl of Chapagetti. “I wouldn’t be asking you for help if I wasn’t desperate.”

“Hey, that’s mine!” Mingyu whines as he watches you eat the bowl, eyes trained on the Chapagetti that was slowly disappearing with each slurp from you. 

You only stick your tongue out in reply. If he was going to dismiss you so quickly, you had every right to be petty.

Mingyu, realizing that you were indeed serious about your entire pitch, starts scanning through the slides on your laptop. You can see the way the furrow in his brows gets deeper and deeper the closer he gets to the end of the presentation. Once he reaches the references slide (Mingyu thinks you’re insane for that), he leans back on the couch and says, “It’s a stupid plan.”

Irritated, you send a glare his way. “It’s literally backed by multiple credible sources and everything’s in APA7, and you’re calling it stupid—“

“You’re fine the way you are,” Mingyu says it like it’s a matter of fact, and you curse yourself internally for the way it has your heart skipping. “I don’t see why you need to get a ‘glow-up’ just because you want to go out and date.”

You stay silent, fiddling with your chopsticks. Mingyu doesn’t understand you, you think. He doesn’t understand that not everyone grew up winning the lotteries for both genetics and puberty. Kim Mingyu was born a handsome boy before puberty hit him like a truck and turned him into a handsome young man. It’s no surprise that he has such a relaxed outlook when it comes to dating or other affairs of the heart.

Attention and adoration were his closest friends, second only to you. Getting a girl’s interest was as easy as breathing for him, and not even you were safe from falling for Mingyu’s handsome looks and boyish charm. Your crush (is it even still a crush, at this point?) on the man was on its way to celebrating its 20th anniversary, and it’s honestly getting pathetic. You would be lying if you said that the stupid crush wasn’t part of the reason you wanted to get a boyfriend and settle down.

Fuck him and his pretty face, honestly.

“Plus, you’ve never been this interested in dating, so why start now?” Mingyu raises a brow, taking the chopsticks and the bowl of Chapagetti before scarfing it all down. 

You think it’s a little unfair how he can eat so much and still have such defined muscles. Sure, you weren’t a 187 cm male that’s composed of pure muscle and sunshine, but did the gap in your basal metabolic rates really have to be that huge?

“Gyu, we’re nearly 30,” You start out with a heavy sigh. “I am going to die old, lonely, and bitter all because I can’t seem to get people to like me.”

“Old and bitter is possible, but lonely?” Mingyu scoffs like it's the dumbest thing he’s heard. “You’re not gonna be lonely when I’m literally right here.”

“That’s different, though!” You complain, leaning your head down on the coffee table before banging your forehead on it repeatedly. “You’re my best friend. That’s different from having someone who’ll be with me through everything.”

Mingyu was too idealistic, you think. He’s only saying that because he doesn’t have a girlfriend who’s hogging all his attention and time the same way his ex from 3 years ago did. You still remember her clearly: an aspiring model with the body of a goddess and the face of an angel. However, her attitude was the exact opposite. That woman absolutely hated you despite the fact that you were already avoiding Mingyu like the plague then. 

When Mingyu finally settles down with a woman and starts a family of his own like he’s always imagined himself doing, you’re going to be cast aside the same way you were cast aside before. It’s only natural for Mingyu to focus on his future wife and the family they’re building. There was no room in that picture for Mingyu’s spinster of a best friend who’s been in love with him for nearly two decades. Unfortunately for you, acknowledging the truth in all of that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

You hear Mingyu mutter something inaudible underneath his breath, making you sit up and glare at him. You swear if he’s mocking you again… “Yah, what did you say?”

Mingyu looks startled for a second before he composes himself and says, “I said I’d help you.”

The angels sing and the gates of heaven open. You stare at Mingyu with wide eyes and an even wider grin, “Are you serious?”

Mingyu looks like he’s doing this against his will, but you don’t really care, too happy at the fact that he was actually going to help you. “Yeah, but don’t expect me to set you up with any of the guys. You’re too good for them–”

You lunge at Mingyu, tackling him to the floor with your arms around his neck as you repeatedly thank him. “Thank you, thank you, thank you–”

You pause when you realize that you’re quite literally on top of Mingyu, body to body, chest to chest— 

Holy shit, you weren’t wearing a bra, and judging by the flush on Mingyu’s cheeks, you think he’s realized it too.

Immediately, you’re scrambling off him. Your heart is beating violently and you can feel your face burning. The only ideal outcome for this situation would be if the ground opened up and swallowed you whole, taking you far away from Mingyu who was slowly getting up from the floor.

The grin on Mingyu’s face tells you that he’s about to say something diabolical. “If you’re trying to seduce me, it’s working~”

“Fuck you!” You hiss out, grabbing a pillow and hugging it to your chest as you avoid Mingyu’s teasing gaze.

Mingyu’s grin only widens. “Don’t threaten me with a good time–”

“If you don’t shut up, I am going to poison your Chapagetti the next time you come over.” You spit out, now more annoyed than embarrassed. You don’t know how you’ve tolerated Kim Mingyu’s incessant flirting over the years, but one thing for sure is that you still aren’t immune to it.

“Wow, that’s insane,” Mingyu remarks, eyeing you up and done with his eyes lingering on the pillow stuck to your chest. “It’s a good thing I like my women crazy.”

Mingyu seals his statement with a wink that sends your heart reeling. It’s a short-lived victory on his end before you start hitting him with the pillow you were hugging. Screw him for being so flirtatious. Screw him for having such a pretty face. Screw him for having such a profound effect on you. 

The man only laughs as you continue hitting him, clearly unbothered. You curse the heavens for giving this man such a strong build. “I’m kidding, I’m sorry!”

You stop, satisfied, and maybe a little tired from all the effort it took to hit Mingyu. The pillow is back in your embrace, covering your chest as you unmute the TV.

“Go to the gym tomorrow after your shift.” Mingyu suddenly says, distracting you from the TV show. “Bring workout clothes too.”

“Obviously, dipshit, do you expect me to wear scrubs there?” You roll your eyes, still annoyed.

“First piece of advice, maybe tone down the swearing–”

“Fuck you–”

“Already failing, I see. We have a lot of work ahead of us.”

–

By the time you finish your rounds and give out your final instructions, the sky is already dark. Immediately, you pack up your bag and say goodbye to Jihyo who was still wrapping up her cases. 

“Fighting!” Jihyo cheers you on with a smile as you leave the hospital.

Without wasting a second, you get into your car and drive a few kilometers down the road to where Mingyu and Seungcheol’s gym is located. It’s a very well-known gym located in the heart of the city which makes it convenient given that your workplace was only a few minutes away. It would be easier to integrate the gym into your daily routine given the proximity.

Once you arrive at the gym, you’re greeted by the large sign that reads ‘C&K Fitness Center’. It’s a little intimidating, you think. The place is huge, and the people coming in and out all look like they’re on their way to a modeling shoot. You haven’t even been inside, but you already know that you’re punching above your weight just by being there. You’re almost tempted to abandon it all and just settle for living alone with only thirteen cats to accompany you until you inevitably leave this plane of existence.

Before you can spiral further, you’re grabbing your bag and locking your car. You fuel yourself with the thought of dying alone, with the thought of Mingyu’s drop dead gorgeous exes, and with the thought of how unhappy you’ve been with yourself for the past how many years of your life. It distracts you enough that the next thing you know, you’ve already opened the door to the gym and come face to face with the gym’s receptionist.

“Welcome to Choi and Kim’s Fitness Center!” The pretty woman, whose name is Youngmi based on her ID, greets with a smile. “How may I help you?”

You realize that you don’t actually know what to say. Mingyu just told you to come to the gym and bring workout clothes. He completely forgot to mention the logistics of it all. Quickly, you think. Would she believe you if you said you knew the owner when you looked like you crawled out of hell and barely survived–

“You’re late,” comes the voice of the man you were looking for. Mingyu strolls in casually like he owns the place (you need to remind yourself that he does), donning a black tank top that clung onto him like a second skin and gray sweatpants that hung loosely on his hips.

What a whore, you think to yourself as you roll your eyes internally. You think that this would be the male equivalent of you strolling into the gym in nothing but a tiny sports bra and shorts.

“Had a long shift, your highness. Sorry for making you wait.” You roll your eyes, but this time, you make sure Mingyu sees.

“Youngmi, this is Y/N. Y/N this is Youngmi.” Mingyu ignores the attitude you were giving and chooses to introduce you to the receptionist who seemingly lights up upon hearing your name.

“Ah, so this is the Y/N we’ve been hearing about,” Youngmi has a grin on her face, and Mingyu suddenly looks like he’s pleading to her with his eyes. “I’m looking forward to seeing you here more often!”

“I hope he isn’t saying bad things about me,” You joke, but internally you’re ready to strangle Mingyu. 

“No, not at all!” Youngmi is quick to wave off your assumptions. “All nice things, I swear. In fact, he always–”

“Okay, that’s enough. We’ll be here until midnight if we don’t start soon,” Mingyu quickly cuts Youngmi off and starts dragging you towards the changing rooms. “Go change then meet me there.”

You nod in reply, looking at where Mingyu is pointing before shooing him off so that you can change. Quickly, you change into a loose shirt and jogging pants. It wasn’t the best of outfits if you were going to use those Instagram models as an example, but it was presentable enough… You guess.

When you reach the gym itself, you’re hit with the scent of rubber and the sight of Mingyu’s muscles flexing as he pulls down the handles of some gym equipment. It’s criminal: the way the muscles on his back tense and relax while his perspiration makes his warm skin glow underneath the harsh lights. It didn’t help that he’s puffing out grunts of effort that had your brain entering a territory you refused to acknowledge. The worst part of it all is that you’re not the only one looking. There are other people eyeing your best friend, some out of envy and some out of something that looks like it should be accompanied with a restraining order.

You can already tell that you’re going to have a hard time concentrating with Mingyu around.

When Mingyu sees your reflection in the mirror, he quickly lowers the weights down and walks over to where you are. You think it’s a little embarrassing how some of the women present suddenly narrowed their eyes when they realized that Mingyu was walking towards you.

“Okay, we’ll start with some stretches then I’ll introduce you to each of the equipment,” Mingyu informs you, grabbing your arm to drag you to a wider space of the gym. “After that we’ll go over the workout plan and how to do the exercises…”

Mingyu continues to speak and demonstrate while still giving you enough space to ask questions. It jars you a little, unused to your best friend being so serious. He’s always been one to goof around like a puppy that had been set free into the world for the very first time, so seeing him so concentrated has you honestly impressed. You can’t help the warmth that blooms in your chest at the idea that he was actually taking the time and putting in the effort to help you.

It was a little… Sweet.

However, that warm, grateful feeling in your chest is fleeting, and the next thing you know, you’re dripping, breathless, and absolutely sore in all the unsexy ways.

The AC is on full blast, but it does nothing to keep your shirt from sticking to your back. The bench underneath you is soft, but it does nothing to ease the soreness of your muscles. Your best friend is cheering you on, but it does absolutely nothing to change the fact that you were one set away from queuing to the afterlife on the express lane.

It was absolutely horrible. 

“One last set, and we can go for the cooldown,” Mingyu says as he squats down to your level on the bench. It was unfair how he still looked composed while you were sprawled out like a sopping towel that had been carelessly thrown onto the nearest surface. “Are you okay?”

“Do I look okay?” You breathe out, eyes trained on the ceiling of the gym as you try to steady your racing heart. You’re not sure if this workout thing was going to lessen your risk for a CVD or send you straight into an infarction.

“Nope, but you’re the one who wanted this. Remember?” Mingyu’s grin is smug. “No harm in quitting, really.”

In all honesty, you were considering quitting after that horrendous workout, but Mingyu just had to open his mouth and taunt you. Quickly, you shoot up straight, eyes narrowed in challenge as you look at Mingyu and get the dumbbells from the floor. There was no way you were going to let Mingyu be all smug in that stupid ‘I-told-you-so’ tone of his. You were going to bench press these dumbbells like an absolute machine and maybe even send them flying his way if you still had the strength after the set.

“Who said I was quitting?” You huff out before leaning back on the bench, getting in the position for a bench press.

Mingyu grins at you from the mirror and cheers, “Okay, last set!”

With fingers barely brushing your elbows, Mingyu spots you for the last time that evening. Eyes locked, knees bent, body leaning forward, the man is attuned to each and every one of your moves in the event that your arms give out. 

With a final huff, you push the dumbbells away one last time before dropping them onto the ground. At the loud thud, Mingyu cheers, hand stretching out in front of you for a high five that you weakly return.

“Good job,” Mingyu says as he grabs both of your wrists and pulls you up from the bench. “Come on. The sooner we finish the cooldown, the sooner you can go home.”

At the mention of home, your mind is immediately flooded by the images of a cool shower, a fresh set of clothes, and a soft bed. It’s amazing, you think, how a single gym session straight from hell had you savoring the most mundane of things that you once overlooked.

After the cooldown, Mingyu walks you to where your car is parked. “Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you home?”

“Gyu, it’s fine, really,” You wave off Mingyu’s concern with a swipe of your hand. “Plus, how are you going to get back here if we’re using my car?”

Mingyu shrugs, “I can take the train back here.”

“That’s too inconvenient,” You reply as you open the door of your car. “I’m fine, I swear.”

Banter and bickering aside, Mingyu’s always been like this. He’s always been the type of person to go through any lengths for the people he holds close to his heart, even when they didn’t deserve it. He could easily wave off any inconvenience if it meant that the people he loved would be happy and taken care of. You honestly think it’s part of the reason why you can’t move on from him so easily.

“Fine,” Mingyu knows you’re stubborn so he doesn’t push. “But text me when you get home, okay?”

“Wow, are you my mother?” You joke as you get into the driver’s seat.

“No, but she trusts me to take care of you, so don’t make me look bad by dying,” Mingyu replies. 

“Yeah, whatever, bye!” You wave before shutting your door.

Mingyu only rolls his eyes with a smile as he waves back, “Text me when you get home!”

The drive home is uneventful, and before you even realize it, you’ve already parked and your keys are already jangling as you open your door.

When the door swings open, you take a deep breath, savoring the scent of your apartment that’s free from the smell of rubber, sweat, and self-deprecation. The door shuts behind you with an audible thud at the kick of your foot, and the beep that follows assures you that it’s locked.

Quickly, you pull out your phone and type away.

[Y/N]: Got home safely 

The Seen at the bottom of the message appears quickly, almost as if the receiver had been waiting. The nickname on the screen has the corners of your lips tugging into a small smile, mind suddenly flooded by memories of Mingyu stealing your phone and constantly changing his name on it until you just gave up and left it as is.

[Gyu <3]: Good to hear [Gyu <3]: Make sure to eat properly and get rest [Gyu <3]: For the gains

What a gymrat, you think. You’re not even surprised anymore. This is the same guy that brings a huge backpack that congains gym clothes, low-sodium chicken breast, protein, and a jar of peanut butter. A little atrocious, but hey, if it works then it works.

[Y/N]: I will [Y/N]: Are you home already?

The three dots on your screen linger for a second longer than it usually does.

[Gyu <3]: sent a photo

Absolutely diabolical is the only way you can describe the photo Mingyu sends, and for a second, you wonder if he’s drunk. His head is thrown back against the blue couch you’ve seen multiple times whenever you visited his apartment. His neck is bared, and you can see the silver chain peak from underneath his black shirt. Your best friend was not beating the playboy allegations with this one despite how respectful he actually is because that photo genuinely looked like it would come with an obnoxious ‘wyd?’ text at 1 AM sharp.

[Y/N]: Put a jumpscare warning next time <3

It’s the same old routine you’ve been going through since high school. Get flustered, play it off, and pretend like you didn’t want Mingyu’s teasing to be real.

Damn, you really needed to move on and get a boyfriend soon.

[Gyu <3]: People would literally pay for a selca from me [Gyu <3]: I hope you know that :(((

You can already imagine the pout on Mingyu’s and hear the whine of his voice.

[Y/N]: I did not, but thanks for the heads up [Y/N]: Business opportunity for me 

The texting continues for a while until your eyes catch sight of the clock on your wall. The time was looking dangerously close to ‘if I don’t sleep now I will regret it tomorrow’ territory, so immediately, you type out a quick goodbye, head into the shower, and get ready for bed.

[Gyu <3]: Already leaving me?  [Gyu <3]: Jk go rest, you’ll need it for tomorrow [Gyu <3]: Good night :)

— 

The morning following your workout yesterday is an experience straight from hell.

Every movement has you wincing and each of your steps feels like a losing battle against gravity. Your morning shower does nothing to ease the ache or lessen the exhaustion, and breakfast is nothing more than a grim reminder of the fact that you had to keep track of your macros. It’s absolutely miserable, and you’re already dreading having to go back, but Mingyu’s words keep echoing through your head like a broken record.

Consistency is key.

With that, you suck it up, finish your breakfast that had an atrocious amount of eggs, and head out to work. For a moment, you consider grabbing your keys to drive. While driving would be convenient in helping you avoid the morning crowd in the station, using the subway would let you get in a few more steps than you usually did. So without looking back, you shut your apartment door behind you and head to the station.

Your shift, much like your early commute, is uneventful. The only thing that gave it a bit of thrill was the fact that your body was aching terribly, and every single one of your interactions was a challenge to hide that fact. Thankfully, only Jihyo seems to notice your odd gait and the occasional wince.

“Damn, was the workout that bad?” Jihyo asks as she hands you a can of fruit tea. “It’s low-calorie, in case you’re tracking.”

You thank Jihyo, grateful at the fact that she’s a gym enthusiast too. You don’t think the process would be easy if you had someone constantly inviting you to eat out and get wasted. Jihyo, thankfully, only does that in moderation.

“Mingyu is insane,” You reply, the can hissing as you pull the tab back. You take a sip before continuing, “At this point, I think he’s just sadistic.”

Jihyo snorts, “What workout plan did he give you anyway?”

The grim look on your face is the only warning Jihyo gets before you start explaining the routine that Mingyu had given you. Each sentence that leaves your mouth has Jihyo’s grin slowly faltering until she’s staring at you with palpable concern. You don’t know if you’re proud that you survived or concerned that even Jihyo looks like she’s one blink away from sobbing for you.

“Honestly? Good luck,” Jihyo is shaking her head in disbelief. “I think Mingyu's trying to kill you.”

“He won’t be succeeding,” You say, determined to overcome whatever bullshit workout Mingyu had in store for you today. “I honestly think he was just trying to scare me off, but it isn’t going to work.”

–

Your suspicions of Mingyu giving you an absolutely diabolical workout routine on your first day in an attempt to scare you off were proven correct when he gives you an easier workout for today. Unlike the eight workouts he gave you yesterday, he only gave you four and a quick comment of, “Guess I didn’t succeed in making you leave, huh.”

Asshole, you think.

“So was the entire workout plan fake?” You ask, pushing the plate through on the barbell with a thud as you narrow your eyes at Mingyu who's on the other side of the barbell. 

“Yes,” Mingyu snickers, not even trying to deny it. “I just had to see just how serious you were.”

You roll your eyes, stepping back from the barbell. “I am serious about this, Gyu. I’m not getting any younger. Some of the people from our year already are already engaged, married, or raising kids.”

“Life’s not a race,” Mingyu shrugs before pointing to a spot on the floor. “Stand here. We’re doing RDLs.”

“You’re a man. It’s easier for you to say that…” You whisper underneath your breath. Mingyu didn’t understand the struggle of living in a society where women were valued more for their beauty than their capabilities. Men had more freedom when it came to age, looks, and other unrealistic standards. In this unequal world, men aged like fine wine while women could only age like grapes. You hope Mingyu doesn’t hear you though. The gym didn’t exactly seem like the place to be talking about glass ceilings and patriarchal constructs. “How many?”

“3 sets, 12 reps, no progressive overload for today.” Mingyu says as he reaches out to flatten his palm on the small of your back. “Straighten your back. Unless you want a spine injury.”

The rest of your workout continues smoothly despite the aches you had to overcome. Mingyu no longer seemed like he was trying to use the gym equipment to kill you or chase you off. In fact, he was scarily supportive, with his usual teasing replaced by more genuine encouragement that had you braving through your sets with more determination. Once the workout ends, you’re quick to change into a fresh shirt and pack up the rest of your things.

Mingyu approaches you, drinking from his bottle before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He eyes you zipping up your bag for a while before he speaks, “Are you driving home?”

“No, I’m taking the subway.” You reply, stringing the bag over your shoulder. “Helps me get more steps in.”

Mingyu whistles at that, “Damn, that’s dedication.”

“Yeah, well, I’m starting to regret it,” You sigh. “I can’t even feel my legs anymore.”

“Don’t take the subway then. I’ll drive you home,” Mingyu offers, but it seems more like a command.

“Gyu, our apartments are literally in the opposite direction of each other,” You remind him, hand on your hip. 

“You say that like it’s a problem,” Mingyu scoffs as he gets his own bag. “I’m driving you, and you can’t say no.”

Your eyes narrow at that. While you definitely did not want to walk 500 meters to the nearest station, you also did not like being told what you can or cannot do. “Actually, I can–”

“We can go eat jjajangmyeon at our usual spot,” Mingyu grins as he slings an arm around your shoulders and begins leading you out of the gym.

“Fuck you for knowing me so well.” You grumble. Despite your initial hesitance, your feet follow Mingyu towards his car.

“Love you too,” Mingyu laughs as he opens the passenger door for you before going to the driver’s side of the car.

You hate the way your heart flutters at that.

–

It’s a month into your gym journey that you actually start to notice changes.

The physical changes were mild, a few cm off your waist and a little bit of toning around some areas were all easy to overlook if you didn’t look hard enough. However, the feeling… That was what changed completely. You felt lighter and stronger all at once. You could go on longer walks without getting immediately winded, and you could lift heavier objects without the fear that it would crush you underneath its weight. You had been so caught up with wanting aesthetic changes that you completely overlooked the lifestyle benefits of getting the CDC recommended 150-minutes of moderate physical activity per week. 

You think that’s what has you messaging Jihyo on a Saturday morning for a shopping trip.

[Y/N]: Do you want to go shopping? [Y/N]: I’m thinking of getting new gym clothes… [babes]: GIRL ADFGHJKJHGFDSDFGH [babes]: I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS [babes]: GET YOUR WALKING SHOES READY FOR THIS IM NOT GOING EASY ON YOU

The moment Jihyo’s fingers find their way around your wrist, it was game over. Not a single store selling gym apparel was left unvisited, and by the end of it all, you had multiple sets of gym clothes that would put you on par with those fitness influencers. Was it necessary to have that many sets? No. Were they in such a cute color that you and Jihyo just had to get matching sets? Yes.

Which led to the present, with you and Jihyo sitting next to your numerous shopping bags as you waited for your food to come out. The shopping session had somehow transitioned into another girl’s day where you yapped about anything and everything under the sun.

“You should try dating apps,” Jihyo suddenly suggests when you inform her that Mingyu refuses to set you up with any of his friends from the gym. “We don’t really have time for anything else unless you’re willing to go bar hopping or clubbing after your shift.”

“Pass,” Your nose scrunches at the idea. Those were two of the last things you’d ever find yourself doing after an exhausting shift. “But aren’t dating apps full of creeps?”

“Yes, but that’s where I met my boyfriend,” Jihyo smiles at the thought of the man. “Took me a while to find him though, and there were definitely a lot of creeps on there.”

You turn it over in your head for a while, unable to come to a decision. The idea of putting yourself out there like a product for everyone else to judge has your stomach turning, in all honesty, but some part of you is also curious. “I’ll think about it.”

“No pressure at all, girl,” Jihyo replies. “I heard the online dating scene is bad nowadays, so it might just be a waste of time.”

The first thing you do is download the first dating app you see and set up your profile. Despite the fact that the process only takes a few steps, it takes you two hours of typing and erasing on your phone before you’re satisfied with your profile. You were, as Mingyu likes to say it, an overachiever, and while you hated the idea of having to appeal to men, you also hated the idea of failing your first attempt at online dating.

It’s 10 left swipes in that you realize that Jihyo wasn’t lying when she said the online dating scene was bad. Their bios were absolutely atrocious, and you could easily tell that some of these were performative males or just straight up fuckboys despite their big age. Some of them refused to put clear pictures, some of them wore shades in every picture, and some of them used nothing but group pictures. You’re so caught up in judging their profiles that you don’t notice your door opening.

“Swipe left, he looks like a rat.”

The sound of Mingyu’s voice close to your ear has you jumping out of your couch, and immediately, your first instinct is to drop your phone and swat at him. “Why are you here?!”

Mingyu stands in front of you sporting his usual lazy day attire: a cap, loose joggers, and jacket that’s half-zipped to partially reveal a tight fitting tee. In response to your question, he raises his left hand to reveal two boxes of chicken and some beer, “Can’t I visit my favorite chimaek buddy?”

“Maybe warn me next time instead of sneaking up on me like a creep?” You huff out, following Mingyu into your kitchen as he rummages through your pantry. “Yah, you’re acting like you live here. Have some respect or I’m going to kick you out.”

Mingyu snorts at your threat as he pulls out packets of ramyeon. He knows your complaints are half-hearted. After all, you’ve spent nearly your entire lives together, so showing up unannounced at each other’s residences and acting like you own the place wasn’t unfamiliar to either of you. “Since when were you on dating apps?”

“Since a while ago,” You sigh out heavily, watching Mingyu turn your stovetop on before placing a pot full of water over the heat. “Jihyo suggested it.”

Mingyu scoffs, arms crossing as he waits for the water to boil. “You’re too good for that.”

“Well, it’s the only feasible option right now,” You reply, hands fiddling with your phone. “My job combined with the gym doesn’t exactly give me a lot of free time, you know.”

Mingyu doesn’t reply, too caught up in throwing the packets of ramyeon and the powder that comes with it into the pot. While you appreciate his concern, it was definitely getting old. You can’t stay in your comfort zone forever. That is how you got here after all, nearly 30, unmarried, and lacking prospects.

Once the ramyeon is cooked, Mingyu places a wooden trivet on your table before setting the pot down. Then, he opens up the boxes of chicken and slides a beer to you. Once he finishes setting up, he’s sitting beside you, giving you a pointed stare as he reaches his hand out. “Give.”

“Give what?” You ask, hand freezing in its descent towards the chopsticks. 

Mingyu gestures to your phone, “Give it. I’ll swipe.”

“Enjoy,” You reply with a roll of your eyes as you hand him your phone.

If you thought your standards were highs, Mingyu’s was just downright unreachable. He doesn’t even linger on the men’s profile before he’s quickly swiping left with a rude comment that would surely lead to a fistfight if Mingyu had said it to the man’s face. In his words, the men either looked too ugly, looked funny, or looked like a player. Every once in a while, he’d pause to read through the bio. Not because he considers them good enough, no. He reads through their bio just to dissect it like he was in a literature class.

“Rating myself a 9 out of 10 because you’re the 1 I need to complete it.” Mingyu almost looks offended as he reads one of the bios. “A nine is very generous for a face like that, really.”

Left swipe.

“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best,” Mingyu snorts after reading the sentence. “Is this supposed to be his best?”

Left swipe.

“Looking for open-minded girls—“ Mingyu looks absolutely disgusted at this point. “What the fuck?”

Immediate left swipe.

The only thing you can do is laugh as Mingyu progressively gets more frustrated with the profiles. It’s funny, watching him alternate between stuffing his face with chicken and swiping through your phone like a critic. This wasn’t how you envisioned spending your Saturday evening, but you find that you don’t mind.

“Wait, pause on that one,” You quickly grab Mingyu’s hand before he can swipe. This was the first decent profile you’ve seen in the app, and you refuse to let Mingyu accidentally swipe away and crush your hopes and dreams. 

Based on the profile, the man’s name was Eunwoo, and he was just as old as you and Mingyu. He had the kind of face that looked too good to be real: symmetrical, polished, and flawless. His features were so finely-sculpted that it was almost jarring. Not only that, but the guy had personality too! He was the only one—so far—who had a bio that didn’t make you want to chuck your phone across the room. You think it wouldn’t be bad to make him your first swipe—

Left.

Swipe.

“Yah!” Immediately, you’re turning to Mingyu with a frown. “He had a decent profile. Why did you swipe left?!”

Mingyu looks at you with that judgmental stare of his. “Pretty boys like that are up to no good.”

You almost want to argue that Mingyu himself is a pretty boy who looks like he’s up to no good, so he had no right to be calling out other men with the exact same format, but you didn’t really want to give him an unintentional ego boost. Defeated, you rip into your chicken and chew angrily, the sodium and flavoring somewhat easing your frustration. “Yah, just set it down if you’re not going to be helpful.”

Mingyu only pouts at you, shutting your phone off and placing it on the table with a light thud. “Not my fault all the men there are trash.”

“Yeah, whatever, just eat your chicken,” You grumble. Well, there goes your plan of online dating.

Another fail.

By the time the two of you finish eating, drinking, and cleaning up, Mingyu is already sprawled out on your couch and flipping through the channels on your TV. If someone were to walk in right now, it would be easy to assume that Mingyu was the one who lived in the apartment and that you were just a guest.

“Are you staying over?” You asked, moving to grab your towel as you walked towards the bathroom. It wasn’t uncommon for Mingyu to find himself crashing over at your place, after all. It’s like you had a huge, clingy dog with abandonment issues, really.

“I’m too drunk to drive home,” Mingyu answers as he follows you, leaning against the doorframe to lock eyes with you through the mirror of your bathroom as you brush your teeth. “Do you have plans tomorrow?”

“Other than sleeping in and scrolling through my phone all day?” You move to rinse your mouth. “No, not really.”

“Let’s run then,” Mingyu suggests, but it doesn’t really feel like he’s going to take no for an answer. 

“No,” You quickly reply, before pushing Mingyu out of the bathroom. “Now go, I need to bathe.”

“Can I j—“

“Why are you like this?!”

The slam of your bathroom door muffles Mingyu’s obnoxious laughter. 

—

Sometimes, Mingyu wonders how a person as smart as you could be so dense.

He’s literally in pajamas in your kitchen, waiting for the water in your electric kettle to boil so that he can prepare your tea just the way you like it, and somehow you still think he’s being the best fucking bestie on Earth. Part of him thinks he can kiss you right on the mouth with tongue, and you’ll still find a way to play it off as platonic.

There was nothing platonic about the way he wanted to wake up to the sight of your face every morning, and there was definitely nothing platonic about the way he wanted to bend you over your couch whenever you wore those stupidly short shorts you liked so much because sleeping in them was more comfortable. Every single day with you for the past 20-something years has been a test of self-control, a challenge to shut up in fear of ruining your friendship. It’s not that hard of a challenge, Mingyu thinks. Especially when you were hellbent on ignoring every signal he’s sent your way.

Frustrated, Mingyu narrows his eyes at the teabag in the cup as he pours the boiled water, staring (glaring) at it like its entire existence offended him.

“Gyu, what are you doing?” Your voice is soft as you call out to Mingyu, frame slightly wobbly from the synergistic effects of liquor and sleep as you walk out of the bedroom towards him. The oversized tee you’re wearing does nothing to hide the fact that you’re wearing the shorts, and Mingyu has to physically restrain himself from crashing out in your kitchen. 

“Making tea, want some?” Mingyu offers it like he wasn’t making it for you, like he didn’t know your habits like the back of his hand.

“Since when did you drink tea?” Your brows are narrowed and your cheeks are puffed up, and Mingyu has to ignore every single voice in his head that’s pushing him to pinch your cheek. 

He needed to get a grip.

“Since now,” Mingyu shrugs and pours himself a cup, too lazy to think of an excuse. The flavor—or the lack of it, rather—hits his tongue, and he’s unable to stop himself from pulling a face. “How do you drink that?”

It’s your turn to shrug, taking a few sips until the tiny cup is empty. “It’s got numerous health benefits.”

“Okay, doc, whatever you say,” Mingyu replies, grabbing your empty cup to wash it alongside his. 

When he finishes up with the dishes, Mingyu is quick to drag you back to your bedroom and plop on the bed beside you. He wonders why you let him do this, wonders why you let him sleep in your bed, reorganize your kitchen, and basically just insert himself into numerous aspects of your everyday life. 

Did friends do that?

Sure, he’s cuddled with the homies before, smacked their asses even, but those were his bros. You, on the other hand, were not one of his bros. You’re the girl he’s been in love with since he knew what falling in love was, and he’s sharing a bed with you like it’s the most normal, non-romantic thing ever. Mingyu doesn’t know how you look so peaceful while he’s a few centimeters away from you and fighting the demons telling him to cuddle you.

Fuck, he feels like he’s taking advantage of you just by lying there. It makes him feel like he’s betraying your trust by being secretly in love with you while you remain clueless. In his defense, you offered your bed the one time he was over, and like a spoiled dog that had a taste of his owner’s bed, Mingyu refused to sleep anywhere else after that whenever he visited. So really, the two of you were to blame: you for offering and him for getting used to it.

“Night, Gyu.” Your voice is soft, the sheets ruffling slightly as you tuck it under your chin.

Mingyu steels himself, the pillow shrinking in his hold as he replies, “Good night.”

—

You were definitely feeling a little more confident today.

The sports bra you’re wearing is a huge change from the usual loose shirt you wore, and the shorts clinging to your thighs were just as foreign. The you from a month ago would not have been caught dead wearing this out in public in fear of scrutiny, but you find that the you from the present was comfortable enough to start showing more skin. 

Contrary to your initial belief, people in the gym didn’t really care about other people’s business. In fact, most of them were actively supportive, with some cheering other gym goers every once in a while when they’re doing a particularly difficult set. It was easier to push your limits when the people around you were judgment-free. Kudos to Mingyu and Seungcheol, you think. They were the ones responsible for building this community after all.

After one final look, you quickly leave the changing room before your insecurities take over and you change your mind. You weren’t going to give your self-deprecating thoughts the time or space to keep you from trying out things that you wanted to do.

That resolve of yours is further strengthened when you pass by Youngmi who’s quick to whistle and compliment you, “Looking good, Y/N!”

Her words instantly put a smile on your face and a burn in your cheeks, but you’re quick to reply, “I get it from you!”

Youngmi only waves you off with a laugh.

Feeling more confident than before, you open the doors and prepare yourself to face another brutal session of whole body workouts with Mingyu. Some part of you thinks that it’s a little sadistic on Mingyu’s end to have you destroying all your muscles on a Monday, but if it works, then it works.

Speaking of the man, the first thing you see upon entering the gym is Mingyu seated on a workout bench absolutely engrossed with his phone, chuckles leaving his chest every once in a while. Curious, you keep your footsteps light as you approach, sneaking up behind him to get a quick look at his phone. Once you’re a few centimeters away from him, you lean over his shoulder to look at what had him laughing so hard.

Instagram reels.

The man, at his big age, was laughing at Instagram reels.

“Dude, are you 12?” You ask with a scoff, the sudden disruption making Mingyu jump in his seat.

“Yah! Don’t sneak up on me like that–” Mingyu’s words are cut short when he catches sight of you, eyes wide and mouth agape. “What are you wearing?”

“Workout clothes, duh,” You hope your reply comes out as casual as you intended it to. The initial confidence you had was slowly dwindling at Mingyu’s reaction. Why did he look so shocked? Was the outfit ugly? Was it ugly on you? While you didn’t really expect a specific reaction from Mingyu, him staring intently and asking that question wasn’t something you expected either. Feeling a little more vulnerable, you’re quick to ask. “Is it ugly?”

The initial shock on Mingyu’s face is suddenly replaced by panic, “What? No!”

“Yah, don’t lie to me,” You reply, mood a little more sour. “Be honest.”

“It looks good!” Mingyu quickly replies, a little too loudly, and you hear Seungcheol guffawing somewhere in the background which has Mingyu frowning and you nearly dying from embarrassment. “It’s different, but good. I just got used to the shirt and joggers combo.”

Seungcheol, no longer satisfied in being a bystander in your godawfully embarrassing conversation, walks up to Mingyu and slings a buff arm around his friend’s shoulder. “Nice outfit.”

The comment followed by Seungcheol giving you a once-over has your face burning.

“Thanks, Cheol.” You smile at the man, mood slowly lifting. Well, at least Seungcheol appreciated your new look. 

You definitely didn’t mind the attention. Seungcheol, with his strong brows, handsome face, and sturdy frame, had been someone you considered asking Mingyu to set you up with. However, you had quickly given up on that idea when Mingyu had declared his friends strictly off-limits.

Well, a girl could dream.

“No need to thank me for telling the truth,” Seungcheol gives you a wink that has Mingyu’s mouth falling open in disbelief.

“Hyung, are you seriously flirting with her right now?” Mingyu looks absolutely offended.

Seungcheol only shrugs and replies, “Can’t blame a man for having eyes–”

“Do you want them gone–”

“Yah, Kim Mingyu since when did you learn to fight back–”

You tune out the rest of their conversation, choosing to focus on your routine instead. 

–

Kim Mingyu was having the worst fucking time of his life.

He’s gone back and forth from the bathroom to the gym around five times now, with each visit to the bathroom spent thinking of puppies, sunshine, and anything else that would get rid of his fucking hard-on. While he could just rub one out and call it a day, he thinks it’s a whole new low to be doing it in a public space where anyone could walk in. Not only that, but it felt a little disrespectful to you.

It’s just clothes, Mingyu thinks. Clothes that were meant to make you more comfortable when your body sweats and overheats. Clothes that were meant to give you a wider range of movement. Clothes that looked a little too good on you. Clothes that had Mingyu questioning his sanity for a second when he first saw you.

Mingyu has seen that set many times before on many different women, and he never bat an eye. At one point, Mingyu thought himself a paragon of the male species for being so desensitized to it. Among mere mortals that set a bad example for his kind, Mingyu was at the top. At least, he was until you decided to stroll into the gym wearing the set, and suddenly, Mingyu finds himself at the bottom of the hierarchy.

With a loud clink, Mingyu loads another heavy plate onto the barbell he’s about to bench press. The more he had to struggle with this, the less he could think about you and those stupid yoga shorts hugging your thighs and your sculpted as–

“Shit!” Mingyu hisses when he drops one of the plates onto his toe, and he thanks his lucky stars that it’s one of the lighter plates. 

Immediately, Mingyu’s sitting down on the bench and pulling off his shoes to take a look at the damage. All was going well until you’re suddenly heading (bouncing) his way.

“Are you okay?” is the only thing you ask before you drop onto your knees to check on Mingyu’s foot. 

Mingyu nearly fucking combusts at the sight. You’re only checking his foot like a good person, you work instincts taking over, and Mingyu knows that. He knows that it’s part of your job to be concerned about other people, knows that it’s always been your trademark to excessively worry about everyone but yourself, knows that you’re just being a good friend. Mingyu knows all of that, so why the fuck was all his blood rushing down south?

Before he can stop himself, Mingyu’s mind is flooded by images of you knelt between his legs, away from prying eyes. He wonders if you’d do it slowly or quickly, wonders how much pressure your grip would have, wonders how many times you’d have to practice before you could get it all down your throat–

At Mingyu’s shaky sigh, you’re quick to look up at him, eyes round and glassy under the gym lights. “Does it hurt?”

“A little,” Mingyu lies, his blood pumping vigorously through his veins. The pain was the last thing he was worried about. He was doing everything he could to keep his little–he supposes it’s not that little–friend from rising and traumatizing you. “I’m okay, don’t worry about me.”

“If you say so,” You relent, putting Mingyu’s sock and shoe back on carefully. “Ice that as soon as possible, then keep it raised.”

The moment you stand up from the floor, all the tension leaves Mingyu’s body, and it’s like he can finally breathe again.

Fuck, you would be the death of him.

Thankfully, after that incident, the universe seems to take mercy on Mingyu. The rest of the gym session continues without a hitch, and before Mingyu knew it, you were in his car and he was driving you home. It had become a habit ever since you started going to the gym, a change that Mingyu finds himself absolutely happy with.

The loud ringtone of Mingyu’s phone disturbs the comfortable silence that had already settled in the car.

“Who is it?” Mingyu asks as you reach out to check his phone.

“Your mom,” You replied, gaze moving to look at him. “Should I answer it?”

“Yeah,” Mingyu replies as he signals to the left. “Put it on loudspeaker.”

“How is my lovely son doing?”

“Eomeoni, it’s Y/N.” The smile on your face is bright, and your tone is even brighter. “Mingyu’s busy driving.”

“Oh, even better!” Mingyu doesn’t know if he should be offended or overjoyed that his mother sounded happier when she realized that she was talking to you. “I missed you sweetie, how have you been?”

The fond smile on your face has Mingyu’s heart warming up weirdly. “I’m doing good, eomeoni. Work’s been tiring, but I’m getting by. How about you? Are you taking all your vitamins?”

“Aigoo, always such a sweet girl,” Mingyu’s mom replies, voice soft. “You ask about me more often than my own son. He’s useless, I tell you!”

Mingyu takes the red light as a chance to insert himself into the conversation, grabbing your wrist to pull the phone closer to his mouth. “Eomma, I can hear you!”

You cackle from the side, absolutely smug at the idea that Mingyu’s own mother preferred you over her own son.

(Mingyu doesn’t mind. He prefers you more, too)

“Good, maybe you’ll call me more often!”

Mingyu sighs, “Eomma, I’m just really busy with the gym right now—“

“Yes, yes, I understand.” His mother dismisses his excuses, clearly not in the mood to argue with him. “Put Y/N back on the phone, I need to ask her something.”

Mingyu gapes at the phone, absolutely offended at how quickly his mother brushed him off. She was out here calling you sweetie while she dismissed him like an obnoxious fly? She wasn’t even trying to hide her favoritism anymore!

“I’m here, eomeoni,” You bring the phone closer to you, sticking a tongue out at Mingyu childishly to add insult to injury. “What did you need to ask?”

“What are your plans for Chuseok?” Mingyu’s mother asks, and Mingyu immediately straightens in his seat. “Are you going home? I heard your parents are going on a trip.”

Despite having his eyes on the road, Mingyu finds that his ears are more attuned to this conversation than the commotion outside. He secretly hopes you don’t have plans just so you could spend it with him and his family.

“Ah, yes they are,” You reply. “I don’t really have other plans so I’ll probably just rest the whole day.”

“Aigoo, that’s a waste of time. You should come over for the holidays!” Mingyu internally cheers at his mother’s proposition. She could be overbearing at times, but this was one of the few times he was actually thankful for it. 

Like the daughter-in-law of his mother’s dreams, you’re quick to modestly refuse. “Oh, I don’t want to impose—“

“Nonsense! Come over, I’ll be very upset if you don’t.” Mingyu grins as his mother starts going down the emotional blackmail route. “And make sure to drag Mingyu with you. He hasn’t gone home in a while.”

Mingyu’s grin falls. and you laugh at that. “I will, eomeoni.”

“I’ll be waiting for the two of you, okay? I’ll be ending the call now. I don’t want to be the uncool old lady that gets in the way of your couple time. I love you both~”

Mingyu snorts at his mother’s suggestive tone, already used to it. If there was anyone in this world that wanted you to be with Mingyu more than Mingyu himself, it would be his mother, his sister, then his father. His whole family adored you, and every visit to his hometown was spent with questions of whether or not the two of you were already together. Unfortunately, each visit of his leaves them disappointed.

You, however, did not seem accustomed to this. “We’re not dating—“

“Love you too. Please end the call so I can spend more time with Y/N,” Mingyu cuts you off before you can finish your sentence.

“What an ungrateful son, but okay, I will~”

The call is dropped, and immediately, you’re glaring at Mingyu. 

“Great, now your mom thinks we’re dating,” You grumble out, arms crossing in a way that has Mingyu wanting to squeeze you in his arms and keep you away from the rest of the world.

“Is it that bad if she does?” Mingyu asks thoughtlessly.

For a few seconds, only the hum of the engine and the chaos of the city is heard. Mingyu wonders if that was the wrong thing to say. He was genuinely just curious. 

Mingyu knows you like the back of his hand, and you know him just as well. You’ve spent your entire lives together, and that didn’t seem like it was going to change soon. He spends his mornings thinking of what to text you, his afternoons sending you stupid posts he thinks you’ll find funny, his evenings working out with you, and his nights dreaming of you. There was not a single hour of Mingyu’s day that wasn’t spent on you in some way, somehow. So really, would it be so bad if the two of you were dating? 

“I guess not, but you’re technically lying to her,” You shrug, and you don’t know it, but Mingyu’s heart skips a beat at the implication of your words.

‘Let’s make it real then,’ Mingyu mentally replies,  and it takes every single ounce of whatever willpower he has to not voice it out for you to hear.

You’re not ready, he thinks. If he caved and spilled two decades worth of feelings to you, you’d probably stare at him like he had gone insane before running away. Mingyu would never be able to handle that, so instead, he plays it off, “Don’t overthink it. She knows I’ll tell her if we’re actually dating.”

He’s a coward, he knows. However, he’s not that disappointed this time. Because for the first time in a very long time, Mingyu sees hope.

Maybe he had a shot, after all.

—

Mingyu was acting… Weird.

To be fair, it’s not like he was ever normal, a trait he and his other friends seem to share, but his behavior these past few weeks were a different sort of weird that had you wondering if someone had abducted your Mingyu and replaced it with a fake one that was eerily nice, accommodating, and gentlemanly.

At 9 AM sharp you would get a good morning text, and you’re starting to realize that this may be around the time Mingyu wakes up. This is followed by a quick call around lunchtime where he asks whether you’ve eaten or not and if you’re going to the gym later. After that, you’d go straight to the gym, and Mingyu would be at the doors, waiting for you and accompanying you inside. While you didn’t mind the attention, you’re sure that Mingyu’s refusal to leave the area within a 2-meter radius of you was scaring any potential suitor that may be interested in you. After all, who the hell would want to go up against a man like that?

Somehow, it only got worse today.

You had been minding your own business, fingers clacking repeatedly on the keyboard as you sent out prescription after prescription and answered email after email. Having been so absorbed in sorting out the non-medical aspects of your job, you were deaf to the buzzing of your phone against your desk. A mistake on your end, really. You underestimate Mingyu’s persistence.

It’s an hour past lunch when you shut your laptop off, a heavy sigh leaving you as you grab your bag and head out of your room to start walking towards the hospital cafeteria. The first thing that greets you upon rounding the corner to the elevator is the sight of your co-workers huddled up and gossiping as they look at someone from a distance.

Curious, you join the crowd.

“What’s going on?” You ask Jiwoo who’s situated closest to you.

“Oh, Dr. L/N!” Jiwoo and your other colleagues are quick to bow and greet you, the gossiping halted for a second before Jiwoo answers you, “There’s a really handsome guy over there. Apparently, he’s waiting for someone.”

“Oh, really?” Intrigued, you crane your neck over the crowd to look at the man seated on one of the chairs. On his side was a plastic bag with the logo of your favorite chicken place, and for a second, your stomach grumbles at the sight. While you can’t see the man’s face, given the cap obscuring it, you could at least see the rest of his body, and boy did he look like he had the build of a Calvin Klein model. It would be a shame if his face didn’t match, you think.

“Yeah!” Jia, your other coworker, answers. “We’re betting that he’s probably Hana’s boyfriend. She did say that her boyfriend was really handsome.”

Internally, you die a little. Well, there goes your shot with this mystery man. Hana was one of the prettiest nurses in this hospital, and the patients loved her for that. Not only that, but she was also one of the sweetest girls you’ve met. She was a hard worker too! Good for her, you think. She deserved nothing less.

“I hope he isn’t though,” Mina sighs out sadly, “It’s not often that we get to see someone that handsome.”

“I know right,” Jiwoo affirms. “Do you think he’s a model?”

“He’d be more famous if he was, and we’d know him right away.” Jia answers. “Should we go ask him?”

However, the moment the man looks up, you realize that everything everyone assumed had been wrong. Dead wrong.

Kim Mingyu’s eyes meet yours, and immediately, he’s standing up and walking your way.

“Y/N!” He calls out to you with a grin, holding up the chicken.

The reaction is instant. Multiple heads turn to you at the speed of light, and something akin to shock and betrayal fill their eyes as they realize that it was you that the handsome man was waiting for. In your defense, you didn’t know it was Mingyu! Which brings you to the next concern: why the fuck was Kim Mingyu at your workplace with food from your favorite chicken restaurant?

Your coworkers part like the Red Sea the moment Mingyu is within your vicinity. Like the dense motherfucker he is, he pulls you in for a tight hug, unaware of the consequences that would surely follow this.

Y/N L/N, resident nun of the hospital, celibate by choice (by whose choice?) found displaying public affection with Mr. Sex-On-Legs. The hushed whispers in the halls of the hospital would soon be filled with nothing but your name on repeat.

Yeah, fuck your life, really.

Immediately, you’re pushing Mingyu off discreetly and excusing yourself from your coworkers who can only wave you goodbye as they gape at the man that you’re dragging away. Kim Mingyu, like the oblivious idiot he is, only follows you, letting you drag him to wherever your heart desires like a puppy that would tail its beloved owner to the ends of the Earth.

The moment the two of you are at the hospital’s cafeteria, you’re plopping across Mingyu and giving him a questioning glare, “Why are you here?”

“You weren’t answering your phone,” Mingyu slides over the chicken to your side of the table. “Knowing you, you probably haven’t eaten.”

As if on cue, an audible grumble from your stomach is heard, and Mingyu is quick to laugh and starts pulling out two boxes. “Eat up.”

You could let your pride win, but you’re honestly too hungry for that. So with a dramatic sigh, you grab the box from Mingyu and break your chopsticks into two. “Thanks.”

Mingyu only waves you off with his hand, mouth too full of chicken and kimchi to reply.

Despite your initial annoyance, you can’t deny the way your heart is fluttering in your chest. It’s a little unfair, you think. Actually, no, it’s extremely unfair. It’s extremely unfair that Kim Mingyu was quite literally the perfect guy for you, and you couldn’t have him because he was your best friend. It was extremely unfair that he knew you so well, but he couldn’t seem to figure out that you were in love with him. Most of all, it was extremely unfair that he loved you so well through his actions, but he didn’t love you in the way you wanted him to, in the way you were so in love with him.

It’s in that hospital cafeteria, watching Mingyu eat the chicken like it was his last meal, that you realize that you were still hopelessly in love with Kim Mingyu despite your efforts these past few months to forget him. Maybe asking the man you’re in love with to help you move on from him wasn’t the best idea, but did you ever really think straight when it came to Kim Mingyu?

For a second, you allow yourself to pretend. You allow yourself to imagine that Kim Mingyu is your loving boyfriend who has decided to drop by your workplace after realizing that you probably haven’t eaten lunch. You imagine he’s in love with you just as much as you are with him, and you imagine that that is the reason why he finds himself here. Not because he was a good friend, not because your mother and his mother would kill him for not looking after you, not because he feels obligated to, but because he’s absolutely, undoubtedly, recklessly, unconditionally in love with you.

For a second, you allow yourself to believe that maybe that isn’t too far from the truth.

– 

Choi Seungcheol wishes he had never gone to the gym today.

It had started out okay, really. His body felt strong, his lifts were all successful, and his knee wasn’t acting up, for once. The day ahead of him was looking bright with nothing but sunshine and perfect lifts awaiting for him. That notion of his, however, quickly comes crashing down when a familiar woman walks in: Song Haneul.

Why is she a problem, you ask? Simple. 

Choi Seungcheol is an observant man. He knows that Mingyu’s stupidly in love with you. He’s had to endure watching the man pine after you like an idiot since high school. Seungcheol also knows that you’re somewhat into Mingyu as well, but he couldn’t be too sure because you didn’t wear your heart on your sleeve the same way his idiot of a friend did. Lastly, Seungcheol knows Song Haneul, and he knows about the stupid crush she’s had on Mingyu since she joined the gym two years ago. 

Seungcheol had to watch Haneul constantly hit on Mingyu (it was borderline harassment, really), and he had to watch Mingyu constantly reject her. She had disappeared after a particularly harsh refusal from Mingyu–not harsh enough Seungcheol thinks–and went to pursue modeling for a while. Seungcheol thought that was the end of her story, but the way she’s sashaying her way into the gym with that arrogant look on her face has Seungcheol concluding that it was not.

It was going to be hell the moment you, Mingyu, and this woman were in the same room.

(Seungcheol wonders if he should leave early for his own peace of mind or stay behind to have more gossip material that he can share with Jeonghan.)

“Hi Cheol,” is the first thing that leaves Haneul’s mouth, and Seungcheol is already thinking of what he can say to quickly leave the conversation. “How have you been?”

Seungcheol prays that he isn’t this woman’s next object of obsession. He doesn’t think he can be as courteous as Mingyu, and he doesn’t really want his inability to fake social grace to negatively impact the gym’s reputation, “Good, you?”

Somehow, Haneul takes his curt response as an opportunity to give Seungcheol a lengthy recap of what she’s been doing for the past year. Briefly, Seungcheol wonders what sin he committed in his past life to be subjected to this. He was almost tempted to just drop his dumbbells on the ground and walk out of the gym, at this point.

Fortunately for Seungcheol, Mingyu walks into the gym like a knight in shining armor, and Seungcheol is quickly tossed aside like a trend that has gone out of fashion.

Predictable.

Mingyu’s horrified eyes meet Seungcheol’s pitying gaze. The taller man’s lips soundlessly morph into a cry for help as the woman approaches, but Seungcheol can only salute his fallen comrade. Mingyu was on his own for this one, and he just had to survive it. Plus, it’s not like Seungcheol could do anything to help Mingyu without sacrificing his own peace.

However, things get truly interesting the moment you walk in, and the first thing your eyes lock onto is the sight of Haneul slapping Mingyu’s bicep as her obnoxious laughter filled the gym. Seungcheol doesn’t miss the way your eyes narrow as you pause in your steps. He also doesn’t miss the way your lips pull into a frown when Haneul starts batting her lash extensions at Mingyu and asks him to help her with her workout for the day. Mingyu, unfortunately, didn’t have a choice but to agree since there were no other trainers—aside from Seungcheol—present to help.

“What’s your split today?” Seungcheol nearly jumps out of his skin at the sound of your voice behind him. He had been so focused on watching Mingyu dig his own grave that he didn’t notice you appearing beside him.

Seungcheol pretends he doesn’t see the way Mingyu sends a questioning glance his way.

“Lower body,” Seungcheol watches you from the mirror as you do your usual stretches. For a second, he considers destroying the bro code. It’s no wonder Mingyu hung around you like a feral, overtly territorial golden retriever. If Mingyu hadn’t declared you completely off-limits that one drunken night, Seungcheol would have long made moves on you. “Wanna join?”

However, that bro code doesn’t stop Seungcheol from occasionally flirting with you just to fuck with Mingyu like he’s doing now. He’s just doing Mingyu a favor by making the taller man realize that if he doesn’t man up and confess, someone else will be taking his spot. 

Seungcheol’s just being a good friend, really.

“Sure, what are we starting with?”

Seungcheol ignores the daggers that Mingyu’s eyes were mentally flinging at him.

— 

You had no reason to be jealous. Absolutely. None.

First of all, Mingyu was your best friend, not your boyfriend. He wasn’t betraying you by entertaining the advances of a woman who was actually on his level. You couldn’t fault him for that.

Second of all, this isn’t the first time you’ve had to watch him interact with pretty girls while you remain discarded on the side like a toy that had lost its shine. After all, a good chunk of your college experience was spent interacting with pretty women who only ever got close to you to get closer to Mingyu. You had watched what seemed like genuine female friends ditch you the moment you introduced them to Mingyu, and you watched as Mingyu set you aside just as quickly to interact with a new bombshell you once called your friend.

Third, it’s not like you were ever in the competition.

It’s a little stupid, you think. You had spent months on improving yourself, working tirelessly to look better and hopefully feel better, and for a while, you genuinely believed that things were going to go well. That, coupled with Mingyu’s weirdly affectionate behavior, had you believing for a second that maybe, just maybe, you had a shot. Clearly, you did not.

Seeing the girl freely touching Mingyu like that had you feeling like college you again: unwanted, unimportant, undesired. It’s like all your progress from the past few months all went down the drain, and you’re back to feeling like the girl that was never anyone’s option. 

At your age, you think it shouldn’t be affecting you anymore. Insecurities rooted in teenage angst and college drama shouldn’t be affecting you this much, but for some reason, it still did. You thought that maybe once you fixed yourself to fit, people would finally realize that you, too, were worth noticing, that maybe, they just couldn’t see your potential the way they seemed to do for everyone else but you. The stupid part of you hopes that maybe Mingyu will realize it too.

You didn’t bother saying goodbye to Mingyu once you finished. The moment you and Seungcheol finished the workout, you bid your goodbye to the man and left to go change without even doing your cooldown. You think that no ache in your body could ever outdo the ache in your heart.

The rest of your night follows the monotonous routine it usually does when Mingyu isn’t around. You board the train, get off the train, enter your apartment, eat your dinner, shower, curl up in your bed, and scroll through your phone.

ck.fitness_seoul added to their story.

There’s a feeling in your gut that’s telling you not to click it, but before you can listen to it, your finger has already pressed onto the notification on your screen.

It’s a repost of an Instagram story from a verified account, @sng_haneul.

Like a cruel joke from the universe, a mirror selfie of the girl from earlier with Mingyu stares at you in the darkness of your room. Mingyu’s sitting on a bench with a wide smile, and a few centimeters behind him is Haneul, you assume that’s her name, who has one hand holding up her phone and the other hand clasped on Mingyu’s shoulder in a possessive manner.

With my favorite trainer (he’s off limits, by the way 😜)

Game fucking over, you guess.

Your phone falls onto the bed with a soft thud as jealousy and self-doubt swims in your veins like a brutal concoction formulated by your insecurities. You can’t help the way a tear escapes from your eye before your body eventually breaks into full blown sobs.

A hundred questions flood your mind like a river that had broken through a poorly-built dam. It rushes in with no mercy, no thought. What if you had been born beautiful? What if you didn’t have to work twice as hard just to look half as good? Would life be easier? Surely, it would be in a society like this where looks seemed to matter more than your own credentials. Would anyone take the time to finally look your way? Would Mingyu?

You wish you were her, really. You wish you had been like every other pretty girl that Mingyu had dated. You wish you were the kind of pretty that turned heads in a room, the kind of pretty where you never had to worry about anything else because your looks alone would get you through the problems of everyday life. What a fucking dream, you think.

What a shame you’ll never be that.

Something dies in you that night, you think. You’ve done your part, you’ve put in the work, and you’ve realized that even that was not enough. The only option you had now was to accept it, to accept that no amount of hard work would change the fact that destiny has placed you on the path of endless solitude.

You win, you almost want to scream it to the sky like maybe if you had cried hard enough, the universe would finally take pity on you and do something right.

That never happens.

It’s two weeks into your plan of avoiding Mingyu for the rest of your life that you realize just how much space he takes up in your life. 

His good morning texts remain unanswered which means your short break periods in the morning are left unoccupied. The food deliveries he sends to your workplace is immediately given to the other staff upon your request. The most jarring change of it all was that you no longer went to C&K Fitness Center, choosing to work out with Jihyo in a gym that was located a greater distance from your apartment. You enjoyed Jihyo’s company, you really did, but she wasn’t Mingyu.

It’s during a particularly tiring leg day session fueled by self-deprecation and bitterness that Jihyo decides that enough was enough and that you need to move on soon.

“Ok, this isn’t working,” Jihyo motions for you to drop the barbell onto the floor. “You’re going to injure yourself with how hard you’re going.”

She’s right, but you were too numb to really feel anything. “I know, sorry.”

“Do you want to trash his car like a crazy ex?” Jihyo offers jokingly, but you can tell that if you said yes, she actually would pull through with it, zero hesitation.

“We were never even together,” You clarify, plopping down beside Jihyo on the bench. “We were just friends.”

“And somehow, it’s still worse than actual break-up,” comes Jihyo’s reply, her eyes practically staring into your soul through the mirror. “Do you want to go get wasted?”

“Tempting,” You snort. “Are we going to dress up pretty while getting wasted?”

“Hell yes,” Jihyo grins at you. “Who knows, maybe you’ll find a hottie there.”

You sigh at that, “If it happens, then it happens, but I’m not looking for anything right now.”

“Don’t worry girl, they’ll be coming to you with how hot you look. Plus, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” Jihyo winks. “This Friday, okay? No backing out.”

“I’ll give you permission to drag me out if I do.”

“Yes!” Jihyo cheers, arms wrapping around you as she practically buzzes on her seat. “I’m so excited already. Do you want me to do your make-up? I can if you want me to. Ooh, I can come over then we can prepare together…”

A fond smile creeps onto your face as you listen to Jihyo ramble excitedly about the sudden plans for Friday. It’s not too bad, you think. Despite not being in a romantic relationship, you still had people like Jihyo who loved you in their own way, and not many people could say that they had a ride-or-die akin to the girl beside you.

That night, you sleep a little lighter. Unlike the other days that felt like an endless routine of getting up, going to work, working out, and sleeping, you finally had something to look forward to. 

Baby steps, you think.

Nothing lasted forever, after all, not even the pain you were feeling.

—

Mingyu chose to give you the benefit of the doubt, but Jihyo’s Instagram story is quick to make him take it back.

It’s a harmless mirror selfie, Jihyo’s standing dead center and posing to flex her muscles, but that’s not what catches Mingyu’s eye. What catches Mingyu’s eye is the sight of your side profile that he’s memorized by heart in the background of that mirror selfie.

You had texted him two weeks ago that you wouldn’t be able to come to the gym as often because you were swamped with work. Mingyu didn’t know it then, but “not being able to come to the gym as often” was just another way of you saying that you weren’t coming at all. 

At first, Mingyu let it go. Maybe you really were just busy.  He knows your job can get hectic every once in a while. For a while, Mingyu had let himself believe that, but once you stopped replying to—hell, even just checking—his messages, he came to the conclusion that you were actually avoiding him. The sight of you in the gym that Jihyo goes to quickly cements that conclusion as a fact.

What Mingyu doesn’t know, however, is why you’re avoiding him. You’ve fought before, over stupid things and major things, but none of them ever happened like this. None of them started out with a sudden radio silence that Mingyu thinks is wholly unwarranted. He had done nothing to you, why would you avoid him?

“Yah, you’re thinking too much,” Seungcheol says with a kick to Mingyu’s foot. “Maybe she’s just busy.”

The phone in Mingyu’s hand is held up for Seungcheol to see, and the older man quickly pulls a face. “Well, nevermind. Maybe just go apologize, dude.”

“I don’t even know why she’s suddenly avoiding me!” Mingyu breathes out, a little frustrated. “How am I going to apologize when I don’t even know what I did wrong.”

Seungcheol almost looks like he wants to say something, but Mingyu ignores it to continue rambling. “We were doing so well, I thought I had a shot for once, and now, this happens. What the fuck am I supposed to do?”

“Mingyu, chill,” Seungcheol clasps a firm hand on Mingyu’s shoulder. “Maybe you just need a drink.”

Mingyu gives Seungcheol an incredulous look. “Getting shitfaced isn’t going to make her stop avoiding me, hyung.”

“It won’t, but it’ll help you relax,” Seungcheol suggests. “And after that, you can talk to her when you’re not as tense.”

Mingyu is silent for a while. Was he trying to lay off the alcohol? Yes. Was Choi Seungcheol’s offer starting to sound a little reasonable? Also yes. Maybe a bit of unwinding would give his brain the space to reflect.

“Fine.” Mingyu relents. Screw Choi Seungcheol for making the idea of a liver-destroying session look tempting.

“Nice, let’s drink on Friday,” Seungcheol grins. 

“Can’t we drink now?” Mingyu asks. 

“I’m busy until Thursday,” Seungcheol replies as he grabs one of the dumbbells from the rack. “This business doesn’t run itself after all.”

Despite Mingyu’s impatience, Friday night comes quicker than he expected it to, and the next thing he knows, he’s in a night club a few blocks away from his apartment.

Fuck Choi Seungcheol, honestly.

When Seungcheol said that they were going out drinking, Mingyu had imagined himself in a quiet bar throwing back the strongest concoctions of alcohol that the establishment was legally allowed to serve. He had imagined himself babbling out his heartaches after a few rounds of drinking shitty beer. What he didn’t imagine was that Seungcheol would drag him to a fucking a night club of all places.

Usually, he would enjoy this. Mingyu, being the absolute extrovert he is, would’ve made sure that he was the life of the party and put all those amateur fuckboys on the dance floor to shame with his good looks and even better dance moves. He’d flirt with a girl or two, just for the fun of it, then quickly backtrack when he suddenly finds himself calling them by your name like a fucking idiot. He’s done that, once or twice, and each landed with a slap that had his face stinging for the rest of the night.

Mingyu was not in the mood for any of that, and he doesn’t think he will be anytime soon.

“Hyung, you don’t even like clubbing, why are we here?” Mingyu’s a little snippy, but could anyone really blame him? The music was shit, the lights were blinding, and the atmosphere was chaotic. On top of that, Mingyu has had to fend off the advances of multiple women who seemed hellbent on getting him to come home with them. Whatever patience he had was quickly thinning out.

“I thought you liked clubbing?” Seungcheol asks, taking a sip from his drink. 

“Not when I’m at my lowest—” Mingyu has to stop himself from cursing when another person ‘accidentally’ bumps his side.

The woman is quick to bat her lashes and apologize, “Sorry, I didn’t see you there. Maybe I could get you a drink to make up for it—“

“I have a girlfriend,” is the only thing Mingyu says before dragging Seungcheol to a less crowded area of the club. “Hyung, let’s just go eat jokbal and drink some beer—“

“Mingyu, don’t do anything stupid,” Seungcheol cuts Mingyu off, eyes wide as he points somewhere behind Mingyu. “But isn’t that Y/N?”

The speed at which Mingyu’s head whips around to find you is almost comical, and when Mingyu finally sees you, his breath hitches.

The only thing Mingyu can see is red. From the brick of your high heels, to the scarlet of your silk dress to the rose of your lips, to the quickly decreasing distance between you and some man that Mingu has never met—

—Mingyu sees red.

“Mingyu—“ Seungcheol’s attempt to keep Mingyu rooted is futile as his hand swipes uselessly through the air.

Mingyu storms over to your seated form, arms pushing through the crowd to reach you as soon as possible. There’s nothing going through his head, his movements fueled by an inexplicable anger that has him wanting to paint the countertop crimson with the man’s face.

The moment your eyes lock onto Mingyu’s frame, all his restraint flies out the window.

Before Mingyu can stop himself, his hand has already pulled you to him by the back of your neck, his lips crashing against yours in a way that cannot be described as anything other than ravenous. Like the piece of shit he knew he was being, Mingyu completely commits to his recklessness and dips his tongue into your mouth.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, he thinks. Mingyu envisioned your first kiss to be tender, sweet, something you’ll initiate after he impresses you with the best date of your life, but it isn’t like that. Instead, it’s all teeth, tongue, and a desperation to claim. He knows what he’s doing is wrong, but mix a bit of alcohol, a whole lot of anger, and 20 years of pining, and this is what you get. 

When he pulls away, the first thing he does is to look at the man beside you who looked absolutely livid and disgusted all at once. Mingyu only says one word, but the other man is quick to scramble away at the dark look in Mingyu’s eye, “Move.”

“Fuck you!” Comes out of the man’s mouth as a last resort to save his ego as he stomps away angrily, but Mingyu only flips him off with a glare as he starts dragging you out of the night club with a tight grip on your arm.

“Mingyu, what is wrong with you?!” Mingyu can feel you struggling against him, heels digging into the ground in an attempt to root yourself as Mingyu pushes through sweaty bodies and cages you in his arms, refusing to let anyone crash into you. “Let me go!”

The cool air of the night washes over Mingyu like a bucket of water as the two of you stand in the empty street, his grip around you finally loosening. With the threat immediately gone, the gravity of his actions suddenly weighs him down. He had fucked up, immensely.

“Are we just going to stand here?” Your voice is steady, but Mingyu can hear the storm brewing underneath it. With eyes narrowed and lips pursed, you continue speaking, “You dragged me out against my will, aren’t you at least going to explain yourself?”

“I’m sorry,” is the only thing Mingyu can say, shrinking underneath your gaze. He wouldn’t blame you if you completely cut ties with him after the stunt he pulled.

“Sorry?” The laugh you let out is humorless. “Mingyu, I was having such a nice time with him, and you just had to meddle!”

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Mingyu spits out, the anger that had once subsided slowly rekindling itself at the mention of the man who had been all over you just a few moments ago. “That asshole doesn’t deserve to even be around–”

“Mingyu, you don’t get to decide what I deserve!” comes your exasperated reply, eyes glistening under the streetlights. “I’m capable of making my own choices–”

“And of all the fucking people in this world you chose that?!” Mingyu can’t help the way his voice raises as he leans down to get his point across. “You avoid me for two weeks, and for what? To go on a date with that piece of shit?”

“Why does it matter to you?!” Your own voice raises, refusing to back down as you glare up at him. “You’ve literally dated so many women. Did you ever see me kiss you out of nowhere and flip your fucking date off?!”

“Well, maybe you should have!” Mingyu shouts back before he can think through his words. 

The silence is louder than any other shout that has left either of your mouths that night. It weighs heavily in the air, and the two of you remain in a standstill where nothing is exchanged but the heat of your gazes.

Mingyu sees the way your shoulders sink, the way your brows soften from anger into confusion. “Mingyu, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that you should’ve kissed me then,” Mingyu knows there’s no turning back. This isn’t how he expected his confession to go, didn’t expect that he’d be emptying his heart out and filling this desolate street with 20 years of everything he had left bottled and unspoken. “You should’ve fucking kissed me then, and maybe you wouldn’t have to complain about being lonely and settle for people who don’t deserve you–”

For the second time that night, Mingyu feels your lips on his, and this time, he makes sure to commit every bit of it to memory as he pulls you in by your waist. Your hands grip tightly on the collar of his shirt as you kiss him, your lips moving against his in a clumsy way that gives your inexperience away. Mingyu’s eyes nearly roll back at the thought, his lips morphing into a grin on your lips.

For a second, you pull away, and Mingyu finds himself chasing your lips with his own, only to be stopped by the words that leave your mouth, “Take me home, Gyu.”

Without wasting a second, Mingyu obliges.

–

You’ve been on this bed before, but not like this.

“Gyu!” You cry out at the feeling of Mingyu practically making out with your cunt, hands grabbing lightly at his hair to ground yourself. He licks and sucks all the right places, fingers digging into the sides of your thighs as he pushes them closer to his head. “Too much!”

Mingyu doesn’t pull away, hellbent on getting you to cum in his mouth. Your feeble attempts of squirming away from the overwhelming feeling that floods your veins are nothing compared to Mingyu’s iron grip on you. He continues mercilessly like a man that had been denied far too long, his lips wrapping around your clit to suck it as two of his fingers pump in and out of your core. “Gyu, stop, I’m gonna cum!”

“Then cum,” is the only thing Mingyu says to you, dark eyes boring into yours like a command as he fucks his fingers in and out of you in a way that has your toes curling. “Be good for me and cum–”

With a cry that breaks into a soundless scream, you cum, head thrown back in pleasure as you squirm and convulse under Mingyu’s hold and ministrations. It’s nothing like the nights you spent with your fingers stuffed up your cunt, the image of Mingyu burned into your head as you rode your high with shame. This? This was something not even your own imagination could create. Kim Mingyu has ruined you, you think. There’s no way you’re going to cum without his touch without being disappointed.

“What a good girl,” Mingyu whispers against your skin, eyes half-lidded as he licks on the wetness on your thighs. “You’re even prettier when you cum.”

You mewl at the words, the feeling, head in a haze as Mingyu trails kisses from your thighs, to your stomach, to your chest, and finally, to your lips. Mingyu kisses you sensually, hands running up and down your bare skin as he gropes and feels whatever softness his fingers can touch. Mingyu pulls away, nosing at your neck as his hands go to squeeze the globes of your chest. “Can you cum for me again, baby?”

Despite just coming from an orgasm, you’re quick to nod, fingers tugging at Mingyu’s boxers to tell him that you want all of it off. 

“That’s my girl,” Mingyu grins, hands parting from your chest to pull off his boxers. 

Rest in peace, you think to yourself as you eye the absolute monster in front of you. Who the fuck would have known that Kim Mingyu was hiding a third leg between his legs?

“What the fuck?” It comes out of your mouth faster than you can stop it. Oh my god, you were going to die. “Mingyu, where the actual fuck is all of that going to go?”

The serious expression on Mingyu’s face is completely wiped off as he cackles at your words. Good on him for finding it funny, but you did not! You’re not completely naive. You know that dicks get big when they’re hard, you knew that they could–theoretically–get this big, but you didn’t think you’d be the one taking it. 

“Mingyu, I’m serious,” You look at the way it stands tall, twitching against Mingyu’s abdomen every once in a while as liquid oozes from its tip. The sight of it has you scooching back on the bed, but Mingyu is quick to pull you back under him by your ankle. “Where are we going to put all that?”

With a soft thud, your back hits the bed, Mingyu’s form looming over you like a wolf getting ready to sink its fangs into its prey, which is–in this case–you. Despite the laughing session he had earlier, Mingyu’s gaze is back to the dark, half-lidded gaze he was sporting when he was eating you out like a starved man. “You’re free to choose where I put my dick, baby.”

Mingyu brushes a finger across your lips, “Do you want it here?”

Your breath hitches as his finger slowly traces from your lips down to the curve of your throat. “Here?”

If you weren’t so turned on, you’d be horrified at the idea of Mingyu stuffing the entirety of his cock down your throat, but fuck, you were so unbelievably gone that the idea of gagging on it like a whore only had you getting wetter.

“Or here?” Mingyu grins devilishly when you let out a long whine, two of his fingers plunging into your pussy to rub at your walls. He leans down until his lips are brushing against your ear. “Oh? I think you want it here.”

Reason has eluded you, lust flooding your brain at the sensation of Mingyu’s fingers rubbing the rough patch in your core. “Yes, please!”

“I thought you were scared though?” Mingyu doesn’t stop the ministrations within your walls as he taunts you, lips brushing against your jaw.

“I’m not,” You sigh out, eyes shut tight as you focus on the feeling of Mingyu’s rough fingers. “I can take it!”

“If you say so,” Mingyu grins against your cheek before he presses a quick kiss on it. For a second, he pulls away. Quickly, he opens the drawer beside his bed and pulls out a condom to roll on.

“Wow, you take girls here often?” You joke, but Mingyu only narrows his eyes at you as he rolls the condom onto his cock.

“Stop that,” Mingyu chides, hand guiding his shaft to rub through the puffy lips of your pussy. “You’re the only girl who’s been here in years.”

For a second, that alarms you. “Years? Dude, are you sure those aren’t expired?”

“Are you–” Mingyu gapes at you. “My dick is literally about to enter you and you’re still calling me dude?”

“Sorry, force of habit,” You smile at him sheepishly before going back to your initial concern. “No, but seriously, go check the packaging.”

Mingyu groans in annoyance before opening his drawer to pull out the box. “October. There’s two weeks left.”

“Oh, good to hear.” You sigh out in relief, laying back. “Have at it, then.”

Mingyu gives you an exasperated look before he throws the box of condoms to the side. “Fuck, you’re lucky I love you, or I would’ve gone soft already.”

You laugh at that, Mingyu pouting as he positions the tip of his cock at your entrance. “Yeah, let’s see if you still have the energy to laugh when I’m fucking you.”

With absolutely zero warning, Mingyu’s cock slams into you, the girth of it stretching you out in a way that has your mouth falling open into a silent scream.

At the sight of your lewd expression, Mingyu grins, hips slowly pulling back and forth as he grabs at your waist. “Not so mouthy now, no?”

“Fuck, Gyu!” You whine out, back arching as the tip of Mingyu’s cock hits the deepest part of your pussy. “Shit wait, too big!”

Your words do nothing to deter Mingyu. It only feeds his ego as he continues his slow pace, “You said you could take it though?”

Mingyu gives a particularly rough thrust that has your back arching. You’re not going to survive this, you think. Despite Mingyu’s teasing words, you can tell that he’s holding back, keeping his pace slow to let you adjust. He hasn’t even entered you to the hilt, hasn’t fucked you at a faster pace.

“I can,” You breathe out shakily, fingers reaching out to pull Mingyu closer to you by the neck. “So stop stalling and fuck me like you mean it.”

Mingyu’s hips stutter as he groans against your neck. “Don’t say that unless you want me to fucking ruin you. I’m not kidding.”

“Who said I was?” You whisper sensually against Mingyu’s ear, pressing a soft kiss against his jaw as you wrap your arms around his neck. “Come on, Gyu. Be a good boy and fuck me like you want to.”

The whine that leaves Mingyu’s throat is downright sinful, and it’s the only warning you get before he starts pistoning his dick in and out of you at a bruising pace.

“Fuck, you little minx–” Mingyu lets out a moan at the squeeze of your cunt. “You shouldn’t have said that, fuck—“ 

Mingyu pulls away from your neck to crash his lips against yours, tongue violating your mouth the way his cock was violating your pussy. The way he fucks you is rough, desperate. He fucks you like he’s been wanting to do it for years, fucks you like it’s the only thing that’s been on his mind for the longest time. The sound of his hips colliding against yours is obscene, your wet cunt squelching at the way Mingyu drills himself into you like he’s trying to carve himself into you.

Fuck, you were going to cum again.

“Gyu,” You whine as Mingyu presses his forehead against yours, dark eyes trained on the way your face is scrunching up in pleasure. “Gyu, I’m gonna cum!”

“Fucking cum then,” Mingyu hisses out as your nails scratch down his back. “That’s it, mark me up. Let everyone know who I belong to.”

Your body seizes at the words that leave his mouth, your high crashing over you as Mingyu’s name leaves your mouth over and over like a mantra. “Cumming!”

At your cry, Mingyu pulls you tighter to him, face buried into your neck as he chases his own high. “Fuck, I love you, I love you, I love you–”

Mingyu repeats the words against your neck as if he wasn’t fucking you like a fleshlight, body pliant against his hold with no other choice but to take the harsh fucking he was giving you. It’s too much, you think, but somehow it’s not enough. You want this, want Mingyu to ruin you for everyone else, want Mingyu to turn you into a brainless mess whose head is filled with nothing but dick–

“Fuck, I’m cumming, take it!” Mingyu moans obscenely against your neck as his hips stutter, cock burying itself to the hilt as he wraps his arms around your head.

For a second, neither of you speak, your ragged breaths being the only sound to fill the room as Mingyu lays his head on your chest. The atmosphere of the room coupled with the way Mingyu’s pressing kisses on your chest and running his hands running up and down your body has you floating, the scent of sweat and sex making your head hazy.

“Did you mean it?” You ask softly, hand coming up to brush through Mingyu’s hair. You needed to know if the words truly came from Mingyu’s heart or if it was just the sex talking. 

“I do,” Mingyu sits up, looking at you with the softest look on his eyes. He looks even better like this, you think. Hair messy, cheeks flushed, lips wet, and body lined with marks from you. “I love you. I always have.”

Mingyu carries your body from the bed before he lies back against the headboard of his bed, sitting you on his lap as he pulls you into his embrace. “I love you so much, and my greatest mistake was not telling you sooner.”

Warmth blooms through your chest at that, tears pricking at your eyes as you stare into his eyes, “I love you too, Gyu.”

The corner of Mingyu’s lips lift up in a smile as he reaches out to brush the strands of hair away from your face. “Not as much as I love you.”

“Is this seriously about to be a competition?” You joke, fingers tracing Mingyu’s features adoringly with your finger. “Cause you’re going to lose, by the way.”

“Highly doubt that,” Mingyu grins as he bites your finger lightly, a frown making its way to your face as you pull back with a small ‘ouch’. “Fuck wait, I think I’m getting hard again.”

Ah, so that’s what was poking at your ass.

You laugh a little at that, “You pervert, what are you even getting hard for?”

“The woman I love is literally naked on my lap and telling me she loves me,” Mingyu pouts, hands splaying across your hips as he presses your core closer to his hardening cock. “Sorry, for being horny and in love, I guess.”

A giggle–shit, you were absolutely gone–leaves your lips as you grind back and forth on his cock. Your lips curl into a seductive smile, fingernails dragging down Mingyu’s pec as you whisper against his ear, “Round 2?”

Mingyu throws his head back with a groan at your suggestion, goosebumps rising on his skin as his fingers dig deeper into your hips. “Fuck, I though you wouldn’t ask.”

The world tilts on its axis and you find yourself on all fours. You hear the sound of Mingyu ripping another condom open, and it’s the only thing you register before Mingyu slams his cock back into your pussy. 

The new position has your eyes crossing and tongue lolling out, fingers digging into the sheets that your cheek was planted into as your pussy takes Mingyu’s rough pounding. The sensation is mind-numbing, your nerves tingling at every end as Mingyu brands himself into your walls. You could already tell, you were going to get addicted to this, addicted to the sensation of Mingyu roughing you up and taking you as he pleases. 

“Shit, I can go so much deeper like this,” Mingyu hisses as he tangles his fingers into your hair and digs the others into your ass. “You don’t know how long I’ve been imagining this, fuck–”

A ringing sound rips through the air, and despite being in a mindless haze your eyes are quick to narrow at the phone buzzing on Mingyu’s bedside table. “Gyu, your phone.”

“Fuck, I don’t care, ignore it.” Mingyu drops more of his weight onto you, hands bracing himself on either side of you as he fucks you prone bone. Unlike you, he’s undeterred, hips continuing in their onslaught against your pussy.

Mingyu’s lips capture yours from behind, tongue dipping into your mouth as breathy moans escape the man’s throat. He was kissing you so sensually that you could almost ignore the obnoxious ringing of his phone.

Almost.

Annoyed at the disturbance, you grab the phone to look at the caller ID.

Song Haneul (Seoul Branch Client)

Immediately, ice floods your veins.

“Who is it?” Mingyu asks as he slows his thrusts to a gentle pace.

“Mingyu, why is Haneul calling you this late?” You ask, and Mingyu’s thrusts pause.

Mingyu curses as he rests his forehead on your back. “Don’t answer it, she’s insane.”

“Are you guys…” You don’t finish your sentence, too afraid of the answer.

Immediately, Mingyu is straightening up and pulling out of you, looking at you like you’ve gone mad. “Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not that.”

You narrow your eyes at Mingyu, holding the phone up to drive your point across. “Then why is she calling you?”

“She likes me, okay? But I don’t know why she’s calling me this late.” Mingyu runs a hand down his face, frustration bleeding into his words. “Baby, just end the call. Don’t let her ruin this night for us.”

Mingyu pulls you into his arms, pressing kisses against your face as he runs his hands up and down your waist to appease you.  “Come on, you’re literally the one in my bed right now.”

You’re still unconvinced, so with a blank look on your face, you hold the phone up to him. “Answer it then.”

Mingyu frowns at you for a second before his face morphs into something darker. He grabs the phone and throws it beside the pillow before pushing you onto your back, the tip of his cock positioned at your entrance as his finger approaches the screen of his phone.

“You want me to answer it?” Mingyu’s voice is low against your ear, and you’re starting to have a very bad feeling about the entire situation.

Something tells you that this isn’t going to end well for you, your heart pounding violently in your chest as Mingyu slips his cock back inside you. The feeling quickly has your breath hitching, pleasured sighs falling from your lips as Mingyu presses a kiss against your ear.

Mingyu’s next words have you freezing, “How about you answer for me?”

“Mingyu, you finally answered my call!” A high-pitched voice with a drunken drawl erupts from the phone.

Shit.

–

Mingyu doesn’t know if he’s a genius or insane.

It’s a stupidly fine line, he thinks.

He’s dragging his cock in and out of you, slowly, torturously, watching on with a grin as you struggle to form coherent sentences.

“Mingyu’s–” Mingyu pushes himself deeply into you–as much as your tiny little pussy would allow. The way you choke on your words has him floating on a different high. “Mingyu’s asleep right now.”

“Oh! Sorry, who is this?” If it weren’t for the tight grip that your dripping cunt had on him, Mingyu would’ve gone soft at the sound of that pesky, obnoxious voice. “Are you his sister?”

Mingyu scoffs at that, leaning down to whisper against your other ear as he gives you a deep thrust. “Go on, answer her. Are you?”

The way your eyes roll back at Mingyu’s voice strokes his ego in a way that’s almost criminal. Only the universe knows how much he was holding back from fucking you boneless on his mattress, but he doesn’t think you’d be able to stay quiet.

Honestly, he didn’t mind. He couldn’t care less if Haneul heard him fuck you like an animal. Maybe she’ll finally take the hint when she hears you and realizes that she could never be you. She would never be on Mingyu’s bed taking his cock like a champ. She would never be in Mingyu’s heart the way you have been for the past two decades. It’s genius, Mingyu thinks. You could stake your claim on him, and that annoying woman would finally leave him alone. It’s a win-win for the two of you, and the only thing actually stopping him is the fact that you’d never forgive him if he did pull through with that idea.

So Mingyu sticks to his shallow thrusts and soft kisses despite that dark desire in the pit of his stomach that wants to fuck you dumb on his cock until the only thing you can do is babble his name.

“I’m a friend–” Mingyu gives you a particularly rough thrust to communicate his disagreement with your words.

“I’m balls deep in you, and I’m still your friend?” Mingyu pouts against your ear. “I’m hurt.”

You’re trying to glare at him, you really are, and Mingyu almost wants to coddle you and praise you for trying so hard, but he’s enjoying the situation too much. For a second, you pull the phone far away and cover the mic to hide the way you hiss at Mingyu, “Gyu, shut up–”

“Hello? Is anyone still there?”

“Yes, sorry!” You manage to breathe out. “I’ll tell him to call you back, bye!”

The moment you end the call, Mingyu fucks you with no mercy.

“Fuck, Mingyu!” You cry out, nails digging into his shoulders as he slams in and out of you.

“Good girl,” Mingyu purrs in your ear. “Let me reward you.”

Round 2 that night becomes Round 3, and it’s all a blur after that.

Mingyu remembers taking you in whatever position he could manhandle you in: mating press, doggy, against his window, on the floor, in front of his mirror–Mingyu swears at one point you were riding him, tits bouncing in his mouth as you rode his cock like he was nothing more than a toy for your pleasure. Mingyu remembers being so angry then, so upset at the idea that the two of you could have been doing this much sooner. You could’ve been riding him until he was shooting blanks, could’ve been kissing him until he forgot how to breathe without your sighs in his mouth. Fuck, he wishes he could turn back time.

It doesn’t matter though, Mingyu thinks. He had the rest of his life to love you right and fuck you hard.

By the end of it all, the box in Mingyu’s drawer is empty, and you’re curled up on his side like a cat seeking warmth as you sleep. With a stupid grin on his face, Mingyu pulls you closer to him, lips pressing softly against your forehead.

“I love you,” He whispers against your hair, hoping that the proximity of lips to your head would allow the words to penetrate your dream. It probably doesn’t work that way, but it won’t stop him from trying.

Fuck, he was stupidly in love with you.

–

The morning after the debauchery that took place in Mingyu’s bed was a nightmare.

The sun filtering through Mingyu’s curtains falls on your eyes, pulling you away from the clutches of slumber. When you move to stretch, the first thing you feel is the inexplicable ache spread throughout your body. There was no other way to describe it other than horrible. Not even a particularly tiring day at the gym could bang you up this much. What the fuck had you been doing–

Memories of last night flash through your mind like a compilation of absolutely unhinged pornos, and suddenly, you remember exactly why you were aching like you had just been hit by a truck, a 187-cm truck with no concept of restraint, to be exact.

A burn settles in your cheeks as you catch sight of yourself in the mirror. You looked like a wreck, a really hot wreck. Your hair was messy, your body was littered with marks, but fuck, you looked like you were glowing. Who needed skincare when you could just get Mingyu to fuck you?

Speaking of Mingyu, you look around the room, looking for the man. When you realize he isn’t with you, you move to pick up his shirt from the floor and wear it, your body aching in protest at every movement you make.

You were going to kill Mingyu, you swear.

Slowly, you pad out of Mingyu’s room, following the sounds of clanking pots and boiling water. Each of your movements are slow, your legs struggling to carry your own weight after the brutal pounding you took last night. You were never going to do that again. Kim Mingyu could use his hand for the rest of his goddamned life. 

However, you’re quick to take your words back the moment you step foot onto the kitchen.

Sunlight streams through the kitchen windows and bathes Mingyu’s skin golden. His dark brows are furrowed in concentration as he plates the pancakes in front of him, fingers carefully placing the strawberry on top of the whipped cream. The smile that forms on his face is bright as he realizes that the strawberry was successfully placed on the pancake. The look on his face was so pure that you could almost ignore the way his pajama pants hung loosely underneath the soft outline of his abs.

This was every woman’s wet dream, what the fuck?

You’d let him fuck a basketball team into you if he wanted to.

“Good morning,” It's the first time you speak since last night, and your cheeks burn when you realize that your voice is hoarse. “What are you doing?”

“Making you breakfast–” The pure smile on Mingyu’s face falls when his eyes lock onto your form. He straightens up with a groan, hands coming up to cover his face. “You seriously can’t be doing this to me right now.”

You give him a weird look as you walk to stand beside him, eyes locking onto the heart-shaped pancakes on the counter. “Aw, Gyu, this is so cute!”

“Why are you wearing my shirt?” Mingyu whines as he wraps his arms around you from behind, chin falling onto your shoulder as he watches you coo at the pancake. 

“Couldn’t find my clothes,” You reply before going back to the pancakes in front of you, pressing a quick kiss to Mingyu's cheek. “Thank you for breakfast.”

Mingyu only gives you a tight smile, grip around you tightening as he whispers in a deceptively sweet tone. “Eat up. You’ll need it~”

The next thing you know, your plate is empty and your cunt is full, Mingyu roughly hitting it from the back as he bends you over on his kitchen counter.

“You pervert!” You mewl out, tits pressed against the cool marble surface as Mingyu’s cock slides in and out of you.

Mingyu only moans shamelessly, hands groping at the flesh of your ass as he watches his cock batter your poor pussy. You had it coming, really. You sealed your fate the moment you walked into the kitchen in nothing but his shirt. 

“Only for you, baby.” Mingyu grins before his mouth falls open at the sudden clench of your walls. “Fuck, shit–”

“Cumming!” You whine out, stars exploding beneath your lids as you cum around his cock. “Gyu, pull out–”

With a swear, Mingyu gets a few more thrusts in to let you ride your high before he pulls out, hand pumping his cock furiously until he releases all over your bare back.

Mingyu breathes heavily for a second, basking in the afterglow and the sight of you covered in his cum before he drops to his knees.

“Thank you for breakfast,” is the only thing you hear from Mingyu before you feel his lips press a loud smack onto your cunt that has your back arching from overstimulation.

Then, like a gentleman, Mingyu pulls out tissues from his cupboard and wipes the cum off your back before he’s pressing a sweet kiss onto your lips. Fuck him for fucking you like an animal and acting so sweet after. He makes it so easy for you to forget how brutally he takes you when he acts like such a sweetheart after.

With a boyishly handsome grin, Mingyu whispers, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” You whisper, arms wrapping around his neck to pull him closer to you. “But maybe keep it in your pants for a while, I don’t think I can take more today.”

“No promises.” Mingyu chuckles as he presses a kiss onto your forehead. “You wanna go out later?”

“Are you asking me on a date?” You tease, fingers playing with the tips of his hair.

“Yes,” Mingyu replies. “I know I did it backwards, but can I take you out on a date?”

“Only if we get chicken and beer after.” You reply.

“You could ask me to buy you a farm and a brewery, and I would.”

“You’re insane.”

“Can’t help it, you drive me crazy.” Mingyu says before he captures your lips in another heated kiss.

It’s like nothing and everything has changed all at once. The two of you still bicker childishly the same way you’ve been doing for a long time, but unlike before, you’re no longer hiding the fact that you’re in love with Mingyu behind quips and teasing. Now, you’re free to kiss him the way you wanted, free to love him the way you’ve always dreamed of doing. It’s a nice change, you think.

It took a while, but you’re exactly where you wanted to be. The two of you still needed to sort things out, to clarify exactly what both of you wanted from it, but for now, you think that being wrapped in Mingyu’s arms is more than enough.

It looks like you didn’t lie to his mom after all. Chuseok was definitely going to be interesting this year when the two of you walk hand-in-hand while entering Mingyu’s childhood home.

A/N: Here’s your daily reminder to eat well and exercise when you can!! Please know that good health looks different on everyone, and anyone who gives you a hard time for not fitting their shallow standard of ‘healthy’ is being stupid. Anyone who knows what they're doing will make sure to have a comprehensive understanding of your history and lifestyle before giving out advice. Don’t let folks on the internet or real life bully you out of doing what’s best for your health!! Thank you for reading this far, I hope you all have a nice day <3

However, to you, the idea of having to marry a stranger for the sake of alliance and not out of love felt like a death sentence. The idea of surrendering your virtue and your body to some foreign prince who saw you as nothing but a bargaining chip made your stomach churn uncomfortably. 

So instead of sleeping, you find yourself at the archery range behind the eastern stables, long after the castle has fallen into slumber. 

The moon stands proud and high in the sky, washing over the training grounds and the dew-kissed grass with pale light. You’d dismissed the guards earlier with sharp words about needing fresh air, which was both a lie and a truth. Now, you’re standing in your nightgown, nocking another arrow onto your bowstring with shaking fingers. You’ve been here long enough that you could feel the painful creases in your hands from wielding the bow for so long. Out of frustration, perhaps. 

As you prepare your stance and aim, you let the arrow fly, but it runs wide and embeds itself into the outer ring of the target with a dull thud. 

You let out an irritated groan, already reaching for another arrow from your quiver. But as you prepare to fit the arrow onto your bowstring, a pair of heavy footsteps from behind makes you freeze for a moment, before your shoulders relax. Only one man moved with that quiet, confident stride.

“Princess.”

The deep voice sends a shivering thrill down your spine that has nothing to do with the chilly air.

When you finally turn around, that’s when you see him𑁋Sir Kim Mingyu emerging from the shadows, wearing a dark tunic and breeches instead of his usual armour, with his sword still strapped to his hip. His broad frame casts long shadows across the grass, dark hair slightly disheveled from the breeze, his eyes flickering between your trembling hands, to the poorly shot arrow, then back to your face. Even in the nightfall, you can see the concern etched in his perfectly sculpted features.

He has always been one of the most successful knights in the kingdom𑁋strong, loyal, and overwhelmingly skilled with both blade and blow. Ever since he had been assigned to protect you personally three years ago, he had always been in your shadow; although at some point in time, he started feeling less like a shadow and more like a presence you silently yearned for.

Mingyu pauses a few paces away from you.  

“You should not be here at this hour,” he says, though his tone is more sincere than scolding. “It is not safe. Even with the castle asleep, there are eyes everywhere.” 

You lower the bow in guilt, fingers aching from the string. “I am aware.”

“Would you like me to escort you back to your𑁋”

“No!” You cut in sharply, before wincing at your tone and softening it. “I… I cannot go back. Not at this moment.”

Mingyu studies you for a long minute, the moonlight catching the sharp line of his jaw almost makes him appear ethereal. He doesn’t move closer𑁋not yet𑁋but he doesn’t retreat either. He can sense the anger surrounding you, clearly expressed by the way you seem to be striking the target, not aiming. 

And from years of watching over you, he knows when not to put more pressure on a wound that’s been hurting from the inside. He knows this perhaps more better than anyone. 

But he also knows it’s not his duty to assist you in that way. His duty is to protect you physically and nothing more. Not to soothe whatever ache may be plaguing your heart, or cross that invisible line that’s stood tauntingly right in front of him for years, just like now. Emotion has never been part of the oath he took. 

Yet… he still takes a step forward, then another, and another, until he stops directly ahead of you. 

“Let me assist you then,” Mingyu assures softly.

You scoff at that, rolling your eyes. “You are not on duty.”

His lips curve up into a faint, almost bittersweet smile. “When have I ever been off-duty where you are concerned, princess?” 

That sends a lump to form in your throat and your heart thundering against your ribs. You almost want to push him away and order him to leave you alone, but his presence alone in front of you wraps around you like a comforting hug that you’ve always longed for. It’s almost enough to stop the restlessness coursing through your veins, if only for a single moment.

You hand him the bow and quiver. He takes it without hesitation, his large, calloused hand brushing over yours and sending warmth racing up your arm. Then he places himself directly behind you, close enough you can feel the heating radiating from his broad chest even through his tunic. 

“Show me your stance,” he orders. 

Biting at your bottom lip, you spin on your heel to face the target, bringing your arms up and positioning them as if you’re wielding an invisible bow. 

Mingyu’s eyes slowly trace over you𑁋over the line of your shoulder and the delicate curve of your spine beneath your nightgown. For a split second, his breath catches and his jaw clenches. He forces himself to focus back on your posture instead of allowing it to run lower. Gods, it feels debauched to think of you in that way. 

He steps closer until his chest is nearly flushed with your back, the warmth of his body chasing away the chill of the night. 

“May I, my lady?” he asks, letting his hands hover over your waist.

My lady. You’ve been referred by that term many times𑁋from the maids, servants, and the townspeople whenever you visited the villages. But it strikes you like an arrow whenever it comes out of his mouth. 

You swallow hard. “Yes.”

The second Mingyu’s hands settle on your waist, a spark races through your body. His large palms span over the thin silk of your nightgown. He smells faintly of earthy cedarwood, a scent you’ve come to associate with safety and comfort whenever he draws close to you. The roughness of his calloused skin drags across yours as he gently adjusts your posture, guiding your hips into a more steady alignment. 

You sense him step away briefly before caging his arms around you once more, his hands enveloping yours as he brings the bow back into your grasp. It feels more steadier in your hold with his strength supporting you, though you’re certain he can hear the way your pulse is racing against the wall of his chest.

His fingers press lightly over yours as he helps you fit the arrow into place, his thumbs innocently grazing the back of your hand. 

“Easy now,” Mingyu murmurs lowly, his voice devastatingly close to your ear. “You are trembling like a leaf in my arms, princess.”

Your breath catches. “I am not.”

“You are.” 

“The night is cold, that is why.”

“Then I shall keep Your Highness warm, yes?” Mingyu quips amusedly, chuckling lightly at the small pout that crosses your face when he peers down at you with that familiar soft charm. The sound vibrates against your back. You hate how easily he’s able to unravel you. “Now, breathe in with me, princess.”

You do𑁋you try to, at least𑁋drawing back a singular breath in rhythm with him. Your eyes falter to a fleeting close as you bask in his warmth and presence. Mingyu then guides both of your grasps together in pulling back the string of the bow.

“That’s it, good girl,” he mutters softly, the praise landing in that deep timbre before you have time to brace it; it almost makes you break your stance. “Focus.”

Mingyu notices it as well, a quiet yet sharp inhale leaving him and ghosting over the sensitive caress of your neck. He presses his body more against you, his large arms wrapping more securely, almost possessively, around you. How can you possibly focus when he’s tangled around you like this? 

Together, you slowly pull the bowstring taut. The world suddenly narrows to the whisper of his voice and the strength of his arms caging you in. 

“Release,” he commands. 

The arrow flies. 

And hits the centre of the clay target with a satisfying swipe. 

What possesses you in the next moment is beyond proper, maybe even beyond reckless. A wide grin splits your face in half, and before you can even process it, you’re turning around and enveloping your arms around Mingyu without a second thought. The bow and quiver clatters forgotten to the ground. 

You end up shifting your weight on him a little too eagerly from the buzz of excitement coursing through your limbs. Mingyu tries to steady you, but𑁋even in his tall and strong form𑁋it throws him helplessly off balance at the same time. He twists instinctively around you, hugging an arm around your waist while the other braces against the grass. 

The two of you end up falling in a heap on the ground, a startled yelp escaping your lips when the world tilts all too suddenly. But Mingyu absorbs most of the impact himself while shielding you from the worst of it. 

The air leaves his lungs in a soft grunt. 

It takes you an entire minute to realise what just happened. Now you find your fingers curled into the fabric of his tunic, with your nightgown pooled over his thighs. Mingyu lies directly beneath you, his dark hair fanned across the ground, staring up at you with equally surprised eyes that quickly soften into something… fond. You swear that you feel all the anxious thoughts that had been consuming your mind as of late disappear just from the comfort of his presence alone. 

You can’t help but gaze down at him for a long moment, taking in the way the moonlight paints his features in a silver glow, how it highlights his nose to the point you’re able to detect the small mole on the tip of it. When the corners of his mouth begin to lift up, that’s when you push yourself off him.

“I𑁋my apologies,” You sputter out of panic as you roll off of him, your face burning with embarrassment. “I did not mean to𑁋I just got excited because we𑁋Gods above, I cannot believe I practically tackled you.”

A deep chuckle rumbles out of Mingyu’s chest. He turns on his side instead of getting up, propping his head up on one hand. “You have nothing to apologise for, princess.”

You shake your head, brushing away some dirt clinging to the ends of your nightgown. “It was very much undignified.”

Mingyu’s grin only widens. “Undignified?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve survived worse battles, my lady,” he retorts playfully. “Trust me. If I can handle a sword tournament, then I am certain I can handle being attacked by an overzealous princess.” 

You blink down at him, processing his ridiculous words, when a laugh tumbles out of you before you could stop it. A real laugh. Not one of those polished ones out of courtesy that you were taught during etiquette lessons𑁋it’s the kind of laugh that causes your nose to wrinkle and your shoulders to uncontrollably shake off whatever decorum you have left. 

You don’t even notice the enchanted expression on Mingyu’s face until reality sinks back in again and the silence returns. A distant owl from somewhere calls beyond the stables. You feel your throat tighten. 

“I… I must return back to my chambers,” You say as you stand up, smoothing down the creases in your nightgown. “I do not want to be scolded about my rebellious behaviour again, neither do I want the maids to be reprimanded.”

Mingyu watches you with a thoughtful expression, the moonlight threading through his lashes. He’s always secretly adored the rebellious side of you𑁋perhaps it gave him a sliver of hope at times. Then with a reluctant exhale, he rises up from the ground, retrieves your fallen bow and quiver, and falls into step behind you like a shadow. 

“As you wish, princess,” he states, returning back to his composed demeanour. “I shall escort you back to your chambers safely.”

You think you’ve tried on over fifty dresses at this point.

Maybe even more, to be honest. You had been standing so long that the sun had almost shifted across the entire sky. Your limbs ache from being continuously prodded at by the seamstresses and your spine feels as if it’s going to crack with every gown that you try on, each one different than the last. There was crimson for passion and power, ivory for purity and virtue. 

The small comments the servants had been making throughout the session have left a permanent sour taste on your tongue. 

“The lower neckline ought to certainly entice Prince Moon of Wolhae…” 

“And the embroidery here on the train matches perfectly with Prince Lee of Seongguk…”

“Her Highness has lovely shoulders. They should be emphasised…”

You stare blankly at yourself in the full-length mirror that stood in front of you mockingly. Gods, you appear almost unrecognisable. Your lips are stained rose, your hair twisted into an elaborate hairstyle it feels as if your scalp is screaming for mercy, and this latest gown cinches your waist so tightly you’re basically buried in silk and feel almost lightheaded. 

Then, you find your eyes instinctively drifting to the figure stationed at the corner of the room.

Mingyu is standing motionless like a statue, yet you can sense that familiar commanding presence of his even when he isn’t doing anything. He’s wearing his silver knight armour, the polished plates gleaming underneath the natural rays of sunlight pouring into the room. His gaze seems to have travelled elsewhere in the room out of respect.

But for the briefest second, his eyes meet with yours in the mirror.

Your cheeks burn instantly.

“Your Highness?” a voice suddenly strips you out of your thoughts.

You blink at one of the seamstresses holding out a pair of necklace options to you, looking at you expectantly. 

“Would you prefer sapphire or emerald?” she asks. “In my opinion, I believe the emerald would compliment your skin beautifully… although sapphire would draw attention from Prince Kang of Wangbi. His house colours are blue, after all.” 

Her words stab you straight through the heart.

Your eyes dauntingly flicker between the two options. They’re both extravagantly beautiful, without a doubt meaning to mark you as available, desirable, ready for whichever prince offered the best fit for the kingdom, not for you. Only the kingdom. Love was perhaps an unattainable concept of fiction in the world you’ve been raised in since birth. 

The truth of it makes you bite the inside of your cheek hard. 

“Neither of them,” You deadpan quietly at first, before your voice raises more sharply, “I cannot bear anymore of this nonsense.”

The room freezes and collectively falls into a hushed silence. You see all the seamstresses exchange nervous glances with each other, all of them hesitating together. 

“But Your Highness, we must perfect any altercations for the𑁋”

“I do not care!” You snap back harshly, heat brimming in your eyelids. “I am exhausted from all the fittings and the expectations of the upcoming ball. So, please… leave me at peace. That is an order.”

For a moment, no one dares to speak, before the head seamstress bows deeply and begins to gather all the fabrics, pins, jewelry, and ribbons scattered around the room, not wanting to worsen the situation more than it already is. The other seamstresses follow in swift panic, and you watch them slip out of the door one at a time. 

Until you’re alone in the room.

Well, not entirely alone. 

Mingyu still remains. 

A trembling breath leaves you all at once. The slightest movement makes your knees wobble as you’re still wearing this awful gown. It feels too tight, too suffocating, and you want nothing more than to rip out every sewn pearl out of its wedge. 

You start with that by tearing off the pins in your hair and letting it clatter onto the floor. Strands of your hair finally tumble out of its confinement, making your scalp sigh in relief. Then you try to wipe the stain off your lips with the back of your hand, but it relents and only leaves a faint smear across your skin. 

Frustration boils even harder, and before you can stop yourself, you reach behind your back to tug viciously at the laces of the gown. 

“Traitorous dress,” You murmur under your breath self-depracatingly. “How dare they taint my body with their expectations…”

When your attempts to loosen the bodice comes to no avail, your shoulders sag to the floor in defeat. But as you lift your eyes back to the mirror, that’s when you spot Mingyu again. He’s shifted in your direction slightly, still rigidly standing in the corner in silence. You clench and unclench your fists at your side. 

“Sir Mingyu?” You call out to him.

Mingyu immediately shifts his attention to you. “You called, princess?”

“May…” You bite your lip shyly, glancing at him over your shoulder. “May you grant me some assistance?”

“Of course, my lady,” he responds solemnly, his eyes flitting down to where you’re weakly tugging at the strings of your gown. “Would you like for me to call in the maids?”

“I… no, I do not wish for the maids or anyone, for that matter.” You shake your head. “I… I am seeking your help.”

A stunned pause from him. “My help?”

“Yes,” You say, voice hammering in your chest as you spin on your heel to face him with an exhausted, pleading look. “Please… I feel as if I cannot breathe in this.”

Mingyu sucks in a sharp breath. He hesitates once again, conflict flickering in his dark brown eyes, before he inclines his head in a shallow bow. 

“As you command, princess.”

He crosses the room in three measured strides, the soft clink of his armour bouncing off the walls. You turn your back to him once more. In the mirror, you watch him approach you from behind. 

Mingyu slides his gauntlets off and sets them down on a nearby table before returning back to you. His nostrils flare visibly at the sight of your back offered to him, the beautiful line of your spine exposed willingly for him where the gown had already begun to slip. He’s standing way too close, close enough he can smell the lingering scent of jasmine on your skin.

“Sir Mingyu?” Your voice snaps him out of your thoughts.

He clears his throat soundly. “Yes?”

“Relieve me,” You croak out brokenly. “Please, I beg.” 

The soft plea strikes him in the chest like a blade. He mutters something under his breath that you can’t hear, despite the close proximity. With a shuddering inhale, his bare, trembling hands find their way to the laces, slowly beginning to pull them apart one by one. 

With each one loosened, you feel the suffocating weight of the dress slowly but surely dissipating away and giving you more room to breathe.

Mingyu keeps his eyes fixed on the laces𑁋tries to keep them fixed on the laces and nowhere else. His hands that are trained to wield swords and bows are surprisingly gentle with each one he undoes. Unbridled relief fills your ribs by the time he reaches the middle of your back, and you can’t help the little involuntary moan that leaves your mouth. 

His hands falter for a second from the sound. 

Gods above, help me.

The thoughts that swim around him are completely unbecoming of a knight. He has no right to notice how the silk of the gown parts beautifully like water, no right to think that if he leaned in a little more, he could brush his lips against the nape of your neck and breathe you in like a man begging to worship his lover. How it would be so easy for him to ruin his honour by ruining you instead. 

He would be gentle with you𑁋you are far too precious to be handled roughly. He would drop to his knees and worship you right there until the sun set and rose again if you requested, because the thought of some unworthy prince treating you like nothing but a prize at an auction angers him more than anything else. 

His armour suddenly feels too tight around his body. 

“Almost done, princess,” he mutters hoarsely. “Only a few more remain.” 

You nod nimbly at his words. You keep your eyes trained on the mirror as his hands continue the rest of their descent down your back, untying the rest of the lace. At one point, his knuckles accidentally graze the warm skin above your spine, causing you to flinch. Mingyu notices it right away. 

“My apologies,” he says and lets his hands hover above your skin, too afraid to continue. “I did not mean𑁋”

“It is alright,” You tell him. “I… I do not mind your touch.”

A muscle ticks in his jaw at that as he resumes the rest of the journey. By the time the last one is undone, he takes an immediate step back to give you more space to breathe, but the absence of his warmth hits you right away when the cool air caresses your skin. 

Slowly, you allow the gown to slip to the floor, leaving you in nothing but a thin and translucent chemise you had been wearing underneath. Mingyu redirects his eyes instinctively to give you whatever privacy he could𑁋always the honourable knight he is𑁋but his ears picks up the sounds of you shifting around the room for a few moments. 

You reach for a light robe draped on a nearby chair and slip it around your body, tying the sash around your waist. Then you turn back to Mingyu who is still facing away from you. A chuckle leaves you.

“You can look now, Sir Mingyu,” You assure him playfully.

Mingyu does not move right away. For a man who could read a battlefield like the lines on the back of his hand, he seems suddenly unsure how to interpret a simple room. But when he finally turns his head, he’s met with the sight of a faint smile across your face. 

You appear so vulnerable now. The gown from earlier had been extravagant, sure, but none could compare to this version of you standing in front of him𑁋the one who had stripped herself from all the frustrations the day placed on her. Gods above, Mingyu can stare at you all night and never tire if it means seeing you happy and comfortable in your own skin.

“You seem relieved,” he says, folding his arms over his chest.

A soft laugh escapes you. “That obvious?”

“Very much so,” Mingyu replies knowingly. “How are you faring?” 

A mixture of happiness and relief washes over your features simultaneously. You step up to the grand window and bask in the late afternoon sunlight spilling through the glass, letting out the deepest breath you never realised you’d been holding in this entire time. 

“Like I can breathe again,” You say, closing your eyes for a singular precious moment to allow the peace to wash over you. “Both physically and… metaphorically as well.”

Mingyu observes you for a few, long moments. Without hesitation, he steps up to the glass right beside you, his armour gleaming under the sunbeams. The window catches a perfect view of the rolling green hills up ahead and the royal gardens down below. 

The two of you stand in front of the window for a long while. Outside, the kingdom stretches out endlessly beneath the afternoon sky. The gardens bloom with a beautiful colour palette of serenity and rose quartz flowers and the rolling hills melt into distant mountain peaks that you’ve always dreamed of exploring if you ever got the chance to.

But you know you would never get that opportunity. You have always been confined to your duties as a princess since the very day you were brought into this world. The only world you’ve always known was within the walls of the castle and the expectations that came with it. 

As you were growing up, you’ve only ever yearned for something… more. Something real. Something where you can allow your heart to travel to wherever it desires without fear or consequence. To experience a love that wasn’t manufactured out of duty or arranged into existence. You’ve always wondered what real love feels like. 

You glance up at Mingyu ponderingly. 

“May I… ask you a question, Sir Mingyu?” You ask unsurely. 

Mingyu lifts a brow. “Of course, my lady.”

“Have you ever… courted a woman when you were younger?”

A flicker of surprise graces his features. He appears almost stunned to speak at first, his dark eyes widening slightly, before nostalgia softens his face. There’s a shadow of reluctance tucked behind his gaze as he ducks his head down briefly for a moment. Not to avoid, but to think.

“I… Yes, I have courted women back when I lived in the village, before knighthood,” he answers. “Most were fleeting though, and I have learned a lot from those experiences.”

You nod solemnly, trying to mentally prepare yourself for the next question you’re about to ask.

“Were you in love with any of them?”

Mingyu hums pensively. 

“There was one, yes. She was the baker’s daughter, while I was the blacksmith’s son,” Mingyu continues with a faint smile. “She always had the brightest laugh, and flour dusted her cheeks no matter how many times she wiped them.”

A knot in your stomach tightens from his words, the jealousy flashing through so irrationally. You hate how desperately you want to ask the name of who he speaks to fondly about; about whether or not she still occupies his heart to this day.

Mingyu notices the way you shift your feet uncomfortably.  

“But her father wanted her to marry another man, one with prospects and a bag full of coin.” He exhales slowly, letting his fingertips trace over the dust on the edge of the windowsill. “I had nothing to offer her, so… we parted ways ultimately. From what I hear, she is happily married with two children now.” 

That’s when you finally lift your eyes up at him, catching how the sunlight captures the warm brown of his eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” You mutter out quietly.

Mingyu just chuckles. “Do not be sorry, princess. It is all in the past.”

“Still,” You add in, shaking your head. “I have always thought of love as something… eternal. Lovers who stay together through thick and thin until the end of their days.”

Mingyu tilts his head curiously at you. “Has the topic of love been consuming your mind as of late, Your Highness?”

Heat rises through your cheeks at his question. For a heartbeat, you allow yourself to look at him. With Mingyu, you have always felt allowed to express yourself without the pretense of propriety. It’s always been easy with him, it seems. 

“Yes,” You confess bashfully. “It has.”

A heavy silence follows after your voice fades. A silence of contemplation and, oddly, comfort. You know if you speak such words to your parents or any other soul in the castle, they would look at you with nothing but disapproval and claim that your rebellious behaviour causes a negative look on the kingdom. 

Mingyu watches you carefully.

“Have you ever fallen in love, princess?” he asks simply.

The question steals the breath from your lungs. A simple question that requires a simple answer of yes or no. Yet… it is not so easy. 

You’ve read about love in the stories that fill the grand library’s walls. You’ve seen love in the way the palace gardeners tend to their blooms preciously through pricked fingers. You’ve heard about love when you overhear the stories told by the kitchen maids about the stable boys. Love has always surrounded you in every crevice in life, but it’s always felt so distant.

Until now. For the first time in your life, someone has asked you about your heart, not your duty. 

“I…” You hesitate, forcing your gaze back out the window. “I believe that I𑁋”

Before you could finish, a loud knock pounds at the door, startling you and Mingyu at the same time. Mingyu’s hand instinctively reaches out to his sword when a second more persistent knock arrives when the first one is left unanswered, already ready to shield you from any kind of danger. 

A muffled voice speaks through the wood, “Your Highness? The Queen requests your presence in the solar. She wishes to review the guest list for the upcoming ball.”

Dread slivers down your spine at the request. Your eyes flicker between the door and Mingyu𑁋when did he stand so close to you?𑁋who is already back to wearing that disciplined mask on his face, the warmth of his softened features that were there a minute ago now tucked away carefully. Yet his eyes… they still seem to betray him. 

The sight makes your heart stutter painfully in your chest. 

“Tell Mother I shall be there shortly,” You call back to the door. 

When you hear the servant’s footsteps fade away down the corridor, you release a shaky breath, grabbing the ends of your delicate robe and drawing it over yourself to hide how your chest is rising and falling erratically. You don’t catch the way Mingyu’s fingers tighten at his side, fighting the urge to reach out to you even if you are just an arm’s length away. 

“I do not want to go,” You admit unsteadily.

“I know,” Mingyu murmurs back. “But you must.”

You peer up at him with guilty eyes.

“I… I apologise for my question earlier,” You say weakly, bowing your head down apologetically even if you have more authority than him. “I did not mean to intrude on your past.”

Mingyu’s facade cracks at your words. He shakes his head. 

“You could never intrude, princess.” He hesitates momentarily, before adding on, “You may ask me anything and I will always answer truthfully. I… I feel honoured that you trust me with such vulnerable questions.”

Your heart squeezes as a grateful smile of your own graces your lips. 

You nudge him playfully with your shoulder. “May you escort me to the solar, Sir Mingyu?” 

Mingyu lets out a quiet sound that almost sounds like a laugh and offers his armoured arm for you to hold. He doesn’t bring up that you still have yet to answer his question from before. You’re the princess at the end of the day𑁋you don’t owe him an answer as much as he owes you one. 

“It would be my honour, my lady.”

Mingyu know it’s his duty to stand here𑁋to watch over the ball and ensure the safety of the guests, and especially you𑁋but he swears that he cannot breathe in his armour with every man that stands way too close to you. With every lowly prince that settles a hand on your hip, whispering sultry words in your ears that will attempt to sway you in their direction. 

No matter how far he stands away from you, he can still spot how visibly uncomfortable you are. He catches the stiffness in your shoulders, the polite smile on your face that never quite reached your beautiful eyes, and the brief, desperate glances you stole in his direction when no one else was looking.

Say the word, princess… and I’ll end this for you, he thinks. 

A low, bitter sound escapes his throat. He should not have the right to feel this jealousy when you’re only fulfilling your duties. He knows where your heart stands when it comes to the arranged marriages you’ve grown to despise. 

The only question is… if your heart did not lie with any of the princes, then where did it lie?

“Your Highness, it is an honour to share this dance with you,” Prince Moon of Wolhae whispers in your ear with a coy smirk. His hand is pressed firmly into the small of your back, pulling you closer than necessary as he leads you in a slow dance while the orchestra plays an intimate melody in the background. 

You force a courteous smile, even if every thought in your mind is begging you to pull away. Prince Moon stands too close to you, close enough his breath is too warm on your skin and his compliments come off intentionally calculated. You’ve already shared a dance with two other princes before him, and the activity of the day has begun to take its toll on you.

There was Prince Lee of Seongguk from earlier, who you swear had hands that trembled more than yours, but he was friendlier than the others. While Prince Kang of Wangbi spoke mostly more about his future heirs and himself than asking about you. And then there was Prince Moon, whose comments became more crude and entitled by the minute. 

“You dance beautifully as well,” he continues, lips brushing the shell of your ear. “Together, we could build something unstoppable, should I say. Your kingdom’s ports… my army… and you in my bed every night, hm?”

You swallow down the bile rising in your throat, a grimace forming at your painted lips. “You are very forward, Prince Moon.”

He merely chuckles, seemingly dismissing your discomfort. “Because I know what I want, princess. And what I want is you.” 

Although Mingyu can’t hear your conversations, his blood boils and his fists clench so tightly it makes his gloves creak regardless. Get your filthy hands off her, bastard. You do not own her. 

Prince Moon keeps mumbling sweet poisons to you as the dance continues and the music begins to swell. The large chandelier hanging from the high ceilings casts shards of glittering gold on the floor, shimmering off your dainty circlet crown and the elegant jewelry that decorate your body.

“I admire your ambitions, Prince Moon.”

“Ambition is what wins kingdoms, my lady,” the man retorts easily, spinning you around with practiced ease. His eyes rake over your neckline as he dips you briefly, before bringing you back up with him face-to-face. His hand drops lower on your back. “Tell me, princess𑁋how do you prefer your maidenhood to be claimed? Sweet and gentle or… rough and delicious? I bet you have imagined it, yes?” 

Your stomach churns with disgust at his inquiry, but a traitorous flush creeps up your neck like a snake. Yes, you can’t deny that you have thought of it before, more often than a princess should, but never with a man with greedy hands, cold ambition, and who speaks to you as if you were some common tavern wench in front of the entire Royal Court.

You’ve imagined it with someone else entirely. A man with hands that are not plagued with conquest and rings of greed. But a man with hands as gentle as a feather on your skin. A man whose touch makes you feel wanted rather than hunted, who makes your heart ache out of longing and not out of fear. 

A man that you love. 

When Prince Moon spins you around again, your gaze frantically searches through the vast ballroom for Mingyu. You desperately try to decipher through all the smiling faces of the guests and nobles, through the goblets of wine being passed around, through the sea of glittering jewels and shiny silk.

Until they finally find him.

Mingyu is staring at you𑁋has been staring at you this entire time𑁋standing frozen in the corner with his dark eyes icy cold, unreadable, and almost… sad. Because a knight is not allowed to interfere with royal courtship or diplomacy. A knight is certainly forbidden from challenging a crowned prince over a woman who can never belong to him. 

But consequences be damned. He made a promise to the oath he took three years ago: to protect you for the rest of his life. If he receives punishment for fulfilling his oath, then he would gladly trade his knighthood to keep you safe from these perverted vultures. 

A smirk spreads across Prince Moon’s face when he notices the flush on your cheeks. 

“The idea certainly appeals to you, doesn’t it, princess?” he continues to pry.

Gods, you want to slap this man senseless across the face. 

“I believe you are forgetting yourself, Prince Moon,” You claim through gritted teeth. “I am not some conquest of yours to be spoken of so vulgarly.” 

Prince Moon’s nostrils flare in amusement. “Why are you pretending you do not crave the same things every woman does, princess?” 

For a spell, you simply stare at him. Then, you pull your hand away from his shoulder. The movement seems to break the rhythm of the dance instantly.

“I do,” You answer quietly.

The man’s smile widens.

“But not with a man who mistakes vulgarity for charm.”

His smile falters.

Around you, the orchestra continues to play, the sounds of the violins soaring to their crescendo as other couples drift across the polished dance floor, blissfully unaware that one dance has come to a standstill. 

You lift your chin to look at him, a cunning look to your face.

“You speak of kingdoms and armies as trophies, and of women as though they are no different.” Your gaze drops to the hand still resting on your lower back, and you reach down to pry it away as if it’s a leech. “I have met merchants at the market with more grace than you, Prince Moon.”

Irritation flashes across his face. “You wound me, princess. You would reject an alliance between our kingdoms over a few words?”

“I would reject any man who believes his merit is the gold upon his brow,” You deadpan sharply. “Or any man who believes a crown excuses the absence of decency.”

Several nobles glance curiously in your direction, but you don’t let their eyes tug at your determination.

“You may find that beggars cannot be choosers, Your Highness,” Prince Moon remarks stiffly, eyes narrowing down at you. 

You scoff lightly at that, rolling your eyes to his indifference. When the crescendo of the orchestra fades away, that’s when you take your chances to fully separate from him. With a cold smile and a searing glare, you rip his touch fully away from your skin, and it feels as if you can breathe out a long breath at last. 

After that, you offer Prince Moon a shallow curtsey𑁋more out of simple etiquette than respect𑁋as the violins fade into an awkward silence until there’s only the sounds of your thundering heart and the murmurs rippling through the surrounding nobles. 

“Thank you for your time, Prince Moon,” You begin evenly, smoothing down the fabric of your dress as if they had been stained. “I appreciate your… candor. It highlights your character vibrantly. I wish you a pleasant evening and safe travels on your return to Wolhae.”

Prince Moon’s jaw tightens. Your eyes sparkle victoriously under the chandelier. 

“A pity,” the man chides in disbelief. “I had hoped that the stories of your grace were true. You do recall that your parents invited me here for a reason, is that not right, princess?”

You hold his gaze with a steely look.

“You are correct,” You answer. “But I am disappointed that a prince does not know the difference between an invitation and a promise.” 

Your words land hard enough for a hushed silence to fall across the room. Prince Moon has the audacity to open his damned mouth to argue, but it falls back to a quick close when he realises that everyone is watching this happen right before their eyes. Everyone is witnessing royalty reject another in the middle of the grand ballroom. Your hands at your side start to tremble, but you hide them carefully within the folds of your dress. 

Gods, you definitely know that your parents are likely going to place your head atop a spike in the morning for this. You can already hear in your head the lecture that awaits you after sunrise. But the strength you’ve been holding on for the past weeks all crumbled the second you shared a dance with the first prince. 

The adrenaline and anger that had been keeping your spine straight is now entirely drained from your body. Before your knees could buckle, a warm yet commanding presence appears by your side instantly. 

“Prince Moon,” a voice deadpans𑁋Mingyu’s voice. He bows his head low enough to satisfy simple etiquette. “Her Highness has made her wishes clear.”

Prince Moon flits his eyes to him, dragging a condescending look up and down his stance.

“And who are you to involve yourself in royal affairs?”

“Sir Kim Mingyu of the Royal Guard.”

“So you are a servant, then?”

“I am whomever the royals of this kingdom prescribe me to be,” Mingyu states without flinching. “In this case, I serve the princess of this nation, who has clearly expressed her displeasure.”  

The tension between the two of men only thickens that even seems the ballroom itself is holding its breath. Prince Moon’s face contorts with humiliated rage. For a second, you think he might consider snapping back again, but Mingyu shifts imperceptibly closer to you, his gauntleted hand hovering near your lower back.

The prince’s eyes flicker calculatingly between the two of you. Whatever he sees in Mingyu’s dead stare makes him think better of it. 

He offers a stiff, quite literally mocking bow to you. 

“Very well,” Prince Moon spits out. “Until we meet again, princess.” 

You watch as the man stalks his way back into the crowd. Murmurs ripple throughout the ballroom𑁋most appear to be siding with the prince, because of course𑁋but you don’t let it get to you, can’t let it show that it’s getting to you. 

“Your Highness.”

When you look back up at Mingyu, everything else seems to fade. Worry and the tiniest hint of anger𑁋not at you, but for you𑁋crosses his face when he catches you the hazy exhaustion on your features. 

“Shall I escort you somewhere quieter, my lady?”  he asks quietly so only you can hear, already offering his arm to you. 

You nod, slipping your hand into the crook of his arm. You keep your gaze to the floor as he escorts you through the crowd of guests, who part like water for you and Mingyu, their scandalised eyes following every step.

“Did you see how she dismissed Prince Moon?”

“Bold… or foolish.”

“The King and Queen will not be pleased with this, certainly.”

You clench your jaw, trying to fight off the burn threatening to rise in your cheeks from their remarks. Mingyu doesn’t say anything yet, but the protective way he keeps you close to him is louder than any of their words. 

He leads out the grand side doors, down the torchlit corridor where you walk past the watchful eyes of your painted ancestors on the walls. The farther you travel away from the ballroom, the fainter the music becomes, and the more you feel like you can breathe again. 

Mingyu shuts the door behind you when you enter the grand library. The entire room had been cleared because of the ball taking place. Towering shelves of books stretch out endlessly before you, the smell of old ink and parchment lingering through the air. You always come here whenever you wanted to escape𑁋you forget at times that it’s still part of the palace. A quieter and vulnerable part of your world.

The books you’ve read here never judged you. 

Your shoulders drop to the floor before you realise how long you’ve been holding them up.

“I think I may have ruined everything,” You admit quietly after a long while of silence. “I feel as if I may have jeopardised my title, my status, and yet… I do not feel sad about it, but𑁋”

“𑁋relieved?”

You blink back at Mingyu in surprise. 

“Yes,” You finish. “Relieved, strangely.”

Mingyu tilts his head skeptically. He steps up into the space right next to you, where your eyes are roaming over the books on the walls.

“If it makes you feel any better,” he begins, clearing his throat soundly. “I believe that you were the most radiant one up there.” 

A choked laugh bubbles out of you despite everything. “Even if I humiliated myself in front of the entire court?”

“Especially then, princess.”

“You are just saying that to make me feel better, you liar,” You accuse teasingly. 

“Lying would be against my oath,” he remarks, the corners of his mouth twitching up in amusement. “I have been nothing but truthful during our times together, my lady.”

The banter has always been easy between the two of you, you realise. The burdens and scrutiny waiting on the other side of the door feel less frightening to face when you know Mingyu is right by your side. You know that at any moment, this temporary peace could be ruined and you’d be exiled back to your duties𑁋or worse, exiled from the kingdom because of the scrutiny. 

Mingyu’s eyes roam over the quiet reflection on your face, and he feels his heart ache in his chest. 

“Come here, princess.”

You lift a puzzled brow. “What𑁋”

Before you can finish, he’s wrapping his armoured arm your waist and drawing you into his hold. The cool metal of his gauntlet presses gently on your lower back, and before you know it, you find yourself swaying together in the middle of the dead-silent library.

“No music,” he points out with a fond smile. “Just us.”

There’s no grand chandelier above your heads, no judging nobles or entitled princes. There’s only the soft glow of lanterns, moonlight filtering in through tall windows, and Mingyu’s presence wrapped around you. It feels more intimate than anything else. 

“You are terrible at this,” You say playfully, even while resting your cheek on his breastplate. “The armour makes you clunky.”

A huff of amusement leaves him. “Forgive me. I am a knight, not a dancer.” 

“It is alright,” You reassure him calmly. “Follow my lead.”

He does𑁋well, he tries to𑁋and there’s something so endearing seeing a man so formidable fumble a little when attempting to move with you. But after a few more turns, his movements become surprisingly graceful when he allows himself to stop overthinking about it. 

You lead him in slow, sweeping circles across the grand library, your shared giggles ringing out into the room when his armour accidentally clips one of the shelves a little too harshly. At one point, he spins you smoothly and dips you down, one arm secured at your waist while the other supports your back. Your circlet glints under the moonlight as your head tilts back.

He holds you there for a heartbeat longer than necessary, gazing down at you with such open adoration that you almost forget that no one else is watching you now. But when he pulls you back upright again, your faces are only a breath away from each other. Your breaths hitch at the same time from the closeness.

The world suddenly narrows. His scent fills all of your senses, and the way his dark eyes drop down to your lips doesn’t go unnoticed by you, as if it was only ever meant for you. 

You rise on your toes instinctively, drawn to him like a moth to a flame. If you lean in a fraction closer, your mouths would meet in a soft yet long overdue𑁋

The heavy doors of the library slam open with a force enough to make the surrounding bookshelves tremble. Mingyu reacts faster than thought, spinning you around so that his body is a protective wall between you and the intruders. His hand flies down to the handle of his sword even as recognition hits him. 

Three elite guards step into the room with their expressions hardened. The captain strides forward, eyes narrowing between the two of you.

“By royal decree of the King and Queen,” he announces authoritatively. “Her Highness is to return to her chambers at once.”

Mingyu’s face turns molten. “She is under my protec𑁋”

“Stand down, knight. Consider this a warning for your actions tonight,” the captain spits back harshly. “There will be far worse consequences than a reprimand if you overstep your duties.”

Mingyu’s body visibly tenses, but he offers a stiff, obedient bow of his head. “Understood, Captain.”

The captain nods curtly, then gestures to his men. The two other guards step forward and take hold of your arms, already urging you to the door. 

“Mingyu𑁋” Your voice cracks as you twist your head back to look at him.

He takes one unconscious step forward, his hand twitching at his sword, but the captain’s warning glares stop him cold. 

The heavy doors slam shut behind you, cutting him off from view. The corridor feels colder without him. 

Your chambers is quiet, almost too quiet.

The heavy velvet curtains had been drawn tight that not even moonlight can spill inside to grant you peace, and only a few candles flickered on your bedside table, casting long, almost taunting shadows across the cold stone walls of your bedroom. You find yourself sitting on the edge of your bed in your nightgown, with your knees up to your chest and your arms wrapped loosely around them.

No matter what, sleep refuses to come. After the ball had ended, you were banished immediately to your chambers by your mother’s icy command, her parting voice still ringing in your ears about how you had embarrassed the entire kingdom in one single night. 

Yet it’s not your mother’s voice that disturbs your sleep, not entirely at least. Rather it’s Prince Moon’s vile words. His words about your title, your autonomy, your maidenhood. You know that you shouldn’t allow his words to affect you as much as it does, but your mind can’t help but wander. All your life, your maidenhood has been treated like nothing but a transaction. A part of you that you always owed for alliances and bloodlines, not out of love. Never has anyone asked what you wanted. 

Your thighs press together underneath your nightgown, a restless kind of heat blooming low in your stomach. For years, you resigned yourself to this untimely fate; but tonight, after rejecting all the princes so publicly, you decide that this is the night where you would finally choose yourself. 

Anxiety throbs beneath your ribs as you rise from the bed and cross the room with bare feet. You pause right before the heavy oak door, fingers hovering over the latch. This is lunacy that you’re about to commit, but the fire in your veins refuses to be quelled by reason tonight. Opening the latch, you crack the door open enough to catch one of the maids passing by in the corridor.

“Hyejin!” You whisper-yell into the dark hallway.

The girl startles from your voice, her lantern swinging around when she turns to the sound. She glances both ways before rushing to your side with a silent bow. She has always been loyal and discreet, and knew better than to question odd requests at odd hours.

“Yes, Your Highness?” she asks hushedly.

“Find Sir Mingyu at once,” You instruct her urgently. “Tell him that I require his immediate presence. And do not notify a soul, please.”

Hyejin’s eyes widen fractionally, but she merely nods. “Of course, my lady. I shall return with him swiftly.” She spins on her heel and vanishes into the shadows of the hallway like a ghost. 

You shut the door and lean back against it, pressing a hand to your racing heart. The minute that drag feels like an eternity. Your legs pace around the room in anticipation, straighten your already-flawless blush-colour coverlet on your bed, adjust the candles, then you sit again only to stand once more.

Doubts swarm your head like storm clouds. What if he refuses? What if we are discovered? What if I am𑁋what if we are both𑁋ruined forever? But beneath all your worries burned a defiant need. You wanted this. You wanted him.

When three measured knocks land at your door minutes later, your breath catches in your throat. Pursing your lips tightly, you approach the door and unlatch it carefully. The door creeps open slowly, before a pair of heavy footsteps slips inside. 

The world suddenly fades into complete silence when Mingyu closes to the door behind him with a soft click and slides the bolt into place. He’s still in his ceremonial armour from the ball, the intricately engraved steel shimmering like stars under the candlelight and the red cape behind him flowing down to the floor like a waterfall. 

Mingyu’s ready eyes sweeps across your chambers naturally as he strides in your direction𑁋from the high curtains that drape down to the ground, to your heavy wardrobe, to even beneath your four poster bed𑁋to spot any kind of danger that might be lurking. It’s only when he finds nothing does he allow his gaze to settle back on you.

“Princess,” he calls worriedly, catching the distraught expression on your tired features. “What is the matter? Are you hurt?”

You shake your head diffidently. 

“No.”

“Did Her Majesty𑁋”

“No.”

Mingyu falls silent.

“Then why have you summoned me at this hour, my lady?” he asks, more softer this time. 

You hesitate, fingertips digging carelessly into the thin fabric of your nightgown. The words you rehearsed in your head suddenly feel too bold and dangerous.

This is it. There is no going back now.

“I… I want you to teach me,” You admit shakily. 

Mingyu blinks, arching up a thick brow. “Teach you?”

“About… pleasure.” 

The colour drains from his face almost instantly, before a deep flush creeps up his neck that you see hidden in the shadows of his gorget. He takes an instinctive step back, the metal of his greaves scraping against the floor. 

“I-I beg your pardon, princess?” he coughs out flusteredly, his voice coming out rougher than expected. 

The weight of your words hit you, but you refuse to let your courage crack anymore. You step up toward him until the tips of your feet barely graze his boots, closing the distance he tries to create. Even through his breastplate, you feel the heat radiating off him. It helps to ease your nerves only slightly.

“I want you to teach me…” You begin nervously. “...how to have sex.” 

Mingyu’s breath hitches audibly, his composed mask shattering entirely. His gaze turns dark as he fights the battle raging in his head right now: honour clashing with desire, duty against the tug of his heart. A shiver runs through his tall frame. He attempts to force his attention elsewhere, pretending this was nothing but his imagination, yet your request has permanently imprinted itself in his mind and… and he cannot deny that this is reality. 

Gods, the thought alone has him aching already. 

“Princess, I𑁋do you understand what you are asking me right now?” A pensive look washes over his face. “I am your sworn knight. You cannot… say such things to me. If anyone were to find out, we would both be punished before our next breath.” 

But even as those words leave his mouth, he betrays himself regardless. His hands flex at his sides, fighting the urge to reach out to you. 

You reach up to brush a path over his chest, and he sighs in restraint as if your hand burns him. 

“You are my sworn knight, Sir Mingyu,” You repeat, guiding your hand up until it rests on his warm chin. “The only man I trust the most in this world. With my life, with my heart, and now… my body.” A sharp heat prickles beneath your eyelids. “I do not care about the risks because I choose you. I always have. So I… I beg of you to show me what it is like to sully my virtue. Please.” 

Nothing but desire flashes through his thoughts. Mingyu rests his armoured hand over yours that’s on his chest and leans down to rest his forehead on yours. You both breathe each other in for a moment, his warmth breath grazing upon your lips.

That is, until he sinks to his knees, peering up at you with nothing but unyielding devotion, with your hand still in his. The position alone makes heat flood into your core𑁋seeing your powerful knight on his knees before you. 

“I am yours to command tonight, my princess,” he says, pressing a vowing kiss to each knuckle on your hand which sends sparks up your spine. “And I will show you what it is like to be worshipped so sweetly… that you forget every cage duty has tried to force on you.” 

Before you can speak, Mingyu flips your hand over to trace his lips over the pulse point at your wrist, never breaking eye contact with you. Slowly, he trails higher to kiss along the sensitive skin of your forearm, to the crook of your elbow, and one at your shoulder. Then he rises back to his feet, cups your cheek with a gauntleted hand, and begins to lean in. 

Your eyes squeeze shut naturally, your body bracing for the first real kiss. But Mingyu teasingly pauses just short of your mouth, a smile forming at his lips as he relishes the sight of your features up close for the first time. 

He mutters something along the lines of beautiful before claiming your lips. 

Mingyu kisses you slowly at first, learning the shape of your mouth, then it grows needier as you part your lips for him. His tongue brushes against yours tentatively, never demanding more unless he knows you want it. Your fingers curl desperately on the edges of his armour while the world tilts around the two of you. 

“I have yearned for the taste of your lips for years, my lady,” he whispers against your mouth, gripping your waist a little tighter. “To have you now is truly… a privilege I will never take for granted.” 

He begins to shed his armour with his mouth never leaving yours once, stripping his gauntlets and the heavy pauldrons on his shoulders until they fall uselessly to the floor. Piece by piece, the barriers between your bodies disappear𑁋the breastplate, the vanbraces around his forearms, the gorget on his neck𑁋leaving him in only his linen undershirt and breeches. 

Your impatient hands roam underneath his shirt, caressing over the strong planes of his chest. Mingyu chuckles at your eagerness and pulls off his shirt entirely, letting it join the pile of steel on the floor. You pull away from him to just admire in awe. 

Moonlight may have been kinder to the sight of him, but the candlelight illuminates him even more. His broad shoulders hold strength and the faint scars across his defined chest and abdomen make him appear more real. More yours. 

You trace over the line of an old battle scar beneath his collarbone. His body tenses from your touch.

“You are staring, princess,” Mingyu murmurs amusedly, though his cheeks are flushed. He strokes your lower lip with a fingertip. “Do I please you?”

“More than I can say,” You say with a soft smile. “My knight is… quite ravishing to the eyes.”

A boyish grin tugs at his mouth. He nuzzles his face into your neck. 

“Ravishing, am I?” he muses playfully, lips brushing against the skin there. “Then I suppose I must live up to my title, my love.” 

Without a second thought, he lifts you up into his arms as if you weigh nothing. A surprised giggle escapes you before it is swallowed down by another deep kiss. He carries you a few steps toward your grand bed. The velvet coverlet feels cool against your back when he lays you down carefully, his large body hovering over yours. 

His hands slip under your nightgown and chemise, his calloused hands caressing over your thighs. 

“May I take this off, princess?” he asks, dark eyes searching yours for any hesitation. 

“Yes,” You breathe out, clutching weakly at his shoulders.

Mingyu slowly draws the fabric upward. The cool air of the room kisses over the sensitive skin of your legs. You lift your hips up to help him, and he peels the gown over your waist, your breasts, and finally over your head. It flutters to the floor like a discarded flower petal, leaving you in only your thin chemise. The candlelight almost makes it appear translucent.

His fingers toy with the straps of your chemise, glancing back up at you for permission again. When you give him a small nod, his face softens with such tenderness it makes you far too shy to maintain eye contact as he peels the delicate lace down your body. Shivers run up and down your skin, not from the cold but from the weight of his stare. Like you’re the only star in the sky. 

His throat bobs visibly.

“Fuck, princess…” Mingyu curses, letting his hands glide up your sides before resting on the underside of your breasts. He caresses over one gently with his large palms, taking your nipple between his fingertips, causing you to let out a soft moan. “You are an art piece… crafted with perfection by the heavens themselves. Untouched by the world, but allowing her knight to ruin so sweetly.”

He leans down to capture your nipple in his mouth, sucking lightly while his free hand plays with the other. Your body arches needily against his, and the velvety heat of his tongue has you clenching around nothing. He continues his journey downwards, his mouth tracing a path of fire between the valley of your breasts and lower over your stomach, stopping when he reaches your mound. 

Mingyu spreads your legs a little wider, groaning when he notices how wet you already are. 

“Gods above, look at you.” He strokes soothingly along the inside of your thigh, settling between your legs more comfortably. “Your sweet little cunt is weeping for attention. May I taste you, my lady? This will be your first lesson in pleasure.”

You nod urgently, already digging your hands into the silk sheets of your bed.

With a grateful smile, Mingyu leans in and presses an open-mouth kiss to your folds. You jolt at the wet contact, but he grips your hips firmly to hold you in place. “Easy, sweet girl. Stay open for me. Let me devour this innocent pussy…”

He drags the flat of his warm tongue from your entrance and up to the little swollen bud at the top. 

“This pretty pearl right here is your clit.” He teasingly circles his tongue around the sensitive nub, before sealing it in his mouth with a loud suck that echoes off the walls of your chambers. “So sensitive… You taste like the sweetest, most forbidden nectar.”

You cry out a whimpered gasp when he sucks it more firmly, the pleasure striking you hard like lightning. Your hands find their way into his dark hair, burying him into you even more. Mingyu grunts at the sensation and doubles on his efforts, switching between gentle sucks and rapid flicks of his tongue on your pussy, keeping his eyes solely locked on the way your face twists with pleasure. 

When he pulls away for a breath, you look down and the sight nearly destroys you𑁋Mingyu, your loyal knight, between your legs with his lips glistening with your wetness. 

“May I… put a finger inside you, my lady?” he asks breathlessly, hot breath fanning against your slick folds. “Just one for now. Only if you want, princess.”

“Yes,” You sigh out, trembling with need. “I want it, please…”

Mingyu kisses your knee appreciatively and returns to your aching core. At the same time, he teases a thick finger at your entrance and coats it with your arousal, before gently pushing inside. Your body welcomes him instantly. 

The stretch is foreign to you, but he works it through you thoroughly. He curls his finger in an upward motion that has your walls fluttering around him. The simultaneous sensation of his tongue and fingers makes you grip his hair even tighter and your hips to grind against his face. 

“Mingyu, it feels so good…”

“Mmmh, good girl,” he praises sweetly, voice muffled against you. “Let me add a second one, yeah? To stretch you more open for me…” 

He works another thick finger alongside the first. The burn between your legs melts away the brief discomfort of the stretch into pure heat. His fingers thrust in and out of you at a steady rhythm as his mouth continues lapping at your pussy. Your loud, broken moans bounce off the walls of the chambers as the pleasure builds rapidly, your hips practically riding his face.

Mingyu growls when he feels your thighs start to tremble harshly around his head. 

“That’s it, my love,” he murmurs hotly against your dripping cunt. “Give me your pleasure, your first ever orgasm from a man who yearns for you…”

“Fuck, I𑁋Mingyu𑁋!”

Pleasure explodes through you like wildfire. A blissful cry of his name rips out of your throat, your back arching sharply off the bed as your walls clamp down tightly around his fingers. Your hips jerk against his face, riding the waves while he continues licking and sucking, drinking in every drop of your release. 

He slows when your moans turn into soft, overstimulated whimpers and your thighs fall open in exhaustion. With one final kiss to your swollen folds, he withdraws his fingers and hovers back above you. His heart squeezes with pride when looks down at your flushed, trembling body. 

“You are enchanting when you let go, my princess,” he says before kissing you deeply, and you taste yourself on his tongue. “I could spend the rest of my days between your legs and never tire.”

A subtle shift of his body has you feeling the heavy outline of his hardening cock through his breeches. Mingyu inhales sharply when you roll your hips against his once, his ears red with a mixture of embarrassment and arousal. 

“I… fuck𑁋we do not have to, sweetheart,” he mutters, though the way he’s involuntarily grinding on you says otherwise. “You have given me so much than I deserve tonight, and I would rather die than cause you pain.”

You cup his cheek tenderly, grazing over his cheekbone. A fresh wave of nerves and desire twists in your belly.

“I want to,” You whisper. “I ache for it, Mingyu. Please… make love to me.” 

Something in him shatters at that, as if his last thread of restraint snaps into two. His eyes fall shut for a moment, nostrils flaring at your plea. When they open, his eyes have darkened with hunger, and he leans in to capture your lips with a kiss so deep it knocks the air out of your lungs. His large body pins you deeper into the bed, the heat of his bare chest searing against your skin. 

Mingyu pulls away just long enough to shove his breeches down his thighs, kicking them away. Your eyes widen when his cock springs free𑁋thick and heavy, curled slightly with a glistening tip already leaking for you. It’s your first time ever seeing a man this undeniably aroused for you. He’s so beautiful and intimidating that you can’t help but just stare. 

He notices your wide-eyed expression and lets out a shy, self-conscious chuckle.

“Have I frightened you?” he questions worriedly.

You shake your head. “No… You’re… big. I did not expect…” The words die on your tongue, but hungry curiosity sparkles in your eyes. 

Tentatively, you reach down to touch his length, and his cock twitches harshly from your touch. He’s impossibly hard, the skin smooth and hot as you wrap your hand around him to stroke him experimentally from the base to the tip. A low, guttural groan rumbles from his chest. 

“Shit…” he moans out, his hips jerking into your touch before realising it. “You do not have to𑁋fuck, your hand feels like magic𑁋”

You watch in awe as another bead of precum leaps from the tip. Emboldened, you swipe your thumb over it, spreading it down his shaft. Mingyu’s head falls forward into your shoulder, his breaths coming out in hot pants. 

“Easy, my love,” he warns, catching your wrist and pinning it to the bed beside your head, your fingers lacing together. “If there is a next time, you may touch me as you please. But for now… I need to be inside you.”

Mingyu uses his other hand to guide his cock to your entrance, rubbing the flushed head along your soaked and sensitive folds. He doesn’t push inside just yet.

“Tell me again, princess,” he commands. “Tell me you want your knight to corrupt you.”

“I want you, please,” You plead longingly. “Make love to me. Fuck me. Claim me as yours.” 

That’s all it takes.

With a groan, he starts pushing inside. His cock is much thicker and hotter than his fingers were. You gasp from the intense stretch, your nails digging crescents into his biceps as your body struggles to take him. He pauses to give you time to adjust before burying himself even more until he’s fully inside of you, whispering soothing praises and peppering your face with kisses to distract you from the discomfort. 

“Gods above, I cannot believe… I am inside of you, my lady,” he mutters hoarsely. “So warm… so tight…”

When the burn eases away, you shift your hips into his and let out a small, needy whimper. That’s all the permission he needs. 

Mingyu thrusts into you with a slow pace, dragging his cock along your sensitive walls. This was a dream that plagued him every night𑁋a dream of finally having you to himself and not those wretched princes, loving you the way you deserve, ruining you for any other man, even if it’s only for a single night. A night that he will cherish to his very grave. 

His jaw clenches tightly as he tries to keep himself from losing control too fast, but it doesn’t help when your moans grace his ears like a symphony and the way your nails are raking red trails down his back spur him on even more. 

“Mingyu𑁋ah𑁋faster, please𑁋”

“Faster?” he repeats breathlessly. “As you command, my princess.”

Bracing his strong arms at your sides, he snaps his hips deeper, harder, into you. The bed creaks under the force of his movements, the wet, filthy sounds of your bodies shamelessly meeting reverberating throughout your chambers that you are sure someone can hear if they passed too close to the door, but the thought only sends a forbidden thrill through you. 

He swallows your moans with a devouring kiss as he continues to fuck you. One hand grips your thigh higher to hit that sensitive spot inside of you, and it sends that familiar pleasure to tighten in your stomach once again. 

You embrace your arms around his neck. “I’m close, Mingyu𑁋”

“Gods𑁋fuck, me too,” he says into your sweat-slicked skin, but his pace starts faltering. “But I have to… shit, I have to slow down, princess𑁋I cannot cum inside of you. I cannot ruin your future…”

Mingyu starts to pull back, but you feel the strain in him, the way his body is refusing to comply with how he slows his thrusts. But you don’t let him stray away; instead, you tighten your arms around like a vice, keeping every thick inch of you sheathed inside your cunt. 

“No, do not pull away,” You pant in his ears, fingers greedily threading into his damp hair. “I need you, Mingyu𑁋I do not care about the consequences. I choose this. I choose you. Fill me up, my loyal knight. I beg you…”

Something raw and possessive bursts out of him at your desperate pleas, his eyes flashing with overwhelming love and hunger. He curses lowly to himself, as if hoping the heavens won’t hear the sin he is about to commit, before driving back into you roughly, giving into everything he’s held back. 

“You will damn us both… and yet I cannot deny you ever,” he pants into your neck. “Your knight obeys… always. Take me, my love𑁋cum for me. Now.” 

Your second orgasm crashes into you harder than the first. Waves of ecstasy whiten your vision, your body arching off the bed as clench around his cock one final time. The feeling of your release sends Mingyu over the edge completely. He buries himself inside of you, filling you to the brim with thick ropes of his heat. He grinds slow and deep through both of your orgasms, pushing every drop as far in you as possible.

Mingyu doesn’t pull out of you yet for several long moments. He cages your trembling form in his arms as if he’s afraid the world might tear you apart if he lets go. He presses kisses along the column of your throat and up to your jaw, then to your swollen lips, lingering a little longer than usual. Only then does he draw away to peer down at you with glassy, vulnerable eyes. 

“I love you, my princess,” he confesses quietly. “I have loved you silently for years, since the first day I swore my oath to protect you. I have always adored your resilience, your beauty… among many other things.” 

Your blink sleepily up at him, your heart swelling at his words.

“I love you too, Sir Mingyu,” You whisper back, nestling your nose against his. “I always knew that my heart belonged to you, too.”

A soft, boyish smile crosses his lips, the kind that always made your stomach flutter during daylight hours when no one was watching. After some time, he coaxes himself out of you with a grunt, a generous trickle of his release coating your thighs and the sheets beneath you. His gaze darkens at the sight, but he does not push for more.

He rolls himself onto his back and wraps his arms around your middle, letting your head rest on his broad chest. One of his hands soothingly traces shapes on your spine while the other brushes through your disheveled hair. 

“Stay with me tonight,” You mutter into his skin. “Do not leave before dawn. I wish to wake up in your arms just once.”

“I will never abandon you, my love,” Mingyu assures you, tightening his hold on you. “But we must prepare ourselves for what the morning light will bring. If your parents find out𑁋”

“What if we run away together?”

Mingyu freezes at that. A shadow of conflict rises in his features, but there’s something else there too𑁋something dangerously close to hope.

“You cannot mean that, princess,” he tells you. “It is not so easy. You know that.”

“I do mean it,” You say back stubbornly. “I know I will never be forgiven for rejecting every prince at the ball. Gods, they will probably sell me off to the highest bidder by the end of the week. But I do not want a crown if it means being stuck in a loveless marriage. I want a life with you, Mingyu. A life where we can love freely and perhaps… build a family one day.”

He can imagine it so clearly: a life with the two of you in some hidden cottage in the mountains or a village by the sea, where he can wake up to your smile in the mornings and worship you into the depths of the night without fear or duty holding him back. A life with a little one𑁋or more, if you wish𑁋running around. A child who holds your tenacity and wields his softness. 

“You tempt me more than any devil, my love,” he proclaims, nuzzling his face into your hair. “But running away now without a plan would put you in greater danger. If we do this… we must be smart. Find allies and gather belongings. Perhaps… in a few months time, when the storm of tonight has settled.”

You pout lightly. “So we wait?”

“For now,” he says, kissing the tip of your nose. “But know this𑁋I am yours. If you wish to run, I will follow you to the ends of the earth and lay down everything for a chance at a life with you. I promise you that.”

The weight of his promise settles warmly in your chest more than the exhaustion crawling through your bones. You rise in his hold to kiss him deeply and unhurriedly, before allowing him to hold you.

“Rest now,” Mingyu orders softly when you part, tucking you into his side once more. “The world is still asleep. Let me hold you while I can. Tomorrow we face the wolves… but tonight, you are simply mine as I am yours, my angel.”

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for self shippers who use self shipping to cope. this includes the "ugly" feelings that you hide away from the world. the feelings you know that you were be shamed and ridiculed for having when you've been through so much. its okay. your personal world is for you to heal and no matter how ugly it is, how grim it may be, its for you to cope with it the best way you can. please, take care of yourself. don't beat yourself more than you already have. you're okay and you're doing the best that you can with what you have.