にくきゅう

it’s time to trace~!

heads up. the charts in the middle are very rough guides. everything about copying is super grey, you need to use your own judgement…also I have more notes

I will now impart all of my profit killing resources onto you, in case you don’t know them. I think most of you know them, now. But just in case you don’t.

THIS IS US-CENTRIC. I’M SORRY. 

1. GoodRx - this thing has an app now, so you can look up the best places to get your expensive medicines at the lowest possible prices without insurance on the go, and you no longer have to print coupons because you can just hand over your phone or tablet. Times have changed for the better with GoodRx. Definitely use it before trying to fill your scrip, because it will tell you the best place to go. (You can do that on the website, too.)

2. NeedyMeds - Needymeds is basically the clearinghouse of drug payment assistance. They have their own discount cards, but also connections to many patient assistance programs run by drug companies themselves. They are good assistance programs, too.

3. Ask your county - This is not a link. This is a pro tip. Most county social services will have pharmacy discount programs for people with no and/or shitty pharmaceutical coverage. You can often just find them hanging around at social services offices; you can just pick one up and walk off with it. 

4. Ordering online - There are a few safe online pharmacies. I keep a little database in a text file on my computer. Most of them are courtesy of CFS forums, my mother or voidbat, so a lot of that is a hat tip to other people, but if you’re in need of a place to get a drug without a prescription … first I’ll make sure you 100% know what you’re doing for safety reasons and then I’m happy to turn over a link. 

5. Healthfinder - A government resource that helps find patient assistance programs in your area. This might also point out the convenient county card thing. RxHope is something a lot of people get pointed to via Healthfinder that’s a good program.

Do a Google search for “patient assistant programs” + (your med), or search the manufacturers website. Sometimes the info is online; other times you have to call.

Even some of the big name pharma companies have this. It’s certainly not all companies, or all meds, but it is worth a shot.

Before Obamacare, I lost insurance and couldn’t pay for my mood stabilizers (kiiiiinda important to have those when you’re bipolar.) I was on generic Lamictal, but I went to the official Lamictal website, filled out a form with a valid prescription, and they mailed my meds to me every month for free.

If you buy pre-made herbal tea blends (usually have names like Bedtime, Calm, etc) check the ingredients. I just saw a Nighttime blend that had St. Johns Wort in it, which can be dangerous when mixed with some medications. Talk to you doctor what herbs you should avoid. (Especially when you want to ingest st. Johns wort or mugwort) 

St. John’s Wort also interacts with birth control.

open this if you don’t feel good today 💌

taste:

eat small fruit snacks

buy yourself a treat occasionally

make a cake in a mug

chew flavored sugar-free gum

put lemon in your water

hearing:

listen to your favorite music

or just wear earphones to block things out

listen to white noise/ambient sounds

smell:

put on some sweet-scented lotion

spray a bit of your favorite perfume

make your favorite coffee or tea

sight:

look in the mirror and tell yourself you look good today

clean the clutter in your room + throw things away

close all the unused tabs

clean the dishes + do your laundry

delete unused apps

make your bed

fold your clothes tidily

organize your books and papers

turn down the brightness of your phone/computer at night

smile and be more polite at strangers

open up the curtains, let the light in

go outside often

touch:

hug people you love

cuddle your pet

read while lying in your bed

hug a soft toy

appearance:

wash your face/use face wipes

dry shampoo if you’re too tired to shower

brush your teeth

exfoliate + moisturize your skin

change into clean clothes

brush your hair

put on some lip balm

body:

do your favorite exercises

take a nap

take deep breaths with your stomach

take a warm shower

stand up and stretch your legs

put on some music and go for a walk outside

get at least 7 hours of sleep

drink lots of water

hobbies:

always make some time to do what you love

create art, writing and music for yourself, not anyone else

don’t feel embarrassed about your hobbies

be patient with yourself, progress takes time! don’t give up

hobby ideas: cooking, reading, drawing, painting, a sport, a new language, learn a musical instrument, collect things, photography, join a class or a club

mind:

put yourself first

spend less time around people who make you feel bad

write your thoughts in a journal

stand up for yourself

stop judging people

don’t dwell in the past

concentrate on what’s happening now

don’t try for people who don’t care

stop caring about what’s not important

be a friend to yourself, rather than a bully

learn to love your body

see the bigger picture

change self-destructive habits

appreciate the good

let things go

ask for help

studying:

make lists

focus on priorities

stop putting everything off

turn off your phone if you need to

take breaks

do one thing at a time

believe in yourself!

other:

laugh a lot

get a plant and name it

buy flowers for yourself

be ok with being alone

go out with your friends

watch a movie

anxiety and anger are extremely persistent in ADHD because we fixate on that input and devote all our runtime to trying to “fix” it when in reality the only way to fix it is to leave it alone. considering we are diagnosed with Chronic Cannot Leave It Alone Disease, that is Difficult.

when you’re outside one of these loops, take inventory of all the things you do that suck you into devoting all your attention to them. when i was a kid, the way i avoided asthma attacks was i played video games while taking my meds, so i wouldn’t be fixating on the anxiety and making the asthma worse. nowadays, i avoid anger spirals by also playing video games (in my experience turn-based strategy is a hyperfocus superhighway so i use those) so i’m forced to divert resources to do this other thing.

joke’s on you, impotent fury, you can’t kidnap my brain if my brain is somewhere else entirely

So here’s some. Add your own if you’d like!

* listens to you talk when you have issues and supports you through them

* stops doing things you tell them make you uncomfortable

* compromises when necessary

* never puts you down deliberately, especially not publically

* supports your ambitions

* uses a calm rational tone during arguments

* is able to apologise when they’re in the wrong

plain rice goes a long way for meals, and so do dried beans! they usually go for $1/lb at the store

huge bags of potatoes usually go for <$5 at grocery stores, and, when stored properly, they last a long time!

spending a little bit more up front for spices and/or sauces REALLY helps when you’re eating the same plain rice and vegetables every day!

look up ways to make your vegetables last by regrowing or freezing!

schizophrenia and psychosis (a key symptom of schizophrenia) are mental states that can cause symptoms including paranoia, hallucinations, delusions, disorganised thoughts and unusual behaviours. friends and family are extremely important to a person’s recovery from schizophrenia and psychosis. your empathy and love can make a big difference.

support for communication difficulties

- some people with psychosis may be unable to think clearly. speaking at your normal pace is fine, but you may need to give your loved one a little extra time to absorb and process what you’ve said, and be willing to repeat it if they didn’t understand.

- if your loved one shows a limited range of emotions, be aware that it doesn’t mean they aren’t feeling anything. some people with psychosis simply have difficulty expressing how they feel.

- understand that sometimes, people experiencing psychosis express “inappropriate” emotions, eg. laughing at something upsetting. don’t take this personally and try to remain patient if this happens. if you need to clarify the reaction with the person, do so in private and in a calm manner.

- some people struggle to make eye contact and find it unsettling. if your loved one is clearly avoiding eye contact, don’t make a big deal out of it - they’re not trying to be rude, rather, it’s a symptom of their illness. you may find that your loved one prefers to sit beside you over being in front of you as it’s less confrontational, so you could try to do this more often.

support for hallucinations

- avoid encouraging the belief that the hallucinations are real if possible, and instead use language such as, “i don’t see anything, what do you see?” so that they feel they can talk to you about it.

- don’t mock or laugh at your loved one’s experiences unless they do first or have stated that it’s okay if you make light of it.

- offer distractions such as watching tv or listening to music.

support for delusions

- recognise that their delusions may be very real to them. don’t dismiss, minimise or argue with them about these experiences, and do not act alarmed or embarrassed by them. however, it’s important to be careful that you don’t inflame your loved one’s paranoia - don’t actively encourage it, and instead, offer your empathy.

- be as empathetic as you can. if your loved one is experiencing paranoia and is afraid because of that, understand that they legitimately feel fearful even if you think the paranoia is unfounded. express that you understand why they feel this emotion and ask them what you can do to help in future.

support for social isolation

- encourage your loved one gently, never forcefully, to partake in social gatherings when it’s appropriate. perhaps suggest a weekly outing, for example, a walk in the country, seeing a movie together or a meal somewhere quiet.

- small things go a long way. they don’t overwhelm and sending something uplifting every so often encourages recovery. remind your loved one that you’re thinking of them and that you care about them.

- if your loved one forgets their medication, drop them a reminder every so often. it’s important that they keep taking it if it helps them.

crisis intervention

- know that you can’t reason with acute psychosis and that your loved one is unwell. they may say or do things that they wouldn’t normally do and they may not understand that those things could upset you.

- understand that the person may be fearful of their feelings and their loss of control over them. because of this it’s important that you don’t express anger or irritation and don’t use sarcasm as a weapon. don’t raise your voice. speak in a calm, level way.

- avoid making continuous eye contact and avoid making physical contact without permission or warning if the person is agitated or afraid.

- remove objects that the person may use to harm themselves if they express wishes to self-harm or attempt suicide. this includes anything sharp and tools that they could use to inflict burns.

- provide options for getting help. your loved one may be more willing to seek help if they feel they have control over the situation. for example, suggest a doctors appointment to get started on medication, but suggest that you or someone else will go back with them if the medication doesn’t help or has too many side effects.

- don’t leave the person alone. if they have a support network, get in contact with people who can help and stay with them.

Layout:

Staged furniture when viewing. Staged furniture is usually small and can artificially make a room look bigger than it is.

Check placement of outlets and windows. Layout, especially on older properties did not take into consideration where you would place your furniture.

Which rooms face the front? Is it noisy out there? It could be detrimental to your sleep.

Any business, churchs or schools nearby? Traffic and parking could be a problem at certain times of the day.

Which direction does the house face? South facing rooms will have sun all day. North facing won’t and will be colder.

Utilities:

Check taps and shower for low pressure.

Fill sinks and let them drain. Slow drainage means a potential blockage and problems down the line.

Smoke detectors. Do you have them and are they hard wired or not? If not, changing batteries every six months is a must.

Circuit breaker. Is it in good condition and everything labelled correctly?

Two prong outlets? Its a good sign that they are old and could give you problems.

Are the windows double pane? If not, your heating bills will be higher.

Which rooms are wired for tv? Are you going to have to pay to have co-ax cables installed elsewhere?

Are there areas in the house where wi-fi signals won’t get to? Also check for cell phone coverage all over the house.

Misc:

Is there an HOA and if so, what are the rules?

Mold and damp spots. Walk away.

Whats your commute like?

Whats the area like? Check at different times of the day to get a feel for the place.

Are there lots of rentals nearby? This can cause issues with bad neighbours.

Meet your potential neighbours. You will have to coexist with them so it’s best to find out now what they are like.

I’m “bad at” working on long-term projects without an imminent deadline or someone breathing down my neck? Okay, let’s change that: I can’t work on long-term projects without an imminent deadline and someone breathing down my neck. So let’s create an imminent deadline and recruit neck-breathers. Find a sympathetic prof who will agree that 3 weeks before the due date they expect me to show them my preliminary notes and bibliography. Get a friend I trust to block off an hour to sit with me and keep asking, “Are you working on your project?” Write a blog post about my progress. Arrange to trade papers and proofread them with another student.

Most bloggers aren’t writing for the chronically ill audience. Typical tips, tricks and hacks on productivity, motivation and studying just don’t work for us. As a chronically ill student who’s in her last year of undergrad (yay!) I decided to share what I have learned over the (many) years. 

1. Get comfortable. Seriously. Don’t force yourself to sit at your desk, or go out to a coffee shop to study. Most people will tell you not to lay in bed while you read your books but if you are anything like me, getting ready and driving to the library or Starbucks just takes too much energy. I recommend making yourself a nice set up with everything you need. If you can tolerate sitting at a desk don’t skimp out. Buy yourself a decent, ergonomic office or gaming chair. Make sure you have a drink, a snack, your medication, charges, books, and anything else you need within arms reach. The less you have to get up the more energy you are saving. 

2. Take frequent breaks. Okay, this may sound contradictory to tip #1 but hear me out. Everyone person is different, every body is different, and every day is different. Some days your symptoms are just so bad you need to get comfortable and try not to move. But other days you might be fighting brain fog and mental exhaustion. So get up, or even just stop and sit for a minute to rest your mind. Some days I will stop every few sections and get up to do something small like apply a face mask, go back to studying, and then get up in 15 minutes to wash it off etc. Just find what works for you.

3. Write shit down. Write everything down. And write it in multiple places. Again, brain fog is such a bitch, but writing things down multiple times in multiple places will help you remember. I have a paper calendar that I write all my assignment due dates, doctors appointments, and other important things onto, but I also have an assignment check list with all of my upcoming assignments in my notebook. Also, I keep a huge running list titled Never Ending List of Shit To Do with boring chores and tasks that need to be done like doctors to call, bills to pay, letters to mail etc; and I use that list to pick and choose what I’m going to do each day and fill that out on a sticky note or another small insert that serves as my daily to do list.

4. Establish a routine. But don’t be discouraged if you can’t follow it to a T and don’t be afraid to change it up. My routine changes a lot because my symptoms and body are constantly changing too. Also, it’s important to note that a routine is not the same as a schedule. This is important for those of us with chronic illness because its just not feasible to assume we will be able to get up at the same time every day, eat lunch at the same time every day, and study for the same amount of time every day.  

5. Stay (way) ahead of schedule. You never know what life is going to throw at you, especially when you are chronically ill. Unfortunately, we can’t plan our flares, but we can prepare for them. If you know you suffer from migraines that will knock you out of commission for 3 days then make sure you are always 3 days ahead of schedule. Something I highly recommend is doing a little bit every day, even if its only 20 minutes of reading. Of course, sometimes we need a break and that’s okay too! Self care is important!

6. Online classes are the best. So many people say online classes are hard because you have to be super disciplined, and that it’s easier to have the accountability to show up to class, but I highly disagree. Online classes give you the freedom to read when you want, listen to lectures when you want, sleep when you need to, and stay comfortable in bed when it would be impossible to get to class. I work solely online and if it weren’t for the option of online classes I would not be in college right now or anytime in the near future.

7. Audio is your friend. Honestly, this is a tip for everyone in high school or college out there. Sometimes we are too tired or in too much pain to stare at a book or screen, or sometimes we need to utilize our energy wisely and multitask by listening while we clean the house. And this isn’t limited to audio text books. There are so many YouTube videos, podcasts, documentaries and more that you can easily just pop on while you are resting or doing chores! I listen to my lectures while I do my nails every week.

8. Don’t rewrite your notes. Don’t write them at all if you can avoid it. Almost all of my professors supply chapter outlines or summaries that I can just print off and fill in extra notes on. If you do need to write your notes I suggest typing them, or only writing them out once, and only what is most important. Whatever you do, don’t rewrite them, and for the love of god do not waste your time trying to make them look like an Instagram photo. Ain’t nobody got spoons for that.

9. Try to balance your course load appropriately. If you are taking a full course load try to even out the number of upper division classes you take with some easy classes, as well as some boring and some interesting. Alternatively, don’t be afraid to drop classes and go down to part time, even if just for one semester. I have tried to stay full time all year round since I re-enrolled in school fall semester of 2017, but spring of 2019 my health took a drastic decline and I did drop down from 5 classes to 3. I also took summer of 2019 off to focus on my health and came back this semester (fall 2019) ready to rock and roll. Seriously, do not be afraid to drop classes. It felt like the end of the world when I did it, but it was absolutely the right choice for me. It saved my GPA and my sanity.

10. Talk to your professor. And your university, and your classmates, and your adviser, and anyone else around you who can offer resources and support. Every university and college  has a Disability Services Coordinator Student Center available to request accommodations. The information to contact the center should be listed on your syllabus and the school website. They can help with everything and anything disability related. And if you feel comfortable you should really talk to your professor. Just give them a heads up and inform them of what’s going on. As for your classmates, its always good to connect and find a study buddy or someone you can borrow notes from whether you have a disability or not! 

Emotional Flashbacks are one of the hallmark symptoms of CPTSD and one of the things that differentiates it from PTSD. 

In PTSD and typical flashbacks you flashback to an event and are re-experiencing that event as an explicit memory. In typical flashbacks you are experiencing a specific memory of an event. 

In CPTSD and Emotional Flashbacks you flashback to an emotional state without a clear memory of the event that caused this state. So you are experiencing the emotions tied to the traumatic event without remembering the event itself. 

This makes it harder to recognize that you are experiencing a flashback because you seem to just feel bad for no reason, especially if you don’t realize that you were triggered. People with CPTSD sometimes can’t remember specific traumatic events because trauma was long term and a part of their daily life, and/or because the trauma began at such an early age. 

To give a more clear example, I recognized that I was having an emotional flashback today because I was feeling frozen, helpless, powerless, and as if my actions would have no impact on the world around me. 

Just recognizing that you are having an emotional flashback can be helpful, but grounding techniques that pull you back into the present are especially helpful. Once I realized I was in an emotional flashback I turned off the sad music and tried to reorient myself to the present.