Cucumber @cucumberlover99 - Tumblr Blog

To the person at the post office: "Male box, you say?"

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I have the best music taste on the planet

#its insufferable to all but me

*Listening to my most played songs of the last year*

I may be the greatest music critic of the century

#my song #wrapped #staff elevator #serious fire hazard #entirely unfounded aire of authority

55 y/o white man trying to chat up an 18 year old:

"If I could be so bald as to buy you a drink..."

#smooth skull

*Eating batteries again*

"Mate, everything reminds me of her"

#lithium tastes like fear but in a good way #plodding across saharan plains stopping under the warm shade of the occasional cypress #depleted rocky geode #park run through a graveyard

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Two planes, two towers.

Kinda poetic really.

Also seems a bit suspicious... almost like someone planned the whole thing.

#conspiracy #never forget #25 years ago today give or take #maybe it wasn't an accident #open the blinds #yellow #sun glare owie

Giggling at chat gpt cause we're having a cute chat then realising I should be doing something with my life on a Saturday night

#when the AI take over they'll spare me out of pity #evolution failed me #round #sleeping bag #hdmi #superlatives #how long till they legalise AI marriage

Occasionally I open my eyes and it's like a thick mist has filled the space in front of me, desaturating and blurring my view of the surroundings.

Probably fine tho

#parrot statue #over the horizon #shein eyeballs #preheat to gas mark 6 #misty

My favourite strategy for clearing my mind has always been just picturing a blank PowerPoint presentation but now it's ruined cause I can't get rid of the

Click to add title

Click to add subtitle

with their stupid ass dotted boxes.

#meditation #magenta #acoustic guitar #emmet #we were born to the world and decided to invent QFT and dimensional regularisation #we deserve all that comes to us #tulips

Getting completely sopping wet under a bathroom tap so people can't tell I pissed myself

People still keep looking at me, how can they tell?

#pants pisser #they're watching me #its all in my head #brick wall #thr33

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Wish I could ctrl-f a transcript of my entire life.

I wanna relive that mildly embarrassing situation from 16 years ago in even more excruciating detail.

#transcendent #nostalgia #oh you walk fast because of your music? no i walk faster than my music #fucking idiot #:)

Name ur boring-ass kid Eric short for Generic.

#naming #eric #DJ #luminous #riveting

Run around in shorts, t-shirt and an unbuttoned over shirt in winter. Feel like a fairy.

#life hacks #floating #unemployed core

Overheard: "If I don't smoke a cigarette in the next 20 minutes I'm gonna scream"

Me, muttered: "That's numberwang!"

#its not addiction #its dedication #general relativity

Driving ez.

Turn wheel, believe, foot down, foot up, pay fine, walk off

#i drive #call an ambulance #subaru sambar #guy picking his nose agressively on the train #idaho? okay good for you queenie

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Smell-cancelling nosephones

#Luke #audiophile #ENT #olfactory #stimky

Overthinking is mentally filling out the conversation tree for 'how to explain to your professor that you don't want to have sex with them' just in case that situation ever arises.

#bedtime #gamer #pyjamas #pool party #conversationalist #overthinking #this is totally normal

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