#conversationalist

THE TRUTH ABOUT BEING ABLE TO HOLD A CONVERSATION

(and it’s not asking questions!!!!)

Okay so listen up. I know many people tell you that all you need to do is keep asking questions about the other person and keep them talking the entire time. Once upon a time, I thought this too. Then I tried it out. I kept asking others questions and being interested in them but I just couldn’t understand why they still didn’t seem so eager. But then I looked at other people and the way they had conversations and I realised… they tell stories too.

And that’s what keeps a conversation going. Tell stories about your own life. Talk about yourself as well! I say ‘as well’ because you need the right amount of talking and listening as well.

People want to listen to you too, they want to listen about your interesting life! When talk to them about something you’re passionate about or something that happened to you that relates to the conversation, they’re actually interested guys!!

Stop thinking that you have nothing interesting to say because people do find you interesting. A lot of them DO want to listen to you talk.

When you tell others about something in your life, they will want to learn more, they will be curious. Sometimes because they’re actually interested, or because they’re like you and they want to make you happy and keep the conversation going.

But what I’m NOT saying is to talk about yourself all the time. If you yap about yourself the entire time, others will start to get bored. Listen, people do want to learn more about you, but they also love to talk about themselves.

Make it a conversation where you’re both chipping in and also giving others space, time and your attention while they talk.

just wanted to preface this by saying that NOT everyone is extremely sociable and thats totally okay. this post is to help improve ur conversational skills and charisma ✨

WHY LEARNING TO BE SOCIAL IS IMPORTANT ;

social skills are literally the FOUNDATION of effective communication. its important bcuz it allows u to build meaningful relationships, express urself, collaborate with others etc.

Memang gak bisa dipungkiri, cara bicaranya orang yang berilmu, berwawasan luas, dan open minded itu memang beda. Mereka bisa berbicara dan menanggapi lawan bicaranya dengan kalimat yang terstruktur/tertata, bermakna, jelas, dan gak judgemental.

Berilmu, berwawasan luas, dan open minded bukan berarti mereka pasti adalah orang yang cerdas. In my view, ‘cerdas’ is a different topic. Jadi, belum tentu mereka cerdas. Orang yang cerdas pun belum tentu berilmu, berwawasan luas, dan open minded. Terkadang omongannya orang cerdas justru menyakitkan hati, wqwq.

“Yang benar belum tentu bijak.”

Saya lupa quote itu dari siapa. Sepertinya pernah saya dengar dari salah satu video YouTube-nya Gita Wirjawan. Sebelum saya dengar quote itu, sepertinya saya sudah menerapkannya sejak sebelum pandemi. It is always a reminder for me.

Menurut saya, yang menggiring seseorang menjadi a thoughtful conversationalist adalah banyak mendengar, banyak membaca, banyak ngobrol dengan orang-orang yang berbeda latar belakang & keilmuan, dan pandai menempatkan diri. Pendidikan formal sampe gelar ‘profesor’ sama sekali bukan jaminan bagi seseorang untuk menjadi a thoughtful conversationalist. :)