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Janaina Medeiros
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@ctrying

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@cocainecuty’s archive
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“He leaves me. And not like he did back in the day when he told me that I was vile and cruel, and not like he did when we told each other it was over earlier this year, making out in a hotel corridor, clutching onto each other too hard, trying to convince each other that we didn’t feel what we obviously felt. He just doesn’t choose me. It’s that simple. He is just too good a person to love me.”
— The Heart Rate of a Mouse Vol. 2: Wolves vs. Hearts [Book IlI, Chapter VI]

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“Remember the animal that after escaping, returns to captivity. Choice crushed my body into shapewear. Want for motion free of direction folded me into cars with strangers. I want when I want, and then I wish for corrosion.”
— Xandria Phillips, “Ode to a Vibrator Left On All Night,” published in Ninth Letter (via bostonpoetryslam)
“A lover? Maybe. Something tender, anyway. But tender like a bruise.”
— Marie Rutkoski, The Winner’s Kiss
THE HAUNTING OF BLY MANOR (2020) Dir. Mike Flanagan
We really need to address the fact that women aren't more likely to be asexual than men. Ace men are more likely to be closeted especially to themselves because society tells them that they must be sexual/are sex obsessed/be attracted to people and in particular women. And it can be extrememly difficult to look at yourself and say "wow I guess I'm not the way society says I should be".
Ace men deserve mad respect for figuring themselves out.
compliment recklessly! say the nice things that come to your head! we've got better things to do than resisting the instinct to be kind!

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pastel skies are so lovely
"get his ass" is such an inherently funny phrase
Remember when all that mattered was old town road by lil nas x. when everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.
one of the big concepts I learned in therapy that has been fucking revolutionary for me is the concept that sometimes u can just feel feelings and they don't have to mean anything.
like, I can just be sad about something for a little while because it feels cathartic and helpful to let myself be sad, and it doesnt have to mean anything or change how I act or treat people.
like sometimes u just need to feel an emotion in order to process and work through things, and sometimes it just feels good to let urself be sad about a silly or little thing. and then once its out its over, uve experienced it and now it is done so u can move on.
and I dont have to derive greater meaning from it or do anything about it. i was just sad for a few hours and now i feel better and that's all that matters.

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Tell me where it hurts, she’d say. Stop howling. Just calm down and show me where. But some people can’t tell where it hurts. They can’t calm down. They can’t ever stop howling.
The Blind Assasin, Margaret Atwood
Marina Tsvetaeva, from “Poem of the End”, Bride of Ice: New Selected Poems