black magic.

Tsk tsk, that’s not nice of them. Yes, lots of night shoots this week but it’s been fun. That sounds cool. London is always fun.

Plus, you get to be around Troian, don’t you? Although, you’re around her all the time.

Sh, no. Accept the damn compliment, Joshua. Good plan. She’s probably my best friend, and I can hear her now yelling at me I told you so about me and you having sex. And I’m going to slap her for that, maybe. But I kind of want to play it, now. So I’m going to try and find it. You can’t stop me. Babe, he’s a dinosaur – not a dragon. They’re different. I can’t believe you don’t know what Spyro is. We’re going to have to fix this. All these compliments – I’m going to get a big head if you keep them up. My ego is thanking you for it. Okay, true. I live for weird, though. It’s fun.

I am accepting the damn compliment, Selena Marie. Is it Marie? I’m not sure. Jen always know what is going to happen and the fact she also knows we’re having sex is a little bit weird. Don’t slap her. Why are you so stubborn? Damnit, don’t play the game, woman. Ah, shit, I thought it was the same thing, Barney scares me anyway. Are you going to make me play Spyro or Google about it? Ah, you know I’m being honest. 

Bromances are the best. You probably do, you guys worked together for so long it’s only natural. That’s how I feel with the guys on the show. Good. Not too much man. Filming a lot for the show now though since we’re just starting off the last season. What about you?

I have yet to talk to them because they keep disappearing on me and that’s not cool, at all. Working a lot, eh? I haven’t been doing much, I’m in London, spendng time with Selena, Zayn and Jen.

You could have let me believe that you knew loads of things. I’m sure that you’re smart though, babe. I will pray for him, he’ll need it. Well, we’ve been spending a lot of time with her, so there’s that – and we’re still alive. Maybe barely but we are. I’ve never heard of that game before, sounds weird. Yes, those games were my childhood. They were great. I wonder if you can still get them. Spyro – the little purple dragon? How do you not know that game? Disappointed. You do have the perfect body so we’re going to talk about this. Of course I do – would suck to go months without sex again. Plus, you’re great at it so there’s another reason to keep fucking you. I feel like I’m a teenager again, this is great. We could – might be weird but we could.

But you wouldn’t believe me, you’re smarter, babe. Let’s all pray for him instead. Yeah, she’s not that bad, we can spend time with her and have some fun. You shouldn’t play that game, you’re going to think that I’m a bully when I’m really not, I just enjoy the whole thing, y’know. Little purple dragon? Aren’t we talking about Barney? I’m joking. Yeah, it’s not good to go months without sex. Oh, you’re the one who’s great at it, plus, you make it all easy with that perfect body of yours. Everything we do is weird, babe.

The more you talk about ranting the more I feel you may be the male version of me because I love a good rant whether it makes people laugh at me or with me. More and more people are wearing glasses so we’ve gotta bring them what they want. Life has been up and down but seems to be on the up right now. Working harder and not really playing hard but I’ll make that change. How about with you?

I am definitely the male version of you, then. Also, can we talk about how great you were in Under The Dome? It was my favorite show and when your character died, I cried like a freaking baby. So we have to think about the people that are wearing glasses? That would make sense. I guess I could say the same about me, life’s just-- weird.

That wouldn’t be soft hearted of you, no. That would be mean. You’re condoning all the torture these girls have had to go through over the years? I can’t believe you. I don’t even know if I can trust you anymore, maybe you’re working for the Hollywood A Team and I’m your first target. I have to be on my guard now around you.

Well, you can’t blame me, I have no idea what is going on anymore, like I said before, I have to watch it all again. No, I’m the one who can’t trust you anymore, Troi. You’re team Gale and Katniss, this is the end of the world. Woah, now you think I’m working for the Hollywood A Team when I’m not.

You’re so soft hearted, Josh. It’s sweet. This is why you’d crumble on the A Team, though. They’d eat you alive. Precisely! I’m going to play Spencer as best as I can but I’ve come to accept that I’ve got no control over what happens to her. It’s disappointing sometimes, but it’s life. Mhm. Like I said, I’ll believe it when I see it. Totally. I even have a Team Gale tee shirt.

Or maybe I like the A team and what they do to the girls. No, I don’t. I hate the A team. Well, I think you’re the best Spencer ever and I’ve told you, you’re such an amazing actress and you deserve the best, really. Damnit, stop doubting me! That’s it, this is the end of our friendship.

This is what we call the beginning stages of a bromance. I promise I’ll never leave you, Josh.

I never thought I’d have a bromance, this is pretty cool. Although, people already say I have a bromance with Liam and Sam, I don’t know. Good, ‘cause I promise you the same thing. What’s going on in your life, Keegs?

I don’t hate you, who said that? I just enjoy buggin’ you. Stop this Pizza Hut mad talk, you’re lying. Pizza Hut would never cheat on me.. unlike I, who cheats on Pizza Hut all the time.

Your favorite thing to do is to annoy me and I know it. I’m not lying, I never lie. You wish I was lying. See? You’re such a cheater! That’s not cool!

Pretty much everything? Now I’m slightly scared cause you must be all knowing. I’m still going to pray for Zayn, he’s going to need all the help he can get. Yeah, we are – although we don’t have to live with her. So that might be our saving grace. I don’t know what that game is – sounds interesting, though. I guess you have to be a bully to people. The only game I really played on PlayStation was singstar or Crash Bandicoot. Oh, and Spyro. No, no. You have a great body, I might enjoy seeing that every night – and the sex thing every night is great, too. Keeping that up when we go back home is definitely something I’m not going to stop. I could, yes. Everything I do or say is cute but thanks, babe. Cute that you like me. Glad we’re on the same sort of page with that. 

I keep saying I know everything when the truth is, I don’t know shit and I pretend to be smart. You go and pray for Zayn. It’s great that we don’t have to live with her because I don’t think I would ever handle spending hours and hours with her. Yes, that’s right, you have to be a bully to people and it’s just weird, but I’m obsessed. Singstar and Crash Bandicoot? You’re such a little kid, it’s cute. Spyro? Let’s talk about you having a perfect body, not me, I’m lucky to get to see you naked in front of me every night, and morning. Yeah? You promise? I can’t believe you’re saying I’m cute when I’m saying I like you, we’re just two little kids trying to understand what is going on. We could make a movie about it.

You should feel special. You saying yes just made my day. We’ll be the best partners in crime ever.

This is why I have you as a friend, you know how to make me happy and all that shit. Never leave me. We’ll always do a bunch of dumb stuff but the friendship is forever.

I wouldn’t call them friends, per se. A manipulates people and uses them for her own gain. And besides, we still don’t know who Uber A is. I don’t think. I don’t know, I don’t even know my own show anymore. I just read the script, read my lines, and act scared/surprised. Mhm, I’ll believe it when you can tell me you’re all caught up on it! Of course The Hunger Games was worth it..Team Katniss and Gale. No Team Peeta, not anymore.

I’d call them friends to make me feel a little better, I don’t know how exactly I’d feel better but whatever. This is why you’re the best, you just grab the script, read it and then you’re just “alright, let’s do this” and whatever happens, happens. Listen, I’m trying to find the time to watch it all, okay? You’re Team Katniss and Gale? I am no longer your friend, get out of here.

Ranting is a really awesome way to express your feelings without resorting to violence and can also be a great source of laughter for those around you. Come on, glasses are totally more important than house windows right? Walking along with your glasses all messed up from the rain, you can’t see without them and with them you’re not doing great either. We’d be millionaires in no time. Hey, gotta do what you gotta do to get free pizza. There’ll be no judgement from me.

That’s what I’m talking about. I can rant about pretty much everyhing and people are going to agree with me or just laugh at me or with me, really. Ranting is great, people should do that more often. They could be, but what if we don’t wear glasses? Explain it to me. It wouldn’t be important. I’ve got my pizza and I’m really happy at the moment. But tell me about you, how’re you? What is going on in your life?

No one can be – I wonder how Zayn is going to survive spending the rest of his life with her. You’re being a bully because I say you are. Also by saying that you’re not going to let me come to your house. I’m going to, you can’t stop me. What playstation game are you talking about? Mhm, I like the nickname. It’s staying. You know if we did go back to the States, there’s nothing stopping me from sleeping with you over there, too. Because people will think that I’m in love with you – and I’m not at that stage, yet. I’m at the crushing on you hard core stage. Pft, I’m fine with people thinking that. I’m amazing – why wouldn’t you be obsessed with me? Hey, you’re welcome.

Since I always have an answer for pretty much everything, I’m going to answer this one-- Zayn’s probably already used to having her being sarcastic, funny and angry at the same time, he’ll survive. We’re still here and we’re her best friends, right? It’s easy to deal with her, sometimes. Let’s see if I can’t stop you. I’m talking about “Bully” such a mean and great game, seriously. Good, I thought you’d only want to sleep with me here in London and that’s not cool, we’re supposed to have sex pretty much every night. Yet? Are you saying you could fall for me? Hm. You have a crush on me, that’s cute, babe. I’m not obsessed with you, I can say that I like you, a lot, but I’m not obsessed.

The funniest person in the world? Well, at least that comment there was funny. You’re getting somewhere! No, I’m kidding. You’re funny, Josh. You’re funny. When did you and Pizza Hut become best friends? I’m not digging this, at all. Stop it. I am the BFF of all the pizza stores in the world and that’s final. Don’t challenge me. Love? Love. No, I don’t think so.

I have a great question for you: Why do you hate me and why can’t you love me instead? This bullying is starting to hurt me and it’s not even funny anymore. I kid, I kid. We’ve been best friends for several years, we’re like the best team ever and you can’t deny it. Not all the pizza stores because Pizza Hut is done with you. Love.