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h
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@csialarchived
just a note to say that osial will be moving to new sideblog attached to my main slowly over the next day or so. I love him dearly and still have so much I want to do with him but do not have the time for blog hopping aggressively like I used to. To make it easier on me I will be clearing the inbox and dropping what drafts are left but will reblog a meme once I've finished queuing things on the new blog.
THIS BLOG IS NOW @csial
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just a note to say that osial will be moving to new sideblog attached to my main slowly over the next day or so. I love him dearly and still have so much I want to do with him but do not have the time for blog hopping aggressively like I used to. To make it easier on me I will be clearing the inbox and dropping what drafts are left but will reblog a meme once I've finished queuing things on the new blog.
to provoke the sea is a mistake many humans are foolish enough to make. to tame it is an endeavour none have or will ever achieve. even the hydro sovereign himself does not have this arrogance, all-powerful as he is over the element he embodies, the waters he reigns over as absolute. even here, in the depths of liyue's waters, the leviathan treads with the careful minutiae of one who knows better than to presume his power - and underestimate the tumultuous storms contained in the god before him. in the cold, dark depths of the trenches, neuvillette reaches, slowly, yet without hesitation, for the crook of osial's neck, and slower still peel the fabric of his clothes off his shoulder, primordial gaze taking in, drinking in the sight osial has invited him to discover for himself when neuvillette had asked about his human form. similar, yet so different to his own - tones of blue shifting beneath his touch as if ever-changing (slightly different from the form he usually sees at the surface - does osial's appearance change, when freed from the harsh fake sun and dry earthy air?). one glance at osial, and neuvillette knows (something twists in his chest and in the pit of his belly - he chooses to pretend to ignore it) he has permission to allow his curiosity to seek further. osial's other shoulder is freed, then his arms, and neuvillette's hand moves to come and rest over his companion's chest. there is a heart beating in here, too - human or elemental? how different, now, are they, the two of them? neuvillette's eyes drift, to the pendant around osial's neck - similar to the one he has gifted him, faithfully hung around his neck too. neuvillette's heart skips a beat in his chest. "this is... different." neuvillette whispers, eyes rising up to meet osial's. his hand, absently, drifts down from his chest, and settles upon the god's stomach (the muscle beenath the skin shifting like the currents - this too, is different). "i was never able to get used to my... human form, but... would it be entirely out of place of me to say that, seeing you mould yourself into a similar shape, even when you don't have to... brings me a guilty sense of relief?"
There is a comfort, being in the depths of his own realm, the waters shared with one he has given absolute trust to. While visits to Fontaine are preferred owing to the lack of former Geo archon lingering in the crowds, so aware and present, even in his absence, the visit from his sovereign is enough to preen happily, to take advantage and allow Liyue a day of reprieve from his attention for he has a better offer. To twist around each other within the tides is satisfying, a courting curl of freedom and curiosity, and even when they fall still amongst the waves, there is little space between them, Neuvillette's gaze wandering across him with an intensity that tells Osial there is something on his mind.
He loses thought on it pretty quickly when the sovereign finds his neck, the gentle dance of fingertips too light to be anything but a tease as his shirt is peeled back and his skin left exposed. Around him the waters quiver with anticipation, his heartbeat quickening as hands shift and he is divested of all fabric to the waist, sleeves abandoned as soon as they fell to his elbow. The fabric might flutter to the seabed itself were it not trapped within the waistband of his trousers, though Osial's mind has long forgotten it, focused instead on the way Neuvillette ghosts a hand over his chest and watches the human form disappear, instead his elemental form blooming beneath, hues of blue with a dash of purple owing to the butterfly beat in his chest.
He fears he might drift away should Neuvillette not keep such a grip on him, the breath that stutters over his lips leaving a scattering of bubbles making their way to the surface just as sharp as the warmth that burns within him as Neuvillette's hand slides across his stomach. He is certain the Iudex has not a clue what he initiates here, being so brazen in his touch, and yet he would have to be a far stronger person to not be affected.
Reaching down, he lays his own hand over Neuvillette's own, curling his fingers around it and raising it off of him to reach his lips where he might press a tender, drawn out kiss to the palm, reassuring in the words that are spoken. While he might not have heard them all, the heartbeat in his ears too loud and the touches he received too distracting, he has fathomed enough to understand Neuvillette's hesitance.
"Have I not been plain that there is no guilt between us?" he murmurs into skin, half-lidded eyes raising to meet that unwavering gaze. "I understand the struggle you face..." He has been trapped before albeit in his own home not his body, he does understand that feeling. The skin crawling sensation that cannot be escaped because it is not right and cannot be made right easily. "This vessel of mine is shaped as I will it and if that shape brings you comfort then all the more reason to keep it..." he pauses, drawing his free hand to cradle Neuvillette's cheek, thumb audaciously catching at the edge of his mouth, skating across lip.
"Though you'll have to forgive the changing hues..." He presses a memory through the waters then, offering it openly, explicitly showing how his pulse had danced under exploring hands, how ghosting fabric parting from skin left his breath short. How in the centre of it all is the fact it is Neuvillette himself doing so. He is caught between two desires then; one wishes to turn and press his back to Neuvillette's chest, to wrap those arms around him and let him explore as he wishes, the other - bolder perhaps - wants to let his own hands wander to find the shape of the sovereign's form. Yet he will not be so quickly to overwhelm with sensation, aware that this is still new, that there is time yet and such things have no need of hurrying. He is aware that in this it is better to savour the moment, to be honest with the emotion but not beholden to it, for it will have its time.
But he still has a god's greed, and that is insatiable in its desire. It twists within him, stoked by the skimmed touches and newfound closeness, encouraged by the isolation they find themselves in. And so he swims closer, till his chest is pressed to Neuvillette's own, hand shifting from cheek to nape, cradling with reverance as he leans in and lets lips meet in a kiss that is too chaste for the emotion he is feeling, a gentle brush that he permits himself to take before leaning his forehead against Neuvillette's and chuckling breathlessly. "If my shaping myself in this way brings you such relief, I will continue to do so without question..." For to bring you relief brings an ease to my chest I cannot replicate, your happiness is important to me.
[ META ] + Zhongli (not Morax, Zhongli as he is today 👀)
I've written about this before in the following posts: one (antagonistic), two (frustrated), three (ship specific), four (technically morax)
And I pretty much stand by what I wrote in all these posts, depending on which path Osial's going down. Generally Zhongli is someone he is connected to whether he likes it or not, someone who is ahead of him always just out of reach, yet also his equal, yet also so far away from him and so very close. He's someone he sees himself as equal to but does not believe it's reciprocated, who terrifies him because he might return him to his prison, who angers him because he views him as incomprehensible, who he does not understand and is not sure if it angers him because he wants to or it is impossible.
❛ dressed . help my muse put on an article of clothing . (maybe handing him a robe, early days of Osial ever taking on a human form? :D from Zhongli obvs)
"I fail to see the purpose in these confounded complications of cloth." There is a hiss to his words, agitation bleeding from his surface as Osial twists at the belt about his waist and adjusts the inner robe until the sit of it feels at least somewhat comfortable. It has been an ordeal to simply acquire this many layers and as he turns and looks over his shoulder, he sees that he is being handed another layer, an outer robe or coat, something that encases him further. He is beginning to regret the decision to see what interest these mortal ants bring to Morax and the rest of the Assembly.
"Why do you insist on immersing within their village, can we not just stop on the fringes then this..." he gestures to the fabric and the form, "...would be unnecessary." Despite his grumblings, he does slip an arm clumsily through the opening of the robe being held out to him, the other through the opposite side and slide in till it sits upon his shoulders, feeling the gentle warmth of hands in the fabric until they fall away. He huffs smoothing the fabric and twisting, instantly getting the trailing ends caught in low-hanging branches and hisses sharply as it pulls uncomfortably, hissing at the sensation.
"Why must this be so difficult?!"
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'angry water worm' neuvi is lucky that osial is rather fond of him djkfhdskh
‘I have no need to forgive you. you cannot offend me.’ (cheating and sending this one here too, from neuvillette)
There is silence in the wake of the words that leave the sovereign's lips bar the wash of the waves that folds against his ankles, the gentle shift a reminder of all that has been divulged. Eyes cast down to their linked hands, head bowed in deference perhaps, grip loosening on instinct though not yet letting go entirely.
The second apology sits on his tongue but he swallows it for he has been told his words bear no offence, that his apologies are unnecessary. He ought know this; truly do they not wear each other's tokens and share this connection of fingers entwined? Has it not all but been said without words when they share these moments of time together? Yet it is hard for him to fathom, to consider that the sudden divulgence of all his emotions at once was not somewhat intense for Neuvillette and this is why the apology jumped forth without hesitation.
There is something different after all in taking that small step into the waters and allowing the vastness of his emotions to be seen by he who knows all emotion and memory. To feel the depths beneath the surface, to know the ferocity of what existed there. He had forgotten himself in their wanders, teased about diving into the depths and swimming together as they have done in the past, and let his foot dip into the water without remembering that doing so would render him little more than glass and expose Neuvillette to all that he does not say.
Now his heart thumps in his chest, the apology blurted off his tongue in an instant in hope that he has not overwhelmed Neuvillette with how much he feels, how deep his emotions run. He is not used to giving so much so quickly, but it has been done now and he cannot undo it. Instead he lifts his gaze again, swallowing once more and boldly lays his free hand upon Neuvillette's cheek.
"Nothing changes that you do not want to..." he insists, before anything more can be said. There is a deep need there to have that known, to have it spoken plain. At the same time, he studies Neuvillette's visage, chasing any reaction to the depths of his emotions, the weight of his affection, selfishly, and hoping he does not see panic. "It is there, and now you know it, you have seen it all. But there is no need for obligations to act upon it if you do not want to."
Amusingly, he contradicts himself in the little pep talks he has shared with his sovereign, one who insists that if something is wanted it should be taken, that if there is something to be changed it ought be, sitting instead on all this feeling and allowing a natural course to be followed, but there is reason in his actions. Perhaps the most reason he has reached for in a long time.
"It is there and has been for some time. It can remain unsaid for as long as you need. I ask nothing more of you than this." His hand squeezes, tightening that grip of joined fingers again, his hand slipping from Neuvillette's cheek to curl around the pendant that sits about his own neck. He's waited so many years to find some sort of direction in this world, to be free of his prisons, to feel a sense of peace, he is not inclined to rush Neuvillette either to find the same page. Some things are worth the wait.
↪ 𝑩𝑼𝑹𝒀 𝑴𝑬 𝑾𝑯𝑶𝑳𝑬 . ( a collection of lyric starters from the band dead poet society . feel free to adjust phrasing as necessary . )
i know you said you’re busy at the moment , but i think you’re lying .
i want you to give me a reason to leave .
you don’t get it , do you ?
you use me when you need a hit .
what's it cost for a minute of your heart and soul ?
my state of mind’s been steadily dropping .
might as well just hold my tongue , it’s nothing you would understand .
i don’t really know myself .
thoughts of you are racing in my mind .
oh , you had me for a moment .
you took it out on me when it got hard .
i know you’re mocking my name .
i don’t understand why i’m so afraid of who i am .
i’m done . i’m leaving .
no , you don’t care anyways .
take me home .
if this isn’t love , then i’ll stop now .
take your coat , don’t get cold .
you never loved me . you didn’t want me .
give me something real .
god , it feels like i’ve been here before .
i feel like we’re drifting apart .
i never loved myself like i love you .
maybe you could help me .
i heard your friends say that you think you're better off .
you’ll never understand .
i’ve got enough friends .
i’m finding it harder to fit in .
why are you afraid to die ?
it’s nothing you would understand .
god help you , darling .
tonight it’s hard for me to care .
can you swear i’ll be yours ?
baby , it’s too late to talk .
you say that you love me but you never could .
there's nothing more that i'd like than to be yours for life .
i don’t wanna go out tonight .
i thought that i could trust you .
i’m leaving you cause the pain isn’t worth it .
don’t pretend to love me when you’re feeling alone .
run your mouth like you do so well , you did this to yourself .
i love you . don’t ask why , it’s just because i do .
i know you’re mine .
you feel so lovely when you touch me .
you don’t wanna change .
i’ll say the words and you’ll listen .
you don’t love me .
who am i to hold you back ?
i need to know the truth .
why’d you have to say it ?
i’m running out of time .
the self - loathing comes and goes .
fighting is doing no good .
fuck it , just drive .
have you been here before ?
no , you think i’m fucking lazy .
baby , i swear i tried .
i’m dying to see you again .
i’m finding it harder to feel brave .
don't make me feel like i did this all wrong .
something in your eyes just gives it away .
it’s only in my head , but it’s not gonna change .
hit me up anytime you want .
maybe you could show me another way out .
we should go before i change my mind .
i know you’ve seen it but you’re not replying .
fuck you , anyways .
who am i to hold you back from finding someone who can love you like that ?
tell me what the fuck you’ve done , i’ll wait .
i’d rather stay here and wait .
i think i might slip away .
i’m so scared that all of my worst fears have followed me out here .
i swear it’s all about to change .
tell me it’s hard being you .
i know i’m sounding crazy .
oh god , i need a change of pace .
i’ve got enough friends , nobody else needs to know my name .
i don’t think you realize just what you do to me .
i can’t help but overanalyze .
you think you can demand respect ?
i’m mad at myself .
you did this to yourself .
i know you’re probably over it , but i’m not there at all .
i really wanna get away for the weekend .
i’m tired and i’m fucked up .
you don’t know what i’m feeling .
standing here , i know i’m home .
quotes that broke me starters
feel free to adjust pronouns / names as needed !
quotes taken from random sources or tiktok. i claim no ownership whatsoever.
❛ i’m supposed to be the one who protects you from monsters. i’m not supposed to be one. ❜
❛ if i could make a deal with god, and i’d get him to swap our places. ❜
❛ no one heard our screams for a long time. ❜
❛ i know so many last words. but i’ll never know hers. ❜
❛ there is a home for every departed thing. ❜
❛ it reminded me that i will never truly know you. ❜
❛ i also buried a part of myself alongside them. ❜
❛ after you died i could no longer hold a funeral. so my life became the funeral. ❜
❛ you don’t have to be awake to cry. ❜
❛ forgive me, for all the things i did. but mostly the things i didn’t do. ❜
❛ the human eye is the loneliest creation of all. ❜
❛ fairness is for happy people. ❜
❛ the things we lost will always be heavier than the things that stayed. ❜
❛ perhaps it is the greater grief, to remain on the earth when another is gone. ❜
❛ you stain the pages with yourself. ❜
❛ tears will not wash away the sorrow. ❜
❛ beautiful things grow a certain height and then they fall and fade off. ❜
❛ who in all these centuries has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most? ❜
❛ i have scars on my hands from touching certain people ❜
❛ despite everything, i believe that people are really good at heart. ❜
❛ you tried to change, didn’t you? ❜
❛ you can’t make homes out of people. someone should have taught you that. ❜
❛ i hid my deepest feelings so well, i forgot where i placed them. ❜
❛ we have no scar to show for happiness. we learn so little from peace. ❜
❛ i didn’t leave because i stopped loving you. i left because the longer i stayed, the less i loved myself. ❜
❛ at every moment in our life, we have one foot in a fairytale & the other in the abyss. ❜
❛ there are too many sad eyes on happy faces. ❜
❛ it’s strange, i felt less lonely when i didn’t know you. ❜
❛ things change, friends leave. life doesn’t stop for anybody. ❜
❛ it takes a lifetime to die, and no time at all. ❜
❛ i am deathly afraid of almosts. of coming close to what i want and then falling just a little short. ❜
❛ i felt your absence. ❜
❛ what do we do now, now that we are happy? ❜
❛ you honestly thought anybody would love you? purely and truly love you? ❜
❛ don’t stop looking. he deserves to know someone saw his end, that someone noticed him. ❜
❛ i can bear my pain so long as it has meaning. ❜
❛ i dont have a single friend - not one. ❜
❛ i’ve had more than enough pain in my life, what’s a little more going to do? ❜
❛ it would have been you if i met you first. ❜
❛ i really thought he was going to be my forever. ❜
❛ maybe in the next life it would work. ❜
❛ in spite of everything, you’re still you. ❜
❛ the dead have it easy. ❜
❛ there’s an ocean of silence between us, and I’m drowning. ❜
❛ there have been countless times in my life when i thought i’d be better off dead. ❜
❛ what on earth… have i become? ❜
❛ don’t look at me! i don’t … i don’t want you seeing me like this. ❜
❛ i wish i could’ve been like you. ❜
❛ your fate was sweeping you away, like a flood. ❜
❛ the future should know the mistakes we made. ❜
❛ of course you have. you feel guilt. you want redemption. ❜
❛ i’m here because you can’t accept what you’ve done. it broke you. ❜
❛ even now, after all you’ve done, you can still go home. lucky you . ❜
❛ you’re all that’s left, and we can’t live this lie forever. ❜
❛ prometheus gave us light, and warmth, and eternal damnation. ❜
❛ take a gamble that love exists, and do a loving act. ❜
❛ i know i ruined your life. i suffer for it every day. ❜
❛ don’t let yourself get killed for… for pride. i’ve seen it kill too many folk. ❜
❛ you and me, we ain’t decent… but those folk… they were. ❜
❛ we’re more ghosts than people. ❜
❛ despite my best efforts to the contrary… it turns out i’ve won. ❜
❛ i gave you all i had … i did. ❜
❛ this whole time, I’ve blamed myself for that decision. ❜
❛ do you think even the worst person can change…? That everybody can be a good person, if they just try? ❜
❛ i don’t want to break their hearts all over again. it’s better if they never see me. ❜
❛ please leave me alone. i can’t come back. i just … can’t, okay? ❜
❛ no matter the struggles or hardships you faced… you strived to do the right thing, you refused to hurt anyone. ❜
❛ people like you don’t ever want to be happy. ❜
❛ i don’t want to let go. i’m not ready to say goodbye yet. ❜
has redrawn my Osial
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@csial said: [ fix ] sender gently fixes receiver's hair ( neuvilliette )
"How does this look? I tried to follow your instructions and remember how the people were wearing it on the streets, but it is quite different from Fontainian fashion." But of course, for all the Iudex's worries about failing to appropriately don traditional Liyuen clothing, the attire is as impeccably put on as if he had already worn it a million times before. His attention to detail had committed it all to memory, and meticulous fingers had worked every fold of blue and white silk and linen until all had fallen perfectly into place. Surely no one would think of blaming him for his perfectionism, however: it will, after all, be his first official participation in the festivities, and the company he will be keeping deserves the respect demonstrated by wearing the hanfu appropriately.
But it does seem Osial has little criticism indeed, for it is not to his clothes that his hands rise, but to his hair; prompting the dragon of water to look up and seek cerulean eyes that are entirely focused on adjusting the sovereign's coiffure, adjusted to local custom for the occasion. And Neuvillette would have to call himself blind, if he said he did not notice the little, subtly mischievous smile hinted at the corner of his companion's lips. Ah. He is having fun with this, isn't he. "I will take this as a confirmation I do not need to change again. Or is it that the result is so poorly to your taste that you would rather fiddle with my hairpin instead?" It is rare for the Iudex to tease - and if accused, he shall blame it on Osial's influence. There is no other in this upended world capable of stirring the pride and confidence of a sovereign claiming his due.
That, and Neuvillette always takes great pleasure in hearing the low, subtle chuckle such reactions never seem to fail to elicit in his old, faithful, tempestuous companion.
Osial's hand has fixed the hairpin in its place, but makes little haste to move away from strands of snow white hair - and Neuvillette does nothing to shake him away. The pendant Osial had gifted him on his chosen day sits upon his chest, glistening in the light of the myriad of lanterns beginning to rise in the skies of Liyue. Today, it is his turn to offer him a gift of equal sentimental value in return. "I believe it is your chosen day, today. Clever of you to choose a day of celebration. And of course, I did not come to your nation for the occasion empty-handed." From the folds of his attire, Neuvillette pulls a small wooden box, engraved with nacre. Inside rests a pendant, similar to the one Osial had gifted him, but the material is different. It sings a song of the sea, one that only beings such as they could ever hope to hear; one very particular sea, a few droplets of the primordial sea condensed and crystallised into this present. A small fraction of the heart of Fontaine, of Teyvat; of the original god of life who had once ruled over all waters when now stood before him in the guise of a man.
In the language of a sovereign, there could be no more eloquent gift, either.
But that is not all; the sovereign's hand rises, fingertips grazing at Osial's temple, and an image forms in their minds both, image and sensation alike; a current, flowing freely in the depths of Fontaine's waters. And, under the sovereign's command, something in the water changes - a connection established, an authority granted. Osial may have no domain in Fontaine like he does in Liyue, but from now on, this part of his kingdom will be his to claim. Tied to his being and soul, for as long as he will accept it. "Many happy returns, o Overlord of the Vortex." Neuvillette smiles, hand lingering at the side of his companion's face. "Now, let us go and enjoy your first true Lantern Rite... and see what you may find to grumble about in the ways the humans orchestrate their celebrations."
" burn his favorite palace down. " Sem to Osial ( fxtuii ) :3
There is the curl of his lip into something twisted at the sound of that odious cat, serpentine heads slithering from beneath his braid as skin dyes a vivid shade of blue. It had been long enough he had begun to hope to a miniscule degree that perhaps his drowning had finally bore fruition, that the creature's return pass to the living had finally been severed, and yet it was not to be.
Eventually he turns to gaze upon the other, his expression showing his derision clear, and he scoffs. "He has not palaces nor guilded halls, and were it something I would enact, my choice of method would be to drown them." Evidently. Why would he call to fire when his element was its opposite?
❛ everything that defines me is nothing that i am. ❜ (slaps a human-shaped dragon having an identity crisis on osial's desk)
"No?" Osial drags his gaze away from the streets below and the bustle of humanity to look across at his companion at his desk, buried as he always is in the chains of his responsibilities, forged of his own making yet present all the same. Instead it comes to settle upon the sovereign his gaze one of unfathomable depths, studying for something unseen before it clears with a shift of the head to the side, the movement fluid. "Are you not the Iudex of Fontaine? The Sovereign of these waters? The one capable of bestowing power to those children of hydro you choose to offer a boon?"
He slips across the room like a lazily rolling wave, coming to rest at the edge of Neuvillette's desk. Audacious fingers stretch across to pluck the pen from his hand, casting it aside with little regard, weaving between until his grip is clasped. A tug will encourage Neuvillette from his seat, to return with him to the window, to the sight of the crowds and in the distance the deep blue. "Is this not all yours? Your kingdom as sovereign? Does that court room you hold not speak of your authority? Do the waves we dance in not bow to your whim?"
He raises their joint hands till they sit within their periphery and adapts his vessel letting skin stain blue and white markings surface till the skin itself is but a transparent hue for the rolling blue beneath. He does not hold it long, returning his arm to the blue stain and then the hue of the sands of Guyun. "We hide to adapt but we are still what we are. Am I any less a being of hydro because I take human form and play at the mortal life? Am I still but the monster that razed Liyue alone because the tale lingers upon Liyuen's tongue?"
He turns then, ceasing his direct questions that pierce the veil of questioning posed before him, so that their gazes meet once more, ancient eyes shining with a determination not so easily roused though for what he does not say. "All that defines you is but part of who you are. And if you wish for something other, seize it. You of all people have more than the right to take, have given enough to justify the want. Do not waste time in lamenting or chasing something that you are not. I spent too many years on that path."
Rare is it that he admits aloud so brazenly that perhaps, chasing the archon title of Liyue had been a mistake all along, but to Neuvillette he can admit his folly.
YOU CAN BARELY TAKE MUCH MORE .
a collection of sentence starters taken from the warning's album 'queen of the murder scene' . edited to fit rp needs , adjust pronouns as necessary , note that there are spanish sentences ! warnings for darker themes ,
❛ come on in , walk this way , ❜
❛ in the end , everything just turns back into dust , ❜
❛ we shall start again , ❜
❛ where are you going ? ❜
❛ i don't seek right or wrong , ❜
❛ i seek the truth found in death , ❜
❛ is it something that is worth losing ? ❜
❛ la salvación es algo que se gana , ❜
❛ i don't know what it is that you do , ❜
❛ i know love shows in mysterious ways , ❜
❛ my screaming makes no sound , ❜
❛ i can't always be there to stop all the bleeding , ❜
❛ there's more to it than just wishing to be found , ❜
❛ you are my fantasy , ❜
❛ you bemuse my soul , ❜
❛ i am afraid to see what's become of me , ❜
❛ i just want to hold your hand , ❜
❛ time won't take the pain away , ❜
❛ i'll do anything to make it happen , ❜
❛ tell me your secrets , what are you hiding ? ❜
❛ please understand that i am not lying , ❜
❛ my heart is true , & it beats for you , ❜
❛ what is it i need to change for you to love me back ? ❜
❛ was it something i said ? ❜
❛ i want to kill all the love that's for you so only mine remains , ❜
❛ hold me like you really love me , tell me that you do , ❜
❛ i'm obsessed with what we both could be , ❜
❛ yes , or no , whichever , i'll have you someday , i'll have you forever . ❜
❛ why don't you know that you are mine ? ❜
❛ i want you to love me , to touch me , ❜
❛ tell me what i must do to atone for what i did to your soul , ❜
❛ don't reject the darkness that is in your eyes , ❜
❛ i'll show you what it means to be so devoted , ❜
❛ you have nothing left but this body you control , ❜
❛ have you quenched the hunger that was still dormant inside ? ❜
❛ you will never get to walk away from all the horrors , ❜
❛ you're an innocent sinner , a guilty saint above us all , ❜
❛ you'll never live until you die , ❜
❛ i'm plucking roses but keeping the thorns , ❜
❛ i found out that dull knives cut better , ❜
❛ you don't want to understand what it's like to have blood on your hands , ❜
❛ i can't be controlled by anything , but let's see you try , ❜
❛ give me something worth living for , ❜
❛ my sanity's gone & my morals are wrong , ❜
❛ better drop that gun while you still have a chance , ❜
❛ be proud of your pride & the things that you hide , ❜
❛ after this , there'll be nothing to feel anymore , ❜
❛ i'll be there to pull you under , ❜
❛ you can't escape your fate , ❜
❛ you went through hell , you'll go through it again , ❜
❛ there's no escape , ❜
❛ i know it was wrong , but there's nothing to be done , ❜
❛ i won't forgive myself because pity doesn't help anymore , ❜
❛ with bloodstained hands , i make amends , ❜
❛ it's a little too late to start over again , ❜
❛ the memories haunt me every night when i'm lying in bed , ❜
❛ oh what have i done ? ❜
in the night, your loneliness crushes you, as if the sky itself has swooped down to smother you in its cold arms. for the first time since i can remember, i don’t feel alone. because of you. (two in one, from neuvillette)
The feeling of loneliness is one of the greatest tragedies one can bear. He remembers it well, sweeping him into a cold embrace as he languished beneath the depths, held in place yet unable to reach any at all, restricted as he was by the spears of Morax and his waning powers. The vice it held upon his heart had been agonising, festering and it was only the embers of anger that had allowed him to simmer in outrage rather than tumble down into despair, though the notion often dragged icy fingertips beneath his chin.
So as the hydro sovereign claims a similar feeling, Osial cannot help but allow his hand to find Neuvillette's own digits curling unbidden until there is no space between their palms nor their fingers, his thumb tracing tenderly against soft skin.
"Were it within my power I would wash away all sense of isolation from your very frame until your heart only knew the joys of companionship," he offers quietly, glad that in their shared quietude here in the open there is no cause to be restrictive with words, nor too cautious with gesture. Within the confines of the city he must heed caution, restrain the impulse to offer comfort when the other's brow furrows, a feat that grows more impossible by the day with how his heart swells, emotion coming in waves, begging for a little more each time.
It is a terrifying feeling, the way his affection fills him, it takes all his effort to not allow it to brim over. Should he touch the waters here, he fears that he would overwhelm the sovereign with what lies beneath his still surface. Like the ocean itself he encompasses far more than bleeds through, far more even that that which seeps through the cracks unbidden.
"I am glad that now, in the very least, I can offer you a reprieve from loneliness' cold touch." His thumb stills against Neuvillette's hand, but he makes no effort to detach, simply staring down at their joined hands, lost in his own thoughts. Wondering if perhaps he had been smarter, better, stronger, he might have been have been able to do more sooner to ease the sovereign's isolation. It is a cruel world to wander alone.
Impulse coaxes him then, raising their joint hands until he can press lips to a gloved knuckle in a sworn oath, a promise to himself and to Neuvillette, that he will no longer allow loneliness to take a hold of them. He need not voice it allowed, it is there on his lips as his lids descend over his cerulean hues briefly, there in the look he gives the other as his lids rise once more.
"Together we can stave off the cold embrace and ease the burden of the skies, for your company is the greatest gift you have given me... It is only right I should attempt to do the same."
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spies his wife kissing furina... good. Perhaps he gets a turn to tease now.
EMOTIONALLY CHARGED SENTENCES STARTERS
❝ i need you. don’t you get that? ❞
❝ i’m right here. i’m always here right in front of you but you never see me! ❞
❝ you’re my person. ❞
❝ no, i don’t wanna have to talk to anyone else right now. i just want you. ❞
❝ i know you’re busy and i don’t want to bother you i just— can i just sit here with you while you work? ❞
❝ are we okay? ❞
❝ honestly, i’m always there. in my head. the scars on my body might’ve healed but i never really walked away from it. ❞
❝ do you want me to make the others leave? or we could go, get some fresh air. ❞
❝ look i’m not coddling you, i’m just trying to help. i wanna take care of you cause i, you know— care about you. ❞
❝ alright, here’s your coffee. are you ready to talk or should i find something to ramble about for a few minutes? ❞
❝ eventually, you just gotta learn to let go of the past. it’s always gonna hurt, but you can choose when to start focusing on something other than the pain. ❞
❝ hey, just breathe. look at me— look at me. in and out. breathe with me okay? ❞
❝ keep your eyes on me— just focus on me. we’re gonna be okay. ❞
❝ no, i’m not okay. nothing is okay. it never is. but that’s just how i function most days. so i’ll be fine. ❞
❝ i’m not gonna pretend anymore. i’m still fucked up from it all and i don’t know when it gets better. ❞
❝ if you keep waiting until you’re done ‘working on yourself’ before you let yourself be with the person you love, you’re never gonna be with them. and they’ll find someone else who is brave enough to give them a chance to love them exactly how they already are. ❞
❝ why do you stick around? what is it you think you see in me? ❞
❝ not everything needs an explanation. i care about you. i don’t have to sit here and figure out why. i just do. so maybe you should try just accepting it too. ❞
❝ i don’t need your permission to fall in love with you. you don’t gotta love me back, but it isn’t gonna stop me from being here when you need someone. ❞
❝ you love me too much. i know how that sounds but— fucking hell. you shouldn’t care that much about someone like me. ❞
❝ i don’t care if loving you hurts me. the world already has enough pain to dole out for no reason, at least i’ll have gotten these scars from something beautiful. ❞
❝ if people can hate for no reason, than i can love for no reason too. ❞
❝ one day you’re gonna need me and i’m not gonna be there to fix it. ❞
❝ no, i can’t fix everything for you this time. it’s your mess. clean it up. ❞
❝ i dunno who taught you that love comes with conditions and limitations, but mine doesn’t. not when it’s you. ❞
❝ i don’t know how to ask for help i just— i’ve never had anyone to ask for help from before. so…this is me trying i guess. i need it and i’m afraid to ask for it. that’s the best i can do. ❞
