System Failure- Test Writing
Before reading, please understand that I have been working out the kinks of the story and have been heavily debating on finishing it. Not because it is a challenge, but I fear I am changing too much of the orignal story to fit the mold better of what I had in mind. Key points of the game "Mouthwash" are too major that I had not added into the draft nor had planned to.
This is just a test to see how you guys react to it (this is just the beginning of the writing so nothing interesting is going on). I am doing this due to the lack of storries I have posted but I fear I will not complete this little project due to the massive changes I am doing from the original idea. I do not want to rewrite the game or write teh fanfiction word by word but i feel that there are too many major factors that I have taken out to make it fair.
4 long months with depleting resources. Food wasntā¦too much of a problem, but the medicine was. Parts of the carrier was still unfunctional due to the safety foam to keep as much oxygen in the ship as possible. Which was lucky in itself.Ā
The captain, Raimundo, was decommissioned. He was the one person that took the front of the burns and damage from the crash. A crash he had caused. His hands and most of his legs were burned off, or decomposed off in the past four months. His lips and eyelids were burned off as well, leaving exposed skin and nerves. He couldnāt really speak, and if he could, it was with pain. The pain medicine that was helping in keeping him alive was running low, and Kimiko, the nurse, was worried about hurting him while giving it to him; having to force the pills down his throat and make him swallow.
The lead maintenance, Chase, showed his disdain about the whole thing from the start. Ever since Raimundo had informed them that this last cargo delivery would be the last, Chaseās āfriendlyā nature towards his coworkers went to hell. He became more bitter and hostile. He didnāt particularly like hearing Kimiko whine with anxiety about Raimundos condition, and even more when she talked about their own situation. He didnāt isolate himself and very vocally told his anger towards the crew. Especially the two captains. He blamed them for the crash. They were the only ones who were in the cockpit when the direction was moved off course.Ā
Omi, a much younger man, was to learn from Chase. He was new to the job and the youngest of the group. His parents helped him get the job, and tough he was qualified, he was still naive. The poor boy was trying to make light of the situation but Chase wasnāt having it. It seemed Chaseās patience with Omi was slim and never existing.Ā
The co-captian had tried to take charge and responsibility of the crew and the crash. Jack had shown his own grudge against Raimundo. But he tried to keep a level head, remaining calm and collected for his crew. Jack though, wasnāt doing the best. Sometimes his behavior seemed to make things more tense. He and Chase never really got along, especially with Chaseās more hostile attitude.Ā
But never the less, they were going to make it. They had to. Until rescue came, it was just them.Ā
Jack sighed again. It was another day. The air felt worse than yesterday, even though he knows the air quality hasnāt changed. Jack just wasnāt finding any more joy in waking up anymore. Day by day, his hope for rescue or atleast a say without drama was depleting.Ā
He stood up and got dressed. There was already a knock at his door and he wanted to ram his head into the wall. He could barely stand the crew now; hell, he felt like heād have better time with the dying man who tried to kill everyone with the crash.Ā
Jack opened the door. Kimiko greeted him a soft smile, but she was still filled with anxiety. He eye were dark, tired. She hasnāt been sleeping well.Ā
āRaimundo is awakeā¦ā Kimiko said softly. He already knew what she wanted to ask.
āCan youā¦help me give him his meds? I justā¦I canāt stand hearing himā¦ā
This is becoming more frequent. But with how tired she looks, Jack gives into empathy. āIāll give them to him. Donāt worry about itā¦ā
With the door open, the moaning of Raimundo was now heard. Jack had stopped feeling bad a couple months ago. He had gotten so used to the pained moans that they might as well be a radio. They only got louder when Jack made his way towards the medbay. Kimiko was close to follow.Ā
When Jack got inside, he glanced towards the pain meds. āWeāre almost outā¦ā Kimiko said.Ā
āDonāt you have access to more?ā Jack asked, grabbing a hand full of pills and walking to Raimundo.Ā
His eyeā¦that fucking eyeā¦
āThe foam blocked the medical panel where the others areā¦Chase wonāt let me try and get it because heās worried Iāll hit the wall and Iāll breach it.ā
Jack sighed, āIāll tlak to himā
He opened Raimundos mouth.Ā
Putting the pills in, he forced the pills to be swallowed. Some of it was forced to be chewd up by the exposed teeth.Ā
Kimiko excused herself when Raimundo began to choke on the pills. The lack of drink was making it worse. Jack had maneavured the throat and mouth to take the pills until the choking noises had stopped. The pills were down.
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