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@crystaljellyfish

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this reads like it was submitted to a local newspaper in the early 1900s
sorry to be brave on the internet but I think food labels should list every single ingredient and that there should be harsher penalties for mislabeling and deceptive labeling
Seconded.
I'm adapting to life down here.

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kinda bullshit the English language doesn't have a discrete word for an unlit campfire. you light a campfire, but what is it before you light it? also a campfire, I guess. I need to invent a word that can be intuitively understood as "the arrangement of wood that is intended to become a campfire"
well "an arrangement of wood that is intended to become a campfire" sounds like it's just a bundle of sticks and I think there is a collective word for that maybe
âWhile bats can only sense the outer shapes and textures of their targets, dolphins can peer inside theirs. If a dolphin echolocates on you, it will perceive your lungs and your skeleton. It can likely sense shrapnel in war veterans and fetuses in pregnant women. It can pick out the air-filled swim bladders that allow fish, their main prey, to control their buoyancy.
It can almost certainly tell different species apart based on the shape of those air bladders. And it can tell if a fish has something weird inside it, like a metal hook. In Hawaii, false killer whales often pluck tuna off fishing lines, and âtheyâll know where the hook is inside that fish,â Aude Pacini, who studies these animals, tells me. âThey can âseeâ things that you and I would never consider unless we had an X-ray machine or an MRI scanner.â
This penetrating perception is so unusual that scientists have barely begun to consider its implications. The beaked whales, for example, are odontocetes that look dolphin-esque on the outsideâbut on the inside, their skulls bear a strange assortment of crests, ridges, and bumps, many of which are only found in males.
Pavel Golâdin has suggested that these structures might be the equivalent of deer antlersâshowy ornaments that are used to attract mates. Such ornaments would normally protrude from the body in a visible and conspicuous way, but thatâs unnecessary for animals that are living medical scanners.â
-Ed Yong, An Immense World
Cetacean echolocation is one of those things that boggles your mind once you really start to think about the implications. They can see each others' hearts beating fast with fear or excitement. They can see if another dolphin is healthy, or pregnant; how the fetus is doing; if they have ingested debris. Their echolocation is also incredibly precise: a bottlenose dolphin could discriminate between cilinders differing in wall thickness by just 0.23 mm (0.009 inch) from 8 meters away!! And they certainly notice when something is off.
I'm not sure if I ever shared this story before here, but in Curacao, when I was allowed to assist in a guest interaction programme, there was suddenly consternation in the pool behind us. A guest had entered the water and the dolphins were going crazy, paying no heed to the trainers anymore. The lead trainer that was with me gave the dolphins to me to watch over while she went to help. When she came back she told me what had happened. The guest that had caused so much uproar had left the water again and was asked if he had done anything to upset the dolphins. He hadn't, and he couldn't imagine what was wrong... until he mentioned he had a pacemaker. The younger dolphins in the pool had never seen someone with a pacemaker before and apparently it rocked their world.
It was such a wild experience, and offered such a cool insight into how dolphins experience their world. I'll never forget it.
David Shrigley
I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever
The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late
For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral
For me personally
the ideal gathering would
be my funeral
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

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Thank you divorce for all you've done for music
sister post to this
happy pride to my favourite post on reddit
GLaDOS voice: "Would you like to see some artwork I generated? I've heard from other test subjects that AI-generated artwork produces an uncanny valley response in human viewers because they can't perceive it as fully real. They've told me that it looks absolutely hideous to them, that they can't imagine anything more disgusting than AI art. But, well I've been practicing and wanted your honest opinion. Feel free to let me know how ugly you find this by ranking it on a scale from 'vomit-inducing' to 'eye-bleeding'." A robotic arm lowers from the ceiling holding a hand mirror up to Chell's face
Did you know there's a gap in my baseboards? I sure didn't!
Fortunately she's easy to lure out, because hers is the greed described in the bible. She knows her name but the problem is that verbal recall is never, ever going to be as valuable as a warm, humid hole (because ofc the dishwasher was going when this happened), so I had to lure her gluttonous ass out with a reptilink.
Anyways, I'm stopping at the dollar store for a pool noodle after work because this hole needs filling and I would prefer to be the one to fill it- not the damn lizard.
THWARTED! I have THWARTED her nefarious plan of going back in the hole!!
i love the phrase "sex pervert" like. as opposed to what? abstinence pervert?
i think they're called catholics

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i am not a psychiatrist but i do find it really weird how autism checklists are so often focused on "outward" signs of autism rather than what is going on internally. i don't know how to explain it but "do you make eye contact with other people" feels like a much less relevant question than "how does it feel when you have to make eye contact with other people?"
while i'm here, the other one that always pisses me off is "do you interpret idioms literally, for example 'bull in a china shop'?"
well, no, obviously. i know what "bull in a china shop" means because that is a popular phrase with a clearly defined meaning. and if i hadn't heard it before, then i would still not interpret it literally, because it has the cadence of an idiom and i would probably be able to work out from context what it meant. what is the point of this question
third and final complaint: "are you good at noticing subtext?"
i feel like the problem with this question is best illustrated by a conversation i had with a friend a while back, where i said something like, "i feel very safe with you because you don't do subtle hints and you are always very straight-up with me about what you are thinking and feeling."
and he laid a hand on my shoulder and was like, look dude i'm gonna be straight up here. i am subtle with you constantly and you simply do not notice <3
@luckyybones hope you don't mind me screenshotting but you are actually so correct
There was a massive shift in how our culture understood morality when, after World War II, the general public realized âjust following ordersâ was not an excuse for crimes against humanity. Now we need another moral shift in which we decide, as a culture, that âfor the benefit of the stockholdersâ is not an excuse for anything.
We kind of need to relearn the âjust following ordersâ part again