Around Late September i decided to make a discord private server, where me and my friends can discuss about the situation, I wanted to invite few more, to let others be aware of chel and to be safe in case of meeting him on conventions. i invited a person from twitter and thought that they were trustworthy, i let my gullible get to me and let them stay for three months.
We've discussed a lot, we've discussed our frustrations, our thoughts, what we inform to each other, to let other members know and etc. all conversations were based on thoughts, facts, words from his ex friends and what we've read. there were lines that were crossed but we only discussed about her and less about him.
yesterday is where i deleted the server for good, and had a huge panic attack and mental breakdown after this person name "Syndi" had reported to the mods and made my friends and other people (who were not a part of it) get kicked out or blocked and had possibly send every message that's on the server to the mods.
I blamed myself for everything about this, No we did not stalk him, no we did not violate his privacy at all (we never went too far as everything we discuss was about public posts of hers) I don't know what he talk about in his latest stream but i assure that were not the group he's talking about. we only talked about chel, we only discussed about her and her history and prayed and hoped for them to leave.
On the age lying, I am not lying about my age. who ever is spreading that I'm a minor lying about my age to fit in is insane, I am 18. I am not "16" or "15" as you claimed to be.
on "minor discussing nsfw with adults" i would never discuss NSFW with my adult friends, No NSFW topic was brought up, nobody groomed me. my friends and i have our own boundaries and we won't be crossing it, even if NSFW has stirred in the conversation i will never interact with it for their safety and mine.
on "minor writing NSFW fanfic" please, I've discussed about this again months ago, everything I've written were fiction, and some of my fics aren't that much NSFW (don't tell me you never wrote NSFW when you were a minor)
on "tracking Damien's whereabouts and asking con attendees" I was not part of that and that wasn't discussed on my server, yes there was a member asking about a fan who met Damien but that was it, we never tracked Damien's whereabouts (I don't think we even have the knowledge to do that at all — or the time to waste) who ever has done that, it's not me nor my friends.
I'm deeply upset to myself and to Syndi. I trusted you and defended you even, and all you did is take advantage of my trust, I shouldn't had made that server in the first place, I've wasted my time and care for nothing at all towards you. it really hurts that i even trusted you.
I'm sorry to everyone, I'm sorry for ruining your trust, i will not turn my back on this, this is my responsibility and i am sorry. please don't send dead threats or harassment towards others, be mad at me as its my fault for everything about this.
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