mia

ׂ╰┈➤ Start cooking more of your meals at home. Incorporate more healthy ingredients in your meals and/or disguise them in delicious recipes!

ׂ╰┈➤ Start working out regularly, at the gym, in the park or just in your bedroom. Any form of activity counts!!

ׂ╰┈➤ Start drinking more water!!!

ׂ╰┈➤ Establish an easy morning and evening routine that you can do everyday

ׂ╰┈➤ Never skip skincare or basic hygiene like showering or brushing your teeth

ׂ╰┈➤ Fix your sleep schedule and sleep 7-9 hours a night

ׂ╰┈➤ Choose to spend less time on your phone and more time outside/with family and friends.

ׂ╰┈➤ Uninstall harmful social media apps

ׂ╰┈➤ Start being productive everyday – read, journal or practice your hobbies more often!

ׂ╰┈➤ Take yourself on solo dates! Everybody underestimates this so much, but I promise it makes such a difference in your mood. Go to the spa or salon, take sunset walks, read at the corner cafe while enjoying a warm pastry!!

ׂ╰┈➤ Start romanticising your life! Candle lit dinners with your family, spa and rest days, buying flowers or that cute dress or doing face masks while reading at night could make such a great difference!!

ׂ╰┈➤ Start complimenting people more often and saying kind things to strangers!

ׂ╰┈➤ Clear out your wardrobe! Find your desired style and get some cute key pieces that go well with anything. Donate old clothes that you aren't wearing anymore!

ׂ╰┈➤ Of course, looks ARE NOT everything in life, but you should try to look as put together as possible in every situation. Use clothes and hairstyles that fit you well, wear perfume, jewelery and accessories, try to have well maintained nails and skin

ׂ╰┈➤ Become well organised by always preparing for a situation ahead of time

ׂ╰┈➤ Experiment with cooking or baking, with your make up/hairstyle, and try out new places or hobbies too!

ׂ╰┈➤ Stop worrying about other people and their opinions. Cut out all the negativity in your life, they might be ruining your progress!

ׂ╰┈➤ Try to become more confident each day, being confident makes the biggest difference in your life of them all!

Hiya Femi Girlies, it's been a while! Life has been crazy for me as a Software Engineer but I have calmed things down and I am ready to be giving advice again! So, let's get started!

It’s easy to lose yourself — not in big, dramatic ways, but in the small, everyday moments. The quiet ways you adjust your tone, soften your opinions, or downplay your interests just to fit into spaces that were never made for you. Most of us do it without realizing. We perform. We adapt. And eventually, it starts to feel normal — until one day, it doesn’t. When your friendships feel shallow, your goals lose clarity, and even your wins don’t feel like yours — that’s your cue to come home to yourself.

That’s what this new series is about. No More Pretending You’re Lost — You Know Who You Are is a four-part guide for those who are done performing, done people-pleasing, and done playing small. Over the next few posts, we’ll explore what it means to stop performing, remember who you are beneath all the noise, reinvent yourself without apology, and take back the director’s chair in your own life!

This isn’t about becoming someone new; it’s about returning to the person you’ve always been.

Let’s start where most of us are right now — caught in the act of performing without even realizing it.

sit in the sun without anything to do, feel the heat of the rays hit your skin, realize that this sunlight has travelled a very long way to reach you

walk around barefoot and try to feel as much of the ground under your feet as you can, notice every rock and blade of grass

sit quietly for a while and notice the touch of breath in your nostrils, feel how the air gets cooler as you inhale and warmer as you exhale

drive around aimlessly and blast some of your favorite songs, scream/sing along to them and feel the vibrations of your favorite lyrics as they change the air in your throat and around you, feel that the music is healing you from the inside out

stay away from alcohol or drugs for a few days, try to be as aware and present as you can in every moment, stop trying to numb or dull your senses

eat a few meals without any distractions, notice every bite and taste every flavor that covers your tongue, be grateful for it all

ׂ╰┈➤ Start cooking more of your meals at home. Incorporate more healthy ingredients in your meals and/or disguise them in delicious recipes!

ׂ╰┈➤ Start working out regularly, at the gym, in the park or just in your bedroom. Any form of activity counts!!

ׂ╰┈➤ Start drinking more water!!!

ׂ╰┈➤ Establish an easy morning and evening routine that you can do everyday

ׂ╰┈➤ Never skip skincare or basic hygiene like showering or brushing your teeth

ׂ╰┈➤ Fix your sleep schedule and sleep 7-9 hours a night

ׂ╰┈➤ Choose to spend less time on your phone and more time outside/with family and friends.

ׂ╰┈➤ Uninstall harmful social media apps

ׂ╰┈➤ Start being productive everyday – read, journal or practice your hobbies more often!

ׂ╰┈➤ Take yourself on solo dates! Everybody underestimates this so much, but I promise it makes such a difference in your mood. Go to the spa or salon, take sunset walks, read at the corner cafe while enjoying a warm pastry!!

ׂ╰┈➤ Start romanticising your life! Candle lit dinners with your family, spa and rest days, buying flowers or that cute dress or doing face masks while reading at night could make such a great difference!!

ׂ╰┈➤ Start complimenting people more often and saying kind things to strangers!

ׂ╰┈➤ Clear out your wardrobe! Find your desired style and get some cute key pieces that go well with anything. Donate old clothes that you aren't wearing anymore!

ׂ╰┈➤ Of course, looks ARE NOT everything in life, but you should try to look as put together as possible in every situation. Use clothes and hairstyles that fit you well, wear perfume, jewelery and accessories, try to have well maintained nails and skin

ׂ╰┈➤ Become well organised by always preparing for a situation ahead of time

ׂ╰┈➤ Experiment with cooking or baking, with your make up/hairstyle, and try out new places or hobbies too!

ׂ╰┈➤ Stop worrying about other people and their opinions. Cut out all the negativity in your life, they might be ruining your progress!

ׂ╰┈➤ Try to become more confident each day, being confident makes the biggest difference in your life of them all!

→ journal out who you want to be in 2025:

1. What does she look like? (Physical appearance, style)

2. How does she dress on a typical day?

3. What does she like ?

4. What doesn't she like?

5. What is her behavior like in different situations?

6. (Social interactions, demeanor)

7. How does she prefer to be treated by others? (Expectations from relationships)

8. How does she treat people around her? (Interpersonal relationships, kindness)

9. What does her daily routine entail? (Activities, schedule)

10. At what time does she usually go to bed? (Sleeping habits)

11. When does she wake up in the morning? (Morning routine)

12. What are her hobbies and interests? (Leisure activities)

13. What is her profession or occupation? (Career, job responsibilities)

14. What are her long-term goals and aspirations? (Career ambitions, personal achievements)

15. How does she handle stress or challenges? (Coping mechanisms, problem-solving approach)

16. What type of books does she enjoy? (Cultural preferences)

17. How does she maintain her physical and mental well-being? (Health and self-care routines)

18. Does she have any specific dietary preferences or restrictions? (Food choices)

19. Who are her closest friends, and what are her relationships like with them?(Friendship dynamics)

20. How does she navigate conflicts or disagreements? (Communication style, conflict resolution)

21. What values and principles guide her decision-making? (Personal ethics)

feel free to join me in this. I'm going to try to post every day about how I did <3

- get at least 7 consecutive hours of sleep. I've found if I go to sleep and then wake up back for a couple hours and then finish the 8 hours I feel I incredibly unrested. I keep myself accountable by using pokemon sleep which has a great alarm, so I'm looking forward to trying this instead

- read or listen to an audiobook for 30 minutes. literacy is a muscle, and using it is important, but sometimes I can't just sit down and read a book, and audiobooks are great for when I'm cleaning or cooking or folding laundry

- get sun daily. humans are a lot more like plants than you would think and so it is important to get some sun, even when it's a wintery sun that's cold or when it's a blazing furnace. Since I have some mental health issues and am unable to go outside im going to at least open my curtains, and if possible, crack a window to get some fresh air

- start a hobby you can enjoy. this one can be difficult because a lot of things require some sort of financial investment. for me, my hobbies for these six months is going to be writing and annotating books. but being creative is great for the human mind.

- learn to be comfortable alone. honestly this one will be difficult. personally, I live in a studio. privacy is nothing i experience, butthe little moments where you find yourself escaping with TV playing or music pause it and sit with yourself, how else can you learn to love someone if you avoid them 🥰

- meditate daily. this will be something I struggle with so much, but I'm going to try in the mornings since that's my peak time <3 and that's when I plan on doing a yoga flow during the sunrise

- eat healthy nutritious food. I hate cooking and I hate eating. having autism can make these really difficult for me to do, but I'm really really trying. I started the week before last to work on figuring out what snack foods I can prep, and now i just need to work on planning out some meals.

- positive affirmations everyday. I really struggle to have positive self talk because it feels so awkward and uncomfortable because I've been pessimistic for so long, but I want to change that ^^

- reduce screen time. this is going to be specifically targetting mindless scrolling for me. I have a tiktok account that I use for motivation, same with my tumblr account, and I also read on my phone and use my sleep app that I need to keep open at night.

- practice gratitude. my goal is to at night reflect on the day to try and find the good. I already reflect on my days and pick a mood, but I want to create lists of things i am grateful for, especially while I'm in between jobs.