Cryo Kid

Your mother, Susan, was the first to post on our little sibling registry - whether you know it or not. She was unfortunately greeted with no other postings. She was just a little too early.

Now though, we're pretty sure we have everybody -  4 Brothers, 1 Sister. I don't know if you or your mother ever came back after signing up. I don't know if the system failed us and you never received any notification about new siblings. I don't know if you if you even know about your origins or us. 

If the contact I've had with the brothers and sister are any indication, I bet you're an amazing person. I really wish I could get the opportunity to know you too. 

It could be that maybe you happy with your life, that there's no need for you to connect with us. Maybe you don't consider us family, or you would feel like you're betraying your own family in connecting with us. Maybe you've unfortunately passed on, and the posting was a way for your mother to just let us know you existed. 

I haven’t watched that generation cryo show but the whole premise is really disturbing to me because someday I’ll probably plan on having kids w my wife or girlfriend or whatever and maybe we’d use a sperm bank and it would be so hurtful if my child then decided that they wanted to find their ‘real dad’ or whatever.

Like, no. That person is not your dad they literally just wanked into a cup and froze it? And I would feel so hurt, as though my child didn’t think I was enough of a parent for them, as if I wasn’t inadequate because that child had two mothers? It’s bothering me and the ad is on all the freaking time and I’m just #bit trying to hate or anything but#as a lesbian it seems bad to me

So you're going to dictate your child's choices for them, and deny them access to information, that at the the deepest level, is fundamentally part of them. You got to know where you came from, and regardless of relationship with them [your parents], you still got that information. Your insecurities about being a parent shouldn't be the end-all-be-all for your child. 

I see this rational all the time from people. That love is more important then genetics. If you raise your kid with knowledge and respect regarding his or her own existence, they should, at 18 years old, be able to compartmentalize between "This person is my Dad" and "This person is part of me"; and after 18 years of parenting, you should be able to respect you kid enough to allow them to do this and not feel hurt by it. 

Your kid is going to have some physical features or traits from his or her father, and by saying "Oh, that's not important" is saying a part of your child isn't important. 

It took 23 years for the truth to be told to me. That the man who raised me wasn't my biological father. Everything changed.

I woke up the morning after finding out, and looked in the mirror. For the first time in 23 years, the person looking back, groggy, upset, confused, was a stranger. I never really looked a lot like my parents, but in my 24 years of living, I tried to connect my features to other far-flung relatives. 

Now, I had no clue who I looked like. Maybe I have my Dad's chin, hair, eyes. 

I see a lot of people talk about:

"Oh, but you have parents that love you! They wanted you!"

"They wanted to be anonymous for a reason" and the ilk. 

I'm not looking for another parent, I'm not looking for a new father. I'm looking for myself. I want to be able to look in the mirror and see the complete picture that is me.