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i am of the sincere belief that if ur on ur computer a lot you should visually customize it to high hell and back not just for funsies but also because it has literally made me less depressed before. its kind of like how rearranging your bedroom is good for your brain, yknow. i do stuff like this every few months
Your dialogue is stiff because everyone is being too honest
Great dialogue can come from radical emotional honesty. But in most real conversations, people
dodge questions
answer indirectly
lie (badly)
change the subject
crack jokes to avoid serious answers
lie (convincingly)
say half of what they mean
tell the truth but get so anxious/angry/defensive others now think they're lying
If your dialogue feels unnatural, it might be because everyone is saying exactly what they think, or articulating their thoughts too well. Try letting characters hide things instead.
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throughout your relationship, there were times where atsumu had questioned your love for him.
your expressions seemed almost⌠âsmallerâ than his. your words lacked the sweet sayings that his sentences would often have.
the way youâd glare at him whenever he did something annoying, (did you not find it funny? he only meant well..)
the amount of times youâd tell him to get off of you whenever he would be drenched with sweat after practices, (when all he wanted to do was hug you after a long day!)
or the fact that you get too hot when cuddling and eventually let go of him, (is it so much of a hassle to stay in his hold?)
but the more that atsumu stuck around, the more that he had noticed the details.
the quiet chuckle and relieved smile that youâd silently give after staring at himâindicating that whatever ridiculous thing he did was the first thing to leave a positive impression on your tiresome day.
the way that, even with the amount of times youâve complained about him being âdirtyâ, you were always the first one to throw yourself onto his sweaty figure after every game, hugging him regardless of whether he had won or not.
the light kiss that youâd plant on his forehead whenever you left his hold, purposely not putting too much pressure so as to not wake himâand how youâd slightly panic when heâd grumble to himself even just a little bit.
and if anyone were to tell him that there would be so much more realizations about you and your ways of showing love, he wouldâve felt like less of an idiot in the long run.
so much things became clearer to him.
the way his baby picture was the main picture in your wallet.
the way your onigiri started to âcoincidentallyâ taste exactly how osamuâs didâjust how atsumu liked it.
the way his favourite toothpaste suddenly became your toothpaste after he once commented how he didnât like the taste of your old one.
the way how, when once passing by a room in your house, the sound effects of the video game he had excitedly introduced to you was suddenly being heard, despite the fact that you both had to stop playing the other day because of how bad you were.
and how you were oddly decent at it the next day when you told him you wanted to âtry playing a second timeâ.
honestly? this wasnât even the whole of it. not even close.
if there was ever something atsumu regretted within the course of your relationship, it was the fact that he was once in the belief that it was solely him âputting in the effortâ.
there was never a need to question your love.
not at all, not ever.
and atsumu made it an everyday vow to make sure you would never doubt, either.
â âi love you.â
âeh?â
âwhat? i love you.â
âthat was random.â
âcanât i profess my love?â
âweâre quite literally in an insurance officeâŚ?â
âso?â
ââŚâ
âi love you too.â
made this in honour of the flâs whose display of love is never talked abt by the fandom bc the ml overshadows them đđ˝
guys are u tired of me making atsumu imagines yes or no (donât say yes pleas)
I WANNA WRITE FOR A DIFFERENT CHARACTER SOONđ.. after exams guys trust.
The morning sun filtered through the curtains of your shared apartment with Atsumu, casting a warm glow across the hardwood floors. You had just returned from your morning run when you noticed a sleek black package sitting innocently by your door. The distinct white Chanel logo made your heart skip a beat.
"No way..." you muttered, picking up the package with trembling hands. Just last week, you had casually mentioned how beautiful that new Chanel collection was while window shopping with Atsumu. You specifically remembered telling him, "It's gorgeous, but please don't even think about it. I'm happy with my regular bags!"
But as you opened the package, there it was â the exact same black leather bag you had been admiring, complete with its iconic chain strap and quilted pattern. Your jaw dropped at its beauty, but immediately after came the familiar exasperation.
"ATSUMU MIYA!" Your voice echoed through the apartment.
You heard shuffling from the bedroom, and soon enough, your boyfriend appeared in the hallway, wearing his MSBY Black Jackals training shorts and a plain white t-shirt. His blonde hair was still slightly messy from sleep, but there was a telling glimmer in his eyes that he was trying hard to suppress.
"Mornin', what's with all the yellin'?" he asked innocently, leaning against the wall with that signature smirk of his.
You held up the bag, your eyes narrowing. "Care to explain this?"
"What? That's a nice bag ya got there. Secret admirer?" He scratched his head, playing dumb, but the slight pink tinge on his ears gave him away.
"Atsumu," you said firmly, though you couldn't help but feel your heart warm at his thoughtfulness, "who else would send me a Chanel bag?"
"Maybe it was Bokun? Ya know how he gets when he's shoppin' for Keiji-kun, might've got carried away and bought ya somethin' too!" His explanation was so ridiculous that you couldn't help but laugh.
"Bokuto-san, who panicked last week because he accidentally bought premium rice instead of regular rice, bought me a Chanel bag?"
Atsumu's facade cracked as he let out a chuckle. "Okay, okay, ya caught me." He walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist. "But before ya lecture me about spendin' money, just hear me out."
You sighed, letting your head rest against his chest. "Tsum, we've talked about this. You don't need to buy me expensive things."
"I know," he said softly, his Kansai accent thickening with emotion. "But ya work so hard, and ya never ask for anythin'. Ya even pack my lunches for away games and come to every match ya can. Let me spoil ya a little bit?"
"Butâ"
"Plus," he interrupted with a playful grin, "ya should see yer face whenever we pass by that store. Yer eyes light up like when ya watch me serve an ace."
You couldn't help but blush. "That's different! Your serves are actually impressive."
"And my girlfriend deservin' nice things ain't impressive enough reason?" He pressed a kiss to your forehead. "I got money to spend, and I wanna spend it on the love of my life. Sue me."
You looked down at the bag, running your fingers over the smooth leather. "It is beautiful," you admitted reluctantly.
"Just like ya," he said, and even though it was cheesy, your heart fluttered. "Now, are ya gonna model it for me or what? Gotta make sure my investment was worth it," he teased.
You playfully swatted his arm but couldn't hide your smile. "Fine, but this is the last time, okay? No more surprise luxury gifts."
"Sure, sure," he agreed too quickly, making you suspicious.
"Atsumu..."
"What? I didn't say anythin'!" He raised his hands in surrender, but you could see him already planning his next surprise in those mischievous brown eyes of his.
"You're impossible," you sighed, but reached up to kiss him anyway. "Thank you for the bag. I love it... and I love you."
His resulting smile was brighter than any designer purchase could ever be. "Love ya too, even when yer yellin' my name through the apartment."
"Only because you deserve it!"
"Worth it," he grinned, pulling you closer. "Every single time."
â¸kiesbrainjuice all rights reserved. please to not plagiarize, repost, or translate !
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âI'm hooome! Whereâs my pretty girl?â your husbandâs voice echoed through your house, making you perk up in attention, before an immediate smile plastered itself on your face.
âHey-â
âDaddy!!â your daughter called, sprinting from her room where she had been hosting a tea party while you checked e-mails from work.
Your bright smile turned into a frown, a pout painting your lips with disappointment. Your husband used to call you pretty girl, and for a second, you assumed he meant you. A nostalgic wave threw you into memories of young Atsumu barging into your dorm room in university and calling you his pretty girl.
However, as you heard your beloved daughter giggle when he presumably lifted her and kissed her chubby little cheeks, your heart soared and completely abandoned any thoughts you had a moment before.
You got up off the couch and hurried into the hallway, peeking around the corner and smiling softly at the sight. Your husband noticed you immediately, settling your daughter on his hip and hurrying over to you for more kisses.
âIâm so lucky to have two pretty girls greeting me when I get home,â he mumbled, littering all available parts of your face in love like he just did to your daughter.
requested Űśŕ§ | chaotic afterschool date with atsumu miya.
dates with atsumu are almost always complete chaos.
something always has to go wrong during a date, thatâs just how it is.
itâs either him tripping and falling face first into a puddle, which ends with you feeding him pudding for comfort.
or a ball flies into your face at top speed, which would break your nose if you hadnât turned your face a little. and that date ends with him apologizing over and over again, walking slightly behind you like a kicked puppy.
and today is seemingly going well, but just you wait.
school ended a little earlier today due to the hot weather, atsumu didnât have any volleyball practice for once, so itâs the perfect opportunity for an afterschool date.
heâs telling you about an absurdity that happened last night, âanâ then âsamu slapped my face outta nowhere! i didnât even do anything to deserve it!â he groans loudly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants.
âyou sure you didnât do anything?â you tease, elbowing his side softly. his head snaps towards you with wide blown eyes like you stole his dog.
âeh?! ya donât even believe yer boyfriend?â he gasps, and you let out a soft laugh at his reaction. âitâs you weâre talking about yâknow.â this makes him gasp louder, hand clutching at his chest like heâs in a dramatic soap opera.
âwhatâs that supposed to mean?!â he lays his head on your shoulder, not the most convinient way to walk, but thatâs all what heâs about. always finding away to inconvenience you for no good reason.
ânothing,â you hum, and even if you canât take a look at his face, you know heâs pouting hard.
âget off my shoulder, my bagâs already annoying,â you groan, movinf your elbow backwards to hit him flush in his chest, effectively stopping him in his tracks.
âlet me carry it for ya, sweetcheeks.â he tugs on your bag strap from behind, pulling it away from your arm and onto his.
a bag on either side of his shoulder doesnât necessarily look very good, but he wears it with no shame anyway. atleast your shoulderâs lighter than before.
âyou look really stupid, âtsumu.â you giggle, grabbing your phone to snap a quick picture of him. âstupid for you,â he whispers in your ear, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.
âiâm making this my wallpaper,â you grin to yourself, not thinking that heâd hear it, but unfortunately for you, he did.
âdonâtcha dare do that!â he yells with faux annoyance, trying to snatch your phone out of your hands.
so you make a run for it, which is a really dumb move, considering heâs an athlete with too much stamina and speed, so heâll catch up to you in no time.
but still, you run at the fastest speed you can, and you have the tiniest headstart considering it took him ten seconds to realize what you were doing.
you turn the corner, thinking youâve lost him, looking behind you for one quick second to make sure heâs not there yet.
but that one quick second nearly cost you your nose, since you ran right into a streetlight, turning your head the slightest bit to not go in nose first, but rather cheek first.
you fall back with your whole body, landing square on your butt.
atsumu wasnât that far behind as you thought, so he saw the whole thing happen, now sprinting towards you.
heâs crouched infront of you in less than a second, warm palms cradling your face so softly, like youâre made of glass.
âyou okay, baby?â he asks, voice so soft and quiet that if heâll speak any louder, youâll crack.
âdo i look okay?â you retort through sniffles, your cheeks stained with tears that are still spilling out, your breath lightly ragged from the shock and the pain.
âright, stupid question,â he wipes a few stray tears away from your eyes, his thumb as careful as possible. âcan i do anything for ya? wanâ me to carry you home?â
you nod, and he inspects your cheek one more time, thereâs already a nasty bruise forming on your cheek, and it makes him wince at the purples and blues already tainting your skin.
heâs holding you bridal style, allowing you to hide your face in his shoulder to let the tears fall freely, and to not let anyone see them.
and a little later, youâre sat down at a bench infront of a small icecream store, atsumu standing in line to order for the both of you, as a small treat to soothe your pain a little, although icecream can only do so mentally.
he comes back with the icecream cones, hands you yours, and as he sits down himself, he drops his cone flat on the floor, and sits on something wet.
he jolts up immediately, and you canât help but laugh out loud at the sight.
he happened to sit on some chocolate icecream, which isnât a good combination with the spot on his pants it came on.
â âtsumuâ your pantsâ,â you wheeze, unable to contain your laughter in the moment. âiâm only letting ya laugh at me âcause yer hurt, itâs not funny.â he huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.
but thereâs a noticeable smile on his face, heâs glad to hear your laugh, not your small sniffles and sobs.
heâd sit on as much melted icecream as possible, if it meant keeping your laugh forever.
so yeah, dates with atsumu donât really go all that well, but itâs all fun in the end.
a/n: someone invent moisturizer for my throat please
⌠KUROO TETSURO â the intellectual manipulator
Headcanons:
- Kurooâs toxicity doesnât scream. It smiles. It talks softly, laughs at the right moments, and hides its sharpest edges behind warmth and wit. Heâs the kind of man who knows how people work â and thatâs both his gift and his curse.
- He understands you too well. You never have to explain what youâre feeling, because heâs already two steps ahead of you. At first, that feels safe. Later, it feels claustrophobic.
- When you fight, heâll stay quiet until you start to stumble. Then heâll dissect your emotions like an experiment: âYouâre upset, but not because of what I didâyouâre upset because of how you interpreted what I did.â
- He knows how to make you question your own memory of events. Never in a way thatâs obvious â just subtle enough that you start to wonder if you really are too sensitive.
- He never yells. He wins with calmness. Youâll raise your voice, and heâll sigh, all patient disappointment, until you feel childish for even trying.
- When heâs distant, he becomes strategically unavailable. He leaves texts on read, cancels plans with half-hearted apologies â just enough to make you chase him again.
- If you ever pull away, heâll suddenly flood you with attention. âIâve just been so busy, babe. You know how I get. Donât shut me out, okay?â Itâs a pendulum that keeps you off-balance.
- His apologies sound sincere. His words are precise. Heâll even cry sometimes â not because he feels it, but because he knows itâll reset the game.
- He thinks control equals care. If heâs always the one leading, fixing, teaching â then heâs indispensable. He canât be left behind if you need him to function.
- Deep down, he believes love is a negotiation. Someone always has to have the upper hand. And he intends for it to be him.
⸝
THE RATIONALIZATION:
You were trying to explain how you felt to himâagain. It wasnât like he understood, he understood perfectly well. It was the way he was dismissive, the patronizing way he spoke to you, almost like you were a child.
âI just wish youâd tell me when youâre not coming home. Itâsâitâs not hard, Tetsu.â
He exhaled slowly, eyes on his phone. âYou know how many times Iâve told you I lose track of time at the office? Itâs not personalâI just donât have time to talk to you all the time.â
âI didnât say thatâI donât need you to talk to me all the time. And it feels personal when you say it like that and you disappear for hours. All I wanted was a text. You canât say that and except me not to be upset.â
He looked up then, one brow lifting. âI donât think this is anything to get upset about. Itâs childish, weâre both adults.â He sighed at you, walking away from you knowing youâd follow him. âMaybe thatâs why this feels so personal to you. I donât have time for anything else when Iâm working, I thought of all people youâd understand. Donât start an argument over nothing.â
You blinked, heat rising in your face. âIâm notâIâm not making things up for the sake of start an argument.â You trailed behind him, tripping over your footsteps. âIâm not being childish, Iâm asking you to just communicate with meââ
âI didnât say you were starting an argument. Iâm saying that you just⌠interpreting things wrong. You do that often.â
Your face twisted, confused. âBut you saidâyou literally just said that I wasââ
He smiled. It was gentle. Too gentle. You felt the argument dissolve in your throat, leaving only guilt behind.
He reached out and brushed your wrist with his thumb. âHey. Donât overthink it, yeah? Youâre fine. Weâre fine.â
You nodded, even though something in you whispered you werenât.
⸝
THE WITHDRAWAL:
The silence came in phases. It wasnât something that happened over night, itâs was dragged out, painful and impossible to understand. It started with fewer texts, then shorter replies that didnât aid in the overall lack in communication. Whenever you brought it up, he dismissed it like it was nothing, like it didnât matter to him.
And then there was nothing at all.
You asked him one night, âDid I do something? Iâve been trying to talk to you about this but you justâŚwonât talk to me?â
He glanced over from his desk, glasses low on his nose. âYouâre always asking if you did something wrong. Iâd you did, I wouldâve let you know. You know that. So why are you still asking?â
âBecause youâve been cold lately.â
He sighed. âI just⌠donât have the energy to reassure you that weâre good every day. You need to be able to trust me even when Iâm sitting here in silence.â
You swallowed the hurt. âOkay.â
He gave a small smile â approving, relieved. âGood. Thatâs my girl.â
That night, you lay awake beside him, staring at the faint blue light of his phone. You wondered who he was texting when he turned away from you to answer.
⸝
THE SOFT GASLIGHT:
He found your half-written message on your phone. The one to your friend. The one that started with, âI donât think he loves me anymore.â
When you came home, he was waiting. Calm, composed, holding your phone up in accusation.
âWanna explain this to me?â
Your stomach dropped as you tossed your keys onto the table. âYou went through my phone? When did even take my phone? I thought I had it in myââ
He tilted his head. âInteresting that thatâs your first concern.â
âI was justâjust venting, I wasââ
âYou what? You think I donât love you?â he asked quietly, his voice trembling â perfectly measured heartbreak. âAfter everything I do for you? Are you serious?â
You opened your mouth, but the words tangled.
He laughed then, bitter. âGuess I canât even trust you to keep things between us. You tell everyone our issues except for me, right?â
âHow am I supposed to fix things between us if you donât trust me with your feelings.â And you didnât trust him with your feelings, everytime you tried to talk to him, he shut you down and dismissed the issue all together.
You cried, apologizing for something you didnât even fully understand. He pulled you into his chest, murmuring, âItâs fine, baby. I get itâŚI just need you to be better. I need you to trust me.â
And you did. Again.
⸝
THE RESET:
After every storm came the calm. The part that made it impossible to leave. You would fight, bawl your eyes out and beg for him to forgive you, and somehow end up back in his arms, tangled in the sheets of your bed moaning his name. It was a cycle. Fight. Fuck. Forgive. Repeat.
He cooked dinner that nightâa rare sentiment, but not unheard of. There was music, soft and familiar jazz that he seemed to play every time his blood was boiling. It kept him calm, level headed so he could work on formulating the mind games he would play later. He poured your wine first, smiled from across the table like nothing had ever happened between you, like you werenât crying, begging for forgiveness only moments ago.
âYouâve been quiet,â he said. âYou okay?â
You nodded. Youâd learned to lie efficiently.
He reached across and brushed your knuckles with his fingers. âYou know I hate it when we fight. Youâre the best thing in my life. You know that, right?â
You nodded again. He smiled wider, leaning back like heâd just solved a problem.
And in that moment â that warm, glowing, normal moment â you almost believed him.
⸝
⌠Reflection â Kuroo TetsurĹ
Loving Kuroo felt like taking a class you could never pass. Every conversation was a test, every silence a pop quiz you hadnât studied for. He made you sharper, but only because you learned to anticipate his next move, to phrase your feelings like evidence in a debate.
He didnât scream, didnât always threaten you, but he was calculated, everything he said deliberate and thought out. He just reasoned you into submission. You stopped trusting your instincts, stopped listening to how he made you feel and started trusting his explanations and justifications instead. And the cruelest part? He probably thought he was helpingâteaching you to be âstronger,â âless reactive,â âmore logical,â and âless needy.â
When you finally left him, he didnât chase you. He didnât want to. He just said, âI hope you figure yourself out,â like it was a gift.
And maybe it was, in the end.
⸝
⌠OIKAWA TĹRU â the perfectionist & the destroyer
Headcanons:
- Oikawa builds his world out of performance. Everything must look effortless: his smile, his game, his love. Beneath that polish is a constant low-grade panic that someone will see how fragile it all is.
- He falls fast, but itâs not loveâitâs the relief of being adored by someone who seems worthy of maintaining. Your attention becomes proof that heâs winning in the game of what he thinks is love, what he thinks is admiration.
- He keeps score without realising it. The compliments, favours, affectionâitâs all tallied and organized to maintain his ego. When you donât match his energy, he withholds his and completely withdrawals from you as a form of punishment.
- Jealousy isnât loud with him; it doesnât need to be because itâs disguised as incessant teasing. âOh, so he makes you laugh like that?â He says it with a grin that makes you question if heâs kidding. âI thought I was the only one who made you laugh like that.â When you tease him back about the possibility of him being jealous, he snaps at you, accuses you of doing this on purpose to make him angry.
- He punishes you emotionally by disappearing. Its not dramaticâhe doesnât want it to be. He wants it to be slow, painful, the agonizingly slow fade of unread messages and one-word replies until you apologise for things you didnât do.
- Every apology he gives is immaculate, itâs a prepared, calculated response thatâs filled with heartfelt words, tear stained eyes, the promise of self-improvement. He means it while he says it, which is what makes it convincing. What he doesnât do is follow through with his actionsâand he doesnât care to.
- When you cry, try to reason with him about being mistreated, he looks absolutely devastatedâand he is. When you forgive him, he looks relieved that his performance has paid off. The cycle comforts him; it means you still care enough to chase after him, even when heâs being cruel.
- He tells himself heâs doing his best. And he is. The tragedy is that his best is still built on fear and insecurityâfear that love means nothing without performanceâand insecurity that no one will love him if he isnât putting on the best performance known to man. No one knows the real him, not even Oikawa himself. He has zero sense of self identity.
⸝
ADORATION FROM A FAR:
You met him when you were working as a sports journalist. He was training, day after day, night after night spent in the gym putting in hard work into honing is talents. He noticed you from the corner of his eye, heâd seen you pacing the track that overlooked the court, clipboard in hand, writing something down as you observed him. Sweat was still slick on his neck when he approached you, tossing a tepee k over his shoulder with a hand on his hip. That cheeky grin of his was too bright for how tired he looked.
âDo you know what itâs like to have someone watch you for weeks without even saying hello? â he asked you, totally Intrigued by you.
You laughed. âI didnât think it was necessary to say hello just yet.â
âWell youâre writing an article about me for sports illustrated, are you not? The least you could do is get to know me a little better,â he said, eyes on you instead of the court. âYou already know my name, letâs start with yours.â
And from that moment, you were absolutely smitten with him. Oikawa Tooru, one of the best volleyball players of his generation, very quickly turned into a what you thought was just a hookup, to becoming your boyfriend practically over night.
He was sprawled out on your couch one evening, legs spread wide like an invitation as he stared at you instead of watching the tv. âYou know, I noticed you the second you walked through the doors. It was hard to not notice you.â
You laughed turning to him. âDid you really?â Your eyebrows rose in amusement. âWhy didnât you say anything to me?â
He looked to the tv, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. âI saw a beautiful woman and thought âDamn. She definitely has a boyfriend. Thereâs no way in hell that I would have a chance with her.ââ He said, his tone playful and sweet. âFor the first time, Iâm glad I was wrong.â
âYou could have anyone in the world. You have so many fansâwhy not date one of them?â
âI meanâwhatâs the fun in dating someone who already knows everything about you?â He shrugged, rolling his eyes. âYou didnât know anything about meâIâve never felt so nervous to have someone watching me.â His hand found yours, his thumb stroking over your knuckles softly, endearingly. âNone of this matters if youâre not watching me. My fans donât matter, the money, the fame. All I want is to see you in the crowd, I donât need anyone else.â
You thought it was romantic, the way he spoke, the way he looked at you like you were suddenly his whole world when you were thrust into his life only two months ago. You didnât realise it was the start of something possessiveâhow heâd begin obsessively checking if you were at his games, how your absence would feel like betrayal if you couldnât make it to a game, how his ability to play was affected by your presence all together.
You didnât realize how much of a mistake you made until he made front page on the latest sports newsletter. Youâd missed his game. It wasnât intentional, it was work related. He was searching for you incessantly in the crowd, panicking because he couldnât see you, his insecurity boiling inside of him like rage. Heâd snapped in the middle of the game, screaming at the referee, threatening his teammates and storming off the court before anyone could ask him what was wrong.
⸝
CONTROL TROUGH GUILT:
He caught you laughing with a coworker outside of a cafĂŠ once. It happened after work on a sunny Tuesday afternoon. You had plans to meet him at the gym after practice was over so you could go to dinner togetherâ but you seem to conveniently leave out that you had plans with somebody else. Somebody that wasnât him.
You werenât even a block away from the gym, only about a ten minute walk past the train station. You promised him that youâd be on timeâbut five minutes too late meant the end of the world to him. He pulled into the parking lot too quickly, dangerously as he parked with a loud screech. He sat in his car, sun glasses pulled over his eyes, nostrils flared, seething like a wild animal, hands gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles as he watched you carefully. You had laughed at something your coworker said, walking side by side with coffees in hand before you gave him a friendly hug to say goodbye.
His blood was boiling and his chest felt tight like he could fucking scream. No one else deserved your attention the way he did, and it made him nauseous to know that you were with another man instead of him. He was the reason you hadnât shown up to the gym where he sat waiting for you, flowers in hand, excited for the date he had planned. You with someone elseâit didnât matter that he was a coworker, you were with someone who wasnât him.
When you glanced over your shoulder and caught sight of his car, you were too excited to question his odd behavior. You didnât tell him that you were going to a cafĂŠ to meet your coworker, you didnât think it was necessary. You didnât question how he found you, how he knew where you were, and you really should have.
When you approached his car, he waved excitedly, approaching the passenger side door. When you got in his car, youâd kissed him softly on the lips, his hand shot out to grab your neck, pulling you closer to him as he eyed your coworker from across the parking lot with a glare that spoke louder than any words.
âHeyâŚdid I do something? Youâre never like this.â you asked.
He smiledâtight, brittle. âNo. Iâm just thinking about how happy you looked with him. I wish I could make you laugh like that lately.â
âWhat?â You laughed, offhandedly, confused at why he would say such a thing. âWhat do you mean? Iâm sorryâI-Iâm just confused as to why youâd say something like that.â
He was silent for a moment, eyes drifting away from yours and focusing on anything else.
âTooruâŚI really enjoy the time I have with you. Iâm sorry if I made you feel like I donât value the time we have, or if I made you feel like I donât careââ
You started to protest, but he shook his head, eyes on the road. âDonât apologise. Itâs not your fault Iâm not⌠enough for you right now. I understand.â
That single line turned the air heavy. You didnât panic, you were just taken off guard. Heâd given you the silent treatment as you sat in the parking lot, and somehow or another you convinced him to come over to your apartment so you could talk things out. You spent the rest of the night trying to convince him he was more than enough for you, that you were happy with him. But by the time you reached your apartment, you were the one apologizing to him.
⸝
THE WITHDRAWAL:
For a week he was politeâalmost too aware of the way he spoke to you, the way he acted when he was around you. He wasnât coldâhe was just polite. Every message he sent you was punctuated correctly, every kiss on the cheek was quick and distant and felt like it lacked genuine connection.
You had invited him over to your apartment to spend the night, hoping to lighten the mood by cooking him
dinner and spending the evening watching the show heâd started recently. You werenât oblivious to the changes in his behavior, you were genuinely trying to cheer him up and maybe talk to him about what was going on.
But he said no. He didnât know on why he couldnât or wouldnât come over, he just simply said no. You didnât mean to pry, but a wave of guilt washed over you and you couldnât help but ask if you could call him.
When he answered the phone, he was curt, he seemed robotic and distant, like he didnât really care to have a conversation with you. Beyond almost treated the phone call like it was an inconvenience to him.
When you finally asked what was wrong, he said, âNothing. I just figured you needed some space.â
You said you didnât. âWhy would I need space? I donât understand why you would think I needed space, my love.â
You heard him clear his throat from the other end of the phone. âWell, I donât know. Maybe Iâm reading into things too much. I just figured Iâd give you time to realize what you have.â
You realised heâd already decided how you felt; you were just catching on to his behavior, the way he pulled away when he was jealous, the way he wanted you to work for his affections. The way he created a physical distance between the two of you felt like someone driving a knife into your chest. It was hard for you to fathom why he would be behaving such a way, if he wanted to fix things so badly why couldnât he just talk to you?
⸝
THE RESET:
When he got tired of playing mind games with you, and when he got tired of dragging out arguments, heâd show up to your apartment unannounced, dressed in the finest clothes he owned with a playful smile, a smile that otherwise wouldâve said he was excited to see you. He always came with flowers in one hand, the other already reaching for you, waiting to grab you by the waist and pull you flush against him like he was about to take you away and give you the best night of your life.
And he would. He always had suites booked at some of the finest hotels in Japan, he liked to book expensive trips that you otherwise couldnât take on your own. And he spoiled you without a second thought. He offered to buy you designer bags, jewelry, and would even offer to pay to maintain your appearance. Every single grand gesture was just a performance meant to keep you around a little bit longer
âI hate when weâre like this,â he whispered against your hair after a night of very passionate, raw, intense sex, his lips brushing your ears softly in a way that said that he wanted more from you than he would ever admit. âI get scared, I get distant because Iâm afraid to lose you. When I mess up, I donât go about it in the right way. You know me.â
And you did. That was the problem. His voice cracked at all the right moments, his arms trembled just enough to make you believe that what he was saying was real, it was vulnerable and true to how he really felt.
For a while you both pretended the slate was clean. That everything between you, everything that happened was nothing but a misunderstanding. He promised you that he would change, that everything that ever happened between you wouldnât ever happen again. But it was a cycle, and he didnât care that it was. He didnât care that your relationship felt like a game, even when it felt like a game that he couldnât win. And his mind as long as you were with him, he was winning.
⸝
⌠Reflection â Oikawa Tooru
Loving Oikawa felt like chasing sunlight through glass: beautiful until you noticed the shards of glass that had shattered long ago.
He never meant to hurt you; he just didnât know another way to keep you close. Every apology was a rehearsal, every reunion a premiere to a show that you already knew the ending to. You learned to read the script by heart, felt every word like a scar worn on your fragile heart. Things were never rightâand he needed them to be right. But no matter how many times he tried, he still couldnât get his lines right.
He drags everyone down with him, and he doesnât even realize that heâs doing it. His biggest fear is being alone for the rest of his life, he canât handle not being in the spotlight, he canât handle not being the center of someoneâs world. Thatâs why when you left him it absolutely shattered him.
⸝
⌠IWAIZUMI HAJIME â the unintentional aggressor
Headcanons:
- Iwaizumiâs toxicity grows out of protection that has no boundaries and caring too much to the point where he loses control of himself entirely. He wants you to be safe, wants you in a steady environment and space that wonât compromise your happiness, and the longer he loves you, the more convinced he becomes that he is the only one who can guarantee that.
- He worries constantly to the point where itâs an unhealthy obsession. In the early stages of your relationship, when things were just kicking off, he was very sweet and sincere with the way he cared for you. âText me when you get home.â And âlet me know if you need anything. Iâm only a call away.â But as the relationship progresses, when things start to get intimate and real, it becomes a checklist of where you are, who youâre with, and what time youâll be back.
- He used to offer his help sweetly, sometimes without having to be asked. He was perfect; he always knew what to do, always knew how to take care of you, always knew what you needed. But it soon turns into him treating you like youâre incapable of doing things on your ownâclaiming that heâs âjust looking out for youâ.
- He starts speaking for you in social situations, giving you no room to express yourself, leaving you no room to stand on your own. He starts breaking down how you talk to other men, jealously bleeding through every criticism. âWhyâd you look at him like that?â And âyou canât be so nice to peopleâtheyâll get the wrong idea and then Iâll have to deal with it.â
- Then he started to get rid of your things, clothes he didnât approve of, clothes that he said were too revealing. He starts criticizing the way you touch your hair, the way you do your makeup. Heâs trying to strip your identity.
- He says, âI just want to take care of you,â and âIâm trying to make sure that youâre not putting yourself in certain situations,â and he wonât elaborate. Ever. But what he really means is, I canât relax unless Iâm in total control of you.
- When you make independent plans, he gets tense. âYou donât need to prove anything,â heâll say, masking his discomfort as reassurance. âWhy donât you want me to come with you?â
- His anger burns out quickly when you fightânot wanting you to be afraid or run away from him. The aftermath is where things get interestingâthe afterglow after makeup sex, resting his chin on your shoulder, hovering as you scroll through your phone. He wants to see what your doing, constant checking to see if youâre doing anything that might set him off. Itâs overbearing in a silent, patronizing way. The way he kisses down your shoulder, eyes peering over your shoulder with a narrowed gaze, fingers gripping you tighter and tighterâit all makes you feel suffocated.
- He measures affection and intimacy in responsibility. The more he does for you, the more you owe him, even if he never says it out loud. He wonât make it painfully obvious, but heâll hold the expectation that everything he does for you, no matter how grand or minuscule, is grounds for a sexual reward.
- He genuinely believes heâs doing the right thing; thatâs what makes the dynamic so tight and suffocating. He doesnât consider himself a misogynist, he just believes in gender roles. He wants to be the dominant, blue collar, provider and protector that you need. He wants you to wait for him when he comes home, shower with him, give into his needs, and take care of homely things while heâs hard at work making sure youâre safe and loved in the only way he knows how; through control.
⸝
MEETING HIM / HIS INITIAL OBSESSION:
You met him at a mutual friendâs party. The music throbbed softly in the background, the scent of drinks and perfume mingling in the air. He was laughing with his buddies, a little drunk, leaning against the kitchen counter, and something about the ease of his presence made you relax.
He offered to get you a drink. âYou look tired,â he said softly, handing you the cup. âDidnât eat enough today?â
You smiled politely. âIâm fine.â But then you laughed, breathless and amused by how he read you like a book. âI promise Iâm okay.â
âNo, really. I can tell,â he said, eyes locking on yours in a way that made your stomach flutter. âJust let me make sure youâre good. Wanna get outta here and grab a quick bite? Itâs on me.â
You laughed as he held your hand, dragging you through the crowd and out his car. You laughed, shaking your head at your impulsiveness as you followed a stranger to his car all because he offered to take you to this diner he was excited about. What was the harm in grabbing a bite to eat with a total stranger that youâd only just met an hour ago?
He followed through with his promise and took you to the diner on the corner, one where couples shared a milkshake from across the table, one where late night conversations were too intimate, too raw and real under the dim lamplight. You shared a burger and he let you steal as many fries as you wanted as he watched you, looking at how effortlessly gorgeous you looked after a long night of partying, talking about anything and everything mindlessly.
You talked for a few hours at the diner until the owner decided to close up in the early hours in the morning. You stayed in the parking lot leaning against his car, looking up at the stars and laughing about something he said. It was oddly romantic for just meeting someone, but it was also comforting in a way. Youâd never felt so comfortable talking to anyone and you already felt like you knew him. After a night of impulsive decisions and long conversations, you exchanged numbers.
And that was the start of something you couldnât begin to imagine.
⸝
THE SLOW CREEP OF CONTROL:
It felt caring at first.
He was charming and a gentleman, but he always seemed concerned for you. It seemed that the rare impulsive decision you made on the night you met, the one that led you to eventually becoming his girlfriend, had branded itself into his mind.
That decision was a constant reminder to him: âIf I were anyone else, she couldâve ended up with some creep. Or worse.â
You didnât realize that this small concern would soon become constant monitoring, a complete violation of your privacy, always needing to know who you spoke to, what you ate, what time you went home.
Within weeks of meeting each other, you started casually dating. He was picking you up after outings with your friends âjust to be safe,â and of course you bragged about him to your friendsâhow could you not? He was strong, protective, attractive, great in bed, and he was a gentleman. He always offered to accompany you on errands, walking with you late at night to the 7/11 down the street from your apartment. He lived nearby he said, whether that was true or not, you didnât careâat least not at the time.
There was a time when be walked you to your car, he lingered a little too close, his hand brushing yours when handing you your purse that he offered to carry. His touch was gentle, light, almost casual in nature âbut the weight behind it, the way he seemed to measure your reactions, sent a shiver through you. At the time, it felt thrilling, like being noticed by someone so in-tune with youâbut the tiny seed of unease had already been planted.
Several weeks into your relationship with him, when he finally asked you to be his girlfriend after two months the of causally seeing eachother, he starts âhelpingâ you with tasks that you could do yourself.
At first, you genuinely thought he was just being respectful. Heâd always offered to help you in any way he could, holding doors open without thought, carrying groceries into your apartment, even doing maintenance on your car so you didnât have to see a mechanic.
âHere, let me take that,â heâd said, taking the knife from your hand while you prepped dinner at your kitchen counter. âSeriously, I donât want you to hurt yourself. Iâll handle it. Just sit down, relax a bit, yeah?â
You laugh, brushing it off. But over time, these small acts of kindness stripped away your independence. Any time you sat up from the couch, he would stand up first and get you what you needed. Any time you mentioned going to the grocery store, or simply running errands, heâd already done everything for you.
You invited him over one night for no particular reason. He was laid on across your bed, sweatpants hanging enticingly low on his hips, scrolling through his phone as he listened to you yap from within your closet, clothes flying behind you onto the floor. He shifted on the bed, trying to grab your attention so you would come lay with him, hoping that he could take you right then.
Instead, you kept talking, launching clothes left and right in piles on the floor.
âI just donât know what to keep and what to get rid of. I want new clothes but like, I already have too many.â
You invited him over simply for company, he thought you wanted to fuck. You were going through your closet, trying to decide what to get rid of. You were in the middle of talking his ear off when he stood up from your bed, padded over to you with a look in his eye before he leaned over your body, his hands on your hips in a way that made your heart race.
âWell then let me help you, baby.â What you didnât expect was for him to rearrange your closet, removing outfits he deemed inappropriate. âI just want you to look niceâŚyou know, just for me,â he says softly, eyes flicking to you for reaction. âDonât need anymore wandering eyes.â
At first, you very ignorantly thought it wasnât that big of a deal. Later, you notice youâd began choosing your clothes based on avoiding his anger rather than your own taste. Any time you wore something that showed too much skin, showed too much cleavage, he made you take it off and he yelled at you in a fit of rage. He would grumble under his breath, shove his hands into his pockets and tap his foot in irritation as he waited to approve what you changed into. You started to second-guessing every outfit you had, every word you said, every smile you gave to someone else.
He started commenting on the way you did your hair, the way you did your makeupâregardless of how much or how little you wore. He started being condescending whenever you spoke to anyone else. âYouâre too friendly with people,â he murmured one night, brushing your hair behind your ear. âPeople are gonna get the wrong idea. I donât wanna have to deal with that. I canât have you acting like that.â
Each small âcorrectionâ he made towards anything you did felt like being suffocated, like you couldnât even think without hearing his voice first. And there was a tightness creeping in your chest, a whisper that maybe youâre not allowed to exist entirely as yourself anymore.
⸝
THE EXPLOSION:
One night, you met a coworker for dinner to discuss marketing tactics for an upcoming project. Nothing happened, it was simply a dinner meant to discuss your careers and how to improve on your strategies. You asked Iwaizumi to pick you up instead of walking back to your apartment. He watched you from the parking lot, waiting, his head leaned against the headrest, taking hits from his vape to calm his nerves, knee bouncing in anticipation, shaking the car slightly.
You were standing outside with your coworker, talking about work, making small talk to catch each other up on your personal lives. Iwaizumi was seething, anger boiling over until he threw open the car door, stepping out with an angry huff. He slammed the door, shaky hands smoothing over his hoodie before he made a beeline through the parking lot towards you.
You heard his footsteps approaching all too quickly, eyes widening before you smiled awkwardly. âOh! Oh my god. I didnât know you were already here,â You said before turning to your coworker, gesturing toward Iwaizumi, âUmm, sorry this is Hajime, my boyfriend.â
Your coworker nodded polity and said hello, holding out a hand for him to shake. He just stared at it, hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans with his neck craned back in suspicion. He glared at your coworker and your smile dropped, you could feel your heartbeat constrict in your chest, your coworker, looking at you awkwardly before casually saying good night
When you get home, you invite him upstairs to talk. He was quiet following you to the elevator, and when he got to your apartment, he started pacing. Eyes sharp. Hands gripping the edge of the counter as he finally grounded himself. The hum of the refrigerator seemed deafening in the tense silence.
âWhy were you talking to him like that?â His voice is low, dangerous. âDo you know how the fuck that looks?â
âItâs justâŚI donât understand why youâre upset, Hajime. Heâs my coworkerâheâs married and he has like, three kids. Like, I-I just donât understand what the hell your issueââ you stammer, heart hammering.
âMy issue?!â he snaps, the control you never realized he had tightening around your chest. âYouâre telling me you donât understand how this looksâyou being with another man at night? You canât justâŚI canât have you acting like that. You donât understand how easy it is for someone to take advantage of you.â
âTake advantage of me?! Heâs my goddamn coworkerââ
You try to reason, to explain your intent. He interrupts, voice rising. âDonât fucking argue. I know whatâs best for you and thatâs it! I justâŚI canât stand the thought of you putting yourself out there like that. You donât see it, the way that other men look at youâbut I fucking do.â
He comes closer, so close that you can feel the heat of his body pressing toward you. You can smell the faint scent of his cologne, his aftershave, the sweat from pacing, and it makes your stomach twist. The way he towers over you, his voice firm yet trembling, making you question your own judgment, your own innocence.
By the end of the night, youâre sobbing, an absolute mess, apologizing for something you didnât do. He pulls you close, resting his chin on your shoulder, fingers gripping your arm a little too tight. âI just want to take care of you. I just want to keep you safe.â he whispers. And in that suffocating warmth, you forgive him.
⸝
THE AFTERGLOW / SUFFOCATION:
Morning comes, and heâs already moved through the apartment before you can even wake up. He has your coffee poured perfectly, he has your vitamins and supplements laid out on the counter, your workout clothes are laid out, even your breakfast is prepared. The sun slices across the wood floor, illuminating the space heâs prepped to fit your routine perfectly. He sits on the couch in anticipation, waiting for you to wake up.
When you skip your routine, he doesnât scold youâbut his hurt looks sharper than anger. He puts in effort to make sure that you maintain your lifestyle, that youâre taken care of, and when you go off scheduleâit feels like a personal attack on him.
âI just want you to be healthy,â he says softly, watching you eat, eyes narrowing slightly when you reach for your phone. âDonât you trust me?â
You nod, even though your chest feels tight. The subtle misogyny lingers: youâre not just cared for, youâre expected to comply, to submit to his control quietly. His affection comes packaged with oversight, and you start questioning whether your independence is allowed at all.
When he leans over your shoulder, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, his thumb lingers on your wrist, tracing the veins just soâthereâs a possessive weight to it. You feel watched, monitored, wrapped in warmth thatâs slowly becoming too tight to breathe in. And yet, the softness in his eyes, the steady heartbeat against yours, the murmured âI just want whatâs best,â keeps you tethered.
⸝
⌠Reflection â Iwaizumi Hajime
Loving Iwaizumi felt like being wrapped in warmth that slowly became a weight you couldnât shrug off. At first, it was protection, concern, devotionâthe kind of love that makes you feel safe. But over time, you realized that safety came at a cost: your choices, your routines, your very sense of self.
He never meant to cage you on purpose. He never meant to shout at you. He only built walls brick by brick, layer by layer, telling himselfâand youâthat it was for your good. Each act of care carried a quiet expectation, each gesture a subtle claim on your autonomy. You stopped questioning him, stopped thinking you could exist fully outside of him, and somewhere along the way, you forgot the shape of freedom.
His hands, his words, his eyesâthey didnât just protect you, they measured you, molded you, tethered you. You learned to live inside the orbit he drew, small and compliant, so that the warmth of his arms didnât crush you completely. And yet, even knowing how tight those walls had grown, you stayed, drawn to the comfort and the obsession, the intensity of a love that burned so hot it left you scorched and wanting more.
Loving him was suffocating and intoxicating in equal measure. You understood only too late that the line between care and control is fragile, and the person who claims to protect you the most is often the one shaping the life you thought was yours.
⸝
⌠ATSUMU MIYA â the volatile heartbreaker
Headcanons:
- Falls too fast, loves too hard: Atsumuâs intensity is immediate from the moment you meet him. Heâs a lover boy at heart, always falling for the wrong girl, always being the one who gets broken up with, always the one who gets left behind in tears. But when he meets you, it feels like his entire world has to revolve around youâyouâre the center of his universe for the second your eyes meet, and heâs convinced youâre his soulmate.
- When heâs invested, itâs all consuming. His interest in you is far beyond infatuationâand it completely destroys him. He canât get you out of his head, the way you look, the way your perfume smells, the way you look at him in no particular way. Everything you do means something to himâeven if itâs nothing worth noting. He texts you any chance he gets, needing constant communication with you.
- He almost always calls you after a long day at practice. He fave times you in the shower so you can watch him, he wants to show off at any chance he gets to impress you. Heâll lay in bed late at night in a hoodie, propped up on his elbow as he watches you over FaceTime, a smile on his lips, laughing at something you said.
- He almost always falls asleep with you on FaceTime and itâs sweet, thatâs what you thought anyway. He wants to be a part of your routine, slowly weaving himself into the parts of your daily life whenever and wherever he can.
- He teases you in a way thatâs charming and makes you laugh, heâs relentless and needs to give you all of his attention. Thereâs no slow burn to the way he loves, heâs all fire at once and itâs overwhelming and completely suffocating.
- Mood swings / whiplash: Heâs emotionalânot in the way thatâs productive and endearing; heâs destructive, one moment heâs playful and charming, the next heâs sulking, overtly jealous, possessive, or cold and distant. The shifts in his mood are unpredictable and emotionally exhausting. He refuses to acknowledge his behavior until you validate himâno matter how abusive and toxic his behavior might be. He wonât take any accountability until he gets pity or an apology from you for something you didnât do.
- Attention-driven arguments: He thrives off of picking fights with you over small things just to test if you care enough to chase after him, defend yourself, or reassure him in any way that satisfies him. The fights are less about the topic and more about gauging your emotional loyalty for him.
- He wants to see how far youâre willing to go to prove that you care about him, that heâs the only one you love. These kinds of fightsâno matter how brutalâalmost always end up with the two of you having sex. He uses sex as a reward system, itâs just another way to prove your loyalty to him, to reassure him that heâs the only one that gets to see you vulnerable.
- He has the ugliest mean streak; heâs possessive of you and he has the worst jealousy youâve ever seen. When he gets set off, thereâs no stopping him. Heâs prone to starting fightsâespecially when heâs drunk. He thinks heâs defending your honor but heâs humiliating you by causing a scene.
- He thrives off the adrenaline of physical fighting similar to how he thrives off the chaos of starting emotional fights with you.
- He excuses his behavior by saying itâs because he âcares about ya,â and âIâm defending ya, baby, why doesnât ya see that?â but heâs suffocating and heâs out of lineâhe just doesnât see it like that. He doesnât like your attention being directed elsewhere and he reacts like itâs a threat.
- Heâs defensive and his ego canât handle criticism. Any and all criticism from you feels like an attackâespecially when youâre trying to be independent. He canât handle itâhe feels like you donât care about him anymore, he assumes youâre about to breakup with him, that youâre seeing someone else behind his back.
- He lashes out emotionally, heâs aggressive and unstable, screaming and yelling, sometimes he cries because he canât keep it together. Even if he apologizes immediately after, thereâs insecurity scratches at him, tears him apart and everything falls apart all over again. None of your fights are productive or ever truly get resolved because his trust issues and insecurities are so bad.
- He views relationships like a transaction, thereâs always a push and pull of energy depending on what mood heâs in. Heâll ignore you for hours just to provoke you, heâll wallow in self pity and listen to sad music just to see if you come to him, trying to figure out what you did.
- Heâll show other women attention when he wants to make you jealousâjealousy to him shows that you care and that youâre upset that heâs not giving you his full, undivided attention. He would never cheatâoh god no, he couldnât fathom it.
- When you confront him, he resolves the issue quickly with reassurance, dismissing his poor behavior and then floods you with affection and charmâleaving you exhausted, dizzy, and emotionally attached.
- He doesnât know how to apologize. His way of apologizing comes in burstsâtext storms, showing up at your apartment in the middle of an argument, dramatic gestures like sending flowers to your workplace, planning surprise parties, etc.
- You never know if itâs real remorse or an attempt to reset the emotional scale that he offset intentionally. He loves you, that youâre sure of. But his love masquerades as wild obsession driven by fear of being abandoned.
- Self-justifying love: He convinces himself that every manipulation, every fight he starts with careful consideration, every time you chase after him, every time he chases after you, is proof that he loves you. He tries to be stable, he tries to be the man you can depend on for everything, but heâs so unstable and emotionally abusive that you have no choice but to choose yourself.
⸝
THE INITIAL SPARK / HIS OBSESSION:
He met you at a charity event his team was sponsoring. You were all dressed up, black pinstripe button up tucked into your black slacks that hugged you just right. The way your hips swayed when you walked had him in a trance. He was passing out flyersâor we was supposed to. His jaw dropped and his eyes followed you instead. You were totally out of his leagueâor thatâs what he said to you later, grinning like it was a compliment.
Youâd laughed at something one of his teammates said, and that was what got him. That was it. Your laugh became his favorite sound before he even knew your name.
When he approached you, he was all charm with a smirk on his lips and boyish overconfidence. âYa donât belong here, at least not lookinâ like that you donât.â he said, eyes raking over your figure with a quiet deliberation . âSo tell me, whatâs a girl like you doinâ here?â
You rolled your eyes, amused. âYou donât even know me.â You laughed, god, you laughed at what he said. âI thought Iâd come check out any job opportunities.â
He tilted his head, still smiling. âOh, I might not know ya now, but trust me, Iâll get to know ya. Just gimme some time.â
He slipped you a flyer, one that he was passing out earlier. It was a job advertisement. The team was recruiting a new marketing manager.
You got to know him in time, the job application heâd given you was accepted immediately with an interview. And he got to know you like the back of his hand in a matter of weeks.
He learned how you took your coffee, how you hated small talk, how you chewed on your lip when you were deep in thought. He remembered the songs you hummed when you were nervous. You didnât realize heâd memorized everything about you until it was too late.
From the the moment he asked you out, your phone never stopped lighting up with his messages â selfies from the locker room, texts that said god I miss ya already, ya looked so good today, I canât get ya out of my damn head woman, ya thinking about me too, right?
And of course you were thinking of himâbecause how could you not? He made you feel like the most fascinating thing in his orbit, he woke up every day excited to see you. You mistook his obsession for adoration. You thought being seen that deeply by someone was love.
It wasnât. It was possession dressed up as devotion.
⸝
UNPREDICTABLE TEMPER:
The music was too loud and the room too warm, laughter bouncing off the walls in fractured bursts. Atsumuâs hand had been on your waist all nightâtight, possessive, reminding everyone you were his.
Then it happened. Someone brushed past, said something harmless to you, but Atsumu froze. You felt his body lock beneath your palm and he snapped his neck behind you, eyes wild and full of animalistic rage. His voice dropped low, that edge youâd learned to fear threading through it.
âWhat did you just say?â
The other guy blinked, confused, smiling like it was a joke. âUhhâŚsorry manâI didnât know she was with you.â Atsumu wasnât smiling. His shoulders squared and he stood up straight, the muscle in his jaw tensing, eyes gone cold and void of anything but rage.
You tried to pull him back. âAtsumu, pleaseââ
He didnât hear youâdidnât hear anything. His ears were ringing. The music seemed to thin around him, the air pulled tight as wire about to snap. The guy stepped back, muttering something under his breath, and Atsumu moved forward with a wild laugh leaving his lips, his eyes blown impossibly wide and feral.
People were watching now. You caught the look on their facesâhalf entertained, half wary of what was about to unfold. Your heart was hammering in your chest and you felt sick.
âBaby,â you said again, fingers clutching his sleeve. âPlease, Iâm begging, please just stop. Itâs not worth it.â
He finally looked at you. His eyes were glassy, breathing sharp through his nose like heâd just ran a marathon. For a second you thought he might keep going anyway, thought he wouldnât tackle the guy to the ground in a heartbeat. Then he blinked, seemed to realize where he was, and the mask cracked.
He muttered somethingââYeah, whateverââand turned away, dragging you with him.
Outside, the cold hit his skin and the anger broke into something else: guilt, shame, a tremor in his hand as he ran it through his hair.
âI didnât mean to scare ya, baby Iâm sorry, I really am.â he said, voice rough. âHe shouldnâtâve looked at you like that.â
You wanted to say he hadnât looked at you at all, that it was in Atsumuâs head, but the words stuck. The night felt too fragile, too close to snapping.
He reached for you, whispering apologies into your hair as he held you tight against his chest until the sound of his heartbeat slowed. You stayed still, breathing him in, wondering how long before it happened again.
⸝
FIRST FIGHT / PUSH & PULL:
It started with something small, it always did. You had just moved in with each other. It happened over dinner when your phone screen lit up, a text from an old friend came across your screen. He craned his neck, eyes looking down to your phone in an instant.
âWhoâs that?â Atsumu asked, tone too casual to be real.
âJust someone from my old job,â you said, trying not to tense.
His fork clinked against his plate. âHe texts ya at night often?â
You sighed. âItâs not like that.â
His nose twitched and he exhaled a sharp breath, eyes locked on yours, almost like he was trying to read between the lines of what you said.
He leaned back, arms crossed, staring at you like youâd just confessed to a crime. âI just think itâs weird, is all. Ya wouldnât like it if I did that, right?â
âItâs not the sameââ
âCourse itâs the fuckinâ same,â he snapped, voice sharp. âWhyâre ya defending him?â
You blinked, shocked. âBecauseâŚI think youâre overreacting. Weâre work friends.â
He laughed then, but it wasnât funny. It was hollow and cruel, echoing off the walls. âYeah? Ya really think Iâm overreacting? Maybe ya just like the attention.â
The fight spun out fastâit was out of control, accusations were thrown in your face before you could even speak, he stood over the table, pointing down at you in humiliation, tears ran down your face, his voice was raised, borderline screaming at you, heartache bleeding into every word he spoke. By the time it ended, he was sitting on the edge of your shared bed, breathing hard, his ears burning red, chest felt like it was about to explode, his hands shaking from the adrenaline.
âI just⌠I donât wanna lose ya,â he muttered, eyes glassy. âEveryone always leaves. I donât want this to end the same way.â
You hated how fast your anger died at that. You hated how quickly pity replaced it. You knelt in front of him, cupping his face, whispering, âIâm not leaving, I donât want to leave. I love you.â
He smiled through the mess of it, that boyish grin that could undo you with ease. âKnew ya wouldnât.â
And you hated that he was right.
⸝
THE GUILT TRIPPING / MOOD SWINGS:
You had never fought like that before. You had never seen him so angry, never heard the way he sounded when he yelled. And it scared you. It shattered something inside of you that you couldnât name, a dull ache burning in your chest every time you took a deep breathâand of course he noticed.
But instead of talking to you about what happened, instead of attempting to rebuild what heâd broken, heâd asked you to stay with him for the night after you suggested you sleep at a friendâs. He tried to fix this in the only way he knew how. You both ended up tangled in bed, clothes thrown to the floor before you could even think, bodies intertwined, the sound of your breathless moans ringing in his ears as his hips collided with your ass for the better half of the night.
Between your muffled cries, his deep, guttural groans and desperate kisses, he spoke sweet nothings to you, apologizing to you over and over until you came around him.
He woke up with you in the morning, took you to a cafe down the street he knew you frequented. Everything seemed fine, he was himself, charming and sweet like nothing happened the night before.
He didnât talk to you for two days. Not a word, not a text, not even so much as a glance. Youâd said something small over breakfast before you both left for work, something about you needing to stay late to focus on a work projectâsomething about preparing a presentation, and suddenly, heâd gone silent. He just nodded at you, unamused and dismissive.
You found him on the couch that night when you came home, phone in hand, eyes flat as he scrolled mindlessly.
âYa didnât even notice I was gone, huh? Didnât even bother to see if I was still in the gym, waiting â for ya.â
You sighed, exhausted. âI told you I had to stay late. If I didnât have to stay, I wouldnât have.â
âYa didnât even check,â he said, voice low. âNot once. I sat waitinâ for ya.â
He lied. He didnât wait for you. He sulked in his jeep in the parking lot, contemplating dragging you back home.
Your jaw clenched. âI mean with how you reacted this morning, I thought maybe you wanted space.â
He scoffed, tossing his phone onto the couch. âSpace? Thatâs what ya want too, right? Whyâre ya assuming what I want? Are ya tryna get away from me? Is that is?â
He looked so raw when he said it that you almost broke. His insecurity came wrapped in venom, but it was still real.
âIâm not trying to get away from you,â you said softly. âI think Iâm just healing from our fightâŚI think I just needed time.â
âAway from me?â
âYes.â
He flinched like youâd hit him. Then he laughed â humorless, sharp. âSo ya didnât need to stay late after all, huh? What, am I not enough anymore?â
He stood and stalked to the balcony, arms folded against the cool night air. You followed, because thatâs what he wantedâthe chase, the reassurance.
When you finally touched his arm, he turned, jaw tight, eyes glassy. âDo you still love me? We just got this apartment together, Iâm tryna build my life with ya,â he whispered.
You did. You always loved him.
He kissed you hard in that moment, desperate and lonely, pulling you close like he could glue himself back together with your skin. You knew it wasnât love anymoreâit was a game he liked to play for gratification at your expense.
⸝
THE CHAOTIC RECONCILIATION:
He always fixed things with a dramatic flare. This time it was flowersâtoo many to carryâat least twelve bouquets crowding your kitchen counter in an extravagant attempt to win your heart over. He stood in the doorway, the grin on his lips sheepish, practically holding his heart in his hands.
âI kinda got carried away,â he said, scratching the back of his neck. âThought ya deserved âem.â
You stared at the mess of petals and stems, the chaos of his affection. âDo you think this fixes it?â
He shrugged, stepping closer. âNah. But itâs a start, isnât it?â
You wanted to stay angry at him, maybe even yell at him the way he had yelled at you. You really did. But when he reached for youâlike he needed you, hands trembling like you were the only thing holding him togetherâsomething inside you melted.
âDonât look at me like that,â you said softly. âI canât be mad at you when you look at me that way, Tâsumu.â
âLike what?â he asked, tilting his head.
âLike Iâm the only thing that makes you breathe.â
He smiled, small and sad. âYa are.â
You kissed him because it was easier than fighting, easier than leaving him. Because you wanted to believe him. Because every apology he made felt like a promise that this time would be different.
But you both knew it wouldnât be.
⸝
⌠Reflection â Atsumu Miya
Loving Atsumu feels like being caught between a wildfire and a thunderstorm â all heat and chaos and noise, and you canât tell if itâs passion or destruction until itâs too late.
Heâs the kind of man who convinces you that his jealousy is love, that his control is care, that every fight is proof of how much he needs you. You start to measure your worth by how tightly he holds on, by how deeply he breaks when you pull away.
He doesnât mean to hurt you â not really. He just doesnât know any other way to love.
He confuses devotion with ownership, emotion with validation, obsession with intimacy.
You know itâs killing you, but you stay anyway. Because when itâs good, itâs blinding. When itâs bad, itâs unforgettable.
Atsumu will never love you halfway, he doesnât know how. Heâll love you how ever he sees fit, no matter how toxic, no matter how emotionally unstable he gets; heâll love you until thereâs nothing left of either of you.
AUTHORâS NOTE
Heads up for anyone whoâs messaged my inbox, my inbox isnât working and I donât know whatâs going on. Anyway, how do we feel about this? Do we want a part two with Bokuto, Osamu, and Sakusa??
featuring ⎠atsumu miya x fem!reader â¸â¸ your boyfriend learns how to braid your hair !
The afternoon sun filters through the window, catching in the strands of your hair as you sit cross-legged on the floor. Atsumu's behind you on the couch, legs spread on either side of you, a comb in one hand and your hair gathered messily in the other. The faint sound of a Youtube video plays from his phoneâa cheeful voice explaining
"Now, take the left strand and cross it over the middle one..."
Atsumu squints at the screen like he's deciphering something out of this world. "Alright... left, then middle," he mutters, gathering your hair in his hands.
He manages the first few moves surprisingly well. Ever so often you can feel the faint pull of your hair as he carefully crosses one section over another. But then, when he tried to bunch everything into his other hand, the whole thing slips loose, falling apart instantly.
He huffs, cheeks a little pink. "'Course I am," he mutters under his breath. "Just gotta... wrangle it better this time."
He's so focused. You can tell by his silence and by the way his hands still every few seconds like he's thinking really, really hard about the next move.
"Okay... over, under... wait, noâshit, come back hereâ"
You bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing again, watching his reflection in the darkened TV screen. His brow is furrowed, his bottom lip caught between his teeth, tongue poking out in concentration.
"Ya got really soft hair," he mumbles absently, and it makes your heart flutter, the words slipping out so naturally that he doesn't even notice.
Time passes quietlyâfinally, he ties off the end with a tiny elastic and exhales. "Alright," he says proudly. "Moment of truth."
You reach back, fingers grazing the braid. It's a little loose, some strands sticking outâbut the effort's there.
"Not bad," you admit, a small smile tugging at your lips.
"Not bad?" he repeats, offended. "That's professional-level braidin', sweetheart."
You glance up at him. His face is smug, but his hairâs sticking up in every direction, and his thumbs are fidgeting like heâs waiting for approval.
âItâs cute,â you say softly.
He beams. âDamn right it is.â
You laugh, leaning back a little until his chest is pressed to your back. His arms loop loosely around your shoulders, chin settling on top of your head.
âNext time,â he murmurs, voice a little lower, âIâll do oneâa those fancy ones. The⌠fish-tail thing.â
You smile, feeling him grin against your hair. âIâll believe it when I see it.â
âYa will,â he hums, kissing the top of your head.
Š LOVKITTI 2024-2025, PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, PLAGIARIZE, MODIFY OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORK.
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content: msby!atsumu, established relationship, fluff, female reader. word count: 0,7k.
âDid I do something wrong?â
Atsumu asked, stepping into the room with only a towel slung low around his hips, his damp blonde hair clinging messily to his forehead. His skin still glistened with the remnants of steam, and he left wet footprints on the hardwood floor.
After a long, exhausting day, all he wanted was to crawl into bed, snuggle into his beautiful girlfriendâs arms, and drift off to sleep under the familiar blanket you shared.
But something was different tonight.
The first few steps of his nighttime routine went as usualâyou were already in bed, reading a book and waiting for himâbut the beloved gray blanket was neatly folded on his side of the bed, while a soft pink one covered your legs.
His eyes flickered to yours in confusion. âWhy the question?â You asked, glancing up from your book. Then you noticed his stare and let out a quiet, âOh.â
âYou mad at me?â He pressed, his lower lip jutting out just a little, already preparing for the worst.
âIâm not mad.â You reassured him with a small smile. âItâs just an idea I had.â Before he could ask why, you continued, âRemember what we talked about? About, uh⌠your sleeping habits?â
Atsumu blinked. Oh. That talk.
Of course, he remembered. Two months ago. It had been two weeks after you moved in together, when love and domestic bliss were still new and shiny. Youâd sweetly mentioned that his nighttime antics were, well, a little⌠chaotic. Sometimes throwing an arm over your face, sometimes draping a leg across you like an overly affectionate octopus. Which were completely fine for you, but the one thing you couldnât deal with was that he was a shameless blanket thief.
Heâd promised to work on it. But sleep-logic Atsumu and awake-logic Atsumu were two entirely different creatures.
So, you had tried everything. Tucking the blanket under you, securing it beneath the mattressânothing worked. And so, youâd come up with a simple solution: separate blankets.
Atsumu, however, was clearly not a fan of this idea.
With a dramatic sigh, he shuffled to the closet, every step a performance of exaggerated woe. He tugged out a pair of boxers, his expression the embodiment of a heartbroken puppy.
âBabyâŚâ You called to him, your voice gentle but laced with an I-know-youâre-about-to-be-dramatic tone.
âIf you want to divorce me, just say so.â He mumbled, slipping on his boxers. His shoulders slumped, and he looked as if he might melt into a puddle right there on the floor.
You rolled your eyes, fighting a smile. âWeâre not even married.â
âExactly! Thatâs worse! You could just leave me. No legal ties, no paperwork, just goneâpoof!â He flailed his arms for emphasis. âAnd then Iâll have to fight for the house in court while you take the dog that we donât even have yet.â
âAtsumu.â
âAnd before I know it, youâll find someone who sleeps like a corpse and doesnât steal blankets, and youâll never be cold again andââ
You shut your book, the sound soft but definitive. He stopped mid-ramble, watching as you set it on the nightstand and reached for his hand.
âHey.â
He blinked at you, his expression still a perfect blend of pitiful and hopeful.
âYou know itâs not about you being a problem, right?â You said, your thumb drawing lazy circles on his hand.
â...Itâs not?â His lip wobbled just a bit, milking the moment for all it was worth.
You shook your head and gently pulled him closer. The distance between you dissolved, and with it, a little bit of his drama. âNo, dummy. I just need sleep too.â
He exhaled, all his performative misery unraveling into a dramatic slump of relief. âFine.â He muttered, dragging his feet as you coaxed him into bed. âBut I donât like it.â
You giggled and he immediately flopped down, half on top of you as usual, his weight pinning you to the mattress like a very clingy, very warm blanket of his own.
âWhat if we just get a bigger comforter?â He asked, muffled against your shoulder.
You hummed thoughtfully, fingers combing through his damp hair. âThat might work.â
âWe can go buy it tomorrow.â
âWe can.â You agreed, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. âBut until then, separate blankets.â
content: msby!atsumu, kinda suggestive, established relationship. word count: 1,2k.
The photo was good. Maybe too good.
Atsumu knew his angles, alright? The post-workout sweat, his shorts slung low on his hips, the faint outline of his abs courtesy of a brutal core sessionâ his hand over the outline of a very special and intimate part of his body. Lighting? Immaculate. His smirk? Chefâs kiss. He even made sure his hair looked messy on purpose.
All that effort purely for you.
He hit the send button with a smile, already looking forward to your reaction when you saw the picture after you were done with your shower.
A reaction that was not going to come, because the picture went to the MSBY group chat.
He realized it too late.
The second both of the little check mark showed up and Meianâs name appeared with a deadpan bro, Atsumuâs soul left his body.
âNO, NO, NO, NO!â
By the time he deleted the photo from the chat, he knew it was still too late.
Meian: bro
Hinata: I DID NOT NEED TO SEE THAT
Bokuto: wait r u okay or is this u seducing us??Â
Inunaki: ???
Inunaki: wtf????
Sakusa: ?
Sakusa: blocking your number
Coach: Miya, PLEASE do not send nudes to the team.Â
He threw his phone across the bed like it had personally betrayed him. Which, in a way, it had. Why the hell are the chat names so close together?!
Suddenly, just to make matters worse, you rushed out of the shower, the towel wrapped around your body messily from putting it on in a hurry.
âWhat happened? Is everything okay?â
Atsumu was red, his hands on his head, and he cornered himself on the side of the bed, as if this piece of furniture could protect him from the very embarrassing moment he had just experienced.
âTsumu?âÂ
âBaby, Iâm going to retire.â
âWhat?âÂ
âIâm retiring and moving to Alaska. Look at me really good, baby. Because this might be the last time youâre seeing me.â
âWhatâs going on? Are youââÂ
Atsumuâs phone left on the bed caught your attention, from the looks of it, something on his device was to blame for your boyfriendâs mood.Â
âWhat were you watching?â You scolded him as you reached for the phone.
Atsumu instantly jumped up, âDonât look at my phone!â
âWhy not?â When you unlocked the phone and saw the chat open, you squinted at the screen, scrolling through the messages. âWait, I donât understand. You sent a nude to the group chat?â
âIt wasnât a nude, just a slightly provocative photo.â He said, trying to defend himself.
After you processed the information, you couldnât help but burst out laughing.Â
âItâs not funny! This is the worst day of my life!â His face was the color of an apple now, hands covering his burning cheeks. âIt was supposed to be for you!â
âBut why were you sending me slightly provocative photos when I was literally here? In the shower? Like twenty feet away from you?â
Atsumu threw his hands up defensively. âI donât know, for fun?!â
That set you off again, and something about the way he said itâso genuinely bewildered by his own choices, like a puppy who didnât understand why the shoe he chewed was a problemâmade your heart squeeze. He was ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. And somehow, that made him even more endearing.
Atsumu let out a long, defeated groan and collapsed onto the bed face-first, his voice muffled against the comforter. âIâm never showing my face at practice again. Theyâre gonna roast me for the rest of my career. Omiâs probably already bleaching his eyeballs.â
You watched him lie there, completely deflated. The tips of his ears were still bright red, and his shoulders had that slumped quality that told you he was genuinely mortified. Okay, maybe youâd teased him enough.Â
You climbed onto the bed beside him, your hand gently rubbing circles on his back. âHey.â You said softly. âBaby, itâs not that bad.â
âNot that bad?â He turned his head just enough to look at you with one eye, his expression pitiful. âI sent a nude to my entire team. Coach Foster saw it. Coach Foster. I can never look him in the eye again.â
âOkay, yeah, that part is pretty bad.â You admitted, and he groaned again, burying his face back into the mattress. You couldnât help but smile as you ran your fingers through his hair. âBut hey, theyâll tease you for like... a week, tops. Maybe two. And then Bokuto will do something dumb and everyone will forget all about it.â
âYou really think so?â His voice was small, hopeful.
âI know so.â You tugged gently at his hair until he rolled over onto his back, looking up at you with those warm brown eyes that were still clouded with embarrassment. You leaned down, cupping his face with your hands. âBesides, youâve got a great body. If anything, they should be thanking you for blessing their group chat.â
That got a weak laugh out of him, one corner of his mouth quirking up. âYouâre just sayinâ that.â
âIâm absolutely not.â You brushed your thumb across his cheekbone, your voice sincere. âYouâre hot, Tsumu. Like, annoyingly hot. Itâs actually kind of unfair.â
Some of the tension finally left his body, and his hands came up to rest on your hips, pulling you closer. âYeah?â
âYeah.â You leaned down to kiss him, soft and reassuring, until you felt him relax completely beneath you. When you pulled back, he was smilingâthat genuine, slightly dopey smile you loved.Â
You settled beside him, propping yourself up on one elbow, and traced absent patterns on his chest. After a moment of comfortable silence, you spoke up, trying to sound casual. âSo... am I still gonna receive that photo? You know, in the right chat this time?â
Atsumuâs entire body went rigid.
His head whipped toward you so fast you were worried he might hurt his neck. âYou⌠wait, you wantâ?â His voice cracked spectacularly, and he cleared his throat, ears immediately burning red again. âEven afterâ I mean, you reallyâ?â
You bit your lip to keep from laughing at how utterly flustered heâd become. Here was this confident, cocky setter who could trash-talk like no other, completely short-circuiting at your question.
âI mean, you took it for me, right?â You tilted your head, playing with the chain around his neck. âSeems like a waste if I never get to see it.â
Atsumuâs mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. No sound came out. His hands on your hips tightened slightly, and you could practically see the gears in his brain grinding to a halt and trying to restart.
âIââ He started, then stopped. Swallowed hard. His gaze darted away from yours, then back, then away again, a flush creeping down his neck. âYouâre serious?â
âDead serious.â
The look on his face was pricelessâsomewhere between elated and completely overwhelmed. His trademark smirk tried to make an appearance, but it kept flickering into something much more genuine and flustered.
âWell.â He finally managed, voice slightly strangled. âI guess⌠If you really want⌠yeah. Yeah, okay.â
You grinned and leaned down to kiss his cheek. âGood. Iâll be waiting then.â
You started to pull away to finally get dressed, but his arms wrapped around you, keeping you in place for a moment longer.
âYouâre gonna be the death of me.â He muttered against your shoulder, and you could feel the heat radiating from his face.
âAt least it wonât be from embarrassment this time.â You said cheerfully, finally extracting yourself from his grip.
His only response was another groan as he grabbed a pillow and covered his face with it.