We're going to cry..........but it’s gonna to be ok

🕷️ Irony: I write Spider-Man fanfiction (well, Spider-GIRL), but if I see a real spider, I’m moving house. It’s a delicate balance.

🌌Vibes: Physically here, mentally in Middle-earth or the Avengers Tower. My personality is a Venn diagram of LOTR comfort-watches and Gemini energy.

🃏 Reality: I read Tarot, love almost every animal, and process trauma like a boss-on the days my imposter syndrome isn't running the board. No one could ever accuse me of being humble... unless I’m currently convinced I’ve never written a good sentence in my life.

Me: People loved the first fic! Surely they'll be excited for the sequel!

AO3 statistics: ✨no✨

To be clear, I know readers don't owe authors anything and people have lives and fandoms move fast.

Like okay. The weather is gorgeous. I got enough sleep. I'm in a good mood...interesting.

What's your angle?

You spend months writing a story that has completely taken over your brain. You pour your heart into it. You post the sequel you've been excited about for ages.

And then you refresh AO3 approximately 8,000 times.

I've gotten some genuinely lovely comments already. Comments that I keep rereading because they mean so much to me. Rationally, I know those comments are worth more than any statistic.

But also, if we're being honest, I saw the notification email earlier, got excited, and it turned out to be a bot comment. Which feels like a uniquely fanfic author emotional experience.

So now I'm sitting here in that weird space where I'm incredibly grateful, incredibly proud of what I wrote, and also convinced I may have simply released my beloved story into the vast AO3 wilderness and am watching it disappear over the horizon.