Ur Mom

first of all "Training Peanuts" made me fucking CACKLE

second of all, SO funny to imagine shane deciding to use the summer to start doing this so it won't have an impact on his performance if it goes badly (*ilya voice* and what about impact on your husband? no concern for this?), which means ilya's stress levels are flipping WILDLY over the course of the summer.

texture of peanut butter is Bad and the taste is meh

during the literal YEARS of not knowing he could potentially kill shane? NO

THE ALLERGIES WAITED UNTIL HE FELT SAFE

he had fries or something while he was out at a bar with the team and didn't think about it because he didn't order them and was just absentmindedly grazing from the plate that got shared, but he goes home to shane, kiss kiss, starting to strip, and then shane just *increasingly frequent pauses to try and clear his throat* *realization about what's happening*

GOD post-outing but pre-knowing about shane's allergies, the team just assumes oh?? the bar must have said something homophobic or something??? cap must have been the only one who heard it?? and they're now like well FUCK that place >:( and start refusing to go there, too.

the idea of shane staying over at ilya's house for the first time after the cottage and there's a meal with multiple components laid out when he gets there and he's just, "oh damn, smells good. which one's for me?" and ilya (absently because he's finishing up dishes) is just, "what?" "which one's safe for me?" because he's just expecting like. one or two kept safe for him. which is PLENTY because he knows firsthand that cooking for his allergies is fucking annoying. and ilya "all of them?? is all safe for you. i checked against list."

then the perfectly safe food ends up getting cold and needing to be reheated because what is shane supposed to do after that??? NOT fuck him??

IT COST THEM A LOT OF PAIN AND TURMOIL?? BUT ALSO?? HE DIDN'T ACCIDENTALLY KILL SHANE???

the idea of ilya handfeeding shane slices of mango and shane then licking the juice from ilya's hand and the intersection of two pleasures he only receives from ilya and ilya's satisfaction in facilitating shane's pleasure in a way no one else has or can

so he creates his own personal system of earning them where if he scores a bunch of goals in peewee practice he gets to eat a mango or if he does well in school or if he cleans his room

yuna finds him in the corner broken out in hives covered in mango juice with the biggest smile on his face and she’s FREAKING out and she and david try to explain to him that no, honey, it’s not that you’re not ALLOWED to eat mangoes it’s that the mangoes are trying to kill you baby

and eventually he gets it and stops eating them but then he gets even older and he realizes this is a risk reward situation and then he comes back full circle to scheduling in/earning his indulgences