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if i look back, i am lost
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@crwinston

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( the falconās crest )
@crwinston
the brisk night time of new zealand offers devin a reprieve. while the summer trip helps her gain distance from her problems, and sheās eternally grateful for the lack of sun exposure she could have experienced elsewhere, that doesnāt mean it is without stress. thereās ever-present roommates and tasks, scheduled days and group tours. devin has never been much of an āoutdoorsyā person and is even less of a people person, so this trip pushes limits. many of times it has proven hard for her to find enough solitude to enjoy.
of course, now that sheās actually alone, her first thoughts are of the waiting problems back in england. she can still remember the day she received the letter, moon family crest pressed into wax as a means to seal her fate. she felt the omen as soon as it was in her hands. and the contents of the letter had only reassured her that she was right to feel so.
sighing, devin presses more into her coat, hidden in the shadows of the moonless night as she sits on a bench just near the entrance to the lodging house. itās just cold enough that she feels the slightest of chill on her finger tips, but the warmth that her jacket offers is a comfort. her cheeks are red, but the mist in her eyes has nothing to do with the weather.Ā
the door beside her opens suddenly.
when devin turns, sheās relieved to see a familiar face, but winston and her arenāt exactly friendly enough for her to be pleased. thereās too many unresolved feelings on her side and heās too aroundĀ for her to actually work through them. best friends with alexander, always with fĆ©lix. the jealously he had inspired when they first met has cooled as the years passed by and yetā¦
sheās always retained a polite distance.
as if he can hear her thoughts, heās abruptly looking her way and devin blinks, startled, and a trail of water slips down her cheek. then, like a crumbling dam, a sob bubbles in her throat with a sudden violence. she chokes it back before it can surface, but by then thereās more tears gathering in her eyes so devin turns away, covering her face to hide it all away.Ā
To say their summer trip was proving quite difficult was almost an understatement at this point. FĆ©lix likes to be separated from Winston about as much as Winston likes it, which is not at all whatsoever. Whatās worse and hard on both of them, but of course hardest on FĆ©lix is the way his already sleep-resistantĀ body reacts minus the gangly Ravenclaw it is accustomed to snuggling upon. It rejects sleep altogether.
After an arduous day of traveling and an evening of FĆ©lixās desperate clinging and pouting, Winston had no choice but to force himself out of his embrace. He could see FĆ©lixās frown intensify from his peripheral vision as he pulled open the nightstand drawer and removed one of several sleeping draughts that still remained.Ā āYou have to sleep FĆ©e. Try not to worry...Hanās right here and Iāll be in the same spot by the time you open your eyes again,ā he promised. His heart felt heavy as he watched him obediently take the vial and swallow its contents but a sight of relief escaped his lips all the same.
āThank you,ā he whispered into FĆ©lixās ear as he leaned in to kiss him. It was only seconds before he succumbed but the heaviness in Winstonās heart didnāt lessen. He knew how much his boyfriend disliked using aids to get sleep. He knew he only considered it so that Winston would worry less about how he was doing when he couldnāt be near him. In truth, he wasnāt taking the potion so that he could sleep, he was taking it so that Winston could.
After making sure he was tucked in properly and muttering soft goodnights to the other boys in the room and Han, who he was 97% sure was not sleeping even though he appeared to be, Winston left their room and started heading back to his own. Somehow, he ended up going down instead of up, finding himself staring at the door. Just a breath of cold night air would clear his head, he assured himself as he walked toward the entry of their lodgings and slipped into the night.
He got his breath of cold air and it caught in his throat when he noticed a small figure on a nearby bench. He instantly recognized the small, pale face, even with only moonlight illuminating it. He likes Devin. She is very close to two of the people he is closest to, and yet, he is never quite sure that Devin likes him.
Bursting into tears at the sight of him seemed like a pretty compelling conclusion.
Winstonās mouth fell open, shocked by the girlās tears. Of course, he couldnāt just leave her out there, whether he was the cause of her distress or not.Ā āDevin? ...Devin!ā he called softly as he rushed over to her, kneeling at her side instead of joining her.Ā āHey...whatās wrong? What happened?ā he cooed softly, his hand daring to gently find its way onto her shoulder.
far from home
It felt like another year had come and gone in a flash, but this year was different. He was starting into his fourth year which meant this year would be full ofĀ āthe lastās. The first being, their last summer trip. Winston was excited, of course, but there was a lingering bittersweetness surrounding the journey and not just because of the overwhelming disappointment many of the students felt regarding the location and planning or lack thereof, of said trip. It was to be his last, the ending of an era, and despite what was looking like devastating odds, he was determined to enjoy himself.
Cheering up FĆ©lix was the clearest path to his own happiness but certainly would not be an easy feat.Ā āI know itāll feel like an eternity, FĆ©e but we can talk or Iāll read you something or we can listen to music...weāll probably have time for all of that, to be honest.ā He grimaced apologetically, a dimple peeking from his left cheek as he tried to cover up what felt like a failure. He lifted an arm, sliding it around his boyfriendās shoulders and pulling him closer.Ā āItād be good if you could rest,ā he mentioned gently, trying to be casual about what he feared would be an uncomfortable experience for FĆ©lix. Winston had, of course, prepared for the situation.
@crxfelix
āæ
Headcanon Time - Accepting!
Has your muse had any injuries in the past?
To put it delicately,Winston is ratherĀ accident-prone. He has not had any serious injuries, thankfully, but bumps, breaks, and bruises have been far too many to count! Heās a bit of a clumsy fellow. Tall, broad and long-limbed; just gangly enough to cause trouble, it would seem! WinstonĀ could possibly be the most unintentionally destructive person youāll ever meet. Itās intensely embarrassing how many things this Ravenclaw has accidentally demolished. He feels like his habit of being unable to control his body detracts from his overall intelligence. After all, what sort of knowledgeable person canāt control his or her body? He feels almost directly responsible for Felix developing an interest in healing magic for the sheer multitude of times heās had to sit by helplessly after Winston obliterated something and himself in the process.

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āš±
Headcanon Time - Accepting!
Does your muse believe in luck? How about fate?
Fate is one of those four-letter words that you wonāt find Winston using often. He hates the idea that he isnāt in control of his life; that things have already been designed by some higher force and he has no choice but to accept the hand heās been dealt. In some applications, Fate is a romantic notion, but he much prefers the idea that his hard work and effort has brought him the fortune or misfortune that comes into his life.
Despite being a wizard and living in a magical society, Winston prefers logic and reason over mystical measures, which is not to say he does not lend credence to Divination. He has absolutely no skill at looking beyond the obvious so he greatly respects those who are able to glimpse beyond the veil. He doesnāt, however, feel as if prophecy or Fate, areĀ exchangeable in terms of what diviners are capable of seeing. Thereās still an element of choice, in his mind, when comparing a concept like Fate and someone able to sense what could happen if you continue on a certain path.
Does your muse prefer calling or texting?
Winston loves a good conversation and if it canāt be in person, over the phone is the next best thing. There is a lot that can be lost or mistranslated through text and he finds that thereās less confusion and misunderstanding when he speaks to someone instead. He also tends to be a bit clumsy so texting is a bit of a nuisance with all the correcting he ends up doing. When communicating with someone who does prefer text, he uses the speech to text feature when he can. Unfortunately, he isnāt the best about checking what the message has been deciphered into before he sends it, so it makes for amusing confusion for the recipient and sometimes for him too.
ā”ļø,šØ
Headcanon Time - Accepting!
How does your muse feel about storms? Is he afraid of them or do they calm him?
In general, storms make Winston a bit anxious. He isnāt uncharacteristically upset by them but he certainly doesnāt enjoy a storm like some people do. Mother Nature possesses a terrifying wrath and Winston canāt overlook the inherentĀ dangers associated with weather in favor of enjoying the flashes and booms that go along with storms. Pelting rain on a rooftop, on the other hand, is quite soothing but electricity crackling from the Heavens towards the Earth, not so much.
How well does your muse sleep?
One of the earliest memories he has of his mother is from a conversation she was having with a close friend. She and the other woman were both praising their sons and he can still remember the sense of pride that filled him when she described him so sincerely as a āgood sleeper.ā He didnāt really understand at the time why that was such praise but it made him feel quite special.Ā Even now not much has changed. Winston can sleep just about anywhere and at times it seems he could sleep through just about anything. He is not one that falls asleep during class, as he finds his studies incredibly interesting but if he doesnāt have an active goal in mind or a task at hand, it wouldnāt be uncommon to find him propped up against something...most likely with his mouth hanging open in an unflattering fashion, having a bit of a snooze.
ā
Headcanon Time - Accepting!
Does your muse prefer coffee or tea?
Winston doesnāt much care for tea unless itās a hot summer day and the tea has been iced and sweetened. As much as he wishes he was sophisticated enough to enjoy theĀ seemingly endless blends, his brew of choice is coffee. He has become one of those morning zombies that cannot function properly without imbibing the precious liquid. He takes it extra hot with one sugar and itās quite likely that if you manage to present him with his first cup of the day, heāll feel he owes you a favor.
HEADCANON TIME!
⤠: What does your museās voice sound like? Is it light? High pitched? Scratchy? Deep?
ā : What is your museās handwriting like? Is it neat? Sloppy? Fancy?
ā : Does your muse prefer coffee or tea?
ā : Is your muse good with keeping on schedule for meetings, appointments, or events, or are they always late? Or, are they always a bit early?
āæ : Has your muse had any injuries in the past?
āŗ : What is your museās smile like? Do they smile often?
ā” : How does your muse feel about storms? Are they afraid of them, or do they calm them?
ā : How does your muse react to possibly dangerous situations? Do they face them head-on, or do they plan out their actions first?
ā Ā : What is your museās favorite season? What about their least favorite season, if they have one?
ā Ā : Does your muse like rain?
ā¼ : Does your muse like daytime or nighttime more?
šØ Ā : How well does your muse sleep?
ā : Does your muse believe in luck? How about fate?
⯠: Does your muse have good eyesight? If not, what is it like? Are they nearsighted or farsighted? Or both? Do they use glasses? Or do they prefer contacts?
š : If your muse wears glasses, what are their glasses frames like?
⨠: Does your muse have good table manners? How do they feel about bad table manners?
ā : What is your museās opinion about flower crowns?
⬠: Does your muse sing well? Regardless of whether they sing well or not, do they enjoy singing?
ā : What is your museās favorite animal?
ĪµŃŠ· : How does your muse feel about bugs and insects?
š± : Does your muse prefer calling or texting?
ā : Of the sun, stars, and the moon, which is your museās favorite?
ć : Does your muse prefer lots of friends, or just a few close ones?
ā : Is your muse religious?
send me emojis!Ā
4 A.M.  [ Winston & Félix ]
Winston hoisted his satchel onto the bench between him and the person to his left. There wasnāt enough room to do so on his right. There was barely enough room for oxygen between him and FĆ©lix. Carefully, he transferred the baked goods heād just spent the last five or so minutes delicately wrapping in napkins into his bag. He could feel several sets of eyes on him and then an inquisitive chin on his shoulder. Why exactly was he hoarding food?
āItās gonna be a long night, FĆ©e,ā he explained, tone slightly warning.Ā āWeāll need this for energy later.ā That was Winston. Always looking ahead, always preparing and yet, somehow not completely thinking things through.Ā āSo! My place or yours?ā he asked more cheerfully as he pulled the flap on his bag down and turned back to the boy beside him. In the process, his gaze hovered over the two Hufflepuff girls that had been sitting across from them but who were now hurrying out of their seats with cheeks flushed so bright that even Winston noticed.
He froze, eyes wide with panic. He wasnāt sure their ages; somewhere under seventh year for sure.Ā āStudying! Weāre not...! Weāll be studying all night!ā he blurted out frantically but it only seemed to cause them to quicken their pace. Dejectedly, Winston sighed and turned defeated to the boy to his right.Ā āScarred. Iāve scarred them...ā
@crxfelix

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Obligatory introduction time! Thanks so much for all the welcomes and plot offers weāve received so far, this is such a great community! Iāve got a few pages up for Win (bio & stats), but no plots just yet. Iāll work on those later this week, hopefully. Until then Iām happy to check your open plots or brainstorm. Iāll include a TLDR on his history and some miscellaneous tidbits below if anyone is inclinedĀ to take a gander and, throw a like on this if youād like me to comeĀ āround and figure out a way to interact with your muse! c:
well, fuck (me)
The broken will always be able to love harder than most. Once you have been in the dark, youāre going to appreciate everything that shines.
AnonymousĀ (via wnq-anonymous)